


Chasing Gold

by ww713



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), MCU, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Avengers - Freeform, Avengers Family, Avengers Feels, Bisexual Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers Friendship, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Slow Burn, Deaf Clint Barton, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gay Clint barton, Hate to Love, Hurt/Comfort, Hydra (Marvel), Love/Hate, M/M, Memory Loss, Mild Smut, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Slow Burn, Trust Issues, We Changing Captain America Civil War, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, avengers mcu - Freeform, eventual Infinity War, gay relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:15:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 140,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23586736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ww713/pseuds/ww713
Summary: Steve Rogers just wants a friend, someone to connect with. Olivia Harrington is his charming, overly enthusiastic neighbor, who doesn't recognize Steve at all. But not everything is as it seems, because of course it isn't. And Tony is sticking his nose in places where it shouldn't be, because of course he is. Natasha, Clint, and Sam are just trying to bring Steve into the times, because...well...it's about damn time.Some Steve/OC, but ultimately this is Bucky/OC, because I am Bucky trash. Also some Clint Barton/Sam Wilson because I thought it would be cute.
Relationships: Clint Barton/Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes/Original Female Character(s), Steve Rogers/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 142
Kudos: 65





	1. I'm Sorry but I Think I Know You

Steve was used to getting stared at. The days of becoming uncomfortable under an unfamiliar gaze, were long gone. He was, after all, quickly becoming a household name, what with the attacks on New York, followed by the disaster in D.C. and the uncovering of HYDRA. Tony had told him to get used to it, enjoy it even, but he didn’t think he ever would.

He didn’t think the young woman sitting at the table across from him knew what she was doing. It had started as a few meaningless glances, looking up every now and then from the computer in front of her. Eventually however, the full-blown staring started. He did his best to ignore it, sipping his coffee, doodling in his sketch book, anything to keep his eyes from hers. A few times he debated asking the waitress for his check, but it was a quiet day at his favorite café. So far no one had approached him, and despite her staring, she hadn’t made any moves to bother him, so he stayed.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her turn her attention back to her computer, and he finally dared a real glance at her. She looked young, probably a student at one of New York’s many universities come to study at the quiet coffee shop. Her chestnut colored hair fell in wispy curls around her neck and down her front, half was pulled up into a messy bun on the back of her head. Her eyes were a bright honey color, and her full face was littered with freckles. Either she had felt his gaze or had decided to continue watching him, and as soon as their eyes made contact, she gave him a small smile and cocked her head slightly to one side. He returned her smile, silently praying she didn’t take at as some sort of invitation to ask for an autograph or “selfie”. Her eyes widened and he winced, waiting for the questions to begin.

“I’m sorry, but I think I know you,” she said, “I mean I’m pretty sure I do…I’ve just been trying to figure it out.”

He raised an eyebrow. He certainly had been expecting that.

“Oh?” he asked, “And have you figured it out yet?”

“I think so,” she nodded, beaming brightly, “You live in the same complex as me, across the hall, like three doors down.”

Steve let out a relieved laugh. She still hadn’t recognized him, and he realized that maybe he was getting a big head about things. Tony must have been rubbing off on him.

“Wow,” he nodded, “Uh yeah, I think I have seen you around.”

She did look familiar, now that he had paused to really look at her. He had moved back to New York after everything in D.C. went down. Brooklyn to be exact. He did it partly because he and the others had started working on taking out HYDRA bases and he thought that being closer to the team’s headquarters would be beneficial. He mostly did it because he thought if Bucky did regain his memories, he’d most likely come back to the place he knew best.

“Yeah,” he nodded again, “I do know you. You walk around the complex humming or singing loudly,” he grinned.

“Well okay,” she said, her cheeks turning bright red, “Let’s not make it sound like I patrol that halls like some kind of banshee.”

“No, I didn’t mean that,” Steve laughed, “I just meant that whenever I see you coming or going, you’re singing.”

“Yeah, well, I like music,” she shrugged.

“Well you have a very nice voice,” Steve said.

“Classically trained,” she said with a cocky little head bobble.

“Really?” Steve asked.

“No, I’m totally joking,” she laughed.

“That makes sense,” Steve said, “You’re good, but you’re not _that_ good.”

“Wow,” she said, “I’m impressed, you’re already mocking me, and you don’t even know my name yet.”

“You’re right,” Steve chuckled, “I apologize. What is your name?”

“Olivia Harrington,” she smirked.

“Well it’s nice to meet you Olivia,” said Steve.

“Call me Liv, and I haven’t met you yet,” she grinned.

“Right…” he said, slowly.

Steve hesitated for a moment, he didn’t want to tell her who he was, not yet. It was refreshing talking to someone who didn’t have a million questions about Captain America, his past, or what he and the others were up to these days.

“I’m James,” he said, regretting his name choice as soon as it came out.

“Did you forget your name there James?” she asked raising an eyebrow at him.

“Let’s just say you caught me off guard,” he laughed.

“Well, alright then,” she said through narrowed eyes, “I don’t know if I believe that, but I’ll let it slide this time.”

“I appreciate that,” he laughed.

“So neighbor,” she said, “Would you like to join me over here? Or should we continue our conversation from six feet away.”

“I uh…” he stammered.

The truth was, that he did want to join her, very much. She was the first person, other than Sam, who had taken an interest in her beyond Captain America. Sam, however, knew who he almost the minute they met. This girl, Olivia, Liv, didn’t. He had already lied once and stupidly used Bucky’s name, continuing a conversation with her would mean more lies.

She raised her eyebrows at him and tilted her head questioningly. Maybe he didn’t have to lie, he thought. All he had to do was keep her thinking he was just some random guy in her apartment complex, a regular neighbor and nothing more.

“Sure, why not,” he said.

Against his better judgement, he grabbed his coffee mug and sketchbook and stood, making his way over to her table. She smiled as he took the seat across from her, and snapped her laptop shut.

“Are you an artist?” she asked, glancing down at his sketchbook.

“Not really,” he said, “Call it a distraction.”

“Interesting,” she said with a nod, “A distraction from what?”

“I didn’t realize this was an interview,” Steve laughed lightly.

“I’m sorry,” Olivia said smacking her hand to her forehead, “I majored in journalism, call it an old habit,” she said.

“Ah, so you’re a writer?” he asked, indicating to her laptop.

“Actually no,” she said shaking her head, “A photographer. I double majored, journalism and photography. I quite literally hated journalism. I wanted to be a photographer, but ‘that doesn’t make money’,” she said mimicking someone, “So I focused on becoming a photojournalist.”

“And how is that working out for you?” Steve asked sipping his coffee.

“Let’s put it this way,” Olivia chuckled, “I currently help an older Russian man run a bookstore across the bridge. I’m actually subletting his apartment. He’s an old family friend, nice guy, kinda kooky.”

“Well that certainly is a different path,” Steve laughed.

“Eh,” she shrugged, “I realized very quickly that photojournalism was not for me. I’m a photographer, not a journalist. But I needed to pay the bills somehow. Plus, it’s an easy gig and he gives me free reign over advertising and obviously lets me get away with incredibly cheap rent. Also, when and how did you turn this on me?”

“I’m just good like that,” he smiled.

“Well I’m turning it back on you. How long have you lived in Brooklyn?” she asked.

She picked up the croissant on the plate in front of her and ripped off a piece. He took the brief moment of distraction to consider her question. He couldn’t tell her about his time in D.C., too many questions could be asked, too many opportunities to lie or slip up. Steve was never super keen on the attention that being Captain America brought him. As grateful as he was that she still hadn’t recognized him, he still couldn’t really believe it.

She popped the croissant piece in her mouth and looked back up at him expectantly.

“Pretty much my whole life,” he said truthfully, “Spent a little time in a few other cities, but Brooklyn is home.”

“Cute,” she smiled, “I mean I think Brooklyn is a little crusty, but the sentiment is very cute.”

“You think it’s crusty now? You should have seen it back in my day,” Steve laughed.

“Back in your day?” Olivia asked, “You’re what…twenty-five? Twenty-six maybe?”

“I’m twenty-seven,” he said quickly, “I just meant that when I was in growing up, it was different.”

“I’m sure it was old man,” Olivia teased.

“Alright, alright,” he laughed shaking his head, “It’s a phrase my dad used to say. But I’m not lying to you, it was different.”

“I believe you,” she beamed.

“Okay Liv,” he said, “How long have you been here?”

“Well, I moved out here about six months ago,” she replied, “Not that you need my life story, but I grew up in Massachusetts. After I graduated college, I took a few years off and traveled, mostly in Europe. I uh,” she paused for a moment, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “Sorry,” she said shaking her head.

“No, it’s alright, you good?” he asked.

“Yeah,” she, exhaled puffing out her cheeks, “Yeah, I’m good, I just lost my train of thought. Anyway…I ended up here.”

“You just ended up here?” Steve questioned.

“Well no,” Olivia said shaking her head, “I’d always planned on living here, I mean not exactly Brooklyn I guess, but yeah.”

“And your parents were just…alright with you picking up and moving to the big city? I mean even after everything that happened” asked Steve.

“Wow James, asking the big questions,” she said with a wink.

“I’m just trying to get to know my neighbor,” Steve quipped.

“Well alright then, buckle up neighbor,” she laughed, “First of all, I’m twenty-four, so it isn’t like anyone had much of a say of where I went. Second of all, I don’t know my parents. I was raised by my aunt, who tried her best, but was always very career driven.”

“Ah,” Steve said with a curt nod, “I’m sorry,” he offered.

“Don’t be,” she said with a small smile, “Like I said, she did her best. She is the reason I was able to travel for so long after college. Eventually though, she wanted me a little closer to home, as in stateside, and a little more independent. So here I am.”

“That is some story,” Steve said sipping his coffee.

“What about you? What’s your story?” she asked nodding her head towards him.

“Oh…well, there’s not really much to tell,” he said awkwardly.

“I find that hard believe,” she said narrowing her eyes.

“It’s the truth, I was born in Brooklyn, grew up in Brooklyn, and now I’m here…in Brooklyn,” he said, breezing past some very important details.

“Where do you work?” she asked

“I work for a team that does…different things…uh it’s kind of hard to explain,” he said scratching the back of his neck.

She narrowed her eyes at him again. He reminded himself that he didn’t have to lie, he just needed to leave out some important details.

“I work for Stark Industries,” he said quickly, “I don’t usually talk about it…”

“Oh my gosh, have you met him?” Olivia interrupted.

“Because of questions like that,” he sighed.

“I’m sorry,” she said shaking her head, “I’m sorry, you do not have to answer my incredibly stupid question. It just sort of came out.”

“Well,” Steve smirked, “Actually, I have met him, and between you and me, he’s kind of a dick.”

“I think the whole world knows that,” Olivia laughed, “But glad to hear it confirmed by an actual employee.”

“Heart of gold though,” Steve added, “Just incredibly pompous.”

“Wild,” she breathed, “Just so you know James, this officially makes you the most interesting person I’ve met in New York.”

“Working for Stark…makes me the most interesting person you’ve met here?” Steve asked slowly.

“Well yeah,” Olivia shrugged, “I mean not many people can say they’ve met Ironman.”

“You uh…know a lot about him and the…uh the Avengers then?” Steve asked, focusing his attention on his coffee mug.

“Oh okay…no…I am not one of those crazy fan girls with Ironman tattoos or Captain America sweatshirts, or like Thor posters hanging on their walls,” she scoffed, “I mean, mad respect to those guys and gals, that is some real dedication. I don’t really know anything about them though, other than what I saw on the news after the New York attacks. But everyone knows Tony Stark, he’s been around for ages, and he does seem to make a lot of headlines. More than the others anyway.”

“One of those crazy fan girls huh?” Steve laughed, “Didn’t know those existed.”

“You don’t get out much do you?” Olivia asked.

“You could say that,” Steve said, “Do people really get Ironman tattoos?”

“Oh yeah totally, right on their chests,” Olivia said laughing, as she pointed to the spot on her chest where Tony’s arc reactor would go.

“I bet Tony would love that,” Steve said, shaking his head.

“Wow, you’re on a first name basis with him? That’s impressive, you must be super important,” Olivia said raising her eyebrows at him.

“No, no,” Steve said throwing his hands up, “I mean…I’ve met him, sure, but only onceish. I’m not important…he wouldn’t know me if he saw me….um probably.”

“Uh huh,” Olivia nodded, obviously unconvinced.

Steve adjusted in his chair uneasily. He needed a distraction, something to move their conversation past his work with Tony Stark. He jumped at the sound of his phone ringing in his pocket and quickly pulled it out. The letters TS were flashing across the screen and let out a laugh.

“I have to take this,” he said, standing.

“No worries,” Olivia said, propping her laptop back up.

He waited until he was outside, then slid open his phone.

“Are your ears burning?” Steve asked.

“Wow,” Tony replied, “Steve, I am flattered, really I am, but you have to stop bringing me up in casual conversation. The obsession has maybe gone a little far no? I mean I am taken.”

“What do you want Tony?” Steve asked, chuckling lightly.

“I been thinking now might be a good time for another one of our little parties,” Tony said.

“What’d you find?” Steve asked.

“Another base, down in Belize,” Tony replied.

“Boy, they really do have bases everywhere don’t they?” Steve sighed.

“Well it wouldn’t be a super evil organization if they didn’t Steven,” Tony drawled.

“When are we leaving?” Steve asked.

“I mean, as soon as the gangs all here,” Tony said.

“Alright, give me like…ten and I’ll be on my way,” Steve said, glancing through the window at Olivia.

“Ten? What, you’re not gonna drop everything and come running, like usual?” Tony piqued.

“I’m sort of in the middle of something Stark,” Steve grumbled.

“Ooh a hot date I bet,” said Tony excitedly, “Tell me all about it Stevie.”

“Okay bye Tony, I’ll see you soon,” Steve said pulling the phone from his ear.

“Wait is she cute!” he heard Tony say before he ended the call.

He sighed as he put his phone back in his pocket. Tony had grown on him since their first meeting, in much the same way that his father Howard had. Tony was different from Howard though, there was a vulnerability in him bled out of the cracks in the wall he had so skillfully built. Steve knew it, the rest of the team knew it, Tony probably even knew it, but no one dared say anything about it.

Steve made his way back into the coffee shop. Olivia smiled at him as he took his seat across from her again.

“Sorry about that,” he said waving his phone before shoving it back in his pocket, “It was a…uh…work thing actually.”

“Ooh was it _the_ Tony Stark?” she asked playfully.

“Funny,” Steve said, dodging her questions, “Anyway, it seems that something has come up and I’m needed at the office.”

“So you are important,” she pressed.

“It would certainly seem that way,” he replied, “Honestly it’s probably something they could figure out without me, but I don’t get paid the big bucks to let them try.”

Olivia laughed, shaking her head at him. Steve liked her, she was bright and easy to talk to, and it didn’t hurt that she laughed at his lame jokes. She seemed to genuinely enjoy his company, not as Captain America, but as Steve…or James.

“I’m just joking,” he said, “I don’t make the big bucks.”

“Well of course not,” she said, “You live in Brooklyn.”

“Hey now,” Steve laughed, “Brooklyn is expensive, way more than it was.”

“Back in your day,” she nodded, “Yeah I get it, old man.”

“Liv,” he smiled, “It was a pleasure meeting you, it’s nice to know that I have at least one decent neighbor.”

“It was nice meeting you too James,” she said, grinning broadly, “I’ll see you around.”

“See you around,” he nodded.

He stood and grabbed his things, making his way toward the door. Steve paused at the doorway, he wanted to see her again. She was light and made him laugh, and for the brief time they spent together, she made him think of something other than avenging the world. He also knew that seeing her again was risky. The more time they spent together the more opportunity she had to figure out who he really was and the more chances she had to realize he had lied to her. He couldn’t help it though, he had made a connection, something he thought was impossible. He just wanted to spend time with her. Plus, he knew that if Nat found out that he hadn’t asked for this girls’ number she would never let him hear the end of it.

When he turned back around, she was watching him. She smiled as he walked back over to her table.

“Forget something?” she asked.

“I did,” he nodded, “I um, well…I was thinking that since you basically just moved here, you might want someone to, I don’t know…have around.”

“Well, I’ve got my Russian boss remember,” she said.

“Right,” he said with an awkward laugh.

“It’s a joke James,” she said pulling his pen from his hand.

She grabbed a clean napkin and scribbled on it, then looked up at him.

“It would be really nice to have a friend in the city,” she said pressing his pen and the napkin into his hand.

“A friend,” Steve nodded, “Exactly,” he smiled.

He folded the napkin and slipped it in his sketchbook. She winked at him before turning back to her computer. Steve smiled to himself and left her to the rest of her day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started this fic because my other one, Guiding Light, kind of got away from me. It went in directions I hadn't planned, and I really wanted to explore some of my original ideas. There will be similarities between the two, but I'll try and keep them minimal. I will be finishing Guiding Light, but I'm excited to start fresh and to really take my time with this.


	2. Your Very Strange and Very Confusing Love Life

“Steve…Steve…Steve…Steven.”

Tony’s voice rang in Steve’s ear, but he was doing everything he could to ignore it. It wasn’t that he was explicitly avoiding Tony’s question, although technically he kind of was. But he was also just a little preoccupied with taking out some HYDRA cronies, and Tony’s question was A) Not important and B) Not appropriate conversation for their current situation.

“I’m feeling very unheard Rogers,” Tony’s voice came again, followed by a loud blast, "Remember, as team Captain it's your job to make sure your team feels heard."

“Definitely heard you Tony,” Steve grunted, “Just…you know…fighting a dozen or so HYDRA agents right now.”

He threw his shield hard at a group of them, successfully knocking them out.

“I dunno Steve,” chirped Natasha, “I kinda feel like you should answer him.”

“If only to get him to shut up for a minute,” said Clint.

“Or,” Steve said, catching his shield with ease, “We could just focus on the mission.”

He slammed his shield into an agent who had tried to sneak up behind him. An arrow flew past him and into the shoulder of a different agent who had been running towards him.

“Thanks,” Steve said, looking up into a tree.

“No problem Cap,” Clint winked.

“You know you can’t stay in that tree the entire time, Hawkboy,” Tony said whizzing by them, “You have to come down and join the fight eventually.”

“Oh like you in you metal suit of armor?” Clint laughed, firing off more arrows in different directions.

"I'm _fighting_ ," Tony scoffed.

“He’s right Hawkeye!” boomed Thor, “Come down and enjoy the battle!”

“I like the view from up here,” he said firing an arrow into the group of men charging Thor.

Thor laughed loudly as the arrow exploded, causing the men to go flying. Thor whipped his hammer around and flew off, focusing his sights on the giant machine guns, coming up from the ground.

“Anyway, back to Cap’s love life,” said Tony.

“Back to finding a way into this base,” Steve corrected.

“Yeah, yeah,” Tony said, “I’m working on it.”

“Any sign of the scepter?” asked Thor.

“No, it isn’t here,” Tony replied, “But there is a very large stash of some super interesting looking weapons. Chitauri stuff by the looks of it. What do you say Banner? You wanna play around?”

“Tony…no, I don’t think we should be messing with that stuff,” came Bruce’s voice from the jet.

“Oh c’mon,” said Tony.

“Stark, focus,” Steve said sharply into his comm.

“Sorry Cap, focusing,” said Tony, “So when do we get to meet the girl?”

“Not exactly what I meant,” Steve said kicking an agent in the chest.

Natasha grinned at him from across the way, then swiftly turned around firing her gun at two men who had tried to charge her.

“C’mon Cap, you gotta bring her home to meet the family sometime,” Tony teased.

“Tony,” Steve started.

“Oop, no time for that, shields are down,” Tony said quickly, “Thor, you ready to take it.”

“I always am,” Thor said revving up his hammer.

Getting inside was the hard part. Once they were in, they just had to take out whoever was running the base, if there even was someone running it, clean up and get out. Steve hated using Bruce, mostly because Bruce hated using Bruce…or Hulk. Sometimes, Hulk was just the right guy to finish the job outside, while the others finished the job inside. But Cap didn’t see the need this time, as long as Tony could focus up for long enough

“Tony, can we get a little help down here?” Steve asked, as he threw his back and the man on it up against a tree.

“Can we meet the girl?” Tony quipped.

“I swear to God Stark if you don’t get down here,” Natasha growled, fighting off three men at once.

“See, now I’m afraid of her,” Tony said swooping in.

“Thank you,” Natasha smirked.

* * *

Back on the jet, Steve surveyed his team. Everyone had survived with significantly less damage than usual, and what’s more, they managed to knock out another HYDRA base. Thor had his arm up, leaned against a wall of the jet. He was staring out the window, his brow furrowed.

“Were going to find it Thor,” Steve said, placing a hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“I know we will,” Thor nodded, “It just would have been nice to find it this time.”

“Sure,” Tony said from the front, “But then our special little play dates would come to an end.”

“Too true Stark,” Thro grinned, “Too true.”

“Remind me how that would be bad?” Clint said, wincing as Natasha cleaned a cut on his cheek.

“Well I for one enjoy our little rendezvous,” said Tony.

“At least one of us does, because it looks like we’ll be having at least a couple more,” Bruce said at the table in the back of the jet.

Steve made his way over to Bruce. He was leaned over his computer screen, going through files they had retrieved from their recent conquest. Sure enough there were multiple correspondences with various other locations. Steve narrowed his eyes at the screen, trying to make sense of what he was seeing.

“Can we get exact coordinates from these?” asked Steve.

“I’m sure Tony can,” Bruce nodded.

“Because Tony can do anything,” Tony said cheerily.

“I mean, I’m sure Tony can use JARVIS to find the coordinates,” Bruce said with a small unassuming smile.

“Because JARVIS can do anything,” Steve said, winking at Bruce.

“I heard that Rogers,” said Tony, “And for that, I’m bringing everyone’s attention back to your very strange and very confusing love life.”

“Tony,” Steve sighed throwing his head back.

“Actually, I think that might lift everyone’s spirits a bit,” Natasha said.

She threw herself into a seat across from Clint and propped her legs up on his lap. Steve watched as the rest of the team turned their attention towards him. They had been asking about Olivia since he’d met her right before their jaunt in Belize. Usually he could keep their questions at bay, because usually he needed them to focus on the mission at hand. But as time went on and overtaking HYDRA bases became easier for his team, they often turned back to questioning him.

The truth was, he didn’t know what to tell them. It had been about a month since he’d started spending time with his oddball neighbor. She made him laugh and for reasons far beyond his comprehension, he made her laugh. He also didn’t mind her constant talking. I meant he had to talk less…and lie less. He really didn’t want to get into the fact that he still hadn’t told her who he was with his teammates.

“First of all,” he said, “Olivia is a friend and nothing more.”

“Olivia! We have a name folks!” Tony said pumping his fist in the air.

“Olivia,” Thor said with a nod, “Strong name.”

“Riddle me this Cap,” said Clint, “If she’s a ‘friend and nothing more’ then why do you get that dorky grin on your face when you’re reading a text from her?”

“She’s funny,” Steve shrugged.

“Can we meet her?” asked Tony.

“No, absolutely not,” Steve said firmly.

“Okay well this just isn’t fair because you’ve met our significant others, for those of us who have them anyway,” Tony said crossing his arms over his chest.

“I have never met Jane,” Steve said gesturing towards Thor, “And Olivia is not a significant other.”

“Well Jane is a very busy woman,” Thor laughed.

“Look, Steve,” Tony said turning serious, “Pepper and I are throwing a launch party for some new Stark tech…I don’t know the details. I think you should bring this girl, even if you are just friends.”

“Wait I didn’t get an invite!” Clint protested.

“That’s because you annoy him dear,” Natasha smirked.

“It’s true,” Tony pointed at Natasha and nodded in agreement with her, “Back to you Cap.”

“I just…can’t Tony,” Steve said rubbing the back of his neck.

“You worried about us embarrassing you Rogers?” asked Natasha.

“We’ll be on our best behavior, and hey Clint won’t even be there!” Tony exclaimed.

“She doesn’t know who I am,” Steve said quickly.

He glanced around awkwardly at the looks of pure confusion coming from everyone on the jet. He sighed looking up at the ceiling.

“Run that by me again?” Tony said.

“Run that by all of us again,” Bruce added.

“We’ll,” he said, “She recognized me at a coffee shop, not as Captain America, but as her neighbor. It was different and refreshing and also a huge relief and so I kind of just…never really told her.”

“She didn’t recognize those baby blues you’re so famous for?” Tony asked, squinting his eyes in disbelief.

“No Stark,” said Thor, “This is understandable.”

“What?” Tony said turning to Thor.

“I don’t get recognized in public, almost ever,” Natasha shrugged.

“I never get recognized,” Bruce added.

“No, me either,” said Clint.

“I do all the time,” Thor beamed, “But I am a god.”

“And you were…uh…pretty consistently in the news before any of this,” Bruce pointed out.

Tony glanced around at them, his eyes full of confusion. Steve held back a laugh, clearly Tony hadn't realized that not all of them were as famous as he. Of course they had all been seen on the news during the battle of New York. Additionally, since he and Natasha had leaked all of SHIELD and HYDRA's info, pretty much anything wanted to know about them was online. Not everyone was super interested in The Avengers though. In fact a lot of people were pretty anti-Avengers, and most people were just indifferent. 

Tony clicked his tongue, bringing Steve's attention back. He looked huffy and like he had been thinking hard for a comeback. Again Steve had to hold back a bout of laughter.

“But he’s Captain America! A national treasure!” Tony said throwing his hands out towards Steve.

“Thanks Tony, I didn’t know you felt that way,” Steve chuckled.

“Shut up Rogers,” Tony said shaking his head, "You have a damn exhibit at the Smithsonian remember?" 

“Had, actually, they took it down pretty quickly after my little incident with SHIELD Headquarters," Steve corrected. "Besides, people recognize the suit and shield Tony,” said Steve, “I mean I do get a lot of stares when I’m in the city, but my face is a little more well known there. And Olivia just moved to the Brooklyn.”

“It checks out,” Bruce nodded.

“What doesn’t check out is why you just didn’t tell her,” Natasha said.

“Yeah,” Clint nodded, “And what do you say when you do get recognized on the street?”

“Or when she walks into your apartment and sees all of those old war photos of you and Barnes?” Tony pressed.

“Alright first of all it’s one picture,” Steve said, “And second, she’s never been into my apartment. We spend most of our time at her place or in Brooklyn.”

“Okay, okay,” Tony said, “But she...I mean, it didn’t even occur to her that you, a blonde-haired blue-eyed man, living in New York, with the same name as Captain America, could possibly, actually be Captain America?”

“Uh, no, I guess she didn’t,” Steve said with an uneasy laugh.

Natasha stood; her eyes narrowed at him. He had been caught. Natasha was good, but it helped that he was a pretty bad liar when put on the spot. He was actually surprised at how long he'd been able to keep up the charade with Olivia. 

Natasha moved towards him slowly. He backed up slightly, right into the table Bruce had been working at. Bruce held it steady as everything threatened to fall off, which would have forced him to start over. Steve gulped as Natasha stood right underneath him. She was small...but Steve would have preferred to go up against any of his teammates over Nat, except maybe the Hulk.

“What did you do Rogers?” she asked.

“What do you mean?” Steve asked, avoiding meeting her eyes.

“Tony’s right, that doesn’t make sense,” she said, ignoring the surprised gasp that came from Tony. “And you’re fidgety…like you’re hiding something…which I must say, is very unlike you.”

“Alright,” Steve said brushing his hair back, “I didn’t exactly give her _my_ name.”

“Oh Steve,” Natasha said shaking her head.

“Out of sheer curiosity,” Tony quipped, “What name did you give her?”

“James,” Steve mumbled.

“No,” Tony said in an excited whisper. His eyes widened to a size Steve didn't think was possible.

Natasha placed her hand over her mouth, shaking her head softly. Clint burst out into a fit of laughter, which was cut short by Natasha’s hand to the back of his head.

“Forgive me,” Thor said slowly, “But isn’t that the name of your dead best friend who is actually alive and tried to kill you and Natasha and many others not so long ago?”

“Don’t forget the part about him being a secret agent for the super evil organization that we’re working hard to take out right now,” Tony added.

“A brainwashed secret agent.” Steve corrected, “And it was the first name to come my mind,” he added with a groan.

“Well you’re in deep shit Steven,” Tony said, “You’ve been lying to her for what…a month now?”

“About,” Steve nodded.

Natasha placed her hand gently on Steve's arm. She gave him a sad sort of smile that Steve did not care for at all, but he knew she meant well. 

“You have to tell her Steve,” said Natasha.

“I know,” Steve nodded, “No, I know…it’s just been…easy. And if she knows who I really am then it becomes a lot less easy, in fact it becomes...”

“100% more difficult,” Tony chimed in, “Yeah we know. Maybe Olivia and Pep can start an ‘I’m dating an Avenger Support Group’.”

“Oh good, I’ll tell Jane,” Thor added, "Although, as I've previously stated, she is very busy, so she probably wouldn't attend."

"I mean...Pepper is very busy too, she runs an entire company," Tony said with a laugh.

Thor started to say something, but Steve cut him off. He was sure he wasn't the only person on the Quinjet that didn't need or want to hear the two of them go at it again about their girlfriends.

“We’re not dating Tony,” Steve corrected.

“Right, okay, whatever,” Tony said, “Point is Cap…you gotta tell her the truth. And I’m not saying that as someone who has always chosen honesty or because I’m some sort of stand-up guy. I’m saying it because you are that guy, and this isn’t like you.”

“I will,” Steve sighed, “I am going to.”

“And then once you tell her, we can meet her,” Clint beamed up at Steve.

“Yeah…no…that’s not happening,” Steve laughed.

“We’ll see about that,” Natasha smirked.

“We sure will,” Tony grinned, "What's her last name again?" Tony asked pulling out his phone.

"No..Tony...don't," Steve warned, "I didn't give you a last name for a reason."

"Oop, found her," Tony said with a sly smile, "Olivia Harrington, oh she's adorable! A little young don't you think?"

"Well everyone's young for him," Clint joked as he hopped up to stand behind Tony.

"Thanks Clint," Steve said shaking his head.

He watched as all of them surrounded Tony and his phone. Steve laughed to himself as the all chattered about. He was livid with Tony and his team, and yet he also felt an overwhelming sense of appreciation towards them. They may have been sticking their noses in where they shouldn't be, but they were doing it because they cared.

"I like her," Natasha said, "I think you should date her for real."

"Okay well, that's not really up to you...or even me really," Steve said snatching Tony's phone from his hand.

"Give it back," Tony said putting his palm out.

"Maybe later," Steve winked, "Now let's get back to HYDRA," he added leaning over the computer, "I'm sure the scepter is at one of these bases, and that is our endgame isn't it Stark?"

"It just might be," Tony nodded, narrowing his eyes at Steve.

"Then let's get on it," Steve said, gesturing with a flick of his head for Tony to join him.

"Yessir Cap," Tony grinned. 

Tony moved to stand behind Steve, Thor following suit. Bruce hopped to the front of the jet. Sitting in one of the chairs, he began monitoring the control panel, still allowing the jet to continue on autopilot. Clint sat back down in one of the chairs and started working on cleaning his bow, while Nat sat too, propping her legs up on him again. 

"Let me know when we're home," Natasha said, leaning her head back and closing her eyes.

"Sure thing," Steve smiled. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had some fun with the entire team this time! Hope you all enjoyed it! Next chapter will be from Olivia's perspective so that we can get to know her a little better. Thanks for reading! Comments are always greatly appreciated!!! :)
> 
> P.S. Sorry I suck at writing chapter endings...it's something I'm still working on!


	3. See You Around Olive

Monday

Olivia wasn’t pouting per se, but she was definitely in a mood. She thanked the barista behind the counter and took her iced latte, dropping a couple of dollars in the tip jar. It was a chilly day, but Olivia almost exclusively drank iced coffee, she always had. On the subway, she checked her phone for what had to be the fifteenth time in half an hour. She sighed seeing nothing more than a text from her boss, Alexi, letting her know she’d be on her own.

The last time she had seen James, they had been sitting on her couch, watching a movie, when his phone rang and after a very hushed conversation in the hallway, he said he’d had to leave. That was also the last time she’d heard from him and it had been just over a week. There had been no sign of him around the apartment complex either, not that she had been watching or anything.

This wasn’t the first time he’d gone MIA on her. It was usually only a day or two, and then he’d show up at her door, apologetic and holding a pizza or Chinese take-out. This time, after the fourth day of radio silence, Olivia sent out a short text, telling him he was off the hook, he didn’t have to apologize or anything, and that she hoped he had a great life.

She fully realized that she had no right to be so annoyed with him. Their friendship was still so new, and they weren’t dating, so in reality, he didn’t owe her anything. Still, she had grown accustom to his presence on her couch for movies and dinners. She’d become used to strolling around Brooklyn with him looking for new places to eat. He made her laugh and when she was with him, she didn’t feel like moving to New York was a total waste.

By the time she reached the bookstore, her coffee was long gone, and she’d checked her phone at least a dozen more times. Still nothing. She unlocked the shop, threw her empty cup in the trashcan, then proceeded with the opening procedures. Olivia had never had any problems working alone at the bookstore. The truth was that the store never saw much foot traffic. Olivia had been semi-convinced that her eccentric boss was actually using it as a front to cover whatever business he was actually running.

She was standing behind the counter, editing an ad she was working on for the shop, when the door jingled open. It wasn’t uncommon for people to pop in for a brief moment while on their way to somewhere else, so she hardly bothered to look up as she called out, “Welcome”, to whoever had just walked in.

“Could I uh…get some help?” the customer asked.

Olivia’s head snapped up from her computer. In her entire six months of working at the little store, no one had asked her for help. When she first started, she’d gone out of her way to help anyone who did happen to walk in, but that usually made the customers leave quicker. She’d become used to silently waiting behind the counter, offering a greeting and very occasionally ringing someone up.

The customer was a young man. He was tall and lean, with dirty blonde hair that was wispy and unkempt. He removed his sunglasses and hooked them onto the front his shirt. His eyes were bright blue, he watched her with a playful smile across his lips. Olivia noticed a hearing aid in each of his ears as he walked towards her.

“Oh, yeah, of course,” she said snapping her computer shut, “What can I help you with?”

“Yeah, uh, I’m looking for a book on…uh…dogs,” he said biting his lip and shaking his head slightly, “Do you have any books on dogs?”

Olivia laughed and nodded, stepping out from behind the counter.

“I think we can find something,” she nodded, “Like training or just in general?”

“Oh, just whatever you have,” he said. When she turned to raise an eyebrow at him, he let out a small cough and said, “I mean training, definitely training.”

“Okay,” she said leading him past a few bookshelves.

“So…you don’t have a name tag,” he said trailing behind her.

“You’re observant,” Olivia said, turning to give him a smirk. “We just don’t usually get many customers to be honest. And rarely any who actually ask for help,” she added.

“Can’t imagine why,” he said with a hint of sarcasm.

Olivia stopped and turned to face him. Her hip popped out and her hand flew up to it, her head cocking to one side.

“And what is that supposed to mean?” she asked.

“Oh nothing, no, nothing,” he laughed uncomfortably, “It’s just a little shop and in such a hidden location. Not to mention there are about one million bookstores in the city.”

“Alright well you didn’t hear this from me, but I’m pretty sure my boss is using this as front for something super illegal anyway,” she said to him.

His mouth dropped open as he stared at her, dumbfounded. Then his eyes darted around the bookstore and Olivia began to laugh. He looked down at her, confused.

“It’s a joke,” she said, “You should have seen your face.”

A large grin broke out across his face and he barked a laugh.

“Alright, you’re funny,” he nodded.

“Olivia,” she said putting a hand out for him to shake.

“I’m Clint,” he said shaking it.

“Dog books, let’s go,” she said gesturing with a nod of her head for him to follow.

Their selection was admittedly pretty bleak, but she noticed he hardly looked at the books before grabbing one. He held it up to her, smiling gratefully, then broke off to browse their other sections. Olivia headed back to her post, looking up every now and then to make sure he still didn’t need any help. When he finished, he came up to the counter and set the training book in front of her.

“And did you find everything you were looking for?” she asked in her best customer service voice.

“I did,” he nodded, “A lovely young woman helped me out. To be honest though, you might want to talk to her about her comedy. She’s funny, but I think she could do better.”

“Oh, okay got it,” Olivia nodded, “I’ll let her know.”

He grinned and slid her a twenty-dollar bill, and she rung him up.

“Thank you,” she said with a small smile, “I needed a laugh today.”

“Oh?” he asked taking his change. “Boy troubles?”

“Something like that,” she said with a nod.

His eyes widened and he let out an uncomfortable cough.

“I-I…I’m sure it’ll be fine,” he stammered, “Whatever it is…you know…men are dumb. But uh, I’m sure whatever it is, if he lied to you or something…”

“Whoa calm down there, friend,” Olivia said with a laugh, “He didn’t lie…just stopped talking to me. And it doesn't even matter because really we were just friends," she rambled. "Besides I wasn’t asking you for advice or anything, just appreciating a laugh after rough week.”

“He stopped talking to you?” Clint asked, tilting his head in confusion.

“Uh…yeah,” Olivia said slowly.

“That’s weird,” he mumbled to himself.

“I’m sorry…what?” Olivia asked.

“Oh…I just mean, what I mean is,” Clint laughed awkwardly, “You seem like a very personable girl…person…friendly. I just think it’s weird that someone…anyone really, would just stop talking to you.”

“Uh huh,” she nodded, sliding him his book.

“Welp,” he said, “See you around! I mean…no…that’s not what, we probably won’t see each other again, big city and all.”

Olivia gave him a tight smile and a small wave as she watched him stumble out of the bookstore. He stood in front of the window and immediately pulled out his phone. When he realized that he was still in her line of sight, he smiled awkwardly and ran off.

* * *

Wednesday 

The rest of Olivia’s Monday and her Tuesday as well, had come and gone without anymore strange encounters. She had almost gotten over her bizarre interaction with whoever Clint was, when the bell on the bookstore door jingled again. This time she popped her head up immediately, not wanting to be caught off guard.

A young woman stood before her. Her hair was deep red and curled lightly around her shoulders. She had blue eyes and full lips, that smirked slightly at Olivia. There was something familiar about her, but Olivia couldn’t pinpoint it, and after spending a bit of time in New York city, a hot bed for celebrity sightings, she was beyond trying to figure out why faces looked familiar.

“Welcome,” Olivia said with a bright smile. The woman didn’t move, so Olivia added, “Can I help you find anything today?”

“Maybe,” the woman nodded, “I’m travelling soon, could use a good book.”

“Well it’s lucky you came to a bookstore then,” said Olivia.

The women’s smirk broadened. She tilted her head and observed Olivia for a few moments. Olivia became uncomfortable under her gaze, but she didn’t look away. Something in her told her that if she looked away, this woman would think her weak.

“I’m Olivia,” she said finally, “I’m the only one here, so if you do decide you need anything, let me know.”

“Natalie,” the women said with a smile, “And I like you Olivia, give me a recommendation.”

Olivia returned her smile, trying her best to hide her shock at Natalie’s response. She came out from behind the counter and began to lead the woman to her favorite book. It didn’t take her long to find it, she knew exactly where it was. When she found it, she pulled it out and handed it to Natalie.

“War and Peace,” Natalie said, raising an eyebrow, “You like Tolstoy? Have you read Anna Karenina?”

Olivia was struck by the way Natalie spoke about the book. She said the author’s name and Anna Karenina with perfect Russian pronunciation. Olivia knew because she’d heard Alexi talk about Tolstoy many times before. He was the reason she’d picked him up in the first place.

“Yes,” Olivia nodded.

“It's great, but I hate to break it to you Olivia,” she said handing back the book, “I’ve read this one, many times.”

“Well,” Olivia said placing the book back on the shelf, then pulling out another, “Then I’ll give you this one. It’s my second favorite book.”

“The Great Gatsby,” Natalie nodded, “I haven’t read this one, but I know it. Isn’t it about a man pining for a woman her can never have?”

“Among other things,” Olivia laughed, “There’s something very tragic about the whole thing and I don’t know, it’s just always stuck with me.”

“Well, I will give it a shot, maybe pass it along to some others,” she said holding onto, “And you know what I’ll take the Tolstoy too,” she added grabbing War and Peace from the shelf.

Olivia walked her back to the front and began to ring up her books. Natalie was idly spinning the bookmark display.

“Men are idiots you know,” she said flatly. “Just thinking back to our short conversation about good old Gatsby there,” she added when Olivia raised an eyebrow at her.

“Oh, I know,” Olivia said with a nod.

“I mean really, it’s like they need women to…hold their hands and guide them through life,” Natalie said with a laugh.

“They really do, don’t they,” Olivia agreed.

“There are decent ones though,” Natalie said, “Even still, the decent ones are bound to mess time and again.”

“Well yeah, but how do you know when you’ve even found a good one?” Olivia asked rhetorically.

“Good point,” Natalie sighed, “But I don’t know, I think it’s in the eyes. Something in their eyes that tell you he’s a good one…if not a little stupid.”

Olivia thought of James’ eyes. They were good, kind, eyes and every smile, every laugh, traveled up into his eyes. She shook her head remembering how stupid he was. When she turned her attention back to Natalie, Natalie was watching her intently.

“Thinking of some good eyes?” Natalie smirked.

“No,” Olivia scoffed, “I’ll let you know when I find some though.”

“Well,” Natalie shrugged, “don’t forget that most men need to have their hands held through the messy things.”

“I’m just one woman,” Olivia smiled, “I can only do so much.”

“It was nice meeting you Olivia,” Natalie beamed.

She handed Natalie her books and her change with a bright smile. She liked Natalie; she was also incredibly intimidated by her.

“Call me Liv,” said Olivia, “Nice meeting you too Natalie.”

“Nat,” Natalie corrected, “Friends call me Nat.”

* * *

Thursday

Olivia was sure that her week couldn’t get any weirder. Natalie hadn’t been nearly as strange as Clint, but there was something about their interaction that had left Olivia reeling with a thousand different thoughts and quite a few questions.

The bell on the door jingled and Olivia almost groaned. Then she remembered that as bizarre as this week had been, it was the most business they’d had in months, and so she turned towards the door and smiled instead.

A young African American man stood at the door. He was handsome and incredibly friendly looking. His brown eyes were warm and welcoming. He was smiling and walking over to her before she could even welcome him.

“Hi,” he said putting his hand out for her to shake, “I’m Sam.”

Olivia took his hand and shook it. If his smile hadn’t been so warm and inviting, she would have been skeptical of his enthusiasm.

“Um…hi, welcome,” she said slowly, “I’m Olivia, can I help you find anything?”

“Nope,” he said shaking his head, “I’m just going to browse, also, here, I have an extra coffee.”

He said placing an iced coffee on her counter. He sipped from the one still in his hand. She shook her head, slightly overwhelmed by him.

“Do I know you?” she asked.

“Nope,” he said grinning, “I mean now you do. Please, take it,” he said nudging the coffee towards her.

He pulled off the paper wrapping on top of the straw and wiggled his eyebrows at her.

“How do I know you didn’t poison this and are waiting for me to keel over so that you can rob this bookstore?” Olivia asked leaning over her counter.

He leaned in too so that their faces were inches apart and grinned broadly at her.

“Olivia…can I call you Liv?” he asked.

“No,” she said shaking her head.

“Fine,” he sighed, “Olivia, do I look like the kind of guy who would poison a nice young lady like yourself and rob an adorable little bookstore like this one?”

“I don’t know,” Olivia said shaking her head, “Murderers come in all shapes and sizes.”

“You’re hilarious,” he said, “Look,” he said popping off the plastic lid and taking a sip of the coffee, “Now you know that if I did poison it, at the very least I’ll be going down with you.”

Olivia shrugged and nodded. He had a point, plus, she was a sucker for coffee, even more if it was over ice. She secured the lid back on and started sipping. He winked and turned to browse her store. When he came back he placed the first two Harry Potter books on the counter.

“So,” he said, “How was it? Feeling the poison yet?”

“Very funny,” she said with a laugh. “Interesting choice,” she said taking his books.

“Well…I hear they’re good,” he shrugged.

“You mean you haven’t read the most popular book series of our generation?” she asked him, with a raised eyebrow.

“Nah, I was busy,” he said.

“Well I think you’ll enjoy them, they are quite fun,” she smiled.

“Alright Liv, well I’ll let you know what I think,” he said, “You know, when I come back for the rest.”

“I think I specifically said you couldn’t call me Liv,” Olivia said to him with a smirk.

“Oh, you did,” he nodded, “But I brought you coffee, so I kinda feel like we’re friends now.”

“I knew this coffee was going to come back to bite me in the ass,” she laughed.

“See you around Liv,” he said cheering her iced coffee cup with his.

* * *

Friday

Olivia wasn’t even surprised when the door jingled, and a new customer walked in. Apparently she was doing something right with advertising. That, or a group of criminals were casing the place and they were about to be massively robbed.

The young man who had entered the bookstore didn’t stop to talk to Olivia, he didn’t acknowledge her when she welcomed him. Instead he breezed past her and began browsing in the shelves. He was tall and his broad shoulders were hunched over underneath a dark blue hoodie. He was wearing a baseball cap, but she could see his dark, shoulder length hair coming out from beneath it.

If anyone was going to rob the bookstore, it was going to be this guy. She watched him as he silently browsed the books and saw him glance at her a few times, although she still couldn’t quite make out his face under the baseball cap.

She saw him make his way to the counter and she closed her computer, ready to help. He placed two black, leather bound journals in front of her, keeping his head down.

“Did you find everything alright?” she asked.

“Yep,” he said with a curt nod.

She waited patiently as he fumbled with some cash, noticing his gloved hands. It wasn’t a particularly cold day, so it immediately struck her as odd. She smiled at him as she took his money, not that he would have noticed since he still refused to look up at her.

“Come again,” she said sliding his change towards him.

He nodded and grabbed his things and left. A chill ran through her and she shivered unwittingly. She looked down and groaned. Somehow, he had only grabbed one of his journals. So, she snatched up the second one and ran out after him. A wave of relief hit her seeing that he wasn’t too far away.

“Hey!” she called out to him.

He froze and she could see his body tense. She ran towards him, clutching the journal in her hand still. She paused when she finally reached him, he still hadn’t turned around.

“Hey,” she said again, placing her hand on the back of his shoulder.

At that he spun around and for the first time she saw his face. Her head exploded in pain as her eyes met his icy blue ones.

“What?” he asked sharply.

“I…uh,” she stammered, clutching her head, “You forgot this.”

She held out the journal towards him. The pain in her head was so bad that her vision was becoming clouded with bright splotches of light.

“Oh..um..thanks,” he said taking it from her, “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” she nodded, "I just...might pass out, but I'm great."

Olivia felt herself falter and steadied herself against the only solid thing she could find, him. The next thing she knew she was in the young man’s arms. She would have been more embarrassed if she also wasn’t focusing so hard on not throwing up all over a complete stranger. He brought her back to the store and set her down on the floor behind the counter. She was vaguely aware of the fact that his face was close to hers and that perhaps he had a hand pressed against her cheek, but her vision was almost completely gone, and she was struggling to stay conscience.

“I’m sorry,” she heard him say softly in her ear.

“What?” she mumbled.

When she woke again, Alexi was sitting on a stool at the counter. He turned as she stirred and smiled down at her.

“Good morning _M_ _alyshka,_ ” he said in his thick Russian accent, “You’ve had quite the day, have you not?”

“Uh…yeah, I just…I had this splitting headache and I um...thought I'd lay down for a second and I must have just knocked out,” Olivia said shaking her head lightly.

She purposefully left out the part where she was carried back into the bookstore by some random guy. Alexi tended to be overprotective of Olivia, viewing her as a niece. 

“Go home, sleep, I will see you Monday,” he said with a wave of his hand.

“I have a shift tomorrow Alexi,” Olivia said as she stood slowly.

“Well yes, but maybe I come in instead,” he said with a shrug, “It is my bookstore, maybe I work in it sometime.”

“I’ll be in at my regular time,” she laughed, “I need the money and you need to…be off doing whatever it is you do.”

“Alright _Malyshka_ , if you say so,” he chuckled, “Sleep tonight, come tomorrow, work half day, I’ll take Sunday.”

“Fine Alexi,” she sighed, “If you insist.”

“I insist,” he nodded.

“Goodnight,” she said as she left the store.

Olivia knew that he would pay her for Sunday and that he would have paid her for Saturday too. She didn’t have to work everyday of the week, and he was always trying to get her to take days off. Work kept her busy though, and she liked to stay busy. Although, with the weeks’ events, she hoped that the next day would be as uneventful as every other day had been before this crazy week.

* * *

Saturday

Olivia’s migraine had persisted well into the evening. It would ease up, and then she would remember the horrifyingly embarrassing encounter with the man from the bookstore, and try, in vain, to forget it again. Eventually, after a hot cup of tea and an even hotter shower, she was able to sleep.

Much to her pleasure and surprise, her workday had persisted without anything unusual. She still hadn’t received any communication from James, which when she really stopped to think about it infuriated her beyond reason, so she tried not to stop and think about it.

She looked up from the book she was reading to check the clock. She let out a sigh of relief. One hour to go and she was off. The door bell jingled and she jumped. She kept her head down, maybe the customer wouldn’t need anything from her. If she kept her eyes locked on her book, perhaps they would pick up what they needed and leave without any incident.

“Hi, welcome,” she said trying not let the disappointment seep out into her voice.

“Well hello,” the customer said cheerily.

Her head snapped up, curious as to why his voice was so familiar. A small gasp escaped her lips as she realized that she knew exactly who this man was. He wasn’t very tall, the television definitely made him look taller, and she could see fine lines at the edge of his dark brown eyes, another thing T.V. magic hid pretty well. She recognized his toothy grin and his goatee, which had basically made it’s own name for itself. Why Tony Stark was in her bookstore was beyond her, nevertheless, there he was, watching her, an overexcited look on his face.

“What the fuck,” she whispered to herself.

Her face went hot at his laughter, realizing that he had for sure heard her small exclamation. He moved forward and placed his arm on her counter, leaning against it.

“Can I…uh…I’m sorry, what can I help you with?” she squeaked.

“I’m looking for an Olivia Harrington,” he said, fiddling with the watch on his wrist.

“Why?” she asked sharply.

“Let’s just say she uh, won a contest,” he said with a wave of his hand, “And she’s invited to a super exclusive party at my place.”

He pulled a navy blue envelope out of his jacket pocket and tapped it’s corner against the counter, then set it down in front of her. She picked it up and examined it carefully. It had her name in gold lettering across the front.

“She didn’t enter any contests,” Olivia said narrowing her eyes at the envelope.

“Well then I’ll just be taking this back then,” he said snatching the invitation from her.

“Wait,” she said quickly, “How do you know my name? And more importantly, how do you know where I work?”

“I know a lot of things Miss Harrington,” he said with a smile, “Do you want this or not?”

“I mean yeah I want it,” she said taking the envelope back, “I would like the answers to my questions, but…”

“But an invitation to an incredibly fancy party with Tony Stark is something you want more?” he asked, winking at her.

“I mean Tony Stark is great, sure,” she said with a small shrug, “But Thor and Captain America are _really_ impressive,” she grinned.

“Alright well they aren’t that great in person, the news cameras make their muscles look bigger than they are,” Tony said rolling his eyes, “Besides, Thor has a girlfriend. Think Cap’s single though.”

Something in the way he looked at her confused the hell out of Olivia and brought up so many more questions. She laughed awkwardly and shook her head at the absurdity of Ironman trying to set her up with Captain America.

“This is too weird,” she said, setting the envelope down.

“Just take the invitation and consider it hm?” he asked.

“I really didn’t enter any contest,” she said shaking her head, “Maybe you have the wrong Olivia Harrington.”

“Oh, trust me,” he grinned, “I don’t. Besides, does Tony Stark ever get it wrong?”

“That’s hilarious,” Olivia said laughing.

She stopped, trying to catch her breath as Tony Stark watched her, very clearly not amused.

“You done?” he asked.

She snorted again, but nodded, holding in the rest of her laughter. He nodded his lips pressed tightly together.

“Alright, I’ll wait…get it all out,” he said.

“No, I’m good, I’m good,” she said breathing in, “I’m sorry I’m good, I promise.”

“Anyway,” Tony Stark started.

“I’m sorry, I just…your ass is always in the news for getting it wrong,” Olivia said, her laughter relapsing.

“I just…saved New York from aliens, but sure,” he said shaking his head slowly.

“No of course,” Olivia nodded, “Of course.”

“Well, your invitation stands, although I am seriously reconsidering it,” he smirked.

“I am incredibly suspicious of this,” she said holding up the invitation, “because it is beyond weird that Tony Stark walked into my workplace to give me an envelope with my name on it claiming I won some fake ‘competition’.”

“Olive, Olive, Olive,” he sighed shaking his head, “Can you not just accept that the one and only Ironman is inviting you to what is sure to be one of the wildest nights of your life and that maybe…just maybe…this will eventually make sense to you?”

Olivia narrowed her eyes at him. She always knew that Tony Stark was a character, he made that plain and clear in every press conference she had ever seen him on. What she had never expected, was to actually see it in person.

“You’re very strange Mr. Stark,” she said to him, “I don’t think anyone has ever called me ‘Olive’,” she added looking down at the invitation.

“Call me Tony, and I like being first,” he said with a wink.

“I’ll think about this,” she said nodding towards the invitation.

“Good choice,” Tony grinned, “See you around Olive.”

She watched him leave and stood staring at the door in disbelief. When Alexi came to relieve her, she grabbed her things and left quietly. Most of the interactions had been relatively normal…and yet Olivia couldn’t help but feel like they were all somehow a part of something bigger. She couldn’t figure out how exactly to process all of them.

Once she was home, she dropped Tony Stark’s invitation on her kitchen table and ran herself a long bubble bath. Then she crawled into bed, thankful to have the next day off. She was reassured in the fact that there wouldn’t be any surprise encounters. At least, that’s what she hoped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed Olivia meeting some of the Avengers without actually meeting the Avengers! And peep that Bucky thooough. They won't meet again for a while, but I added him for a reason :) Don't worry, Steve will be back soon! 
> 
> Thank you guys for reading! I appreciate any and all comments!
> 
> Translation of Malyshka is "Little One"...also "Baby", but that is not the translation that I'm going with :)


	4. Well Yeah, I'm Captain America!

“You did what?”

Steve and Tony stood at opposite ends of the kitchen at Stark towers. Steve was just trying to make a sandwich and get back to his office to get some work done before Tony’s big party. Instead, he had just been informed by Tony, that Olivia would also be attending the party, per Tony’s own personal invite that he himself delivered.

“Losing your hearing there, old man?” Tony asked with a nervous laugh.

“No, Tony, you do not get to make jokes right now,” Steve said in a low uneven voice.

“Yeah Tony, hearing loss is no joke,” Clint said from his seat at the kitchen table, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth.

“You make jokes about hearing loss all the time,” Sam said looking at Clint confused.

Sam had been busy following whatever leads he could on Bucky at Steve’s behest, but so far, all trails came up cold. He had come in for the week to discuss new strategies with Steve and decided to stay through the next one for the party.

“Yeah,” Clint nodded, “but it’s funny when I do it,” he winked.

Natasha, who was sitting in between Sam and Clint, hushed them both with a soft punch to Clint’s arm and then to Sam’s. Steve was still glaring at Tony; Tony was shrinking against the counter behind him by the second.

“Come on Rogers, it’s not that big of deal,” Tony said.

“Tony it’s a huge deal!” Steve snapped, “I haven’t told her who I really am yet!”

“Yeah and he’s been avoiding her,” Clint added.

“I haven’t been avoiding her,” Steve sighed, “Wait…how do you know I’ve been avoiding her?”

Natasha pursed her lips and rolled her eyes at Clint. His eyes widened as he laughed uncomfortably. Sam dropped his head into his hand.

“You’ve been avoiding her? You haven’t been avoiding her,” Clint said in a shrill panic.

“I mean…I haven’t been avoiding her, I just haven’t exactly had the chance to clear things up…but how would you know that?” Steve pressed.

“Seen you around!” Sam said snapping his head up, “He’s just seen you around here and not…you know...out, so he probably just assumed…right Clint?”

“What did you two do?” Steve crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at Sam and Clint.

“Oho!” Tony exclaimed, “Seems like I wasn’t the only one to pay our little Olive a visit last week!”

“Well to be fair,” Natasha sighed, “We at least tried to be a little slicker about it than you Tony. Don’t think Barton managed that as well as we’d hoped though.”

“Natasha you too?” Steve groaned.

“We just wanted to make sure she was good enough for our boy,” Sam said grinning, “I gotta say, I like her.”

“Me too,” Natasha agreed.

“I dunno,” Clint said with a shake of his head, “She’s too perceptive.”

“No,” said Natasha, “You’re just an idiot.”

“I mean I couldn’t really be slick about it could I?” Tony scoffed, “She recognized me the minute she saw me.”

“Enough,” Steve said firmly, “I don’t need anyone telling me who is good enough or who isn’t, especially considering we aren’t even dating. And Tony, did you even stop to think about how this is going to affect her?”

“I think she can handle it Steve,” Tony shrugged.

“You met her for what, five minutes?” Steve barked.

Tony weighed his hands back and forth, letting out a high pitched “ehhh” as he did so. A sharp, angry laugh escaped Steve’s lips and Tony jumped in surprise.

“What exactly does that mean Tony?” he asked.

“Now look Steve,” Tony said putting his hands up defensively, “She responded to the invite with a resounding ‘no’ day after I left it and I really just couldn’t have that.”

“And?” Steve asked.

“And…I may have popped into her store a few times since then,” Tony admitted, “also Pep and I took her to dinner last night.”

Steve didn’t fully realize that he had lunged towards Tony until he was being held back by Sam and Clint. Tony was cowering up against the counter behind him. Natasha stood in front of Steve, smiling reassuringly. She patted his chest gently as Sam and Clint struggled to keep hold of him.

“Steve,” she said calmly, “We love you; we want the best for you. Admittedly Tony may have gone too far, but he did it because he cares.”

Steve nodded, taking in a large breath and letting it out slowly. As he glanced around at the four people in front of him, he thought of Bucky. The only date Steve had ever been on was because Bucky set him up. He knew that if Bucky were there and in his right mind, Bucky would’ve been right there with them.

“I assume she’s coming?” Steve asked Tony.

Tony nodded. Steve looked down at his watch, the party started in half an hour. Even if he borrowed one of Tony’s cars, she would have left by the time he’d made it to their apartment complex.

“Well if I was interested in Olivia as more than a friend that’s shot,” Steve sighed, “I’ll be lucky if I walk out of this with her friendship.”

“So…you do want to date her?” Tony asked with a small smirk.

“I don’t know Tony,” Steve said, “but now I don’t really have the chance to explore it.

“I hardly think that’s true,” Tony said.

“Well one thing is for sure,” Nat said with a slight smile, “Tonight is bound to be an interesting one.”

* * *

The Avengers Tower was much more impressive in person than it was on television. Olivia didn’t usually get nervous for parties, but this one was different, and it wasn’t just because of the flashy lights and the crowed of press standing outside on the sidewalk.

The day after Olivia met Tony Stark, she had replied to the invitation with a firm “no”. The day after that, Tony was in her store again, combating every excuse she gave him with a reason to go. Her last attempt was to tell him that she didn’t have anything to wear. The next morning, she opened her apartment door to Pepper Potts standing outside with a rack of dress and at least thirty pairs of shoes.

More than once it crossed her mind that this whole thing was incredibly bizarre. When she brought that fact up to Pepper, Pepper laughed and told her that once Tony decided to invest his time in someone, there was no going back. So, she picked out a navy blue peplum dress that hugged all the right curves and red pumps, accepted Tony and Pepper’s dinner invite, and decided to stop questioning things.

The party was on the top floor and when she stepped off the elevator a rush of loud music and lights overwhelmed her senses. She began to scan the room, Tony was walking around, schmoozing his guests. It was also incredibly difficult to miss Thor, as he was simultaneously the largest and loudest man in the room. Not to mention he was in the dead center of it surrounded by a group of people.

Her plan was to head straight to the bar and she made her move toward it but was cut off by the last person she’d expected to see. James stood in front of her with worried eyes and a small smile. Her stomach dropped and she wished that a drink would appear in her hand.

“Hi Liv,” he said as he reached her.

“Wha-what are you doing here?” she asked, “Seems like this might be a party for Stark’s most important employees and I thought you weren’t important,” she said narrowing her eyes at him.

“Can I just…can we talk really quick?” he asked.

The dreaded talk. He’d been missing for two weeks and now he wanted to talk about why. She didn’t need to hear him tell her that he was secretly married or a drug dealer, or whatever secret it was that he had. It had crossed her mind very early on that he was keeping something from her, but he always answered her questions so genuinely that she shoved that fear aside. He had possibly the worst timing ever, wanting to come clean at Stark Industries party.

“Oh God,” she sighed, “Can I at least get drunk first?” she asked walking to towards the bar.

She froze, she knew the red-headed woman behind the bar, and she knew the young man sitting across the bar laughing at something the woman had just said. It suddenly dawned on her that the reason Natalie had looked so familiar when she’d come into her store was because she wasn’t Natalie at all, she was Natasha Romanoff and also known as the Black Widow. Now that she saw the young man in context with Black Widow, she recognized him too, as Hawkeye.

“Please can we talk,” he said sharply as he followed her gaze.

She hardly heard him though, she was too focused on the duo at the bar. A small gasp escaped her lips as another recognizable face joined them. She didn’t think she’d seen Sam on the news with the Avengers at any point, but she couldn’t understand why he would also be at this party.

James said something to her as she strode over to the bar, but she wasn’t listening. She was confused and also growing more annoyed by the minute. Sam choked on his drink when he saw her, Clint and Natasha both turned their attention towards her.

“Oh, hey Olivia,” Clint said cheerily.

Natasha hit his arm with the back of her hand and shook her head lightly. Apparently, he hadn’t noticed the anger in her eyes.

“Just a couple of questions,” she said furiously, “why did three of the Avengers show up at my bookstore last week?” she asked, then she turned to Sam, “Who are you?” And where is the other guy?”

“What other guy?” Clint asked raising an eyebrow.

“I’m still Sam,” Sam replied, looking at her terrified.

“It was just us and Tony,” Natasha said, confused.

“Okay first question still unanswered, but now I have more,” said Olivia, “Should I know you?” she asked Sam.

“Nope,” he said shaking his head, “I’m not an Avenger just a friend of Steve’s.”

“Steve?” Olivia said questioningly, “Who’s Steve?”

“No one,” Sam said quickly.

“Oh my god,” Natasha sighed dropping her head into her hand.

Olivia shook her head slowly; the whole thing was too weird for her. She knew coming to this party was a bad idea. She started to back up, ready to leave, when she bumped into something very solid. She spun around to James. James, who had been so familiar to her that day at the café, her neighbor and nothing more. Her eyes scanned the room again. She picked out Tony or Ironman, and Thor easily in the crowd. Black Widow and Hawkeye were right behind her, and she noticed Bruce Banner in the corner of the room, talking to Pepper. She laughed in disbelief, realizing the one Avenger who she hadn’t seen was standing right in front of her.

“Oh wow,” she said shaking her head.

“Please let me explain,” he said softly.

“I’m such an idiot,” she said touching her fingertips to her temple, “I’m so stupid.”

“Olive!”

Olivia jumped at Tony Stark’s voice. She turned to face him, plastering a large, fake smile across her face. She was right, the whole thing had been off. Her interactions with the customers in the bookstore, Tony’s insistence on her coming to the party, everything had been incredibly off.

“I’m so glad you came,” Tony said pulling her into a hug.

“Thank you for having me,” she said, “and now I’m leaving,” she said turning to leave.

“Olivia, wait!” said James…Steve.

“What is this?” she asked Tony sharply, “What was the point of inviting me? To humiliate me?”

“No,” Tony said shaking his head, “I was trying to help out a friend, and I ended up with a new one.”

He was so genuine in saying it, that Olivia couldn’t stay angry with him. It was the first time she’d seen him authentic; he was usually so focused on charming everyone around him. She nodded at him, then turned her attention towards the three behind him.

“You three were spying on me then?” she asked them.

“See?” said Clint, “Perceptive.”

“Seriously man, shut the hell up,” Sam sighed shaking his head.

“Spying is kind of my thing,” Natasha said with a shrug of her head.

“We just wanted to get to know you, that’s all,” Sam said gently, “For his sake,” he said nodding towards Steve.

“Why? What did you tell them about me?” she asked abruptly turning her attention to Steve.

“Nothing,” Steve said, “I just…they noticed that I was spending a significant amount of time with you,” he sighed.

“Did you tell them that we were dating?” she hissed, narrowing her eyes at him.

“No of course not!” he exclaimed.

“He made it very clear that you were just friends,” Natasha added.

“Okay I’m not doing this with you here,” she snapped at Steve

There were at least a couple hundred people at this party and a whole gang of press downstairs. The last thing she needed was to headline the tabloids as some desperate Captain America fan. She needed to play it cool. She turned on her heel and made her way down to the street, away from the tower.

It was a brisk night and her lack of jacket made that all the more obvious. She was vaguely aware of the fact that Steve had followed her out of the party was trailing behind her somewhere. A very large part of her wanted to turn around and deck him right the face, but she also wanted to hear whatever dumb excuse he had for lying to her for so long. She also recognized that if she tried punching Captain America in the face, she would probably end up with a broken hand.

Central Park wasn’t her original destination, but once she saw the entrance, she figured there was as good a place as any. It was dimly lit and relatively quiet. As soon as she hit the grass, she pulled off her pumps, holding them in her hand as she walked barefoot deeper into the park. After a few more minutes of walking, she stopped and took a deep breath in, letting it out slowly.

“You lied to me,” she said, her back still turned to him.

“I know,” he said, “I’m so sorry.”

She finally turned to face him. It was so blatantly obvious who he was, now that she knew. He was huge, and his blue eyes were so clearly the eyes plastered all over New York City under that tacky blue helmet. How she spent an entire month believing that he was just some guy living across the hall from her she would never understand.

“I thought not lying was like your whole deal,” she said angrily.

“I’m still human,” he shrugged, “I make mistakes the same as anyone else.”

Olivia laughed and bit her lip. Her arms crossed around her middle. He took off his jacket and handed it to her. She wanted to deny it, but she was cold and admittedly wanted it. She snatched from him and threw it over her shoulders.

“Why lie?” she asked.

“You didn’t recognize me when we first met,” he said softly, “I was going to tell you, I was, but we kept spending time together and it was so easy and comfortable and I didn’t want to complicate things.”

“Lying was less complicated,” Olivia nodded, “And then what, disappearing for two weeks wasn’t supposed to complicate things either? Sending your entire to team to…what spy on me? That wasn’t complicated?”

Steve sighed and ran his hand through his hair, a nervous habit Olivia had picked up on. He had done it anytime she had asked him a personal question.

“I don’t know if it matters much, but I didn’t send them. They’re just nosey little…” he said trailing off, “And Tony, Tony was way out of line. I didn’t know about any of it until today, I swear.”

“Okay I believe that,” Olivia said slowly, “I shouldn’t believe anything you say, but I believe that.”

“Thank you,” he said. “I shouldn’t have disappeared like that, I just, didn’t know how to tell you and I after I got that message from you I just thought that disappearing would be…I don’t know what you wanted.”

“Well you didn’t ask me what I wanted,” she shot.

“Olivia, I am so sorry,” he said, “I’ve been selfish and stupid and very, very wrong.”

“It’s embarrassing, don’t you get that?” Olivia said, “I’ve been hanging out with Captain America completely unaware. I feel like a complete idiot. Like obviously you’re Captain America, with your dumb hair and stupid muscles and your…eyes.”

He suppressed a grin.

She scoffed at him and rolled her eyes and said, “Don’t go getting all pleased with yourself.”

“I think you knew more than you think,” he said with a small laugh, “You asked some very pointed questions.”

“Yeah, because there was something weird about you!” she shouted.

“Well yeah, I’m Captain America!” he exclaimed.

They stared at each other for a moment. Olivia started laughing, and Steve’s face broke out into a small smile. He was still uncomfortable, she could tell, but most of the tension was broken at least. She stuck out her hand towards him.

“Hi, I’m Olivia Harrington,” she said.

“Steve Rogers,” he said taking her hand and shaking it.

She could feel the relief radiating off of him and she wanted to tell him that everything would go back to normal. It couldn’t though, he lied to her, and she couldn’t just let that go.

“Steve,” she nodded as she broke their handshake, and dropped to sit in the grass. “It’s nice to meet you,” she added.

“It’s nice to meet you too,” he replied. “I’m sorry my friends are idiots,” he said rubbing the back of his neck.

“They made my week interesting at least,” she shrugged, “besides, technically you’re their leader. The leader of idiots.”

“The biggest idiot to lead a team of smaller idiots,” Steve nodded, sitting down across from her.

“There’s one thing I’m curious about,” she said slowly.

“Yeah?” Steve said, raising his eyebrows questioningly.

“Why James?” she asked.

“History must not have been one of your better subjects,” Steve sighed, “James Barnes, was my best friend.”

“Barnes,” Olivia said slowly.

The name sounded familiar. There was a sharp pain in her head as she tried to remember where she’d heard the name. She pressed her palm to her forehead, blinking rapidly to try and dissolve the pain. 

“Are you alright?” Steve asked, concerned.

“Yeah,” she said shaking her head, “I’m fine. I just…sometimes I get these headaches. I’ve heard that name before.”

“I’m not surprised,” Steve said, “His name was in the news pretty recently.”

“No, that isn’t it,” she said shaking her head, “It doesn’t matter. Steve that’s pretty fucked up,” she added with a laugh.

“Uh, yeah, you’re right,” he nodded, “It was just the first name that came to my mind, I regretted it every time you said it.”

“Steve,” Olivia said again.

She felt like she was overusing his name, but she had to, to get used to it.

“Yeah?” he asked.

“I’m gonna need some time,” she said softly, “You have to give me time.”

“That’s fair,” he nodded, “Can I at least take you home?”

“I think that would be alright,” she smiled.

He stood and offered her his hand. He pulled her up a little too fast and she stumbled into him. Without thinking she wrapped her arms around his waist. He hesitated for a moment, then brought his arms around her too.

“I missed you,” he said whispered. She nodded against him in agreement.

He borrowed one of Tony’s cars to take her home, mostly because she didn’t want to ride on the back of his motorcycle in her dress and heels. When they finally reached her door, he lingered for a moment, looking down at her with sad eyes.

“Don’t give me that look Rogers,” she smirked, brushing her thumb against his cheek.

“I know,” he said, pressing his hand onto hers, “This is on me.”

“I’ll call you when I’m ready,” she said with smile.

He returned her smile and gave her a short nod. She watched him walk to his apartment, when he got to his door, he turned to look at her again, then disappeared behind it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty here it is! I had kind of a difficult time writing this one, but I hope you all enjoy it! Thank you for reading and for leaving comments. I love and appreciate them! 
> 
> P.S. I did post this at like 1AM this morning, but forgot some things and took it down to re-post. I don't think anyone saw, but in case you did, that is what happened!


	5. A Flashback and a Break

* * *

_His face stung from the hit, but it was nothing he wasn't used to. It hardly even fazed him at this point, and besides, he was too focused on the face of the man on the bridge to really feel anything else. The director was talking to him, explaining something. He had a job to do, it was important. "Bucky?", the man had said. The man on the bridge was more important._

_“But I knew him.”_

_“Prep him.”_

_“But sir, he’s been out of cryo-freeze too long.”_

_“Then wipe him and start over.”_

_He braced himself for the pain. It was worse if he tried to hold on to his memories. He’d learned that very early on. Still, this was one he couldn’t let go. The face, the voice, the question,“Bucky?”, clung to the walls of his brain as they did their best to rip it all away. He could hear his screams, but the “Bucky”? was louder. Until finally it wasn’t._

_He was blank again, there was nothing but darkness and anger and red. Screams and cried, blood, and a faint, very faint, “Bucky”?._

_There was an air of panic in the room. Hushed voices speaking rapidly around him. Something wasn’t right._

_“It’s taking longer every time,” he heard someone say._

_“Think he’s fighting back?” someone asked._

_“Don’t know…but look at him,” said the first voice, “He’s erratic, even completely wiped he’s resisting. We’re going to need to bring her in again, before we program him.”_

_He was vaguely aware of his body thrashing, struggling against the restraints. He’d lost all control. Again. This wasn't the first time, he knew that, although he couldn’t remember the last time. He couldn’t remember beyond what he’d just heard. Except an almost inaudible now, “Bucky?”._

_There was some sort of commotion coming from somewhere to his left. He glanced over to see two men escorting a young woman into the room._

_“Let go of me,” she said fighting against them._

_They threw her into the room with such force that she fell to the ground. Her long curls hung damply around her face._

_“I won’t do it,” she growled._

_One of the men in black knelt down in front of her. He watched as the man grabbed her chin and pulled her up. He hit her across the face with the back of his hand and she fell to the ground again._

_“You’ll do what we say, got that?” he hissed._

_She lifted her head, her hand against her cheek._

_“You’re losing him,” she said to one of the white-coats, “The more you erase him, the more you lose. Look at him, he’s resisting you more and more every time."_

_He realized that she was talking about him. His eyes met hers and amid the darkness, the screams, and the blood another image stood out. This young woman, hovering above him._

_“See?” she said with a nod of her head, “He recognizes me. He remembers. No matter how hard you try you can't erase him, not completely. He'll die before you do that.”_

_“Wipe him again,” said the man in black sharply._

_His voice mixed with hers as they both cried out._

_“No!”_

_He was met with wide eyes from everyone around the room. She shook her head slightly at him, warning him against speaking again. Slowly she got to her feet, her hands up defensively._

_“No don’t,” she said softly, “You could kill him.”_

_“We’ve got plenty of others,” the man in black shrugged._

_“Don’t be stupid Rumlow,” hissed one of his comrades, “If we lose him, we’re dead.”_

_“Then let’s just use his fucking trigger words and send him on his merry way,” said Rumlow._

_His stomach churned. “Trigger words”. He didn’t know what they were talking about, but he knew he didn’t want those. His heart raced and he began fighting against the restraints again, violently trying to break free._

_“He’s losing it,” Rumlow said to the girl, “You either do what we brought you here to do or we wipe him again. He dies, that’s on you.”_

_He met her eyes, still struggling against his restraints. His whole body hurt, his head was throbbing, he felt like he was drowning. Whatever they wanted her to do to him couldn’t be as bad or as painful as them wiping him clean again._

_She watched him, tears welling up in her eyes._

_“Alright wipe him,” said Rumlow’s mate._

_He started screaming again, fighting harder than ever to break free. They knew his strength too well though, the metal bindings that held him down didn’t budge._

_“I’ll do it!” he heard her shout over his screams._

_“Stand down,” Rumlow said to the white coats readying their machine._

_“I need to touch him though,” the girl said slowly._

_“You didn’t have to before,” Rumlow said narrowing his eyes at her._

_“Well before you guys hadn’t tortured him within inches of his life,” she snapped, “Before he wasn’t traumatized from fighting his past. I don’t know who thought it was a good idea to put him up against Steve Rogers, but you idiots pushed him to his breaking point, so now, I have to make some adjustments.”_

_She glanced at him briefly as she said “Steve Rogers”. The name sent a jolt through his body, but he was too busy fighting through his panic attack to focus on it._

_Rumlow lunged towards her, grabbing her face again. He glared down at her, breathing heavy._

_“You're a stupid bitch you know that? If that name triggers him, we're all fucked,” Rumlow growled. He laughed and shook his head, “Pierce really does tell you everything doesn’t he? We’re not allowed to torture you; you get special treatment just because you’re family, but that won't last if you fuck this up for him.”_

_“Pierce tortures me enough,” she spat, “He’s no family to me.”_

_“I would kill you right now if I could,” Rumlow sneered, “If you weren’t his niece, I’d slit your throat right here.”_

_“He’s getting worse,” she said, “You’re going to lose him.”_

_“Aw, that worries you doesn’t it, Olivia?” Rumlow condescended, “You’ve grown to care about him, haven’t you?”_

_"You don't know shit Rumlow," she snapped._

_He raised his hand to hit her again._

_“Rumlow, if you leave a mark we all pay for it,” came a sharp voice. It was his coworker, “Let her to her job, we need him for the next phase of the Pierce’s plan.”_

_She was right, he was losing it. His brain was fried and his body was aching from the constant fight. Their voices were miles away. He couldn't control anything, he just wanted everything to end._

_He watched her approach him cautiously. He knew he was still thrashing about, but that didn’t seem to faze her. Her eyes were soft and gentle, apologetic too. He did know her, though he couldn’t recall how. He tried to find a memory of her, anything to link her to him, but he couldn’t, and the more he did the more his head throbbed._

_“Hi,” she said gently, “It’s going to be okay.”_

_She looked up at the others around her._

_“I need you all to back the fuck up,” she said firmly, “I can’t focus.”_

_They did as she said._

_“What are you going to do to me?” he heard himself ask._

_“I’m going to help," she said in a low whisper._

_"Are you going to kill me?" he asked._

_"You think that's help," her eyes were sad as she said it._

_"Anything is better than this," he breathed._

_"You can't give up," she said gently._

_"I think I'd like to," he replied._

_"What are you saying to him?" one of the guards asked sharply._

_"Do you want this done right? Or do you want to pay for the consequences of messing it up?" she flared.  
_

_"We don't have all day Princess," Rumlow snarled._

_"Then I suggest you shut the fuck up and let me work," she retorted._

_She looked down at him again and smiled reassuringly. She leaned in close to his cheek._

_"This might be a little weird," she whispered in his ear._

_She pulled back abruptly, and placed one of her hands against the skin of his arm, the other pressed gently against the side of his face. He was instantly calm, his entire body relaxed._

_“ **Can you hear me? Don’t answer out loud.** ” _

_He was surprised to realize that her voice was coming from inside his head. He nodded very slightly. A wave of relief washed over him, and he realized it was coming from her._

_**“Sorry,”** she said, “ **I** **’ve never done this before. I'll try and control my emotions better.** ”_

_“ **Is now really the time to try new things?** ” he thought._

_She smirked at him and he understood that the hearing of each other’s thoughts went both ways._

_“ **How are you feeling?** ” she asked, “ **Better?** ”_

_“ **Better,”** he scoffed, “ **I guess** ,” he replied, “ **What are you doing to me?** ”_

_“ **Short answer, I’m controlling your emotions, making you calm and ready to receive the programming their about to perform on you,** ” she replied._

_He felt a wave of panic rise in him again, as flashes of what that meant filled his mind. She winced at him and her eyes became watery once again._

_“ **I have to make that go away** ,” she said, “ **I’m so sorry but I have to make you receptive to them**.”_

**_“What do you mean?_ ** _” he asked._

_“ **It’s what I do** ,” she said, “ **They wipe your memory, then drag me in here to clear you of your emotions and whatever lingering memories you may have, and then they program you to do their dirty work**.”_

_“ **How many times have we done this?** ” he asked._

_“ **We’ve been doing this for three years** ,” her voice inside his head was fragile. _

_A memory flashed in his head; they were sparring, he was teaching her how to fight with knives. Another; he stood behind her, teaching her how to hold a gun._

**_“I’ve been training you_ ** _,” he said._

_“ **Yes,** ” she said, " **This is the first conversation we've ever had though."**_

**_"And how's it going?"_ ** _he asked._

 **_"I like it,"_ ** _her voice was soft in his mind, " **I wish we had longer."**_

_**"Don't end it then."** _

_**"I have to,"** her eyes pleaded with him to understand. _

_“ **You work for them**.” _

_“ **So do you pal."**_

_“Please don’t do this,” he said out loud._

_“I’m so sorry,” she replied to him out loud as well, "I don't have a choice."_

_He jerked his head away from her. The panic came back in full force, along with anger._

_“If you don’t let me do this, they will kill me,” she said through gritted teeth._

_"I heard him, they can't kill you," he spat back._

_"It won't matter if I fuck this up," she whispered aggressively, "If I'm no longer useful to them they will kill me. And th_ _ey will continue to use you until there is nothing left and then they’ll dispose of you too.”_

_“There already is nothing left of me!” he shouted._

_She clenched her jaw and pressed her hands again on his arm and the side of his face. He gasped as flashes of images filled his mind. Images from another man’s life. A blue eyed young man with a sarcastic smile and a confident gaze. There was a mother and a father, sisters, a best friend. A blue eyed blonde hair determined little..."Punk”, he heard himself say. “Jerk,” from his best friend. Relief and a wave of affection towards the blonde haired, blue-eyed man standing above him…rescuing him. He felt anchored by this man. “Steve”, he didn’t know if it was her voice or his, they were so intertwined. Then “Bucky?”._

_“ **That’s you** ,” came the girl’s voice softly, “ **You are Bucky."**_

_His eyes met hers and he realized that as much as it felt like the first time he'd heard his name, this was actually the first time she'd heard it. There was a flash of warmth and excitement, then a strange tugging in his chest, he didn't know what it was, but he knew that it was all coming from her. Or was it? He couldn't tell anymore._

**_"That's all you. You're still in there,"_ ** _she said gently, " **You're not gone."**_

_The men in black uniforms and the white coats began surrounding them slowly. He could feel her anxiety wash over him._

_" **I have to reset you now,"** she eyed him sadly, " **They're on to me."**_

_“ **What’s your name?** ” he questioned._

_“ **It doesn’t matter, you won’t remember me,** ” she replied._

**_“Tell it to me anyway_ ** _,” he said._

_“ **I’m Olivia** ,” she responded._

_“ **Olivia.** ”_

_He felt himself smile softly. She gasped; he was sure she’d never seen him smile. He heard the voices of the men surround them. She brushed his hair back; a pained look fell across her face._

_“ **Don’t do this Olivia** ,” he said._

_“ **I have to** ,” she said._

_“ **Please don’t** ,” he begged, “ **Please, I can help you out of this**.”_

_“ **Maybe you can, but not here, and not now,** ” she said. _

_He struggled against her, but her hold on him was firmer this time and without access to the rest of his body, it was useless. Tears ran down her cheek, he could feel her walling up his memories. He tried to cling to them any of them, but she pushed on, locking them in a place that he couldn’t find._

_There was nothing again, but he wasn’t afraid. He was focused and patient, waiting for the Winter Solider to take over. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a man enter, holding a red leather-bound book with a black star on the front._

_“Alright, let’s go, Lover Boy’s got some people to kill,” Rumlow said to the girl._

_She was still pressed against him._

_“ **You’re not gone, Bucky** ” he heard her say in his mind, **“Don't give up."**_

_He couldn’t even remember who she was. He saw her eyes search his, they fell as she realized that she’d lost him. Her head dropped to his chest, he could hear her sobs, but he didn’t care. Rumlow seized her and began pulling her off of him._

_“Please let me go,” she sobbed._

_“Now why would we do that?” Rumlow asked, “You’re such a good little girl and you two make a great team.”_

_“I can’t do this anymore,” she said weakly, “Please.”_

_“Don’t worry Princess,” Rumlow sneered, “Once it becomes too much, I’m sure Pierce will agree to let us put you out of your misery, or better yet, we’ll start fucking with your head too.”_

_“No!” she cried out._

* * *

Bucky woke with a start. He glanced around the small studio flat he had been squatting in and tried to catch his breath. It took him a minute or two before he realized where he was and that he’d just had another nightmare. This one wasn’t as bad as the others; they never were when she was in them.

He groaned as he sat up. His head was pounding, and his arm was asleep from using it as a pillow. Sweat dripped from his forehead, he tried to wipe it with his other hand, only to remember that it was now made of metal. That was something that took adjusting to. His memories came back slowly, they were almost always broken and fragmented. He pieced together the bits where he’d lost his arm and gained a new one. He saw himself use it time and again in his nightmares. It was still jarring to him when he was awake, and so fucking heavy.

Steve was important, he knew that, and his trip to the museum had confirmed it. He thought that girl was important too. He saw her face and heard her name in his dreams. Her face he couldn’t forget, but her name…he never remembered.

The first time he saw her in the bookstore he had stood frozen, watching her for what felt like hours. He was surprised that she never noticed the bulky, suspicious looking man staring at her through the window. It took days for him to finally get up the nerve to actually go into the store, even then he couldn’t actually look at her, or talk to her. He hated her and the things she’d done to him. She had been in his head, manipulating his thoughts and feelings. She knew things about him that he struggled to recall.

At the same time, he felt some sort of attachment to her and a strange protectiveness. He remembered how relieved he was when he’d first seen that she’d made it out, that she was safe and away from HYDRA. To this day he wondered how she’d gotten out. She was nothing to him, and yet somehow he needed to make sure she was okay. When she had collapsed into him on the street, he panicked. He had stayed with her in the shop for an hour, sitting uncomfortably against the wall with her curled up in his lap, just to make sure she was okay.

Initially it took him by surprise that she didn’t recognize him, then he realized they must have wiped her memories too. That was for the best, he didn’t need her remembering him or whatever time they’d spent together.

He grabbed a glass and filled it from the tap. He was so tired of running. He’d been squatting in empty apartments from D.C. to Brooklyn for months and he was exhausted. But he’d been in New York for too long, it was time to move on. He had to. Especially with Steve’s friend tailing him constantly. He’d consistently managed to throw him off his scent, but it was only a matter of time before the guy caught up to him. He was good, and Bucky didn’t have the wherewithal to continue to be better. He needed a break and the best way to do that was to get far away.

Bucky snatched up his pack that he kept ready to go at any moment. He took the journals off the counter, making sure the pictures he had stayed inside as he shoved them into his backpack. Then, he climbed out the window and disappeared into the night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...this was not part of the plan, but I can't resist Bucky. And now we have questions that need answering! And I will answer them, I promise. Sorry this chapter is shorter than the others, it's really meant to be a sidebar mostly. I hope you all enjoyed it! It was definitely interesting and incredibly challenging to write. The next update might take a bit longer. Thank you for reading and leaving the love! As always it's much appreciated, as is any feedback! :)


	6. Stubborn Asshole

Olivia sat straight up in her bed; her heart was racing and sweat dripped from her forehead. Her entire body was shaking uncontrollably, as she pulled herself from her bed and stumbled into her bathroom. There was no time to flick on the lights before she was vomiting into the toilet. When she finished, she wiped her mouth with a piece of toilet paper and pressed her back against the cool bathroom tile.

The nightmares were not uncommon, she’d had them since she was little. Her aunt used to hold her in the middle of the night, shushing her gently, rocking her back and forth as she cried. They were always so vivid and detailed that Olivia swore they could have been memories. Even as a child, the moment she awoke, the dreams dissipated almost immediately, leaving her with nothing more than disjointed images and words so that she could not even make sense of anything she’d seen.

Her elbow rested on the lid of the toilet and her head dropped to her hand. She began to cry, coming slowly out of her nightmare induced haze. This was the fifth night in a row that she’d been jolted awake from a dark, terrifying dream. They were almost all the same and they always felt like they belonged to someone else. The fear, the anxiety, the pain she felt in her dreams didn’t feel like her own.

When her body stopped trembling enough for her to stand, she slowly made her way back to her bed. She collapsed into it, curling into herself. She reached for her phone, squinting as the screen lit up brightly in the dark. It was two o’clock in the morning, but that didn’t matter. She opened up her favorites and clicked to call her aunt.

The other line hardly rang once before her aunt breathed a, “Olivia? What’s wrong?”, into her ear. Olivia’s heart slowed at that sound of her voice, her tense body dared to relax, just a bit.

“Hi, Len,” Olivia said weakly.

Lena was a young woman, in her late twenties, when her sister died, leaving a four-year-old Olivia very much alone. Olivia knew absolutely nothing of her father, and Aunt Lena didn’t either. It wouldn’t have mattered if she had though, Lena took Olivia in without any hesitation. It helped that she had a tight knit group of friends, like Alexi, to support her in raising a young girl.

“Honey it’s three in the morning,” Lena said gently, “Are you alright?”

“Just another nightmare,” Olivia replied.

She picked at a thread on her pillowcase nervously. She hated worrying her aunt. Lena was a tough woman; Olivia had witnessed it on multiple occasions growing up. But when it came to Olivia, she was soft and high strung. She was career driven, but she had dedicated her life to Olivia. It was because of that, that Olivia hated being anything other than good and easy for her.

“Tell me about it,” Lena said.

Olivia could hear her click on her light through the phone. The rustling told her that her aunt was sitting up in bed, ready to listen. She swelled with gratitude at her aunt’s endless patience.

“You know I can’t remember much of it,” Olivia mumbled.

“Tell me what you can,” said Lena.

“I remember fear and pain and struggle. Someone was struggling,” Olivia pulled the emotions from her memory, “It was cold and damp. There were men in black clothing. Dark eyes…they were sad…and so scared. It was his fear that I felt…” Olivia said trailing off.

“Who was it?” Lena asked.

There was a sharpness in her voice that made Olivia uneasy.

“I don’t know Lena,” Olivia told her, “You know I don’t. All I remember are the eyes.”

“I know,” Lena sighed, “I’m sorry sweetie, I know these nightmares are difficult for you. Remember Olivia, they can’t hurt you.”

Olivia nodded silently, knowing that her aunt couldn’t see. Lena had been saying that to her ever since the nightmares started. It was their mantra, “They can’t hurt you”, over and over until Olivia had finally fallen back asleep.

“They can’t hurt me,” Olivia said in barely a whisper. Then, “But what if they can?”

Her aunt made a small noise on the other line, something like a gasp. Olivia had never asked that before. Olivia knew that nightmares couldn’t really hurt her, but they never really felt like nightmares. At some point Olivia had started to notice that Lena never told her that they were just nightmares and that they weren’t real. “They can’t hurt you” started to feel like it was about something else, not imaginary, scary dreams.

“Olivia,” Lena said firmly, “I will never let anything happen to you. Do you understand me?”

“Yeah,” Olivia said softly.

“I love you,” Lena said,

“Love you to Len,” Olivia replied.

“Now try and get some sleep,” Lena told her.

Olivia sighed and hung up. She knew sleep was way beyond her. Even if she were tired, she was too afraid to fall asleep again. The adrenaline racing through her body didn’t help either. So, she pulled the blanket and pillow off her bed and brought herself into the living room.

She groaned as she turned on the television. She’d been watching the news coverage for days and in her nightmare induced haze, had briefly forgotten about the real-life nightmare that had been happening right in front of her. It had crossed her mind that her nightmares were a result of the anxiety and stress of everything going on. They felt so distant though, so completely unrelated, that she knew the nightmares were caused by something else.

She picked up her phone and checked the unread messages. There was still nothing from Steve, which was to be expected. He was a little preoccupied with saving the world yet again. That didn’t make it any easier to stomach. If she never got to speak to Steve again, that was on her, it was entirely her fault.

* * *

**One Week Earlier:**

Tony was in her apartment. Sitting on her sofa, his feet propped up on her coffee table, sipping a green smoothie. There was a full one in front of him on the table, which he tapped with his foot, wiggling his eyebrows and grinning broadly as Olivia stood dumfounded in her doorway.

“I would ask how you got into my apartment,” Olivia said, tossing her keys onto her kitchen table.

“But then you remembered that I’m Tony Stark and I can do anything?” he asked as he muted her television.

“Anything?” she asked narrowing her eyes at him.

“More or less yeah,” he nodded.

Olivia scoffed, but grabbed the smoothie off the table and plopped herself into the armchair next to her couch.

“So, what do you want Stark?” she asked.

“Well here’s the thing,” he said turning to face her, “I get you’ve put your little…well whatever it is, with Cap on the backburner. But I’m a little offended that you’ve uh somehow lumped me in with him.”

“Oh my god,” Olivia groaned.

“I mean Olive, I didn’t lie to you,” he grinned.

“No,” said Olivia, “You did omit quite a few details though.”

“Okay sure,” Tony nodded, “Point is, the team made a breakthrough on our last mission and we’re reveling.”

She raised an eyebrow at him as she took another sip of her drink.

“I’m throwing another party,” he said, “Less press, more fun.”

“Absolutely not,” Olivia said with a sharp laugh, “Are you insane?”

“It’s a character flaw,” he shrugged, “What can I say?”

Olivia stared at him in awe. Somehow, in span of a month and a half, Olivia had unknowingly met all of the Avengers and befriended Tony Stark to the point where he assumed it was okay to break into her apartment. On top of that, what started it all was, that she sort of developed weird feelings for Captain America without knowing he was Captain America, and then kind of dumped Captain America. It was all very confusing and incredibly overwhelming.

“Tony,” she sighed, “I appreciate the invite, I really do, but I still need time. I mean...it’s just so uncomfortable. Last time was a complete disaster. I’m getting the sweats thinking about it.”

“It wasn’t a complete disaster,” he said, “You looked great.”

“Tony,” she said shaking her head.

The very idea of being in the same room with Steve again was making her stomach churn. She wasn’t even close to being ready to see him again.

“Alright, I respect it.” Tony nodded, “It was worth a shot at least,” he said standing.

“How is he?” Olivia asked the question without even thinking.

“He’s fine Olive,” Tony smiled, “Rogers isn’t the wallowing type.”

She nodded, unsure if Tony’s answer made her feel better or worse. She didn’t need Steve to wallow, but she was sure she didn’t want him to be ‘fine’. He had, after all, been the one to lie to her.

“He’s more the ‘throw himself into stupid and dangerous situations to forget any and all pain he’s ever experienced’ type,” Tony added.

“That’s not funny,” Olivia said rolling her eyes.

“Maybe not,” Tony nodded, “but it’s true.”

“Does he actually jump out of planes without a parachute?” Olivia asked, “I heard a rumor…”

“Oh, one hundred percent he does.” said Tony, “The man thinks he’s invincible.”

“Tony,” Olivia said as he opened her door, “Please don’t let him do anything stupid.”

Tony chuckled, shaking his head.

“Olive, I may be insane, but I’m not delusional. I don’t pretend that I have any control over the anything that man does, none of us do,” he said, “But you don’t have anything to worry about. It’s break time for the Avengers, no crazy missions for a bit.”

“If you say so Stark,” Olivia smirked.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” he asked.

“Trouble just always seems to find you guys,” she shrugged.

“Not this time,” Tony winked.

* * *

Tony had been wrong of course. Olivia had heard rumblings about something going down at The Avengers Tower the night of the party and in the days that followed she anxiously watched as they tackled a legion of murder bots. When they disappeared after the Hulk leveled an entire city, she had received a text from Tony that said “Sorry I couldn’t keep him out of trouble kid, this one’s on me. You need to contact him.”

So, she did. She spent hours perfectly crafting a message that said, “Please stay safe.”, which she promptly deleted. A few times she’d tried to send another message, but nothing sounded right.

Then things got worse. The news was flooded with images of Sokovia, an entire country, flying thousands of feet in the air. She clicked the television off and curled into ball under her comforter. If something did happen to him, or any of them, she couldn’t bear to watch it on the news. Her stomach started to turn again.

Instinctively, Olivia reached for her phone. She didn’t hesitate as she hit Steve’s number, putting the phone up to her ear. Her chest tightened as she waited for the call to connect. It went straight to voicemail. A visceral cry escaped her lips as a monotone voice told her his voice mailbox was full. She threw her phone across the room; it landed with a thud against the door.

For the first time in a long time, Olivia felt incredibly alone. She had always been independent, content by herself. In the past week her anxiety levels had spiked so high that it was all she could do to get out of bed most days. It was constant, and the nightmares did the exact opposite of help. She had reached her breaking point.

Her sobs echoed loudly in her ears. It felt as though there were bricks on her chest and every breath felt like a struggle. All she could do was ride the attack out. She didn’t know for how long she cried, but eventually her energy tapped out. There was nothing left in her. Her brain went blank as she stared unblinking at the wall. Slowly, her breathing returned to normal. The dread didn’t subside as easily.

It wasn’t long before her eyes grew heavy. She resisted for as long as she could, afraid that the nightmares would return. Her resistance wasn’t enough to fight her body’s come down from all the adrenaline and soon she was asleep.

The knocking was soft, but persistent. She gasped as it pulled her out of her sleep. Slowly, she sat up and glanced around, groggily taking in her surroundings. It was still mostly dark out; the sun was just staring to rise, sending a soft light upwards into the night sky. The knocking continued and she shook her head slightly as she realized it was real and not a dream.

She pushed herself off the sofa and sluggishly made her way to the door. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew that she should be concerned that someone was knocking at her door at some early hours in the morning, but she was too exhausted and disoriented to focus on it.

The knocking stopped as she approached the door. She almost walked away; whoever had been there must have left. Or it really had been a figment of her imagination. The curiosity was enough that she stayed and unlocked the door, opening it.

Steve stumbled forward as the door he had been leaning against opened. He caught himself and stood up; his hand flew to his mess of hair; his eyes fell anxiously on Olivia’s. There were fresh cuts and bruises underneath the dirt and dust that smudged across his face. He was still wearing the bottom half of his Captain America suit; he’d removed the top half so that he was just wearing a light blue under shirt. He looked exhausted and uncomfortable.

Without thinking she flung herself towards him, wrapping her arms tightly around his middle, pressing her face into his chest. He tensed at her embrace and groaned softly.

“Olivia,” he said through gritted teeth.

He reached back, placing his hands on hers, and gently untangled her from him. She took a step backwards, looking up at him worried and apologetic.

“I’m sorry,” she said, brush a flyaway piece of hair behind her ear.

“It’s okay,” he said shaking his head, “I’m just a little bruised.” He smiled softly from the corner of his mouth.

“You’re alive,” she breathed.

“Yeah,” he nodded, “I’m sorry to just…show up like this. But uh, I saw that I missed a call from you and I then my phone died.”

“You look like shit,” she said.

He laughed and leaned against her door frame, resting his head against it. Even under the dirt and dried sweat, through his exhaustion, his bright eyes beamed playfully at her.

“Come inside,” she said taking his hand in hers.

“I should probably clean myself up, change, all that.” He squeezed her hand gently.

“Okay,” she nodded. Her heart sank.

“Liv?” he said, his voice full of concern, “Are you alright? You look like shit,” he smirked.

Olivia laughed shaking her head. She puffed out her cheeks, letting out a large breath. He had just spent the last week and a half fighting, risking his life, to save the world, yet again, and he was worrying about her.

“I’ve had a rough night to put it lightly,” she sighed.

“Ah,” he nodded.

He squinted down at her, studying her hard. She was suddenly hyper aware of her mop of curls messily tied up on top of her head. Her eyes, she realized, must have been puffy and red from all of the crying. She tugged lightly at the over-sized shirt she wore over short black yoga shorts, insecurity overtaking her.

“I can come in for a minute,” he conceded.

“No, Steve. I’m okay, really,” she shook her head.

His eyes locked firmly on hers as he leaned in close to her. Instinctively she put up her hand, resting it on softly his chest. His hand covered hers warmly.

“I am coming in,” he told her.

She nodded. Then turned pulling him into her apartment. She shoved her comforter to one end of the couch and sat down, leaning her back against it. He sat next to her, keeping her hand in his. When he tugged on her arm gently, trying to get her to lie down against him, she laughed and shook her head.

“If anyone needs to lie down it’s you,” she said pulling on him.

“Olivia come on,” he laughed, “I’m fine.”

“The cuts and bruises peppering your face suggest otherwise,” she said, “Now come here you big stubborn asshole.”

“We have to discuss your language,” he mumbled, giving into her.

He winced as he moved to lie down. Even if he had the whole sofa to himself, his legs would have hung off the edge, as it were, they hung almost completely over the arm of the couch. He placed his head in her lap. His eyes closed as she began to run her hands through his hair.

“Why was your night rough?” he asked sleepily.

“You mean other than the paralyzing fear that you were going to die before I could talk to you again?” she asked.

“I should have called or something,” he said glancing up at her.

“I can’t believe you’re trying to blame yourself?” she laughed, shaking her head in disbelief. “Even though you were doing exactly what I asked of you.”

“I still should have called,” he shrugged.

He looked up at her with sleepy eyes. She saw the exhaustion began to take its toll. It was almost a relief to see him so human. Even before, when she knew him as James, he always projected an air of strength, like he was unflappable, like nothing could hurt him. She hadn’t seen him falter, ever. The only time his cover slipped in the slightest was the night when he revealed himself to her. Still, he took her anger like a champ, allowing her to meltdown while he stayed firm.

“Please tell me why you were crying,” he said. Lifting his hand to her face he stroked her cheek with his thumb.

“I genuinely thought I was going to lose you Steve,” she told him. “And Tony,” she sighed, “I hate to admit it, but I’ve unwillingly grown very fond of him.”

“That seems to be a very common feeling as far as Stark goes,” Steve chuckled softly.

“Well, I have, and there’s no one to blame but myself,” Olivia rolled her eyes, but smiled. “So, there was that mixed with nightmares and tonight was just about as much as I could handle.”

“Nightmares?” Steve asked.

“Yeah,” she nodded, “I’ve had very vivid nightmares since I was little. For years I didn’t have any, but recently they’ve started up again. Once or twice a week maybe, until this past week when I had one every single night.”

“I’m so sorry Olivia,” Steve said gently.

“Steve the nightmares were not your fault, they had nothing to do with you,” she replied, pulling a piece of rubble from his hair.

“Well,” he sighed, “even still, I know a thing or two about vivid, nightly, nightmares.”

Olivia groaned and hit her palm against her forehead. She was complaining to Steve Rogers about a few scary dreams, he had real trauma.

“Of course, you do,” she said shaking her head, “I’m so stupid.”

“Stop,” Steve said pulling her hand away from her face. “Stop.”

He placed her hand on his chest and held it there, pressing his face against it.

“You’re exhausted Steve,” she said softly.

“Well I had a long day,” he grinned sleepily.

Olivia knew he had wanted to go back to his apartment, but he was already falling asleep. She just didn’t think that showering was a good enough reason to wake him. That could wait until morning. She leaned back further against her comforter and adjusted her legs a bit. Steve didn’t stir at all; he was completely out. She fell asleep still running her fingers through her hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! More setup! I know it's a lot, but I did say this was going to be a slow-burn and I intend to really let it burn. :) I appreciate everyone who is giving this a read and leaving comments and kudos. Thank you all so much!


	7. I Can Handle Complication

Sleep tugged at Steve’s eyelids as he struggled to open them. Sun streamed in through Olivia’s living room window, covering his face warmly. His entire body was stiff, but the pain in his rib-cage from the fight had already subsided. He tilted his head upwards so that he could see Olivia. She was in a ball on her side beneath him, his head had been resting on her legs which she had curled into her. As uncomfortable as he knew she must be, she was still fast asleep.

Steve sat up slowly, careful not to wake her. Even fast asleep she looked exhausted. Their conversation from the previous night was muddied in his brain and mixed unnaturally with the events of Sokovia. He could vaguely remember her telling him that she’d had a rough week herself. It killed him that he had anything to do with it. He bent down and lifted her off her sofa and carried her into her bedroom, then placed her gently on her bed. The last thing he wanted to do was leave her, she had just let him back in. But he desperately needed to shower and change. If he was being honest with himself, he also needed to take a minute to decompress and process everything.

His apartment was dark, the natural light wouldn’t hit until later in the day when the sun was on the other side of the building. The darkness didn’t bother him enough to flip the light on. Besides, his eyes were tired, and he embraced the relief that the darkened apartment gave them. When he reached his bathroom, he turned on the shower, putting the temperature as hot as it would go. It never mattered how hot the water got, after being frozen for seventy years nothing ever felt hot enough. 

Catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror, he laughed softly to himself. Olivia had been right; he did look like shit. Head to toe he was a mess. His face was covered in dirt, his hair was plastered to his head with dried sweat and debris. The light blue shirt he’d worn beneath his Cap suit was relatively clean, but his suit pants were soiled and trashed. He couldn’t believe that she’d let him onto her couch, let alone fall asleep on top of her.

He groaned as he peeled his clothes off and stepped into the shower. The scalding water rushed over him, washing away the dust, sweat, the blood from him. Breathing heavy he leaned forward, his arm pressed on the wall in front of him and dropped his head against it. It wasn’t the first time he’d lost someone in battle and it likely wouldn’t be the last. That didn’t make it any easier. He knew it wasn’t something he’d ever get used to.

Steve sighed, thinking of the kid’s sister, Wanda. She was going to have rough time. And Clint, who lived because of Pietro’s sacrifice, was going to suffer too. They’d lost Banner also and Steve wasn’t sure they’d get him back. Sure, Tony took most of the responsibility on this one, Ultron was his and Banner’s creation. But was Steve not also responsible? He should have been able to protect his team. Tony should have felt safe enough, with Steve as a leader. He shouldn’t have even had to consider creating his Iron Legion or Ultron. But Steve couldn’t protect everyone. More and more he felt like he couldn’t really protect anyone. The bathroom tile cracked as the side of his fist collided with it.

When the hot water began to run cold, he decided it was finally time to drag himself from the shower. He dressed quickly in a pair of dark grey sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt. His phone that he’d left charging on his nightstand was buzzing like crazy. There were at least a dozen messages, some from Tony, a couple from Nat, and one from Sam. Sitting on the edge of his bed, he read through them quickly. Tony needed him to approve a new location for their headquarters, while Nat just wanted to make sure he was okay. He opened Sam's text and read.

**Sam: I know you’re super busy Avenging the world and whatnot, but I wanted to update you. Barnes disappeared again. Call me when you can.**

Steve sighed as he read it. The last time he’d talked to Sam about it, he had reason to believe that Bucky was close. In the city close. Evidently, he had evaded Sam enough to slip away again. Steve dialed Sam’s number and held the phone to his ear.

“Glad to see that you’re alive,” Sam said, answering Steve’s call.

“I do what I can,” Steve said with a short laugh.

“How you doing man?” Sam asked.

“I wish I could say I was doing better,” Steve sighed, letting his façade of unwavering strength drop a little.

“Is there anything I can do?” asked Sam.

Sam was on Steve’s very short list of people that Steve trusted enough to let down his guard in front of. In fact, most days Sam was the entire list, although Natasha usually made an appearance. Tony would have made the list too if Steve hadn’t felt a compelling need to protect Tony at all cost. Olivia was still new, and he still wasn’t sure how she’d handle seeing him with his guard down. 

“No Sam, you’re doing enough,” Steve said into his phone, “I appreciate it though. And hey, don’t be surprised if you get a call to join the Avengers in the very near future.”

Sam laughed in Steve’s ear. They’d talked about here and there, but Sam still wasn’t convinced. Steve knew he’d make a great addition, but Sam had done his time in that world. Despite helping Steve in D.C., Sam had expressed to Steve that he felt like it was a one time deal. He wanted to help in whatever way he could, without suiting up and joining the team. Steve understood, but Sam was the best person he knew. He felt like it would do the team a world of good with Sam a part of it. 

“I don’t know Steve, you know how I feel about all that,” he said.

“Yeah,” Steve nodded, “I do. Think on it, you’re a good guy Sam, we need you.”

“I’ll think about it Steve,” Sam said earnestly, “That’s not why I called though.”

“Right,” Steve said, his thoughts falling on Bucky, “So, he’s gone? Just like that?”

“Just like that,” Sam said. “He didn’t leave us with nothing though.”

“Oh?” said Steve.

“Have you talked to Olivia?” Sam asked.

“Uh yeah, I dropped by early this morning, why?” Steve said questioningly.

“That’s good,” said Sam. Steve could hear the hesitation in his voice.

“What is it Sam?” he asked.

“Other than using his name as yours, have you uh… ever talked to Olivia about Bucky at all?” Sam asked.

“What?” Steve said with a small shake of his head, “No. To be honest, I don't really talk to anyone about Bucky. Other than you of course," said Steve. 

“Right, well, it’s probably nothing,” Sam prefaced, “but I cased the flat where I’m pretty positive he was squatting in and I found a receipt from her bookstore.”

“Okay,” Steve said slowly.

“When she confronted us at the party, she mentioned that someone else, someone who wasn’t a part of our little group, had come in that same week,” he continued, “I think it was him.”

“That’s a pretty big leap Sam,” Steve said, “We aren’t even sure that Bucky was staying in that apartment.”

“Steve,” Sam said in a low, even voice, “I am ninety-nine percent certain he was in that apartment.”

“Fine,” Steve grunted, “but what does it matter if the receipt is his?”

“I’ve been to the store Steve,” said Sam, “It’s unassuming, you’d have to be looking for it to find it.”

“What are you saying Sam?” Steve asked slowly.

He was pretty sure he knew where Sam was going with this, but he needed to hear Sam it out loud.

“You know what I’m saying Steve,” Sam said.

“I’ve had a long week and an even longer twenty-four hours so just say it,” Steve said sharply.

“Fine,” Sam sighed, “I think he was looking for her. I don’t know why, but I think Barnes was looking for Olivia and I’m pretty damn sure he found her.”

Steve stood and paced his room, trying to put himself in Bucky’s head. The problem was the Bucky he knew now was very different from the best friend he’d had growing up. He couldn’t fathom why Bucky would be looking for Olivia. Unless…Steve’s blood ran cold as a thought occurred to him. HYDRA was still operating in every part of the world; Bucky could have gone back…or been forced back into their hands. If he was looking for Olivia, it could also mean that HYDRA was too.

“Sam,” Steve started softly.

“Steve, I think he’s acting autonomously,” Sam said, shutting down Steve’s fear.

“As true as I hope that is, it makes even less sense to me,” Steve sighed, running a shaky hand through his hair.

“I know.” He could hear that Sam seemed just as defeated as he was. “Steve,” Sam said in a gentle voice, “I hate to ask this, but…”

“No,” Steve said firmly, “don’t even ask. I don’t think Olivia has any idea about any of this.”

“Okay,” said Sam, “but how much do you know about this girl really?”

“I know enough,” Steve replied, “She’s not HYDRA.”

“Look, all I’m saying is, it would explain why Barnes would be looking for her. Maybe he’s trying to exact some sort of revenge?” Sam suggested.

“We both know if that were the case, he wouldn’t have hesitated and she wouldn’t be here,” Steve said flatly.

"Unless he's biding his time or creating some sort of plan," Sam suggested.

"Why would he run then? Why wouldn't he stay in the city?" Steve asked.

"He's not dumb Steve," Sam sighed, "He knows you're looking for him. Maybe he's seen you two together, maybe he knows you're involved with her. It could be any number of things Steve."

“No, that isn’t it. I know her." Steve said firmly. 

“She thought she knew you,” Sam said softly.

“I’m not having this conversation anymore,” Steve retorted.

"Look Steve, it's entirely possible that she was brainwashed just like Barnes," Sam said, "You're probably right, she probably has nothing to do with HYDRA, but if she does...she might not even know."

"It can't be that Sam," Steve said, defeated. "It can't be that because if it is, then that means I found the one woman to involve myself with who isn't completely normal and uninvolved in this mess."

"Well," Sam laughed, "You're not completely normal yourself buddy. Maybe you attract the mess because...you're kind of a mess yourself."

"You're such a jerk," Steve said through his smile, "Don't forget, you're a part of that mess my friend."

"One hundred percent Steve," said Sam. "Wouldn't have it any other way."

"Thanks Sam," Steve said, "I appreciate everything you've done...everything you're doing."

“Of course,” said Sam, “I’ll keep you posted on any Barnes updates.”

“Sam,” Steve said quickly, “I really do appreciate your help.”

“I know,” Sam replied, “Will you do me a favor? Will you just talk to her, see if she does know anything about any of it? It could help us get to Barnes.”

“Yeah,” Steve nodded, “Yeah I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thanks Steve,” said Sam, “I’m glad you’re alive.”

Steve chuckled, “Hey consider what I said. Falcon should be getting that call any day now and boy do we need him."

“Yeah, yeah,” Sam laughed, “I will.”

The other line clicked as Sam hung up the phone. Steve chucked his phone onto his bed and fell backwards onto his mattress. He stared up at the ceiling, processing everything that Sam had told him. He brushed his hand over his forehead, absolutely overwhelmed. Olivia couldn’t be involved with Bucky, she simply couldn’t be, because that would mean that out of all the women in New York that he could have befriended, he’d somehow managed to find the one tangled up in his past.

There was a soft knock at his door. He didn’t have to open the door to know it was Olivia. Part of him wasn’t sure if he wanted to see her; but he rolled off his bed anyway and opened the door. As soon as he saw her, his uncertainty disappeared entirely. She’d gotten dressed in a light blue sun dress and white converse and she’d let her hair down, so that her curls fell freely around her. She still looked exhausted, but noticeably better than when he’d left her. His chest swelled at the sight of her and a smile broke out across his lips.

“I’m sorry,” she said with a small laugh, “I didn’t want to bother you, but I just needed to make sure you were okay.”

“You couldn’t bother me,” he said, "You hungry?"

“A little,” she nodded.

“C’mon,” he said jerking his head towards his kitchen.

She grinned and followed him into his apartment. He led her into his kitchen, and she hopped up on the counter as he began to look through his cupboards. His mouth formed a thin line as he realized that there wasn't much food in his flat. 

“I’m not gonna lie to you,” he sighed, “I’m a horrible cook and my food supply seems to be pretty low.”

“What does Tony do the cooking for the Avengers?” Olivia asked with a smirk.

Steve laughed, dropping his head. He glanced up at her, smiling broadly. She did make him feel lighter, like the entire weight of the world wasn’t on his shoulders, or at least like it was bearable.

“Let’s just say that every one of them is a better cook than I am,” he said.

“I’m not that hungry anyway,” she shrugged.

“You’re going to have to lie better than that,” Steve laughed.

“What like you?” she said.

His head shot up. She watched him with wide eyes, her hands had flown to cover her mouth. Immediately he registered that it had been an accidental outburst. Still, it didn’t come from nowhere, and it stung like hell.

“Steve,” she breathed through her hands, “I don’t know why I said that, I didn’t mean it.”

“Olivia it’s fine,” he said, “You did mean it, I understand. I overstepped; I shouldn’t have just showed up at your apartment like that. If you need to leave and…take more time or…”

“Steve,” she said softly, “I’m sorry. I don’t need more time. And I really, really don’t want to leave. Unless you want me too.”

“No,” he said shaking his head, “I would like you to stay.”

Olivia nodded, then reached out her hand towards him. He took it, allowing her to pull him into her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and weaved her fingers through the back of his hair. He snaked his around her waist letting his head drop gently into the crook of her neck. Almost instantly his distress and his grief dissipated.

He let her hold him like that for a long time. For the first time in days it felt like he could breathe, his mind was clear. Everything was okay in her arms. Until he realized that her body was trembling lightly against him. Slowly, he pulled back, glancing down at her concerned. Tears were streaming down her face, her body shook from the soft sobs escaping her lips. She looked as bad as he'd felt for the past week.

“Olivia why are you crying?” he asked, cupping her face in his hands.

“I don’t know,” she whimpered, looking up at him, “I’m just…overwhelmed I think."

He stroked her cheeks with his thumbs, wiping away the tears. She gave him a halfhearted smile, which did nothing to lessen his worry, and nothing to stop the tears. Her face turned somber with a slow realization. She had caught on to something that he hadn't yet.

“Steve,” she breathed, “I think…” she trailed off.

“What?” he asked.

Slowly, she placed her hand on his chest. Then very gently, she pushed him away from her. He stood back and watched her close her eyes and take a deep breath. The tears stopped almost instantly; she wiped the lingering ones away from her face. She looked calm, drastically different from what she'd just looked like. 

“I don’t understand,” he said, shaking his head slightly.

“You were in so much pain,” she breathed, pressing her hand against her forehead.

“Olivia?” Steve asked, “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know,” she said, her eyes meeting his, “I feel like I’m forgetting something…or maybe I’m remembering it.”

Steve watched her apprehensively. It dawned on him that the minute she'd touched him, every bad feeling he'd had over the past week had disappeared completely. It was almost as if she'd absorbed everything he'd felt, releasing him from his pain, then taking it on as her own, expressing it in a way he never could. She held her hand against her forehead, in the same way she'd held it the night he told her who he really was, when he told her who James Barnes really was. As though she was trying to remember something. He thought back to the first time they'd met, she had stared at him blankly after talking about living abroad...as though something had been missing, something she couldn't quite remember. 

Sam had been onto something that Steve had refused to see. He knew she wasn’t lying though; he could see that she was just as confused as he was. Whatever was going on was as surprising and new to her as it was to him. She looked up at him with wide eyes, she was terrified. 

“Hey,” he said, taking her hand in is, “You’re okay.”

“Steve,” she said softly, “Something isn’t right.”

“I know,” he nodded, “I need you to trust me okay? Can you do that?"

She nodded, but he could see the fear in her eyes. He squeezed her hand gently, then let go, and walked to his room. He grabbed the photograph of him and Bucky off his dresser and brought it back into the kitchen, setting it upside down on the counter.

“What is that?” she asked him.

“Can I ask you a few questions?” Steve asked.

“What is happening?” she asked.

“I’m not really sure,” he said honestly, “but I think together we can figure this out.”

“Okay,” she nodded.

“When we first met, you told me you spent some time travelling,” he said, “do you remember for how long?”

“Yeah, three years,” she nodded. Then she looked up at Steve, her brow furrowed, “That doesn’t make any sense,” she said softly. “Len would never let me travel abroad for three years. 

“Why not?” Steve asked.

“We’re very…attached,” Olivia said, “She’s always wanted me close. I thought she funded the entire thing but that doesn't make any sense. Maybe a month or two...but three years," Olivia scoffed, her eyes darted back and forth as she tried to piece things together.

“Do you remember where you were?” he asked.

“I was in…um,” she winced and pressed her hands to the sides of her temples. “I don’t know,” she groaned slumping forward. 

“Olivia stop,” Steve said rushing towards her, “We’re done, no more questions. You don't need to figure this out tonight. Maybe your aunt has some more information, we can wait to ask her."

“No," Olivia said shaking her head in her hands, "I'm doing this."

“I’m calling Tony okay?” Steve said reaching into his pocket and pulling out his phone.

“Ask me your questions Steve,” she breathed heavily.

“Olivia, you’re in pain, I think we’re done," Steve said firmly.

“Steve,” she said looking up at him, “I somehow just felt every emotion you’ve been bottling up for days. I absorbed them and felt them as if they were my own. All of a sudden, three years of my life are foggy at best. I need to know what’s going on and you, for whatever reason, seem to have some sort of idea. Ask me your questions. Now."

Steve sighed, dropping his head back. Pulling Bucky out of his brainwashed state had nearly killed him. If someone had altered Olivia’s memories, he could be putting them both in danger by digging around. But she was glaring at him with determined eyes, so he picked up the photograph and handed it to her without saying a word.

“What is this?” she asked, taking it from him.

“I think you might know the person in this photograph,” he replied, watching her with sad eyes, “I’m afraid that maybe you worked with him. Maybe the people you worked for did this to you...erased your memories."

“Worked with him?” she said tilting her head, "I've only ever worked at the bookstore."

“Just take a look,” he said.

He watched her turn the picture over. Her brow furrowed as she studied the faces. Her fingers trailed over Bucky’s and she looked up at Steve with confused eyes.

“He came in...to the store," she said looking up at him, "I remember his eyes. Ah shit," she said, pressing her fingers against her temple. "My head is pounding Steve."

"From him?" Steve asked.

“I don't know," she said squeezing her eyes shut, "Who is he?"

“That’s James Barnes,” Steve said, “Better known as Bucky.”

She gasped as the framed photograph dropped from her hands. It shattered on the floor beneath her; her head dropped back into her hands.

“Olivia?” Steve said sharply, bending down, his eyes searching for hers.

"Bucky," she groaned, "Steve I know him. I didn't know his name...for a long time. He didn't know his name. I'm going to be sick."

Steve gathered her hair in one of his hands as she leaned over to vomit in his sink. His other hand rubbed her back gently until she finished. When she was done she leaned forward pressing her head against his chest and cried. He held her tightly, resting his cheek on the top of her head. He didn't know what else to do, so he lifted her off his counter and carried her to his room, placing her on his bed. Then he did the only other thing he could think of and pulled out his phone to call Tony. 

“Steve, hi, I’ve been thinking about this whole Avenger’s Tower thing,” Tony started.

“Tony, I need your help,” Steve said cutting him off.

Tony balked at the urgency in Steve’s voice. Steve recognized they’d just been through hell and back, but this couldn’t wait.

“Sure Steve, what’s going on?” Tony asked.

“I don’t really know,” Steve replied truthfully.

“Alright,” said Tony, “I’m on my way.”

“Steve,” Olivia said softly, “Dial my aunt’s number, will you?” she asked, sliding her phone towards him.

He did as she asked and handed the phone back to her.

“Hi Len,” she grunted into the phone, “I need you to come to New York…now.”

She hung up the phone and threw it down on Steve’s bed. Steve gently brushed his hand through her hair, she closed her eyes and moved towards him, resting her head against his leg.

“I’m sorry Steve,” she murmured.

“Sorry?” Steve asked, baffled.

“Yeah,” she nodded, “You wanted things to be uncomplicated and I’ve just complicated everything in the worst way possible.”

Steve laughed softly. He took her hand in his and brought it up to his lips. She smiled as he kissed it, then brought it back down, still holding it tightly.

“I don’t care if things are complicated,” he said, “I can handle complication.”

As the words came out of his mouth, he knew they weren’t entirely true. He could handle some complication, but not when it came to Bucky. Bucky was eating away at him, why he’d gone to find her after regaining his memories. Steve had two theories: Bucky wanted her dead or in some capacity, Bucky cared about her and needed to know she was okay. She was curled up against him, which lead him to lean towards the latter. But Bucky was smart, if he did want her gone, he’d find a way to do it. Either way…Bucky had inescapably complicated things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you are all enjoying! Things are starting to be revealed! Please don't hesitate to leave comments, I'm always happy to get feedback :) And I promise...Bucky is coming.


	8. Let Them Take Care of You Liv

Olivia lay in her bed staring up at the ceiling. Sun streamed in through her window, but she’d been awake for hours. Thanks to Tony, the pain in her head had been reduced to a dull throbbing. Whatever he had given her was working, unless she tried to recall anything from the three years she’d lost, then the pain would start up again tenfold. Tony and Steve had brought her back to her apartment. She noticed that Tony hadn’t recovered from Sokovia as quickly as Steve had, his face still littered with bruises. Guilt consumed her as she watched the two of them move around her, fixing her dinner and making sure she was alright. She told them multiple times that they didn’t have to do it, that they didn’t have to stay with her. Neither listened. Instead they put her to bed and camped out in her living room.

She appreciated them staying. She appreciated them coming over and taking care of her in the first place, but their presence also made her feel raw. The embarrassment over the entire situation had come and gone. Now she just felt vulnerable. The truth was that they weren’t just two friends who took care of her and slept in her living room on one of the worst nights of her life. They were two very high-profile men, who possibly understood her situation more than she did. She didn’t feel any different than before, but they way Tony and Steve were tiptoeing around her proved that she was.

Her stomach turned. She realized that she hadn’t eaten in what had realistically been about a day. Whatever had been in her stomach, she’d thrown up in Steve’s sink. The slight grumbling wasn’t enough to convince her that she’d be able to eat. Aside from the three mystery years that were haunting her, there was another piece of the puzzle that made her feel that much worse. Lena. She’d always had a very open and honest relationship with Lena. The realization that Lena knew things about Olivia’s past that she hadn’t shared or that she’d had any involvement with the three years that Olivia couldn’t remember, was eating away at her. Anxiety buzzed throughout her body as she thought about seeing Lena.

Slowly, she sat up in her bed. On the other side of her door, she could hear Steve and Tony’s voices and a rustling around in her kitchen. A small smile spread across her face as she realized that they were arguing over how to make a proper cup of coffee. She pulled herself from her bed, absolutely positive that neither of them would succeed in making coffee to her standards.

They both froze, turning to face her as she opened the door. The smell of coffee assaulted her senses, they had definitely burned it.

“Morning Olive,” Tony grinned cheerily.

“Morning,” she grumbled.

Despite Tony’s cheery disposition, he looked exhausted. Steve looked less tired, but she knew he probably hadn’t slept at all. He smiled at her, but she sensed something was off about him.

“Alright, you two, you should go home,” she said nodding her head towards her front door, “Lena should be here soon anyway.”

Tony sucked in a breath and glanced at Steve. Steve ran his hand through his hair, his smile tightened as he watched her. Olivia’s eyes narrowed at them.

“What?” she asked, glancing between the two of them.

“I’m gonna hand this one over to you Cap,” Tony said backing up to lean against Olivia’s kitchen counter.

“Listen, Liv,” Steve said slowly, “I know you have a lot of questions.”

“I think that’s a bit of an understatement,” Olivia scoffed.

“Yeah, absolutely,” Steve nodded, “it’s just that…”

“It’s just what Steve?” Olivia asked, eyeing him warily.

“Bucky is somehow involved in all of this,” he said.

“So?” she asked, ignoring the burning feeling in her head at his name.

“Well…” he hesitated, “I have questions of my own. Maybe your aunt knows something about him…about Bucky.”

He crossed his arms over his chest, like he was squaring up to argue with her. The burning intensified as Steve repeated his name. It wasn’t enough to distract her from the anger that was rising up inside of her. A small, disbelieving laugh escaped her lips. She glanced up at Tony.

“He’s joking right,” she asked.

“Oh boy Olive,” Tony sighed, “I really wish I could tell you he wasn’t.”

“Tony, stay out of this,” Steve said, sharply turning his head to look at him.

Tony chortled and shook his head. He pushed himself off the counter and moved slowly to stand in front of Steve. It didn’t matter that Steve was taller, and much, much larger than him, he was unfazed.

“Let’s get one thing straight Cap,” Tony said, jabbing a finger into Steve’s chest. “ _you_ involved me. I am always more than happy to help out a couple of friends, but you don’t get to dictate in what capacity. She asked me a question and I answered honestly.”

Steve breathed in, dropping his head back. Tony turned from him and moved towards Olivia. He smiled warmly at her as he placed his hands on her shoulders.

“For what it’s worth, I think you should let us stay,” he said gently. “Steve’s an idiot, who granted, is a little obsessed with his childhood pal…”

Steve huffed behind them but did the smart thing and kept his mouth shut.

“Despite all of that, he does care about you, and he does have your best interest at heart. And so do I,” Tony finished.

Olivia sighed, nodding slightly at Tony. He retreated from in between her and Steve. Steve gave her a crooked smile and a small shrug.

“I gotta know,” he said softly.

“Fine,” Olivia nodded, “but I ask the questions.”

Steve’s lips formed a thin line as he stared her down. She knew he didn’t like it, but if he wanted his answers, he’d have to accept her terms. He nodded, throwing his hands up in defeat. He breezed past them silently to the front door.

“Let me know when you need me again,” he said swinging the door open and letting it slam behind him.

Olivia stared wordlessly at her front door, her mouth agape. She turned to Tony, who stood behind her with his hands in his pockets. He wasn’t surprised. The sudden realization hit, that Steve Rogers was not as unflappable as he tried to seem, and that people knew it.

“What was that,” Olivia breathed, dropping into her armchair.

“What you just witnessed my dear Olive, was Steve Rogers realizing that he’s wrong and staunchly refusing to admit it,” Tony sighed. “Steve is a great guy, I mean it,” he added in response to Olivia’s snort, “but you have to keep in mind the shit storm he’s been through. Especially when it comes to Barnes. If you want to be involved with him, in any way, you have to know two things; first, he’d do just about anything for Barnes, and second is that he’s a giant mess of a human being.”

“So I’m gathering,” Olivia said flatly.

“This is a lot for you,” Tony said, “but it’s a lot for him too. The one woman who he’s shown any interest in for seventy plus years, also happens to be linked to his presumably dead best friend, who was brainwashed by a super evil organization that was trying to kill him. As far as he knows…as far as any of us know…you might have been brainwashed by them too.”

“Christ that is a lot,” Olivia groaned.

“He’ll be back,” Tony assured her, “with an apology I’m sure, but don’t expect it to be big or flashy or anything. He doesn’t really do big flashy apologies.”

She thought back to the night he told her who she was. He apologized sure, but there was a lot of defending and deflection.

“No kidding,” Olivia chuckled.

There was a soft knock at her door. She glanced at it apprehensively, it was either her aunt or Steve. Tony smiled reassuringly at her and nodded his head towards the door. Groaning, she stood to open it.

Steve stood on the other side, leaning his arm up against the door frame. He didn’t look down at her right away, but looked past her instead, very clearly still disgruntled.

“Well that was fast,” she said, with a small smirk.

“I’m sorry,” he grunted.

“I don’t remember calling you back over here,” she said.

“Oh, now I regret coming back,” he said with a short laugh.

“Did you come back for me or for your friend?” Olivia asked, raising an eyebrow.

Finally, he looked down at her. His eyes met hers, his mouth turned into regretful smile. She reached out and took his hand in hers. He didn’t need to apologize; she could feel the remorse rippling off of him. She smiled at him and nodded.

“Alright Steve,” she said tugging him lightly, “you can come back in.”

Tony chuckled behind them. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed three mugs out of Olivia’s cupboard. He poured three generous cups of coffee, then handed one to Steve and one to Olivia, sipping his own.

“Oh, that’s bad,” Olivia said, spitting her mouthful back into her mug.

“Well Steve made it,” Tony shrugged.

Steve opened his mouth to argue but was cut off by a sharp rapping at Olivia’s door. Olivia’s breath hitched in her throat; she knew it was Lena. She could feel Steve and Tony’s eyes watching her as she watched the door. The knocking came again. Olivia moved slowly towards the door, heart pounding as she opened it.

Lena looked tired, there were dark circles forming under her deep brown eyes. Still, she smiled warmly at Olivia. But she was anxious, Olivia could feel it radiating off her. Lena reached out wrapping her arms around Olivia, pulling her into a loving embrace. It was too difficult for Olivia to resist her. She knew Lena had kept secrets, but she melted into her aunt anyway.

“Liv,” Lena said into her ear, “I’m sorry my love. I have so much to explain.”

“Yeah, you really do,” Olivia laughed softly.

“You want to explain why Tony Stark and Steve Rogers are in your apartment first though?” Lena asked, pulling back to look at Olivia.

“Right,” Olivia nodded, “Well…Steve lives down the hall from me and, we are…we’re um…well he’s a friend. And Tony…uh walked into my bookstore one day and invited me to a party because of uh…none of this makes any sense does it?” Olivia rambled.

“Not even a little,” Lena smirked.

“Oh boy,” Tony said behind her.

Steve stepped forward, offering his hand to Lena. She took him in cautiously. Olivia wasn’t sure what Lena knew of him, but she took his hand and shook it.

“I’m Steve,” he said, smiling at her.

“Lena,” she replied, “Thank you for looking out for this one,” she added, nodding her head towards Olivia.

“I don’t think she needed my help much,” Steve chuckled.

“She might,” Lena sighed, her attention turning back towards Olivia. “Then again…you might need hers.”

“Should we sit?” Tony asked, gesturing towards Olivia’s dining room table.

Olivia smiled at Tony and nodded, grateful to him for trying to move things along. Olivia sat in between Tony and Steve, her aunt directly across from her. A million questions swarmed her brain and she couldn’t figure out where to start.

“Lena,” she said finally, “what the hell is going on?”

Lena sighed. She folded her hands on top of the table, then looked up at Olivia.

“First let me say that everything I have done has been to protect you,” she said, “and second, I was going to tell you everything when the timing was right. The timing came just a little quicker than I had anticipated.”

Olivia nodded her head reassuringly at her aunt. Lena looked drained and weary. The fine lines at the corners of her eyes looked deeper than the last time Olivia had seen her. Gray began to pepper her dark hair. Olivia still thought she was the most beautiful woman she’d ever see. It was the way she held herself, despite everything, she kept her dignified poise.

“By now you obviously know that you have special abilities,” she started, “so did your mother…and so do I. Your mother was a lot like you. She was a telepath, she could read people’s thoughts and project her own into other’s minds. You can do a little of the same…as long as an emotional connection is made, but you’re an empath first, a strong one at that. Most empaths can’t manipulate people’s emotions the way you can, let alone use their power to speak telepathically.”

As Olivia listened, images of Bucky flashed in and out of her mind. Whatever connection Lena was talking about, Olivia knew she’d made it with him. She shivered realizing that many of her nightmares weren’t hers at all, but his.

“What can you do?” Olivia asked.

“I can manipulate people’s memories, add fake ones…take real ones away,” Lena replied.

Olivia nodded, understanding what she meant. That’s why she had thought she’d spent three years travelling. Lena had implanted those memories; she was trying to protect her.

“Before you were born, we volunteered to be a part of an experiment. We thought it could help us understand ourselves better, but we had no idea what we were getting into. HYDRA,” she glanced at Steve.

Steve clenched his hands so tightly that his knuckles turned white. His lips formed a thin line, but the rest of his face he kept schooled.

“Your father was one of the lead scientists,” Lena explained, “and his brother would eventually become the director of SHIELD, all the while working for HYDRA.”

“What happened to them?” Olivia asked firmly.

Lena’s lip quivered as she sucked in a deep breath, “They both tried very hard to hide you, but it was no use. HYDRA is everywhere, they found out, and your father paid the price. Your mother was too important though, and so were you.”

Steve shifted in his seat. He reached out and placed his hand gently on her knee. He gave her knee a soft squeeze. Olivia could feel how uncomfortable he was. She appreciated him trying to comfort her despite it.

“Alexei had been working for them too,” Lena said, starting her story again. “He’d grown weary of their experiments; grown a conscience I guess you could say. He helped us escape, he’s been keeping us safe ever since. When your mother died, he was the one who contacted me. We tried to keep you out of their hands…and for many years we succeeded. But your uncle is relentless, he found you a little over three years ago. We thought we’d lost you,” Lena finished in a shaky voice.

Olivia stared down at her at her hands, clasped in her lap. She could feel three sets of eyes watching her, she desperately wished they wouldn’t. Blinking back hot tears, she looked up, her eyes meeting Steve’s. His mouth opened and closed, unsure of what to say. But she didn’t need him to say anything to her, what she needed was for him to ask the questions he’d come to ask, she needed him to take alleviate the attention from her.

“I’m sorry,” said Steve, turning his attention to Lena, “but Olivia mentioned someone, James Barnes. He worked for HYDRA also and…”

“I know him,” Lena interrupted, “he’s the reason Olivia is sitting here with us now.”

“What?” Olivia asked breathlessly.

Lena stood and crossed over to Olivia. She kneeled down in front of her, so that they were face to face. Smiling softly, she brushed back the curls from Olivia’s face.

“I never erased any of your memories, I only masked them,” she said, “I think now is a good time to unmask them.”

She placed her hands on either side of Olivia’s face and pressed her forehead against Olivia’s. Olivia gasped as the fuzzy spots in her mind cleared up. Her memories came rushing back and her headache dissipated completely.

“They used me to control him, make him compliant,” Olivia said, “and they were forcing him to train me to be his partner. Steve, you were my way in, he remembered you and all of the brainwashing they’d done started to crumble.”

Steve breathed in, his eyes searching hers.

“I don’t know where he is Steve,” she said, shaking her head, “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay,” he replied, giving her knee another squeeze.

“Lena,” Tony said, “what did you mean when you said Barnes was the reason Olivia is sitting her with us?” he asked.

“He went back for her,” Lena said to Tony. “He showed up at my door with you. I erased the memory from his mind, and he left.”

“Why did you erase it?” Olivia asked.

“Olivia,” Lena sighed, “you’re very strong, the connection you made with him was too powerful. He knew where they were keeping you in D.C. without ever seeing the place. He didn’t understand it, he barely knew who he was. Barnes was unhinged and quite frankly, he was suffering. I needed to alleviate some of the stress.”

Olivia nodded, Lena had of course, made the right call. Lena may have erased the memory, but she couldn’t erase the connection. He had somehow ended up at her bookstore, and they were still sharing dreams.

“Well this has been incredibly enlightening,” Tony said lightly, “who knew that the first girl you’d bring home also happened to have such a wild backstory am I right Steve?”

Steve glared at Tony, but he couldn’t deny that he’d lightened the mood at least. Olivia couldn’t help but chuckle at his quip. Even Lena cracked a smile.

“Anymore questions?” Lena asked.

“Yeah,” Olivia nodded, “How do I control it? How do I stop myself from feeling every feeling that possess those around me?”

“Practice,” Lena shrugged.

“Hate that,” Olivia sighed.

“Walk me to the door Olivia,” Lena said with a smile.

Olivia nodded and followed her aunt out into the hallway. She felt a wave of appreciation and fondness towards Lena. She’d gone through so much, just to keep Olivia safe. Lena smiled at her and lovingly tucked some hair behind her ear.

“You took this all like a champ, my dear Olivia,” she said, “I am so proud of you.”

“Do you have to go? You literally just got here.”

“I do,” Lena nodded, “I have to stop in and let Alexei know that you know everything, and I have work in the morning. Plus…I think your boys need you in there more than you need me right now.”

“Those idiots,” Olivia laughed.

“Let them take care of you Liv, they’re good ones.”

“I know.”

Olivia smiled softly, thinking about how they’d stayed, when they most definitely should have been at home, recovering. Steve might be a human disaster and Tony might be entirely too nosy for his own good, but she had grown to care deeply about them.

“Be careful with Steve though,” Lena cautioned, “I can’t tell you what to do of course, but try not to lead him on.”

“What? Lead him on?”

Lena smiled and nodded, but didn’t elaborate. She wrapped Olivia in a firm embrace, holding her tightly. Olivia decided to let it go, melting into her aunt’s arms.

“I’ll call you,” Lena said.

“Love you Len” Olivia replied.

She watched Lena walk down the hallway and board the elevator. Once the doors closed, Olivia turned and walked back into her apartment. Her brain was fried, she was far too exhausted to notice that Steve and Tony and stopped talking abruptly. She collapsed onto her sofa; her arm draped over her eyes, blocking out the light.

“Well that was a lot to take in,” she sighed.

“No kidding,” said Steve, “How are you doing?”

He walked over to her and lifted her legs, sitting beneath them as he asked. Tony too made his way back into her living room, dropping into the armchair.

“I’m fine,” she lied.

“I don’t believe that for one second,” Tony drawled.

“Alright, I’m not fine,” she sighed, “I’m beat.”

“Not to uh…add on to anything,” Tony started, “but we were wondering…well, we’re sort of putting together a new team…and we were thinking you might have a place on it.”

“Tony, I’m really not in the mood for jokes,” Olivia groaned.

Their silence was deafening. She dropped her arm to her stomach and eyed Steve, then sat up to look at Tony. They were very clearly not joking.

“You guys,” she scoffed, “I have no idea how to work my powers…I mean, I absorbed like a lifetime’s worth of angst and sadness from Rogers, just by touching his face.”

“That was hardly a lifetime’s worth,” Steve laughed.

“Holy shit Steve,” Olivia gaped, “Do you have team therapist at that fancy tower of yours?”

“Don’t need one,” Tony shrugged.

“Christ,” Olivia said, dropping back onto the sofa cushions.

“It’s more than the empath thing Olive,” Tony said, “if Barnes was training you to be his partner…then you have some pretty valuable skills that I know Nat would love to help you develop.”

“You’re nuts,” Olivia laughed.

“You have time to consider it,” Tony said standing, “We’re moving headquarters to a more remote location. Think about my little Olive.”

Tony bent down and gently pinched her cheek. He scratched her scalp gently, then messed up her hair a little.

“If you keep doing shit like that, it’s going to be a hard ‘no’,” Olivia scowled.

“I’ve gotta go,” he grinned, “Steve, I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah.”

“Bye Tony,” Olivia sang.

“Goodbye Ollie Olive,” Tony replied, stepping through her door, “I’ll see you soon…you know, once you’ve decided to join our team.”

Olivia threw a couch pillow at him. It hit the door as he closed it behind him. She chuckled and shook her head. He was crazy, she was sure of that.

“I really think you should consider it Liv,” said Steve after a moment.

“Steve c’mon, this is crazy,” she sighed.

“It isn’t,” he protested, “You would be with us, learning how to use your empathy, honing in your fighting skills. It could be a perfect opportunity for you.”

“You just want to keep an eye on me.”

“Well that too,” he nodded truthfully.

“I’ll think about it.”

“That’s all I ask.”

They were quiet for a few moments. She tried not to engage his emotions, but he was so aggressively nervous that even if she had complete control over her empathy, it would have been hard for her to ignore.

“What is it Steve,” she said finally.

“Jeeze I really can’t hide anything from you can I?”

“Seems like no.”

“Alright Liv,” Steve said softly, “I have to know…do you think it’s possible…I mean…do you think you could find him?”

Olivia considered Steve for a moment. The answer was unequivocally ‘yes’. There connection was strong enough. There was something else though, something she’d remembered when Lena had restored her memories. Barnes hated her, and with good reason. She’d tinkered in his brain no different from the way HYDRA had. And honestly, he wasn’t her favorite person either. Flashbacks of their training sessions had come to mind. Sessions where more often then not, he’d work her until she could hardly move, showing her little to no mercy.

“Is that what you want?” Olivia asked sharply.

“I just need to know that he’s okay,” Steve said.

He was desperate, she didn’t need to be an empath to know that. She knew he’d never let it go if she said no. He’d keeping asking her until she changed her mind.

“Yeah okay,” she nodded curtly, “I’ll do my best.”

Steve smiled at her, but he didn’t look please. Instead, his eyes turned sad as he pressed his hand against her cheek. She couldn’t fathom why she felt a tinge of regret coming off him, or where his melancholy was coming from.

“Thank you.”

“Steve what's wrong? You should be thrilled.”

“Ah Liv,” he sighed, “you don’t get to know everything.”

She had the sudden urge to kiss him. She almost did, before the thought crossed her mind that it might not be entirely her desire, but his. He brushed his thumb against her cheek, and she held her hand against his. 

"Steve," she started.

"C'mon Liv, let's get something to eat, you must be starving."

He stood, and offered her his hand. Whatever was going on with him, he didn't want to talk about it. She took his hand. He pulled her up and she pressed herself into him, wrapping her arms around his torso. He chuckled softly and hugged her close, kissing the top of her head softly.

"Alright, alright, let's go," he said into her hair.

"Yeah Steve, c'mon already I'm starving."

He laughed, shaking his head. She grabbed his hand hand pulled him out of her apartment behind her. Later, they would go back to her apartment to start packing up her things. She texted Alexei that she would be moving out, he responded with:

_"Yes, good. Come visit the bookstore often Maylshka, we will miss you."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was really difficult to write. It took me foreeever, but I knew it was important to deliver some background and answers. I hope you all enjoy! :) Please don't hesitate to leave comments or questions!


	9. I'm Not the One

“Steve, she’s doing it again!”

Steve sighed, turning away from the dishes in the kitchen sink. Clint, Nat, and Olivia were sitting at the kitchen table, eating lunch after an extra long training session. Tears were streaming down Clint’s face and his shoulders shook from crying. Steve gave Olivia a scolding look.

“Liv, c’mon,” he said, exasperated.

“You told me I needed to practice!”

“On everyone, not just Barton!”

“To be fair, he did play dirty during training today,” Natasha shrugged, “so maybe he kind of deserves it?”

“I just feel,” Clint sobbed, “like maybe we could try a different emotion?”

“Let it all out Barton,” Olivia said patting Clint heartily on the back.

“Clint, Nat, clear out,” Steve barked.

Natasha and Clint pushed their chairs out. Natasha gave Olivia a reassuring squeeze as she passed her on her way out. Steve glared down at Olivia. It had been a little over a month since she joined the team; and a little over a month since Tony left. Steve had noticed Tony slowly declining into an almost madness, obsessing over making sure the Avengers roster was full. Finding Earth’s best protectors and training up the ones they had, began to consume him. So, Steve, Pepper, and Rhodey, just about the only three people in the world he’d listen to, intervened. Pepper took him away to refocus, leaving Steve to head the team without him.

It had started out fine. Olivia settled in easily, working incredibly well with Natasha and Rhodey. Nat was a great co-leader, but she had her own way of running things. Slowly, things started breaking down. No one could get Wanda out of her room, Steve didn’t blame her for still mourning the loss of her twin, but he needed her. Rhodey was fantastic, but he had a hard time taking direction from Steve, and he wasn’t always around. Sam still hadn’t committed fully to joining. Vision was ready and willing to learn, but lacked common social graces, that often offended other members of the team. Then there was Olivia and Clint, the two couldn’t spend more than two minutes together before a fight broke out. Added to all of that, there was a never-ending sink full of dishes that Steve could never get empty because someone or multiple someones were getting in his way. All in all, Steve was suffering.

He sat down across from Olivia and dropped his head in his hand. His stress slowly began to subside, a feeling of serenity washed over him.

“Knock it off Olivia,” he said sharply.

“I’m trying to help. You look like you haven’t slept in days.”

“Liv,” he sighed, “you can’t just go around manipulating people’s emotions without their consent.”

“I don’t do that,” she said simply.

“You just did…twice.”

He lifted his head to meet her gaze. She was leaning back in her chair, her arms crossed over her chest. A little over a month ago he had told her that he could handle complicated. By now, she knew that was a lie. They’re relationship had deteriorated, to say the least. They both knew it wasn’t just because Steve was dealing with an entire team of misfits either.

“Well what do you want from me Steve?” she asked in a low voice. “It would be nice if you could let me know, because right now, I’m at a little bit of a loss…seeing as you’ve been avoiding direct contact with me for weeks now.”

“I’ve been…busy,” he grunted.

“Oh, yes,” she laughed bitterly, “busy. Alright.”

“I have been!” he argued.

“Well maybe if you let some of us help you, you wouldn’t be in this position.”

Her words were biting, and they stung in a way Steve hadn’t realized possible. Still, she had a point. He nodded slowly.

“Maybe you’re right,” he sighed.

“I’m sorry Steve,” she said, “about intervening with your emotions. I thought I was helping.”

“It’s fine,” he returned.

“Maybe I should go home.”

“Liv c’mon, you are home.”

“You brought me here to help find Barnes, but I can’t. He’s gone. I don’t know where he is and I can’t reach him,” she said looking down at her hands.

Steve leaned forward, placing his hands gently on hers.

“That isn’t the only reason I brought you here Olivia,” he smiled. “You’ve been killing it in your training with Nat. We just need to…I don’t know, work on whatever problem you have with Clint.”

Olivia laughed. He missed making her laugh.

“You are only seeing one side,” she said, “he’s a real bully in training.”

“Alright, alright,” Steve nodded, “well maybe you can make some sort of amends with him? Torture someone else with your emotional manipulation for a bit.”

“I hate when you call it that,” she grumbled, pushing away from the table.

“Liv wait,” he groaned as she walked past him.

“It’s fine Steve, I’ll see you around.”

* * *

Olivia was past being angry with Steve. It had been easy at first to blame him for everything. He was after all the one avoiding her. Over time she realized how hard it was for him leading the team without Tony. Her anger turned into compassion. She made more than one attempt to reach out to him, to help get his mind off of things. After being brushed off again and again, her anger flared…then gradually dissipated into something a sad resignation. He didn’t want her help, he didn’t want anyone’s help, but she knew that he especially didn’t want hers.

Something had changed in him the minute he’d asked her to help him find Barnes. He shut down and pushed her away. It had occurred to her that he was creating distance between them to make their professional lives easier. She was, after all, working for him now. More importantly, they both knew that what he was asking of her was risky. If Barnes was still volatile in anyway, if he recognized her as just another HYDRA lackey, the results could be disastrous. She didn’t stand a chance against the Winter Soldier and they both knew it.

The hurt that this realization caused was layered and multifaceted. First, it meant that their attachment wasn’t as strong as she thought it was, or at least that his wasn’t. Second, and harder to swallow, was that no matter how much he did care about her, he cared about finding his childhood buddy more. He cared about Barnes enough to risk losing her in order to get him back.

She didn’t have time to deal with any of it, however. Natasha was kicking her ass in training and Clint was not making things any easier, mocking her in training or doing something that caused her to slip up. Outside of trainings, she had to deal with Vision and Wanda. Vision mildly terrified her because she couldn’t get any sort of read on him. She knew why, but that didn’t help. Wanda was the hardest. Olivia couldn’t escape Wanda’s grief. It was too great, and Olivia could feel it throughout the entire compound. The only person other than Natasha who seemed to like Olivia, was Rhodey. She found him to be a comfort, but he was often gone on business. 

So, as much as she hated to do it, she climbed up the stairs, to Clint’s bedroom, to try and make another friend. There were a few rules for entering Clint’s bedroom. Normally he didn’t wear his hearing aids when he was up in his room, so if the door was open it all, that meant it was alright to come in. Tony had installed a visual doorbell for him; if his door was closed, that was to be used to alert his attention to whoever was trying to reach him.

His door was slightly ajar, so she knew it was alright to enter. She gently pushed it open further, but to her surprise he was sitting on his bed, with his back to the door. Normally, the entrance would be in his direct line of sight. His hearing aids were on his desk, so she knew he wouldn’t be able to hear her. She weighed her options. The last thing she wanted to do was alarm him right before trying to make amends. She didn’t think that influencing his emotions in anyway would be beneficial to her cause either.

“You can come in Olivia,” he said in a dry voice.

She jumped at his words.

“I’m sorry,” she said quickly.

“If you’re saying something, I can’t hear it,” he said.

He finally turned to face her. A smile broke out across his face as he saw the horrified look on Olivia’s face. He stood and walked over to his desk, grabbed his hearing aids and went back to his bed. Olivia sat at his desk chair that he gestured for her to take.

“Alright, why are you here?” he asked.

“I’m here to apologize,” she replied.

Clint’s mouth dropped open slightly.

“Well…uh, thanks I guess,” he said awkwardly.

“You know,” said Olivia, “you were my favorite.”

“What?”

“When you and Nat and Sam all decided to come pay me a little visit at the bookstore, you were my favorite.”

Clint narrowed his eyes at her. She knew he wouldn’t believe her, but it was the truth.

“Not buying it,” he said, crossing his arms, “Tony came in too. He’s your favorite.”

“Okay well right now I don’t have a favorite,” Oliva said shaking her head, “but when I first met everyone, you were my favorite. You were easy to talk to and you made me laugh. Also, I thought it was sweet how you weirdly cared so much about a complete stranger’s personal problems.”

“Well,” he shrugged, “you weren’t totally a stranger.”

“Yes, but I didn’t know that,” Olivia grinned.

“So, what happened?” Clint asked.

“You tell me.”

“What?”

“I can tell when someone has a problem with me Barton,” she sighed, “and it isn’t just because I can read people’s emotions.”

“Fine,” he groaned, “I have a hard time trusting what I can’t see. It’s easy with the others. I know what to expect. With you…I never know when you’re reading my emotions, manipulating them, or giving me entirely new ones. It’s weird and it freaks me out.”

Olivia considered him for a moment. His reasoning was more than valid. Her little gift was still so new to her and there was so much about it that she had to figure out.

“You’re right,” she nodded, “I don’t always know how to control it, but when I do, I shouldn’t be using it on my friends…or people who I am desperately trying to make a friend out of. I’m sorry.”

Clint watched her for a moment. It took a great deal of restraint to stop herself from reading his emotions. She recognized how important it was in this moment and walled up her power.

“Alright Livvy,” he said finally, “we can work on the friends thing.”

Olivia smiled; she didn’t love the nickname, but if it helped move their friendship along, she’d take it. She stood and put out her hand for Clint to shake. He grinned at her, standing as well, and took her hand, pulling her into a hug.

“Of course,” he said, “you do realize that this means I’m only going to be more annoying now.”

“Great,” she laughed.

There was a soft knock at the door and they both turned to see Steve standing in the doorway. He crossed his arms, grinning at them.

“All sorted then?” he asked.

“We’re good,” Clint nodded.

“I’ll see you later Barton,” Olivia said, giving him a wink as she walked out.

She breezed past Steve, accidentally knocking into him.

“Guess you two aren’t good,” Olivia heard Clint say.

“Liv wait,” Steve called after her.

He didn’t need to try very hard to keep up with her, still, she wasn’t about to stop and have a conversation with him in the hallway. When she finally made it to her room, she stopped and turned on him.

“Can I help you?” she asked.

“Yeah actually,” he nodded, “Sam is on his way out here. He has a lead on Bucky. I’m sending you two out tonight.”

“Fine.”

“Liv,” he started.

“Can I just…can I…I’m going to get ready, pack my stuff…”

“I am sorry if I was…insensitive,” he said.

“Okay, great, thank you.”

She didn’t want a conversation with him. He had pushed her away and she stopped trying to find the reason why. She was afraid that he would confirm her fears, that he cared more about finding Barnes than he did about losing her, and that was something she couldn’t face. Especially right before being sent out to find him.

“I want to fix this,” he said softly.

“You can’t…not right now, I’m not in the headspace,” she said with a small shake of her head, “I need to focus. You’re literally sending me out to find your brainwashed best friend. Steve…he hates me…he’s so quick and dangerous, I’ve seen it.”

“Liv, whoa, it’s okay,” he said gently, cupping her face in his hands, “you don’t have to go. You can stay here, train more with Nat…or not. Whatever you want, it’s okay.”

“What?” she asked looking up at him.

“I asked for your help because of the connection you share, but if you’re uncomfortable then I don’t want you out there,” he said, “Sam can handle it. He’s been doing it alone for months now.”

She shook her head.

“No, I want to go,” she said.

“Okay,” Steve nodded. “Olivia, I trust Sam with my life. He’s going to take care of you. More than that…I don’t believe Bucky wants to hurt you. You have answers that he needs. And…” Steve hesitated for a moment, “anyway…I think you can help him.”

“Then why did you push me away?” she asked.

“What?” he asked.

“You’ve been pushing me away Steve,” she said, “I thought it was because you knew sending me to find Barnes was a risk. That I could die trying to bring him back to you, but that it was a risk you were willing to take.”

Steve sighed, dropping his hands from her face. He ran his hand through his hair, avoiding her gaze.

“I didn’t push you away.”

“You did and you know it.”

“Fine, maybe I did.”

She watched him squirm uncomfortably. He was weighing his options, thinking it all through in his head. Finally, he looked down at her. He gave her a crooked smile as he reached out for her hand.

“I can’t believe you thought I was pushing you away because I thought you were going to die,” he said as he placed her hand to his face.

“What are you doing?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t have the right words,” he said, “I don’t know how to say it…so, do your thing Olivia.”

She gaped at him for a moment, realizing that he wanted her to read his emotions. He couldn’t say how he felt, he needed her to feel it. Her thumb brushed gently against his jawline as she focused. The overwhelming urge to kiss him came back again. This time it was too powerful to resist. She knew it was coming from him, but it was coming from her too.

Her other hand weaved into the hair at the base of his neck, she had to stand on her toes to reach his lips. He smiled at her briefly, understanding what was about to happen. They stumbled awkwardly as she pressed her lips against his and pressed him against the wall behind him. For a moment it was perfect. But Steve hadn’t distanced himself from her because of his feelings for her, it was something else. She pulled away, looking up at him with confused eyes.

“I’m not the one Liv,” he said softly.

“I don’t understand,” she said, “I wanted that kiss as much as you did.”

“Maybe,” he shrugged, “but once it happened you knew.”

He was right. She thought the kiss would be everything she wanted, up until they actually kissed. She loved Steve deeply, but she couldn’t love him like that. He knew it and he had pushed her away because of it.

“It’s okay Liv,” he said brushing a piece of hair behind her ear.

"When did you know?" she asked.

"I think always," he said with a small smile, "I could see you trying to make yourself have feelings for me."

"Steve," Olivia groaned, dropping her head against his chest.

"Olivia it's okay," he laughed gently. He wrapped his arms around her, "I love you, and I can learn to love you as just a friend."

"I'm so sorry," she said.

He softly pushed her off of him and cupped her face in his hands again.

"You have no reason to be," he replied.

"I'm going to find him for you," Olivia said firmly, "I'm going to find him and I'm going to bring his ass here."

Steve smiled and nodded. He bent down and kissed her softly on her cheek, then brushed it gently with his thumb. There was something he wasn't telling her, something that he wouldn't let her read either, but she didn't push it. He'd given her enough of himself tonight. He nodded at her again, then turned and walked off. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter before we get back to Bucky. I'm going to be show casing her friendships here and there, but I really wanted to start with Clint. The romantic Steve plot is there to provide a little extra angst, but I promise this is not a love triangle. There will be no pinning Steve and Bucky against each other for Olivia's affections! Please feel free to leave comments, ask questions, or offer suggestions! I love to hear them!


	10. You Were So Close

“Shit!”

Olivia stood in the middle of the very crowded Bourbon St. Her eyes searched the crowd, but she knew it was in vain. The sky was darkening, the street was lighting up; he’d slipped off into the busy New Orleans street. He was gone, and she knew it. She crumpled the paper in her hand and threw it forcefully onto the ground. Groaning, she dropped down and picked it back up, dusting the dirt from it. Then, she uncrumpled it and reread it.

_Nice try Olivia, you were so close._

_-B_

She growled at the piece of paper, resisting the urge to drop it again. Her hands shook with rage as she folded it back up. He’d been so close, close enough to drop a note right in front of her face and disappear before she could even process what was happening. She didn’t know at what point she had stopped chasing him for Steve and started chasing him for her, the switch happened slowly. She couldn’t explain it, why she needed to find him so badly, but every time he slipped through her fingers, it hit her like a ton of bricks.

“What happened?” Sam panted, running up behind her.

She turned to look up at her partner, trying to desperately to regain her composure. Sam and Olivia had been tracking Bucky for two months together, and although had become fast friends, Sam was quick to point out Olivia’s often irrational emotions. He recognized that Olivia operated on large emotions. She was almost always engaging in some way with the feelings of those around her; her own feelings were bigger and bolder, charged with the ones around her. Sam understood that and Olivia was grateful for it. He also held her accountable for her outbursts and didn’t take any of her shit, another thing that Olivia was grateful for, although maybe less so.

“He was close Sam,” she said thrusting the folded-up paper at him.

Sam scrunched his forehead in confusion as he took it from her. A smirk broke out across his face as he read the note. He chuckled handing it back to her.

“He’s good Harrington,” he said.

“He’s an asshole is what he is,” Olivia said snatching the note back.

“Well I could have told you that, in fact I’m pretty sure I have told you that,” Sam laughed. “He must have been in the restaurant with us.”

“Yes,” Olivia nodded, “and he walked right past me to deliver this note.”

“Alright Liv, I’m going to need you to not freak out over this,” Sam said in a low tone, “we’ve been tracking him for months, this isn’t anything new.”

“No but this is,” she said of the note.

Sam did his best not to laugh, failing miserably. He shook his head apologetically but continued laughing. Olivia narrowed her eyes at him. She couldn’t fathom how this was funny. They had been the closest they’d ever been. Not only had he been in the restaurant with them, he had been right next to her, close enough to drop the note. She shivered at the thought.

“What is so funny?” she snapped.

“I’m sorry,” he said bracing himself over his knees, “you’re just so angry. It’s cute,” he laughed.

“Cute?” she seethed, “You think this is _cute.”_

He snorted, nodding feverishly.

“Look at you, your face is all red!”

Olivia glared at him. If she hadn’t promised him that she’d never use her power on him without his permission, he’d be in a little ball on the floor sobbing. But Olivia didn’t break promises.

“I’m leaving,” she snapped, turning on her heel.

“Wait,” he gasped standing up, “wait…. let’s just talk this through real quick.”

She crossed her arms, raising her eyebrows at him. He inhaled a deep breath and let it out, finally regaining his composure. He reached out and took her hand, pulling her off the crowded street and into a bar. They found a quiet booth in the corner of the room.

“Alright,” he said as they sat, “first, let me just say that I have been with Barnes for a lot longer than you have,” he paused and shook his head, “well this version of him anyway. None of this is new Liv. He’s good, he’s trained in being invisible, you have to remember that.”

“I know…it’s just,”

“It’s just that you thought you were going to be more helpful because of your freaky little connection, right?” Sam asked.

“Rude,” she said, “but yes.”

“Did you ever stop to consider that the connection goes both ways?” he asked. “You have gotten us as close as we’ve ever been because you can…I don’t know what you do…feel him? Maybe he can feel you too.”

Olivia paused and thought over Sam’s words. The idea had crossed her mind once or twice, how else could he have found where HYDRA was keeping her? Plus, when she’d formed the connection, he was able to hear her thoughts, feel her feelings, as much as she could hear and feel his. She had tried to replicate this with others. Steve and Clint had both let her try. Sam had even allowed her to, figuring a connection could be useful on their mission. It hadn’t worked on any of them though. She could project feelings onto them and feel theirs, but she couldn’t make the same connection.

“Okay that checks out,” she nodded. “So, what do we do?”

“Well…I think you learn to control it, since apparently he has,” Sam mumbled the last part.

“What?” Olivia asked.

Sam sighed and scratched the back of his head. He watched Olivia warily. Whatever he had to say, she wasn’t going to like hearing it.

“I think he’s learned to block you Liv,” he sighed, “He was in the same room as us and you didn’t even notice.”

“I said he was close, didn’t I?” Olivia asked sharply.

“Okay, let me rephrase, the guy was practically on top of you and you didn’t even notice,” he said.

“He wasn’t on top of me,” Olivia scoffed.

“Liv…c’mon,” Sam laughed.

“Fine,” she grumbled.

“Don’t take it personally Liv, the man’s been under some pretty serious brainwashing for the past seventy years. He’s had a whole heck of a lot of practice compartmentalizing shit like this,” said Sam.

“I’m not taking it personally,” Olivia lied.

Sam raised a disbelieving eyebrow at her. When she didn’t budge, he let out a low whistle, shaking his head.

“Look Liv, this shit is risky enough without you lying to yourself and to me,” he said.

“Fine,” Olivia said begrudgingly, “I am taking it personally. I thought that this would be easy, and maybe it was foolish of me, but I actually thought that he wouldn’t run from me.”

Sam stared at her deadpan, his mouth slightly agape.

“You thought…” he started slowly, “I’m sorry…you thought he wasn’t going to run from you? What would make you the exception?”

“He came to me at the bookstore,” she said, “why did he come to me at the bookstore?”

“Olivia, I don’t know why he came to you, I’ve been trying to work that one out myself for a while now,” said Sam. “I am going to need you to understand something. This man has been brainwashed for essentially his entire life. They erased his memories, his life, hell his entire personality. I know you don’t want to hear this, but someone has to say it, you were a part of that. You are a threat to him, as much as he is to you.”

When he finished, he watched her cautiously, waiting for an outburst. She couldn’t give it to him though, because ultimately, he was right, and she knew it. The things that she had done to him, the things he’d done to her, they were hard things to come back from.

“You’re right,” she nodded.

“Okay,” Sam said leaning back and crossing his arms, “so now that we’ve got that out of the way, what is our move?”

Olivia thought for a moment. She knew that Barnes hated her, that wasn’t new. What was new was the note, it was something he’d never done before. She pulled it out and unfolded it, laying it flat on the table in front of her. Why would he give her a note? Gently she ran her fingers over his lettering. A smile spread across her lips.

“What is it?” Sam asked.

“Wow, he’s such an asshole,” she laughed.

“Liv, care to share?” said Sam.

“He doesn’t want us to stop Sam,” she breathed. “This is exhilarating for him, having us track him. I think he likes having the company. Or maybe we’re a distraction…I don’t know.”

“How do you figure?” Sam asked.

“This note,” she said, “I can feel him. Whether he meant to or not, he imbued it with pieces of himself. I can track him through this piece of paper.”

“That is freaky as hell,” Sam said eyeing her warily.

“Come on,” she said standing, “I know where he’s going.”

“Harrington, I have been trying to eat some damn food for the past hour.”

“But I know where he’s going.”

“He’ll still be going there when I’ve finally had something to eat,” Sam said gesturing for her to sit again, “and if he’s changed his mind, well you have an addition to your quirky little power.”

Olivia groaned, slumping back into the booth across from Sam.

“Thank you,” Sam grinned, “now what do you want for dinner?”

* * *

They’d been tailing him for weeks. More than once they’d gotten close, too close for comfort, but the connection he and the girl had went both ways. He could sense her too, and that made it easy for him to dodge them. He had realized it soon after leaving New York when his nightmares stopped featuring her. They had been sharing dreams or, more accurately, sharing memories. It was a bit of a shock at first, he had to admit. But it made sense; in all of New York city, he’d somehow managed to end up standing right outside of her bookstore window. Whatever she’d done to him during their time together seemed permanent, and it affected them both.

Running had put enough distance between them to stop the exchange though. When he started seeing her face in nightmares again, he knew she was looking for him. He realized quickly that she was no longer working for HYDRA, which only temporarily eased his mind until he discovered she was working with Steve. He was confused, every time he thought he’d gotten a handle on some part of his past, another wrench was thrown in his direction. He couldn’t figure out how this girl was a link between he and Steve. On top of that, he couldn’t understand why he felt betrayed by both of them.

He should have known right away that she was working for Steve, but he was distracted by her sudden return in his life; blindsided by the softness he felt from her. The nightmares were always tinted with something other than dread and darkness when she was in them. He couldn’t decipher what the feeling was; hope maybe, although he could hardly remember what hope actually felt like. When she was close, he could feel her. It was exhausting. She was an exhausting human being, wild with emotions, and he felt every one of them. And as much as he hated the link that she’d created between them, he had to admit that on the rare occasion, it made him feel less alone. More than once he thought of letting her find him for that very reason. Maybe she felt alone too, maybe they could be alone together.

When he realized she was working with Steve he nipped that thought instantly. Instead focusing on finding a way to block her out. It was easier than he had originally thought. He was hardly a whole person, most days he struggled to remember his name, so he didn’t have very many tangible emotions to hold onto. He found that if he projected the things, he felt from her, back onto her, it blocked her from sensing him. She couldn’t sense him, she couldn’t feel him, but he could still feel her.

He knew they had followed him to New Orleans. They’d been tracking him all over the south, and he paused just long enough to let them catch up. In a moment of weakness, he turned it on them. He wanted to see how close he could get without her noticing. With a baseball cap covering his face, he followed them into a local restaurant and positioned himself close enough to eavesdrop on their conversation.

“He’s close Sam, I know it.”

“You’ve been saying that for weeks. Maybe it’s time for us to pack up and go home. He knows we’re looking for him, he knows Steve is looking for him, maybe we let him come to us.”

His head spun at Sam’s words. Sam had been with him since he’d first run from HYDRA, tracking his every move. It occurred to him now, that Sam had been losing him on purpose. Possibly, Sam understood that he wasn’t ready to face a world he was still so unsure about, that he needed time to figure out who he was and come to terms with the things he’d done.

Then again, Sam had been with him since the beginning, and with the girl joining him, he couldn’t imagine what things would look like without them. He would have to stop the constant running and actually focus on sifting through the memories to regain some semblance of who he was. His heart raced as just a few horrific images flashed through his mind.

“No, we’re not doing that.”

He could hear the sharpness, the fear in her voice as it broke a little. It was his fear that she was feeling though he wasn’t sure if she knew.

“Alright Olivia, so what’s our move.”

“Olivia”, he felt a rush of relief. Her name had bounced around his head in memories, and he finally had it. He wondered how many times he’d heard it, how many times it had been taken from him. Immediately he wrote it down, twice. Once for himself and once for her.

He watched her from the window of the café across the street. She was frantically searching the street, pushing past people, looking in every direction. A small smile played across his lips; it gave him a sense of satisfaction knowing that he’d gotten to her. Finally, she stopped searching and stood frozen in the street. She was defeated, he knew it and so did she. She looked down at the note, her eyes scanning his words. As she read his note, he felt pulled towards her. He felt the sudden urge to run out and reveal himself, and it took everything in him to stay put. She crumpled up the note and threw it on the ground, the tension in his body released. Anger swelled up inside of him and another feeling…embarrassment. He knew the emotions were hers and not his own. Now that he was slowly becoming an autonomous human again, it was easy to decipher his emotions from hers. She bent down and scooped it back up, rereading it again. Bucky laughed softly to himself. He knew she’d eventually find him again, but he picked up his things and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoy this one! As always feel free to leave comments and suggestions! I love to hear from you all :) Thank you for reading!


	11. That Asshole Took My Knife

Sam liked Olivia. Sam liked everyone, but he really liked Olivia. She was sharp and always made him laugh, whether she meant to or not. What he didn’t like was that she was under trained, rash, and almost as obsessed with Bucky as Steve was, even if she wouldn’t admit it to herself. She did have some training of course, but it was three years of training with Barnes that she was slowly remembering and only a few months with Nat before Steve sent them out. And it was understandable that, she was obsessed with finding Bucky, she probably thought he had answers to questions she had. Sam also had a very sneaking suspicion that she was harboring some guilt that she needed to unload. He wanted to be there when that happened. It wasn’t necessarily because he wanted to witness the absolute shit show that it would be, although that certainly would be interesting to watch. It was because he knew that Bucky was not going to respond the way that she wanted, he wanted to help her through the fallout of that.

All of these things separately were just, fine. However, putting her on a mission where the target was someone who she was irrationally preoccupied with and who out matched her in every way, was probably not one of Steve’s best ideas. Throw into the mix that she was rash and rarely ever stopped to think things through and well, Sam almost felt like he was working with Steve again.

Sam thought that three weeks ago, when they were in New Orleans, that it was maybe time to give up the ghost and head home. He knew that Barnes didn’t want to be found. He also knew that once Barnes did want to be found, he’d make it known. Olivia wasn’t convinced. So, Sam begrudgingly followed Olivia, who was following Barnes, to South America.

He stood in a motel room, four stories above where Olivia sat at a table outside. Sam made her choose a spot on the other side of the street, so he could see her easier. She fought him, citing that the spots on the street directly below him had more cover. She was right, but what she still didn’t understand was how dangerous Barnes was, and Sam needed to have his eyes on her at all times.

A smirk formed across his lips as he watched her, “casually” sipping a cold drink, and pretending to enjoy the sun. It wasn’t her location that made her inconspicuous though, it was more or less everything else about her. Her dark curls were sitting atop her head in a messy bun, sunglasses covered her face. She had chosen a pair of shorts and a light blue billowy shirt. That had been an argument too, she was right again, dressing in all black in the blazing sun and stifling humidity would definitely make her stick out more. This time he caved. Still, he wondered how high up her thigh holster was beneath those shorts.

“Do you see anything?” her voice rang out in his ear.

“Just your stupid ass, pretending to be a tourist,” he replied, “rather poorly I might add.”

“Well, I’m nervous,” she hissed.

“C’mon Harrington, it was a good plan, he thinks we’ve gone home.”

“We can’t be sure of that,” she said scanning the crowd.

Olivia had come up with the plan, and he had to admit, it was a pretty decent one. Barnes had been following them, getting extremely close. But he was still just outside her reach, almost entirely blocking her connection to him. Olivia knew that the only way they’d get to him was if she blocked him out as well. They staged a conversation where they decided to go home. Then they went back to their motel, packed up, and made it look like they’d left. All the while Olivia began to block his connection to her. She kept a tight hold on her emotions, keeping her reactions to things small and unassuming. They also flipped their sleep schedule, so that when Barnes was asleep, they were awake. It was annoying, but after spending so much time studying him, easy to do. It had seemed to work; she hadn’t sensed him anywhere near them in days. They went back to relying on Sam’s eye and his charming demeanor that often led them to various tips.

“Well school those nerves or else he might sense you,” Sam said, “No big feelings remember?”

“Right, stupid fucking connection, why did it have to go both ways?”

He chuckled at her sarcastic tone. 

“Okay you’re the one who created the link,” he said.

“Yes well, I was trying to help, but he doesn’t seem to think that way.”

“Well, you messed around in the guy’s head. I kind of get it.”

“Can you just shut up and look for him,” she snapped.

“You look like an actual insane person talking to yourself,” Sam sighed, “Pull out your phone if you’re going to talk to me.”

She fidgeted in her pocket and pulled out her phone, lifting it to her ear.

“Good,” said Sam, “very confused as to how you missed that lesson from training with the two best spies in the world.”

“Let’s just say mine and Barnes’ training sessions were less about the spying and more about the murdering in the quickest and most efficient way possible,” she drawled.

Sam shuddered. Olivia was small, 5’3 on a good day. The freckles that dotted her warm skin, made her face soft and gentle. It was easy to forget that she had any amount of training from the world’s deadliest assassin. He had to remind himself that once she regained her full fighting capabilities, she could very well kick his ass. So much danger in such a tiny package. 

“Do you think he’ll show up this time?” Olivia asked.

Sam was glad for the change in subject.

“I don’t know,” Sam sighed, “we’ve been out here every day this week. The woman who owns one of the shops swore to me that she's seen him though. Granted, she hadn't seen him in days, but still.”

“Maybe he’s just…biding his time, making sure we’re really gone,” Olivia said.

“You’re sure he can’t sense you?”

“Pretty sure.”

“Well, today just might be our lucky day. Stay sharp, I think I see him.”

Olivia tensed, but she didn’t make any sudden movements. There weren’t many people who would wear a baseball cap, a hoodie, and gloves on a hot day in Brazil. Yet, there he was, about ten feet from Olivia, making his way slowly through a crowd of people.

“Where?” Olivia breathed.

“Stay focused Harrington, I don’t think he notices you so don’t do anything stupid. No big emotions.” Sam said in a low voice, “Your ten, if you’re going to look, do it slow.”

But of course, she didn’t look slow. Instead her head snapped up in Bucky’s direction. Bucky must have known she was there, or at least sensed her wave of fresh emotions. As soon as she looked up at him, he froze, then turned and darted, pushing past people as he ran off down the street.

“Do not chase him Harrington,” Sam said, turning to make his way out of the hotel room.

“Too late Sam,” she panted.

“Damnit Olivia he’s dangerous!” Sam barked.

“Not to me,” she said, “sorry Sam.”

He grabbed his earpiece as static filled his ear and shoved it in his pocket. By the time he made his way out, onto the street, they were both gone.

“Shit,” he whispered to himself.

* * *

It had been six days since he’d left the small apartment, he was holed up in. Six days biding his time. Six days waiting to see if they truly had abandoned their pursuit of him and gone home. By day two the link between them was thinning. By day four the link was as faint as it had been when he’d first left New York and he was once again plagued with dark, gruesome nightmares. On day five, he was sure they’d left the country. Despite the hunger pangs in his stomach, he was completely unable to pull himself out of his depressive state. He didn’t need her; he just needed a distraction.

He hadn’t felt her in six days. She was gone, he knew she was gone. So, when he felt a rush of emotions in the midst of the crowded marketplace, emotions that he was certain were not his own, he froze. He found her instantly, surprised that he’d missed her in the first place. She was looking right at him, also frozen. She looked shocked, which he vaguely understood. Technically she hadn’t seen him since he’d shown up at her bookstore and subsequently made her blackout on the street. She must have been in shock that she'd finally caught him. It took him all of half a second to realize that she had learned to control their link too. She had played him, and he absolutely hated that.

Instinct took over. Without a second thought, he took off, pushing past people. He didn’t need to turn around to know that she was following him. There were so many emotions coming off of her that he couldn’t even distinguish one from the next.

“Wait!” he heard her call after him.

In truth, he wanted very badly to turn and confront her. He didn’t think he’d be able to control himself if he did though. The adrenaline coursing through him made him volatile and he wasn’t confident that he wouldn’t hurt her.

He didn’t know the streets of Brazil, but he continued to push past people, dodging whatever was in his way. Some stopped to watch them, no one seemed to care enough to stop the pursuit. He knew she wasn’t fast enough to keep up with him at full speed, but the heat was making the running more difficult. Up ahead he saw a building that looked familiar, he thought if he turned there it would lead him to a smaller, more densely packed street. He could lose her in the crowd and duck into one of the shops while she passed.

He took the corner sharply, then skidded to a halt. It wasn’t a bustling street; he had been wrong. Instead he found himself in an alleyway. The chain link fence wouldn’t be hard to jump, but her footsteps approached quickly behind him.

“Please,” she pleaded, panting heavily.

She was desperate, maybe as desperate for answers as he was. But his entire body was shaking and he didn't trust that. If he snapped and hurt her, he would never forgive himself. What finally made him turn around was a strange emotion he felt coming off her. Something he hadn’t felt in what was highly likely, years. Excitement. She was excited that she'd finally found him, and that made him curious.

* * *

If Olivia had known he was going to actually turn and face her, she would have made sure she wasn’t doubled over trying to catch her breath. She had figured that he would have jumped the fence right away, certainly as soon as she’d caught up to him. Except that he didn’t.

She stood slowly to meet his gaze, still trying to steady her breathing. He watched her warily. She was slightly annoyed that he didn’t seem to be out of breath at all. A wave of fury and confusion washed over her, along with something else, something that made her shiver. He needed her to know that he was dangerous, hostile, and not afraid to act on it if she didn’t watch herself. He was not only allowing her to feel those things, he was projecting them outward to her, so that she didn't miss them. She nodded at him slowly, a sign that she understood.

“I’m not armed,” she said, raising her hands up.

“I know you aren’t that stupid,” he grunted.

Of course he’d know she was lying, he helped train her after all. Slowly, keeping her eyes locked on his, she lifted her shirt revealing a light utility belt around her stomach, all she had on her was her switchblade. Thanks to his influence, they both knew that was enough. She lifted it out of its pouch and dropped to the ground beside her.

“That’s it, I swear,” she said.

“I guess you are that stupid,” he said with a sharp laugh.

His laugh sent a shiver down her spine. For the first time she since HYDRA, she truly recognized how dangerous he was. Her body twitched as she fought the urge to reach for her blade again.

“I wouldn’t,” he warned.

Her heart skipped. He was so damn perceptive, nothing got past him. Other than every moment directly leading up to this moment. A smirk formed across her mouth as she thought of that. She had finally found herself one step ahead of him and it felt good. Now all she needed to do was convince him to stay, she just needed to make him stay.

“How did you block me?” he asked sharply.

“I could ask you the same question.”

They stared at each other in silence for a brief moment, neither willing to budge. He was furious with her, with himself too. She tried to restrain herself from feeling his emotions, but he was so close to her and they were too strong. She couldn't let him know that she was reading him. She hated to think of what he'd do.

“Why did you do this to me?” he asked.

“I didn’t do it on purpose,” she said desperately. “I was trying to help; I thought I was helping.”

He scoffed. Olivia was struck by how human he seemed in the moment. He wasn’t the man who had trained her mercilessly. She remembered the last time she’d seen him, when she made the link in the first place, it was the only other time she’d seen him as someone other than a ruthless soldier. Still, she knew one wrong move could be detrimental.

“Break the link,” he shot.

“I don’t know how.”

He was holding back his anger; she could see him resisting every urge to act on it. He didn’t want to hurt her. They were close enough that she could see his body spasm with restraint. Hers trembled too, his emotions were overwhelming, she felt like she was drowning in his frustration and confusion. If she could just touch him, she thought she might be able to help. Slowly she reached out her hand towards him.

“Come back with us,” she said gently, “I can explain everything.”

“I can’t,” he said shaking his head.

“You’re not going to hurt anyone.”

He lunged at her, grabbing her upper arm, and shoving her up against the wall behind her. She swallowed her cry and clenched her jaw; he wouldn’t see her break.

“You really believe that?” he growled.

She desperately wanted to reach up and touch his face, to absorb everything, and prove to him that he was safe. He wouldn’t allow that though and she knew she had to play it safe. She considered influencing his emotions to calm him, but that was risky too. He’d sense it before she could actually get anywhere, and he was strong enough to break her.

“I’m sorry,” she said softly; it was all she could think to say.

He released her and backed up.

“I’m sorry that I did this to you. Come back and I can fix it.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

“Just,” she sighed and reached her hand out again, “give me your hand, I can help you I swear.”

Her heart skipped as she watched him slowly remove the glove from his right hand, the non-metal one. He watched her nervously as she moved forward and gently took his hand in hers. With everyone else, she had to activate her power in order to absorb, read, or influence their emotions. Even when she'd absorbed Steve's the first time, it was completely by accident, but she could feel the difference between then and now. With Bucky it was instant. His emotions were hers and hers were his.

His eyes widened as he realized what she was doing. She couldn’t relieve him of his burdens, but she could share them. At least she thought she could. It was overwhelming, but she tried to hold herself together so as not to alarm him. Her eyes swelled with tears and her body shook involuntarily. It was too much and they both knew it.

“Stop,” he said, pulling his hand away.

Her knees buckled beneath her. He caught her, easing her down slowly in his arms. His pain was completely debilitating, she shook in his arms. There was so much fear, and a darkness she didn’t know was possible. She didn’t know how he did it. 

“You don’t need to do that,” he said, “none of that is for you to carry.”

“I can handle it,” she said between sobs.

She couldn’t handle it; she didn’t know how anyone could. But she needed him to believe her. She needed him to come back with them. For Steve, for her, it didn’t matter, she just knew that he couldn’t be alone. 

“You can’t,” he said firmly.

“Harrington!”

Both of their heads snapped up at Sam’s voice.

“Time’s up,” he said.

“Barnes, come back with us please…”

He clutched her face in his hand, his eyes searching hers. She tried desperately to read him. He was blocking her again, and her energy was completely depleted, she couldn’t push past it. 

“You caught me off guard this time,” he said in a low voice, “it won’t happen again. If you come after me, I can’t promise it ends well for you.”

"Bucky," she said softly, her last ditch effort to appeal to him.

For a brief moment it seemed to work, he softened momentarily. But it didn't last. His eyes went cold as he glared her down.

"Watch yourself Olivia," he snarled. "You're no different than them to me."

He stood as Sam’s footsteps approached and jumped the fence. By the time Sam reached the alleyway, he was gone.

“What the hell happened?” Sam asked dropping down next to her.

She couldn’t pull herself together long enough to answer him. His grief mixed with her failure was too much. Sam held her against him, one arm wrapped firmly around her, the other pulled out his phone.

“Steve,” Sam said into his phone, “He’s gone, we lost him. No…not this time. Yeah, come get us.”

Olivia tried to argue, but she couldn’t. Physically she couldn’t get the words out. Beyond that, his words rang out in her mind. He still didn’t trust her, and if she dared to go after him again, she might not get so lucky. Her eyes searched the ground for her switchblade.

“Fuck,” she said sharply.

“What is it?” asked Sam.

“That asshole took my knife.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! Very excited about this chapter. I had fun telling this bit through each POV. I hope you all enjoyed it as well! Comments, thoughts, questions are always welcome! :)


	12. Tony Has a Plan

No one really knew what had happened with Bucky and Olivia. Tony and Steve had tried, as gently as they could, to get it out of her after her return home. That had been complete disaster ending in Olivia slamming the door loudly behind her as she stormed out of the room. Steve hadn’t seen her since. The only people she would even be around were Clint, Nat, and surprisingly, Wanda.

Steve was not a patient man, but at the advising if nearly everyone in the house, he kept his distance from Olivia. It took her three weeks to come to him. Three agonizing weeks. Luckily, she didn’t leave her room often and when she did, it was only briefly for food. Tony tried his hand once or twice, but she shut him down also. Steve assumed she figured that whatever she told Tony would get back to him. She wasn’t wrong.

He was in his office when she slowly pushed his door open. She dragged over a chair and placed it in front of his desk. Then, she climbed into it, pulling up her legs onto the chair and sitting crisscross. If he wasn’t so angry with her, he would have laughed at how small she looked in curled up in the chair. They stared at each other for a few long moments. He noticed the dark circles under her eyes and briefly wondered if she hadn’t been sleeping.

“Do you have something to say?” Steve asked finally.

She jumped slightly at the sound of his voice. The fact that they hadn’t actually spoken in weeks probably had something to do with that.

“Um, yes,” she said slowly. “First, I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry,” he sighed.

The only thing he’d wanted more than an apology, was for her to stop ignoring him. Now, hearing her say it made him feel guilty. He wasn’t entitled to her; she didn’t need to apologize for needing time. She gave him a crooked smile.

“Well I am.”

“You shouldn’t be,” he reiterated, “I won’t pretend to know what happened, but whatever it was…clearly you needed some sort of space to process. I shouldn’t have let that upset me.”

“That’s very noble of you,” she laughed, “but I should have come to you sooner. This whole thing…it isn’t about me. It’s about you and your lunatic best friend.” She hesitated for a moment, then gulping, said, “He’s angry with you Steve. So angry.”

Steve inhaled sharply. He hadn’t expected her to even mention Bucky, let alone bring him up on her own.

“I can’t say I’m surprised,” he said, scratching the back of his head. “I uh…didn’t realize you talked to him.”

“No, we didn’t, er, not really. I mean…there was a lot of begging on my part and some threats on his…but that’s not how I know,” she rambled.

“Threats?”

Steve knew that Bucky was dangerous, unhinged, but he was surprised to hear that he had actually threatened Olivia. In truth, he thought that maybe Olivia was the only person Bucky wouldn’t threaten. He knew Sam and Tony didn’t believe that, but Steve truly had. It was another blow to his ego, he thought he knew Bucky better than anyone, even in this state. That clearly was not the case.

“Yeah he kind of threatened…I mean mildly. He mildly threatened me,” she scoffed shaking her head.

“Olivia why didn’t you tell me? Or Sam? Or…anyone?” he asked sharply.

“I couldn’t,” she said shaking her head.

“What do you mean you couldn’t?” he asked.

“Steve you don’t understand…I was never angry with you, Bucky was.”

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“Well that depends,” she shrugged, “if what you think I’m saying is that all of the anger I felt towards you was actually Bucky’s and I had to avoid you because I felt like I was going to beat the shit out of you if I didn’t…then yes…that is what I am saying.”

“Olivia,” Steve groaned, “What the hell happened between you to?”

“I…well…okay I opened up the connection between us and sort of…wow okay see when I say it out loud it sounds really bad…” Olivia stammered.

“What did you do?” he asked.

“Remember the night when we discovered my little gift? And I absorbed everything you’d been feeling for days?”

He nodded slowly, vaguely seeing where she was going, hoping he was wrong. She winced at him and he groaned, dropping his head into his hand.

“I went about it all wrong, I see that now,” she said quickly, “next time I’ll-“

“No Olivia there isn’t going to be a ‘next time’, how do you not get that?” Steve barked, cutting her off.

“Steve…I have to find him,” she said softly, “he needs you, or me, I don’t know but he needs someone. He can’t do this alone.”

“He wants to do it alone!”

“He can’t!”

“And you know that for a fact? You know him better than anyone now is that right?”

“This isn’t a competition Steve.”

They glared at each other as Steve chewed over her words. It wasn’t a competition, but it was sure starting to feel like one. One that he was consistently losing.

“This is not a discussion, we are having right now,” Steve said.

“He needs you Steve,” she pressed.

“If that were true you wouldn’t have spent the last three weeks avoiding me,” Steve replied, giving her a curt smile.

“Please.”

“I’m sorry Liv,” he shook his head, “I can’t risk it again. For all we know your little stunt with him caused more damage.”

“I thought it would help him,” she said.

“It didn’t though, did it? Instead you had a nervous breakdown in the middle of a foreign country, you put Sam in danger, you put yourself in danger, you came home harboring all of his resentment and anger and pain. And for what Olivia?” he snapped.

“For you Steve,” she said sharply. “I did it for you. I thought if I could help him through some of his shit, he’d come back with us. That is what you wanted right? Or did you send us…me, out there for another reason?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You were testing our connection. You wanted to see how far it could go, how deep it went. You needed to know how he felt…about me.”

“You said you wouldn’t use your power on me anymore.”

She scoffed at him, standing abruptly.

“I didn’t have to.”

He watched her leave, silently seething. He wasn’t sure what he was angrier about, the fact that she consistently showed so little regard for her safety when it came to Bucky or the fact that she’d read Steve like a book without even trying. She was right, he desperately wanted to understand their connection. He also needed to know if it posed a threat to anyone, especially her. He and Tony had decided to send her out with Sam together for that very reason. The part about Steve needing to know how Bucky felt about Olivia was something else entirely. Something that he thought he’d hidden quite well. Obviously, he hadn’t.

* * *

Olivia had spent weeks being furious at Steve, not of her own accord, but because she didn’t know how to release Bucky’s anger. Now, she didn’t need anyone’s help to be angry with him. He’d managed to piss her off all on his own. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew that Tony had been involved too, but her situation with Tony was significantly less nuanced than her situation with Steve. And she knew that if she’d asked Tony why they were sending her so soon, he would have been honest about it.

She considered going to Tony first, but shook that quickly. Whatever he had to say would have been along the lines of what Steve had said, she had been reckless, thoughtless, put her and Sam in danger. She didn’t need to hear it from Tony too. There was one other person on the compound that she’d been avoiding.

Sam’s door was ajar, and she could see him in his room, surrounded by boxes. He had finally agreed to Tony and Steve’s proposal to join the team, but it had taken him some time to move in. He was attached to his house in D.C. and the freedom that came with it. With the promise that he could keep his house and exercise his freedom at will, he begrudgingly moved onto the compound part time.

He looked up from a stack of records he was sorting, as she tapped on his door. There was no reason for him to let her in. She hadn’t exactly been the best partner, and as if everything she pulled on the field wasn’t enough, she’d gone and iced him out for the past month. Despite everything, he raised an eyebrow at her and nodded his head for her to come in.

“Here,” he said handing her his records, “these go in that crate by the record player.”

Olivia nodded and made her way to the record player beside his bed.

“And be careful with them,” Sam added, “they’re vintage.”

“Vintage huh?” she said placing them in the crate. “You’re running out of space over here, you might need another box.”

“I’ll get one,” Sam nodded, “did you come here to actually help me unpack or what?”

“Helping you unpack is the least I could do after everything I’ve put you through,” Olivia laughed lightly.

“No shit,” Sam grinned.

“I came in here to apologize,” Olivia admitted, “and to maybe get a little more clarity on the situation.”

“Well I’ll take that apology first,” said Sam, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Right,” Olivia nodded, “Sam I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you. I’m sorry I went after him without you and I’m so sorry that I’ve been avoiding you.”

“Alright,” said Sam, “that wasn’t bad. Sit.”

Olivia followed his lead, sitting on his bed beside him.

“What happened Harrington? What did he do to you?” Sam asked.

It was hard to miss the hint of protection in his voice.

“Honestly, Sam, nothing,” she sighed, “it was my fault. I pushed him. He was very up front with me, he didn’t want to come back with us, he didn’t want me anywhere near him. But I couldn’t shake it, I thought I could handle him, but I couldn’t.”

“I’m not following,” Sam said with a shake of his head.

She knew that Sam understood probably the very basics of her powers. In truth, she was still learning too. Everything seemed new to her, and somethings, like her connection with Barnes, was simply inexplicable.

“I can feel what other people are feeling, almost always. I have to actively turn that off, otherwise there’s always this sort of…vague…uh mist of emotion if you will. But I can also absorb emotions as if they were my own,” she explained.

“Okay so you can tell that I’m confused as shit right now?” Sam asked.

“You always give off the ‘confused as shit’ vibe,” Olivia grinned.

“Ooh I hate you,” Sam said shaking his head, “just when I was about to forgive you too.”

“I’m joking!” she laughed, “But yeah that’s the general idea. If your guard were down, I could get a much better understanding of your deeper emotions, things you’ve felt in the past, maybe even hints of why. Then, if I touch a person, and they’re receptive, I can absorb their emotions as if they were my own. I did it with Steve once, but that was an accident, a moment of weakness on his part.”

He was watching her carefully as she spoke. Sam was a very practical man. Steve “the Super Soldier” Rogers, might be his best friend, but he still seemed unsure of the people on his team with “superpowers”.

“Can you read my mind?” he asked.

“Not really no, I can’t hear your thoughts,” she said.

“That’s good to know,” he nodded.

“Depending on the person, I can manipulate emotions pretty easily too.” She watched as he raised his eyebrows at her. Laughing slightly, she shook her head, “I’ve never done that to you, nor would unless…well unless it was absolutely necessary for some reason.”

“What’s necessary for you and what’s necessary for me might be different though.”

“Sam, I won’t.”

He nodded slowly but didn’t seem to believe her fully. So she explained further, trying to ease his mind, at least a little.

“For people like Clint, Wanda, and Tony, who feel things easily and openly all of this is easier. People like Steve and Nat, in many ways you, it’s much more difficult,” she said. “But it also depends on the bond I have with someone. I’m very close with Steve, he’s comfortable around me, which makes him easier to read, absorb, and manipulate.”

“You’re pretty close with Natasha too,” Sam observed.

“Yeah but I don’t think she’s that comfortable around anyone, maybe Clint,” Olivia chuckled.

“That’s fair. What about Vision?”

“A complete fucking mystery.”

“To all of us.”

They laughed together. Olivia remembered how easy it was to connect with Sam. She realized that apart from her guilt, it must have been a little bit of Bucky’s influence that kept her away from him.

“So, what is it with Barnes? How can you feel him when your continents apart? More importantly how the fuck can he feel you?” asked Sam.

“Honestly,” Olivia sighed, “I’m not really sure. My job while at HYDRA was to placate him, calm him before and after they erased him and sent him out on missions. I did it so often that I started forming some sort of connection with him, I could see his memories. So, when I got the chance, I acted on that. Somehow, I linked us, mentally, emotionally, all of it. I say I couldn’t hear your thoughts, well, with Barnes I could hear his and he could hear mine.”

“Shit,” Sam breathed.

“I don’t know how to break the link, but as you know, we’ve both discovered ways to block it or at the very least weaken it. When he finally stopped running and gave me a chance, I thought I could help him by absorbing some of his pain. I thought I could help him work through it,” she said. “I barely touched him and absorbed hardly a fraction of it, but it was too much. He knew it and he ran.”

“Harrington,” Sam scoffed, “the amount of trauma that man has endured, I don’t know that anyone could handle it. This isn’t some big failure on your part.”

“I should have known, I think I gave him some sort of hope I think,” she said, “when I couldn’t follow through, he ran.”

“Can you still feel him?” Sam asked.

“That’s the thing,” Olivia said scrunching her eyebrows, “I can feel him more than ever, almost as if we were in the same room. He’s not blocking me; he isn’t even trying. In fact, I think he’s actively keeping the link open.”

“He wants you to find him,” Sam said.

“Yeah,” Olivia nodded, “I think he does.”

“Well shit Olivia, I wish we’d gone over all of this before our mission,” Sam sighed.

“I know, me too.”

“You’re going to go after him, aren’t you?”

“I can’t. Steve has made it abundantly clear that it isn’t an option.”

“I’m not saying I agree with him, but it would be dangerous wouldn’t it?”

“No idea,” she admitted. “I mean yeah, probably, he might not even realize that the connection is so strong right now, it could be completely subconscious. I have no way of knowing.”

He was about to say something when there was light knock at his door. Steve and Tony stood in the doorway. Tony was smiling brightly, as usual, but Steve looked less than thrilled to see Olivia. They were there for Sam, clearly.

“Sam, I need to see you in my office,” Steve said.

“Uh, yeah, okay,” Sam said standing.

“What’s going on?” asked Olivia.

“I’m taking Sam, Nat, and Wanda on a mission,” Steve said curtly.

Olivia nodded, pretending like it didn’t sting. With those three, she knew there would be very little need for her anyway. After all, he wasn’t bringing Clint or Rhodey. Still, she knew it was an intentional exclusion.

“I’ll meet you there Sam,” he sighed.

Sam paused to smile at Olivia, then brushed past Steve and Tony.

“Look Olive, don’t be angry with Steve,” Tony said quickly. “It was my idea to keep you here on this one. I thought you could use a bit of a break.”

“It’s fine,” Olivia said shaking her head, “honestly, I’m fine.”

She pushed past them both, closing Sam’s door behind her. Steve caught her by the wrist. She turned to face him. Glaring up at him, she sent a fraction of her anger through to him. She needed him to understand how she felt, and she couldn’t say it in words. He dropped her wrist and took a step back.

“Liv I’m sorry,” he said softly.

“If I have to say I’m fine, one more time,” she growled.

“Well obviously you aren’t,” he said, challenging her.

Tony stood uncomfortable in between them. Olivia knew he was smart enough to keep his mouth shut for the moment, at least she hoped he was.

“Liv, I am sorry,” he said firmly. “I’m trying to protect you, and I can’t do that if you’re off looking for Buck. It’s too risky. It was too risky the first time, you tried to tell me that, but I didn’t listen.”

“I’m telling you this time that it isn’t too risky,” she shot, “will you listen to that?”

She could feel the excitement coming off of Tony. He was eating up their fight, probably because, for once it wasn’t him going head to head with Steve.

“Damnit Olivia,” Steve said, “I can’t lose you and I can’t lose him. If you go after him, I could lose you both.”

His eyes bore into hers. He’d folded, showing her his cards. She understood, if Bucky hurt her, Steve couldn’t forgive him. There was no convincing him otherwise.

“Fine,” Olivia said curtly. “Stay safe on your mission.”

Steve nodded. He scratched the back of his head and bit his lip. Olivia knew he wanted to say more, to make it right between them, but that would take time. He nodded at her again, then turned and walked off. She sighed, pressing herself up against the wall behind her.

“Well that was exciting,” Tony said, shaking her out of her head.

“I forgot you were here,” she said, “which is rare feat for you. Bravo Stark.”

“Okay, alright, you’re full of jokes, we get it,” Tony said, “now come on, I need to see you in my office,” he added, echoing Steve’s words at Sam.

She groaned but followed him down the hall and to the elevator. Really, she wanted to go to bed, even if it was too early. When they finally made it to his office, she collapsed the chair across from his desk. He sat down behind his desk and grinned at her manically.

“What the fuck are you doing Stark?” she asked, sitting up.

“How strong is that connection to Barnes?” he asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Well can you find him?”

“Uh…maybe? I don’t know, I can feel him pretty strongly. I’m enjoying his nightmares at least,” she said sarcastically.

“Alright,” Tony nodded, “What if I gave you a head start.”

Her heart nearly jumped out of her chest.

“You know where he is?” Olivia said, leaning in.

“Of course I do,” Tony scoffed. “I have this little habit of keeping track of those who might be a threat…or I don’t know a nice addition. There’s some spider kid in Queens I’ve been tracking for a while now.”

“Fine, whatever,” Olivia said dismissing his rambling, “you know where Barnes is?”

“Oh right, yes,” he nodded, “I do.”

He pulled out one of his desk drawers and grabbed a file folder. She reached out for it, but he snatched it back.

“Not so fast Olive,” he said, “Steve will maybe probably murder me if this goes South…so how do I know this isn’t going to go South.”

“I don’t know,” she said shaking her head. She was desperate for the information though.

“Come on Olive, give me something…anything,” he said.

“Um…okay…he knows how to block our connection, he did it almost the entire time Sam was tracking us. He isn’t now, in fact it seems like he’s reaching out,” she said. “Of course it could be completely subconscious…”

“No no,” he said waving a finger at her, “I don’t need to know that part.”

He tossed the folder across the desk towards her.

“A file folder Stark?” she asked taking it in her hand. “How old fashioned of you.”

“I like to keep hard copies,” he shrugged. “The information you need is in there, along with a credit card and plane tickets. You’re going to need your passport.”

“Why are you doing this Tony?” she asked.

“Glad you asked,” he smiled, “I think you need this. Whatever it is, closure, a win, I don’t know. But I think you need it and I think you need to do it alone.”

“Thank you Tony,” Olivia breathed.

“Remember,” Tony said, “I know where he is, I’ve turned tracking on, on your phone, and if you need anything you let me know immediately.”

“Tracking?” Olivia groaned.

“The second you turn it off Ironman and War Machine show up and they don't hesitate, you got that?” he warned.

“Yes, fine, okay,” she nodded.

“Alright,” he smirked, “now…go, get your stuff together. Wait until Steve and the others are gone, then you’re free to go.”

Olivia nodded, grinning broadly. She threw herself over his desk and wrapped her arms firmly around his neck. He patted her head awkwardly, but she knew he liked it.

“You’re to stay in constant contact with me got it?” he asked. “Steve isn’t the only who can’t lose you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I know, Bucky isn't in this one. But, I wanted to add some clarification on her powers, just to kind of keep things flowing nicely. Don't worry, he'll be back! I'm going to fudge the events of Civil War and basically not include a majority of it. I apologize if that causes any problems for anyone!
> 
> Thank you for reading! I appreciate the comments and the love that people are leaving! You all are the best! :)


	13. Don't Run

A few things were made abundantly clear at the start of Olivia’s search for Barnes. The first, was that he knew that she had started looking for him again. The second, was that he had been trying to reach her, and that it wasn’t subconscious at all. And the third, was that despite the previous facts, he still did not want her to find him. She’d mulled over the last fact many times, usually just after he’d slipped through her fingers again. Whatever he wanted from her was completely beyond her understanding. She couldn’t stop though, she felt like she owed him something, and that was enough to keep her going.

. Every day was a guessing game with Barnes, and to say that she was beginning to crack under the pressure, would have been an understatement. Tony had given Olivia had enough information to follow Barnes to Europe, but he had picked up on her presence as soon as she had gotten close. Since then, she’d chased him through countless European cities, following her gut and what little he was giving her to go on. She hardly slept, and when she did, it was on trains or buses. Occasionally, she would stop at a hostel and try and get a decent night’s sleep. Food was a little easier, but even her eating schedule was thrown off.

On top of everything, Tony had given Olivia a very strict deadline on her mission to find Barnes. She had the exact amount of time that it took for Steve to complete his mission and come back. Which actually meant that Olivia had no idea how long she really had before she was called back to HQ. Tony had promised to try and buy her some time, especially if she thought she was close. They both knew that wouldn’t work though, Steve would know immediately what Tony had done and where Olivia was.

She was on her third cup of coffee at a small café in Bucharest, Romania. They had been in Romania for about a week. It was the longest he’d stayed in one place and she was beyond thankful for it. The short respite had given her a chance to get a full night’s sleep at least twice. It had also given her the chance to come up with some semblance of a plan. He was in the city and for once, he didn’t seem anxious to leave right away, she was sure that this time she could find him.

She tapped her forefinger against her coffee mug, pouring over the photographs in front of her. He was generally quick enough to avoid being captured, but she’d gotten him a few times. His patterns were erratic though. She still had not been able to figure out where he was coming or going from and at what times of the day he chose to be out. Her brain was exhausted from the chase, but she pressed on, searching for anything in the photographs.

“Where the fuck are you Barnes?” she whispered to herself, rearranging the photographs.

Her heart leapt as she made a connection. One of the photos had what she thought was his silhouette in the window of a building. When she had first seen it, days ago, she’d gone to the apartment, to see if she’d been right. It wasn’t his though, and since then he’d been throwing her focus off that building entirely. She grinned broadly, realizing that she had been right about the building, but wrong about the apartment number. He knew she’d been there and that’s why he had been throwing her off.

“Why aren’t you running?” she mumbled.

She chugged the contents of her coffee cup and left some change on the table. Then, she slipped the photographs in her bag and slid out of the booth. In the past, whenever she’d gotten this close, he had been gone within the hour and she’d have to track him to a new city, often a new country. This time he’d stayed. It nagged in the back of her mind as she made her way to his apartment building.

* * *

His flat was a small studio space, with a mattress in the middle of the room and a small sofa. She realized that he was likely squatting in someone’s already owned apartment, though she couldn’t fathom what had happened to its owner. It was also entirely possible that this was not the first apartment he’d used in this building, which explained why she had a difficult time placing him.

“What are you doing?”

She spun around at the sound of his voice. He had gotten incredibly good at manipulating their connection, she hadn’t felt him at all. He was in the doorway watching her, poised to move at any second.

“Don’t run,” she breathed, “please don’t run.”

“Is that a joke?” he asked.

“Please,” she said again.

“Give me one reason,” he said, jutting his head towards her.

“Okay,” she said, “I’m really fucking tired.”

She thought she saw a brief smile break out across his lips. She shook her head, knowing it was more than likely a symptom of her fatigue.

“That’s not my problem.”

“Oh, but it is,” she laughed. “I’m tired of chasing you Barnes. I’m exhausted and quite frankly, more than a little bit over it. This is it; I’m done…and then you’re really on your own.”

His mouth formed a very thin line, he glared at her hard. Slowly, he stepped completely though the doorway and shut the door firmly behind him. Olivia released the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding.

“Sit,” he said, nodding to the folding chair tucked under the small table.

She listened, dropping her bag down next to her as she sat. He unzipped his hoodie and shrugged it off, along with the gloves he’d been wearing, revealing his metal arm beneath his short-sleeved shirt. A shiver ran through her, but she shook it off. Again, she thought she saw him smile as he turned away from her and chucked the hoodie onto the mattress. When he turned back around, any hint of it was gone. He leaned his back against the kitchen counter and crossed his arms across his chest.

“What do you want from me?” he asked.

“Uh…no…what do _you_ want from _me_?” she countered.

His eyes went cold as he came towards her. Instinctively, she stood and jumped behind the chair, firmly holding it in between them. He pushed out of his way as he backed her up against the wall.

“I want you to undo whatever the fuck you did to my head,” he growled.

She was reminded of the first time they’d re-met, in that alleyway in Brazil. Against her better judgment, she smirked up at him, he wouldn’t scare her as easily this time.

“If you’re going for intimidating, you might want to learn some more moves,” she said.

His eyes flashed; his jaw set in anger. His hand moved swiftly, pulling her switchblade out of his pocket. She swallowed hard, staring up at him as he set the blade threateningly against her throat.

“Barnes,” she said in a low steady voice, “get it away from me. Now.”

Slowly, he moved the knife away from her. Her anger got the better of her and she gut punched him, sending away from her as he doubled over. She yanked her switchblade from his hand and kicked him, hard, in his chest. He fell backwards onto the floor and she jumped on top of him, it was her turn to hold the blade against his neck. She knew that he could easily overcome her, but she didn’t care, she’d reached her breaking point.

“I swear to god Barnes if you threaten me again, I’m really going to lose my shit,” she snarled.

This time, his grin was unmistakable. Her eyes widened in shock and her grip loosened on her switchblade. He caught her wrist and gently pulled it away from him, then took the switchblade from her and slid it across the room.

“Are we done?” he asked, raising his hands up in defeat.

“I don’t know…are we?”

“You’re still on top of me, so I think that makes it your call.”

Olivia bit her lip anxiously. The truth was that he could reverse their situation before she could even blink and they both knew it. He was being polite, which in all honesty shocked her almost as much as his lingering grin did. She stood slowly and stepped over him to grab the chair he’d tossed aside. He got to his feet as she pulled it back over to the table and took a seat. She was trembling slightly from the adrenaline rush.

“I’m sorry,” he said gruffly.

“It’s fine,” she said shaking her head.

“You’re a little reckless, aren’t you?” he asked.

“Well…I’m in a sleeper agent’s apartment, alone and unarmed, so I’ll let you figure that one out,” she said sarcastically.

He snorted, then turned to his cupboard and took out a glass. She watched as filled it with water. He set it down on the table in front of her, then went back to the counter.

“Thanks,” she said, sipping it.

“Those moves…you learned them from me?” he asked.

“Yes,” she nodded.

“Well they only worked because you caught me off guard,” he said.

“I’m aware Barnes,” she drawled.

“I can’t remember your name,” he said quickly.

“You knew it in Brazil,” she said, narrowing her eyes at him.

“Yeah,” he nodded, “I know. It’s a great side effect of having your brain wiped over and over for seventy fucking years. I forget things often.”

“I’m sorry,” she said softly, “it’s Olivia.”

“That’s right. You’re smaller than I remember.”

“What?”

“I just don’t remember you being so tiny…it was amusing watching you threaten me,” he shrugged.

“Alright well I did have a knife against your throat,” she said, growing more annoyed by the moment.

“Yeah,” he chuckled, “you did.”

“Barnes,” she sighed, “can we get on with this?”

She could feel him watching her. As her heartbeat returned to normal, she dropped her guard slightly. If she dropped hers, he might drop his, and she desperately wanted to know what he was feeling.

“Is it like this with everyone?” he asked.

“What?”

“I can feel you trying to get into my head.”

Her heart raced again. She’d have to tack that onto the long list of strange things the connection did to them.

“No,” she shook her head, “you’re the only person who can sense it, I guess. Most people can tell when I’m influencing their emotions, but to just read a person...they don’t ever know.”

He nodded, crossing his arms over his chest.

“So that was your job then, influencing my emotions?”

“Yes.”

“The time you…uh…created the link I guess, why did you do it?”

“I needed to remind you of who you were.”

“Why?”

Olivia sighed and pressed her hand to her forehead. Between the three cups of coffee and coming down from her crazy adrenaline high, her head had started pounding. Plus, it was late, she was tired, and his energy was draining whatever was left in her power reserve.

“Barnes you were one brain blender shy of losing yourself altogether. They’d used you up, your days were numbered. I couldn’t just let you die.”

“I asked you to.”

“Well I couldn’t!” she hollered. “Maybe I was being selfish, but I couldn’t be a part of your death. I couldn’t. Not when I knew that there was a whole entire person inside of you.”

He stared at her; his harsh eyes boring into her. She couldn’t read him; she was far too tired to even try and push past his barriers. Her exhaustion was overwhelming, everything was overwhelming, and then she understood how he had been shutting her out.

“Bucky stop!” she shouted.

“Stop what?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“You’re projecting my emotions back onto me, which I have to admit, is a pretty brilliant way of blocking me, and I didn’t even know a person could do that, but you have to stop, please,” she said in a flurry of words.

She could feel her heart start to race again as panic flared up inside of her. Her vision became spotty and she dropped her head on the table to relieve the heaviness of it. He came and knelt silently in front of her.

“I’m sorry, it’s done, I stopped,” he said, eyeing her nervously.

When he realized that her panic wasn’t subsiding, his own began to wash over her. She opened her eyes, meeting his and laughed bitterly.

“Barnes,” she mumbled, “stop panicking, it isn’t helping.”

“Well what do I do then?” he asked, his eyes wide.

“I don’t know,” she replied, “definitely not panic though.”

He rested his hand on top of hers. Her panic began to subside immediately. Her head snapped up, watching him in shock.

“Barnes, don’t…” she started.

“I can handle it better than you can,” he said firmly.

Once it had completely dissipated, he left her and took back his place against the kitchen counter. She watched him cautiously, but he looked absolutely fine, as if absorbing her panic attack onto him did absolutely nothing.

“Thank you,” she said softly.

“I didn’t do it for you,” he said sharply, “I still have questions.”

“Fine,” she sighed, “but how did you know how to do it?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “I just remembered Brazil, when you tried to do it for me. I figured if the connection went both ways…maybe that did as well.”

“I fucking hate that,” Olivia mumbled.

“I take it I’m also the only one who can use your powers back on you?” he asked.

“So it would seem,” she sneered.

“Well that’s…fun,” he smirked.

“Can you just, get on with your questions?” she asked.

“Yeah, sure, why did Steve send you and his friend out to find me in the first place?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“C’mon Barnes, you know the answer to this,” Olivia sighed, “Steve is your best friend…was…I don’t know how you classify it.”

“I remember him sometimes,” Bucky nodded slightly.

“You remember how he made you feel more,” Olivia said without thinking.

“I’m sick of you knowing things about me that I’ve hardly figured out myself.” His eyes were harsh and cold again.

“I’m sorry Barnes,” she said softly.

“He sent you because of our connection I assume?” Bucky asked, ignoring her apology.

“Yeah,” she nodded, “he wanted to test it.”

“He really trusted that I wouldn’t snap and kill you the moment I saw you?” he asked, sending a chill down her spine.

“At first yes,” she nodded, “after Brazil…not so much.”

“But you came back?”

“Steve doesn’t know I came back.”

“Interesting,” he grunted. “Why’d you do it then?”

“You wouldn’t leave me alone Barnes,” Olivia laughed, “I saw your nightmares every night, I felt you all the time. At first, I thought it was just a side effect of absorbing parts of you and that it would eventually wear off. Some things did, like your anger at Steve, but not that.”

“Alright so you trusted me enough to come fine me…alone and unarmed,” he said.

“I thought you were keeping the link open…making it stronger on purpose,” she said, raising an eyebrow at him.

“I wasn’t,” he said quickly, “I mean…maybe I was. I don’t know.”

“This is your chance to work this one out on your own,” she said softly.

He stared at her; his eyebrows furrowed together. When she had finally caught up to him, the wave of relief that had washed over him had led her to believe that he had known he was calling out to her. Now she could see that it had been mostly subconscious. The desperation she had felt from him for her to come back, was something he hadn’t worked through himself.

“I was keeping the link open on my own?” he asked, shaking his head. “You weren’t doing any of that?”

“No Barnes,” she said. “You made it abundantly clear in Brazil that you wanted to be left alone, so that’s what I was doing.”

“I don’t,” he said quickly.

“You don’t what?” Olivia pressed.

“I don’t want to be alone.”

Olivia nodded; she’d known this from the beginning. It’s why she so desperately fought for Steve to let her go. It was also why she couldn’t understand why he kept running.

“Come back with me,” she said gently.

“You know that isn’t going to happen,” he replied.

“Then why am I here?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” he shook his head.

She sighed heavily and ran her hand across her forehead. They were at an impasse and she honestly didn’t have it in her to fight him any further. She was exhausted, from chasing him, from finding him, all of it was exhausting.

“If I leave are you going to run again?” she asked.

“I can’t make any promises,” he admitted.

“Yeah,” she nodded, “I figured.”

She got up from the chair and dropped herself across the couch. He sat on the mattress, his eyes locked on her.

“You’re staying?” he asked.

“I can’t chase you anymore Barnes,” she sighed.

“Trade me, I’ll sleep there, you take the bed,” he said.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she laughed, “you would hardly fit on this couch, it’s tiny.”

“Yeah,” he chuckled, “like you.”

She looked over and glared at him, but her annoyance dissipated at his grin. It was good to see him smile, it wasn’t anything like the one she’d seen in the photograph with Steve, but she didn’t think she’d ever see that one. This was enough. He tossed a blanket to her and she wrapped it around her.

“Night Barnes,” she said, rolling over.

“Night Tiny,” she heard him say.

* * *

He was gone when she woke, but before her anger could set in, she found a note on the kitchen table.

_Don’t freak out Tiny. I just went to get food._

_-B_

She smirked, shaking her head slightly. Her phone buzzed loudly from her bag and she made her way over to pull it out. There were at least fifteen text messages and ten calls from Tony. Her heart sank, Steve must have been back and by now, he probably knew where she’d gone. She went to open his messages, when his face flashed across her screen.

“Tony,” she said answering his phone.

“Jesus Olive where have you been? I’ve been trying to get a hold of you,” he said, cutting her off.

“I noticed, is Steve back? Does he know?” Olivia asked.

“You haven’t heard,” Tony breathed.

“What? I haven’t heard what?”

“Barnes bombed the UN in Vienna,” he said.

Olivia shook her head, not understanding Tony’s words. She knew there was not way that could be true, but Tony sounded so sure.

“Tony, that’s not-“ she said quickly.

“Nat and I are on my way to Berlin, you are to go back to New York immediately,” Tony said sharply.

“Berlin? What?” Olivia said, her confusion growing by the second.

“This isn’t a conversation, go home Olivia,” he said sharply.

His use of her actual name threw her. He hung up, leaving Olivia staring down awkwardly at her phone. She needed to get to Bucky. Grabbing her bag, she dashed out of the apartment and onto the street. Her mind raced as she darted through the streets, trying to feel him and pinpoint his location. The entire city was on edge and suddenly so was she.

She made it back to his apartment building in time to see Steve go in, and looking up, saw Sam on the roof. Her heart sank, she was too late. She knew she had to get to Berlin, fast. She pulled out her phone and scrolled through her contacts quickly.

“Pick up, pick up, pick up,” she whispered.

“What is going on? Are you okay?”

“Nat,” she breathed, relived, “I need you to come get me…without alerting Tony.”

“Where are you?” she asked.

“Um…Bucharest,” Olivia said.

“Well shit,” said Natasha, “I’m on my way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! Hope you all enjoy it! It's a longer one, but I'm very pleased with it. Would love to hear feedback, thoughts, and answer any questions :) Don't worry, they may have gotten along briefly in this chapter, but the definitely won't last ;)


	14. I Don't Think He's Bucky Anymore

“Joint Counter Terrorist Centre? But he isn’t a terrorist Nat.”

Olivia was trying to process the information Natasha was telling her, but none of it seemed to make sense. Barnes had planted a bomb at the United Nations, people were dead, people including the King of Wakanda. Steve was not to get involved, but he did anyway, because of course he did. Rhodey was bringing them in, them being Steve, Sam, and Barnes. And no, Natasha didn’t know what was going to happen to them.

“Well I hate to break it to you but he kind of is, even if he didn’t actually blow up the UN,” Nat said, her eyes locked on the road in front of them.

“Right…I forgot,” Olivia said, dropping her head in her hand.

“You just…forgot about the Winter Soldier?” Natasha scoffed.

“Look, I’ve had a very strange couple of days okay?” Olivia said.

“Yeah no kidding,” Natasha laughed. “I can’t believe Stark sent you to find Barnes. Steve is going to be furious.”

“Steve doesn’t own me.”

“Sure, but he is technically your boss.”

“Who writes the checks?”

“Alright, fair point. Still…he’s also had a strange couple of days, this isn’t going to sit well with him,” Natasha said.

“That’s right,” Olivia sighed, “How was Lagos?”

Olivia realized that she’d been so focused on getting every ounce of information about the Barnes situation out of her, that she had completely forgotten that Natasha had been on her own mission with Steve, Wanda, and Sam. Natasha glanced over at her; her lips pursed, then turned her attention back to the road. There was absolutely no reading Natasha. She had so many walls up all the time, that it was no use for Olivia to even try.

“Boy you missed a lot out there with Barnes,” she said.

“What happened?”

“Well…we did our job.”

“That’s great.”

“Sure,” Natasha nodded, “except Wanda inadvertently blew up a hospital, the Avengers were paid a cautionary visit from the Secretary of State, and as if that weren’t enough for Steve to deal with, his old flame, Peggy died.”

“Shit,” Olivia groaned.

“Yeah. No shit, shit,” Natasha nodded. “Now all of this with Barnes and pretty soon he’s going to figure out that you were out doing the one thing he explicitly asked you not to do and that Tony sent you. So, whatever he throws at you…just be gentle.”

“I’m always gentle,” Olivia mumbled.

“Not with Steve you aren’t,” Natasha said, a small smirk across her face.

“Oh please,” Olivia shot.

“Liv c’mon, you’re hard on him. You always have been, even before you knew he was Steve Rogers,” said Natasha.

“Well he’s not a very easy person.”

“I know,” she nodded, “but neither are you.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Olivia grumbled.

“Olivia you used to make Clint cry for sport,” Natasha smirked.

“He deserved it!”

“Didn’t say he didn’t. All I’m saying is, you can be a little rough around the edges.”

Olivia stewed in the moment. Natasha might have had a point, but Olivia didn’t want to hear it. Natasha pulled into the parking garage of a large building and parked the car. She hopped out before Olivia could form any kind of response. Instead of continuing a losing argument with Natasha, she followed her out of the car instead. Tony was waiting for them in front of glass double doors. By the scowl on his face, Olivia knew she was in trouble.

“Alright so I’m going to assume that you didn’t hear me when I said go home, otherwise I know you would not be standing in front of me right now,” Tony snapped, glaring down at Olivia.

“Stark, wait,” Natasha started.

“And you Romanoff, you shouldn’t even have entertained her,” Tony said, cutting her off harshly. “You should have taken her straight home.”

“Tony, he didn’t do it,” Olivia said quickly.

“Well this picture says otherwise,” Tony said.

He flashed his phone screen in front of her face. It was a blurry image at best, but she could still make out Bucky’s face. If she hadn’t been with him hours before, she would have believed it herself.

“Tony it’s not him, it’s faked, I don’t know, but I know he didn’t do it!” she said desperately.

“Come with me,” he said, grabbing her under her arm.

She felt like she was a child, being escorted out of class for speaking out. He pulled her along with him, her feet struggling to keep up. Natasha followed beside them, avoiding Olivia’s gaze. Tony piled them all into an elevator, breathing heavily. Olivia glanced over at him, but he was refusing to look at her too.

“Tony,” she started.

“Nope,” he said shaking his head, “I don’t want to hear it. I gave you a shot Harrington, I let you go after him. Not only did you fail to do that, but you let him slip off to bomb the goddamned United Nations!”

“For fuck’s sake Tony I’m trying to tell you that what you’re telling me is not possible!” she shouted. “If you would just shut the fuck up for, I don’t know, five seconds, I could tell you that I was with him!”

Tony stepped backwards. His eyes widened as he stared down at her. He glanced over to Natasha who shrugged but nodded to confirm that she’d heard the news also.

“What?” he asked incredulously.

“I was with Barnes…all night,” she said slowly.

She could feel her face grow warm as Tony’s eyes narrowed at her. The implications of her revelation had hit them both at the same time.

“No, not like that!” she said quickly. “Jesus…I just…I tracked him to his apartment. We had a bit of a…scuffle and he asked me what felt like a thousand questions. I was exhausted and when he couldn’t promise me that he would stay if I left, I slept on his couch.”

Tony nodded slowly, processing her words. When the elevator stopped, they stepped off and he ushered her into an office.

“What about the time when you were asleep?” he asked. “How do you account for that?”

“Tony,” she sighed, “I felt him the entire time. Every minute of every day that I was looking for him. Especially in the last few days. There was no break. Don’t you think that if he were going to go plant a bomb at the United Nations, he would have blocked me from feeling him?”

“He ran Olivia, it just looks bad,” Tony said gently.

“Well you would run too if you were surrounded by men pointing guns at you!” she cried.

“Listen, Olive,” said Tony, “I want to believe you, even if I did, the situation is messy. We were supposed to stay out of this one, but Steve and Sam inserted themselves and now they’re in some deep shit too. Even if you’re right, and he didn’t do this, his list of crimes is long.”

“He was brainwashed Tony,” Natasha said from the corner of the room. “You know there’s a work-around for that.”

Tony’s head shot over in her direction. He and Olivia both knew what she meant by it. Tony nodded at her, then looked down at Olivia.

“You’re going to have to convince more than just me,” he sighed. “The new King of Wakanda is after blood. He wants him dead Olivia.”

“Fine,” Olivia nodded, “I can do that.”

Olivia clutched the chair next to her as a wave of anxiety and fear washed over her. She looked up at Tony, wide eyed.

“He’s here,” she breathed.

“Barnes?” Tony asked.

“Yeah,” she nodded, “I can feel him.”

Tony, Natasha, and Olivia all turned as the doors to the office opened. Steve and Sam were being escorted by a middle-aged man; his dark hair flecked with grey. Steve’s eyes widened at the sight of Olivia. He glanced over at Tony, but Tony was focused on the man escorting Steve and Sam.

“Deputy Ross, have you met our newest addition Olivia Harrington?” he asked, grabbing her hand, and pulling her towards them. “Kidding, I know you haven’t.”

“What is this Stark?” he asked, shaking Olivia’s hand with his eyebrow raised

“I have the same question,” Steve said, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Okay, Steve, before you freak out, Olivia has some information here that might be valuable to us,” Tony said quickly.

Olivia looked up at Tony, her eyes wide. He gently nudged her with his elbow and nodded encouragingly.

“Alright,” Olivia said slowly, “Barnes…uh…okay well…he didn’t do it. He didn’t bomb the UN.”

Sam groaned from behind Steve, his hand hit his forehead. Ross raised his eyebrows in shock at Tony and scoffed disbelievingly.

“I really don’t have time for this Stark,” Ross said.

“Okay wait, I probably should have prefaced that,” Tony said quickly. “Olivia is our newest team member and I assigned her to find Barnes. She’s been tracking him for weeks,” he said, his eyes lingering on Steve.

“The point is, I found him,” Olivia interrupted. “Yesterday to be exact. He couldn’t have done this; I was with him all night.”

It was her turn to glance up at Steve, but he was not looking back. His eyes stared blankly ahead; she could see his jaw clenched.

“I don’t know why I’m explaining this to you, but he could have planted the bomb at any time,” Ross said, “it didn’t have today, or last night.”

“I’ve been on his tail for weeks,” Olivia argued.

“And did you have eyes on him every minute of every day?” Ross challenged.

“No,” Olivia stared.

“Exactly,” Ross nodded.

“Olivia’s an empath,” Steve said, “she can feel what others are feeling, make them feel what she’s feeling, manipulate emotions.”

“Special,” Ross sighed, “I really don’t have time for this.”

“She was with Barnes when he was in HYDRA, they forced her to use her power against him for three years,” Steve continued, “they share a mental connection. She would have known if he’d gone too far from her. She would have sensed it.”

“Okay, all that tells me is that I should probably put you in custody as well,” Ross said to Olivia.

“You’re not going to arrest her,” Steve said sharply.

“Well no, of course not,” Ross snapped, “regardless, none of this means anything to me. I have to go.”

“East wing, sub-level 5, that’s where he is,” Olivia said quickly. “I know because I can feel him.”

Ross spun around to face her. He studied her for a moment, then looked over at Tony. Tony shrugged and shook his head.

“I didn’t tell her,” Tony said. “I didn’t even know.”

“I’m not lying to you,” Olivia told Ross. “I have no reason to protect him. He’s nothing to me. Just another face from the worst years of my life.”

“Well this presents a problem,” Ross grumbled. “Stay here.”

There was a brief silence after he’d left. No one moved, but everyone avoided looking at Steve. He didn’t need to drop his guard for Olivia to feel the rage coming off of him.

“Tony, what part of you thought it was a good idea to send her after him,” Steve snapped, breaking the tension in the room.

“Uh…all of me?” Tony replied. “It worked out for the best didn’t it?”

Steve glared at him furiously. He lunged towards Tony, but Olivia stepped in front of him, placing on hand gently on his chest. His eyes softened as they met hers. The anger he felt couldn’t overcome the relief he had at seeing her.

“I’m so sorry Steve,” she said gently.

He nodded. Her apology was all encompassing. It was for everything that had happened in the last few days. She could feel his anger slowly subside.

“Give us a minute,” Olivia said to the others.

“Yep, that sounds good,” Tony said leading Sam and Natasha out of the room.

They were silent for a few moments. The last time they’d been alone she had nearly punched him. The time before that, they had shared a kiss. They had spent so much time apart, being alone with him again made her realize how much she missed him. She almost felt as though she could kiss him again, but she didn’t know if the feeling was coming from him or from her.

“Did he hurt you?” Steve asked, breaking the silence.

“He doesn’t have it in him,” Olivia said, giving him a crooked smile. “You know that.”

His eyes searched hers, but she couldn’t understand what he was looking for. She pressed her hand against his cheek. His hand moved to hers and held it in place. This was their routine now; she would feel the things he couldn’t say. He was distraught, worried. There was so much for him to be worried about. Then she felt concern, for her, and a twinge of jealousy. He shrugged and pressed his lips together, knowing she felt it.

“He asked about you,” Olivia said, trying to alleviate his worries.

“You misinterpreted that,” he sighed.

Olivia let out a disbelieving laugh. She thought Steve was jealous of Olivia, that she’d seen Bucky, talked to him. He wasn’t jealous of her at all, he was jealous of Bucky.

“I stayed there to make sure he didn’t run off,” she assured him. “Steve…you heard what I told Ross, he’s nothing to me.”

“Liv,” Steve smiled, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, “you lied to Ross to help Bucky. You don’t have to lie to me.”

Olivia shook her head and stepped back.

“I wasn’t lying Steve,” she said, “he means nothing to me.”

“Okay Liv,” Steve said, throwing his hands up in defense, “I believe you. That doesn’t change us.”

The door opened again. This time a young blonde woman came in swiftly. Immediately Steve took a step away from Olivia, putting a significant amount of space between them. Olivia could feel an odd buzz between Steve and the young woman, she knew instantly that there was some history there. A pang of jealousy flared up in her, but she shoved it down deep. After all, she’d been the one to turn Steve down.

“Olivia this is Sharon,” Steve said, introducing them awkwardly.

“Nice to meet you,” Sharon said with a small smile.

Olivia nodded, returning her smile.

“What’s going on?” Steve asked.

“Well, before we can clear Barnes, we need hard proof that it wasn’t him, no offense,” she said to Olivia.

“None taken,” Olivia said shaking her head, “I get it.”

Not to mention we’re in a complete scramble to figure out who set him up, and for what reason,” she explained.

“Right,” Steve nodded.

“Tony is working on a deal to get you and Sam out of trouble as we speak,” said Sharon. “It’s looking positive, but you’re all going to have to lay low for a while. Fly under the radar. I’ve heard talks of implementing some sort of laws to keep you all in check. If you aren’t careful, there could be some very serious consequences.”

“Fine,” Steve nodded, “I can’t say I’m surprised.”

“If you want to come with me, they’re going to start the psych evaluation on Barnes,” she said, eyeing Olivia awkwardly. “Sorry Olivia, Ross asked me to keep you here. He doesn’t want you interfering in any way.”

“Of course,” Olivia nodded.

She looked at Steve and they shared a brief smile. They both knew that she didn’t need to have eyes on Bucky to interfere. She wouldn’t though, she’d promised that she wouldn’t use her powers on him again without his consent, and that was a promise she intended to keep. Steve left with Sharon and Olivia felt the twinge of jealousy again.

Olivia went to the large table in the office and lifted herself to sit on top of it. She smiled as Sam and Natasha came back in. They each pulled a chair out and sat in front of her.

“Here to babysit?” she asked.

“You’ve caused quite a stir Harrington,” Sam laughed.

“Who’s Sharon?” Olivia asked, without thinking.

“Seriously?” Sam scoffed, “After everything, that’s your big question?”

“She was assigned to watch Steve back in D.C., he had a bit of a thing for her when he thought she was just his nurse neighbor. When he found out she was actually a SHIELD agent he sort of…shut her out,” Natasha explained.

“So his type is…the neighbor girl with a secret?” Olivia smirked.

“Something like that,” Natasha chuckled.

“Turns out she’s Peggy’s niece,” Sam added.

Olivia and Natasha both looked him, wide eyed. He laughed and shook his head.

“Yeah I know,” he said, “I thought it was weird too.”

“Well whatever makes him happy,” Natasha shrugged.

“Yeah,” Olivia nodded.

They both looked up at her and she immediately knew she hadn’t sounded as convincing as she’d wanted to sound. Natasha raised an eyebrow at her.

“Are you jealous Olivia?” Natasha asked.

“No,” she said shaking her head, “of course not. I turned Steve down; it was my decision.”

“Was it though?” Sam asked. “Or did Steve just assume you had feelings for someone else.”

“I don’t have feeling for anyone else,” Olivia said, knotting her brow skeptically.

“Look, I was with you when we were looking for Barnes and I just want to say…are you sure about that?” Sam asked.

Natasha smacked the back of his head. He jumped, and pouted, rubbing the spot where she hit. Olivia was grateful for Natasha; she’d wanted to do the same thing.

“Bucky,” she breathed.

“Yeah, him, exactly,” Sam nodded.

“No, you idiot,” Olivia snapped, “something is wrong. He’s trying to tell me that something is wrong.”

“What?” Sam asked, glancing at Natasha.

The three of them looked at each other as the lights flickered out. Sam and Natasha watched her cautiously, waiting for their next move. Olivia’s heart raced as her connection to Bucky weakened.

“I can’t feel him,” she said looking between Sam and Natasha.

“What does that mean Olivia?” Natasha asked quickly.

“I don’t think he’d Bucky anymore,” she said slowly, “I think he’s the Winter Soldier.”

“Let’s go,” Natasha said, grabbing Olivia’s hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick update! This is part one of the Civil War fiasco. I hope you all enjoy it! Thank you for continuing to read and leave amazing comments! I appreciate them all!


	15. Are You Firing Me?

Tony shoved Olivia down into the nearest chair he could find. He glared up at Natasha; Olivia knew he was furious that Natasha hadn’t kept her locked up in the office.

“You,” he said sharply pointing at her, “are to stay here. I don’t care if you hear something, I don’t care if you think you can help, you stay. Got that?”

“Uh…”

“Wrong answer,” he snapped.

“Fine, I'll stay,” she lied.

“Please tell me you brought a suit,” Natasha said to Tony.

“We were supposed to stay out of this one remember?” Tony snapped.

“That’s never stopped you before,” Olivia muttered.

“Olive, not the time,” he said.

“Follow me,” Sharon said, coming up behind Tony and Natasha.

Tony glared down at Olivia once more. He pointed a finger at her firmly and then at the ground, it meant that she was to stay put, and if she didn’t there would be consequences. She winked at him. He didn’t like that response, but he didn’t have time to stay and argue with her.

The buzz and panic that surrounded her was overwhelming. Her entire body itched with anticipation; her leg bounced uncontrollably. Staying put was absolutely not an option. She thought about following Sam who had gone to find Steve, but Steve wasn’t her priority, he’d be alright. What she needed was to get to Barnes, close enough to turn off the Winter Soldier. She’d never done it before; they’d never asked her to. HYDRA had simply erased him and put him on ice after each mission. There was no reason for her to believe that she could, but she had to try.

It wasn’t hard to find them, the screams and gunshots were enough. She hid behind a pillar, watching as Tony tried his best to disarm Barnes. Had she known that Sharon and Natasha were waiting, planning their own attack, she might have gone about things differently. As it were, the pure adrenaline that was pumping through her, clouded her judgement and her powers, she couldn’t feel anything from anyone.

“Tony!” she screamed, as Barnes threw him into a group of chairs.

She threw herself at Bucky, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck and pulling him away from Tony. He was much stronger than she was, but her surprise attack had caught him off guard, for a moment at least. His metal arm wrapped around her wrist and she released him under the pressure. He turned on her swiftly, she had just enough time to grab the switchblade she’d recovered that morning, from her belt. Swinging blindly, she slashed the blade against his shoulder. He paused a moment and they stared at each other, wide eyed, as blood began to soak his shirt. With one hand he grabbed her wrist, with the other, his metal hand, he took her by the neck and pushed her up against the wall.

“Barnes, stop,” she gasped.

He squeezed her wrist tightly and she dropped the knife, then he released her arm. In a last-ditch effort, she reached out, trying to touch his face, but he was too far out of her reach. Her vision blurred as she struggled for breath.

“Bucky, please,” she choked out.

For a brief moment, she thought she saw recognition in his eyes, but it passed quickly. Sharon came up behind him and he released Olivia as the fight turned towards her. She gasped for breath, dizzy from the lack of oxygen. Olivia watched as Sharon and Nat struggled to fight against Barnes. She tried and failed to steady her breathing. Panic was settling atop her chest, and it was entirely her own.

Tony rushed over to her, keeping low and out of sight. When he reached her, he began silently checking her for signs of extensive damage. He didn’t need to say anything for Olivia to know how angry he was. Olivia didn’t even need to use her powers to know how angry he was.

“I’m fine,” she lied, pushing him off of her. She couldn’t risk him noticing that she was far from fine and actually on the verge of completely breaking down.

“We’re working on your listening skills when we get back,” he said gruffly.

“Tony,” Nat said, making her way towards him, “he’s gone. T’Challa lost him.”

Tony looked up, surveying the mess. Olivia knew he wouldn’t go after Barnes if he thought she wasn’t okay. She wasn’t okay, that was the truth. Her chest grew heavier with panic as the pain in her wrist sharpened and the aching in her throat grew. She’d spent countless hours training with Barnes. He was ruthless and she knew it. Still, he’d never even come close to actually hurting her until now. He would have killed her if Sharon hadn’t stepped in, she knew it. As hard as she tried to rationalize the distinction between Barnes and the Winter Soldier, the implications of their interaction were unmistakable.

There was a tugging in the back of her brain. It was him; it was Barnes. There was a part of Barnes that was still reaching out to her, which meant that he wasn’t completely lost to the Winter Soldier. He still needed her. Her breathing steadied as she swallowed the panic. She’d deal with it later, now she needed to deal with Barnes.

“Tony,” she said gently, “I’m fine, you guys need to go look for him.”

“Well I’m not leaving you alone again,” he said wryly.

“I can stay.”

Olivia glanced over at the source of the voice. She didn’t need to be introduced to the young king of Wakanda to know it was him. He was handsome, strong, and something about him made Olivia feel safe. Tony looked up at him and nodded slightly. Everything about him screamed trustworthy, so Tony stood up and left with Natasha and Sharon.

“You know I have no intention of staying here right?” Olivia asked.

“Oh, I know,” he nodded, a slight smile breaking out across his face. “I’m T’Challa by the way.”

He offered her his hand and she took it, smiling gratefully. She stumbled as he pulled her up, still lightheaded. He caught her and steadied her.

“Thanks,” she said. “I’m Olivia.”

“Yes,” he nodded, “I have heard. Can you take me to Barnes?” he asked.

“That depends,” she said, “do you still want to kill him?”

“If what you say is true, then I want to help him,” said T’Challa.

Olivia raised an eyebrow at him. She wasn’t sure what exactly he meant by that. However, she wasn’t exactly in any position to deny his help. They both looked up as a loud crashing noise caught their attention. Olivia gaped as a helicopter crashed into the water next to the building.

“A helicopter…really?” she groaned. She looked up at T’Challa and nodded, “I don’t know what kind of help you’re offering, but it looks like they’re going to need whatever they can get. Let’s go.”

* * *

As Steve pulled Bucky through the water and up onto the bank, he couldn’t help but think that elements of their friendship had come full circle…again. The last time they were in this position, Bucky was pulling him from the water, although both times were technically Bucky’s fault. It didn’t matter though, Steve knew he’d spend an eternity chasing Bucky and pulling him out of water, metaphorically or otherwise. In his right mind, Steve knew Bucky would do the same for him.

He knelt beside Bucky, checking his pulse. The idiot was still alive, good. The helicopters that began swarming around them were not so good. He pulled out his phone, it was soaked, but Tony was smart enough to make sure water didn’t disturb the mechanics. He dialed Sam’s number quickly.

“Steve,” Sam said into the receiver, “we have the guy. The one who did it. They’re interrogating him now…but they’re still looking for Barnes.”

“Yeah…the helicopters were a tip off,” Steve said sarcastically.

“Tony’s working on it, but you should make him disappear,” said Sam. “There’s no way they’re going to go easy on him.”

“Alright,” Steve nodded, “Thanks Sam.”

“Steve wait,” Sam said, “Olivia is missing.”

“What?” Steve felt his stomach flip.

“Yeah…listen, Barnes almost killed her…despite that, Tony thinks she may have gone after you two,” Sam said. “Although, T’Challa is missing too, so it’s also likely that he’s using her to get to Barnes…unless of course…” Sam hesitated.

“Damnit,” Steve breathed, “unless they’re working together?”

“Yeah…unless they’re working together.”

He didn’t know what that meant. The last he knew, the King of Wakanda wanted Bucky dead. He didn’t think Olivia would help him find Bucky if she knew T’Challa wanted to kill him. Then again if she’d been attacked by Bucky her goals might have shifted. Fortunately, he didn’t have to wait long to figure it out.

“Steve!” Olivia exclaimed, running down the rocks towards them.

“Found her,” he said to Sam, “I’ll talk to you soon.”

She dropped down in front of him and threw her arms around his neck. He was furious with her, for a multitude of reasons, but it was hard not to give into her. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed his face into her hair.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly.

“I should be asking you that,” she said, a relieved laugh escaping her lips.

She pulled back and smiled at him broadly. He let her run a hand through his soaking wet hair. She brushed her thumb over a cut Bucky had left on his cheek, wiping the blood away. It felt good to be doted on by her, their relationship had been strained for so long. Maybe, he thought, they could return to some sort of normalcy.

Her eyes drifted from him and onto Bucky, and the thought escaped him. She let out a small gasp and stood, rushing over to him. Just like that she was gone from him, her focus pulled back to Bucky. It wasn’t jealousy that gripped him, as much as it was resignation. It was unfair of him to be angry with her, he had after all, been the one to send her after Bucky in the very first place. He had been the one to ask her to reopen that connection fully, blinded by the desire to have his friend back. She was doing what he’d asked, making sure Bucky would become Bucky again. Besides, Steve didn’t need her the way Bucky did, at least he would convince himself of that.

As she gently ran her fingers over the bloody cut on Bucky’s forehead, another thought crossed Steve’s mind. Bucky had tried to kill her, and Steve couldn’t be sure that he was back to himself. He shot up pulling her gently away from him.

“Liv,” he said, “be careful, I don’t know if he’s Bucky or if…”

“It’s him,” Olivia said quickly, “I can feel him.”

Steve nodded, of course she could feel him. She moved back to him, setting his head in her lap. She ripped off a piece of her shirt from the bottom and held it against Bucky’s forehead, to stop the bleeding. Steve sat back, leaning himself against a tree branch. He knew they needed to leave, and quick, but he couldn’t resist raking a short break. It didn’t last long; his breaks never did.

“Captain Rogers.”

Steve jumped at T’Challa’s voice. He stood and squared up. Steve didn’t want to fight him again; he didn’t think he had it in him. For Bucky, he would.

“He didn’t do it,” Steve said quickly. If he could reason with T’Challa, maybe there wouldn’t be a fight at all.

“I know,” T’Challa nodded, “I’m not here to fight you.”

“Then why are you here?” Steve asked sharply.

“I can help him,” T’Challa said, nodding towards Bucky.

“I thought you wanted him dead,” Steve said, raising an eyebrow.

“Steve,” Olivia said sharply, “he’s offering his help. I trust him. And quite frankly we are out of options. Take his help.”

“We?” he asked. If she thought for one second that she was coming with them, she had another thing coming.

“Uh…yes,” she said, shaking her head.

“No,” Steve said firmly, “You’re going back to Tony. He’s taking care of things now; he’ll make sure you’re safe.

“We don’t have time for this,” T’Challa said sharply. “We have to go…now.”

Steve nodded and breezed past Olivia, throwing Bucky over his shoulder. Olivia got to her feet and began to follow him.

“Liv,” Steve sighed, “he tried to kill you, I can’t promise it won’t happen again.”

He saw her falter ever so slightly. She was hiding how shaken she was by the ordeal. It was a small relief to him. Her sense of self-preservation wasn’t entirely shot by her desire to help Bucky.

“Excuse me Captain,” T’Challa said, “but if he wakes up and is…agitated, wouldn’t it be better to have her on board?”

Steve hesitated, turning his attention to Olivia. How did T’Challa know about her connection to Bucky? She gave him a half-hearted smile and shrugged lightly.

“I explained the situation to him on our way over here,” she said, “it was the only way to convince him that Barnes didn’t do it.”

“Fine, you can come with us. But you get to call and tell Tony,” Steve said. Olivia groaned as he turned to T’Challa, “What do you mean ‘on board’?”

T’Challa smiled and nodded his head, indicating that Steve follow him.

* * *

Olivia was exhausted, her head hurt, and her body ached. She’d been listening to Tony rant at her for ten minutes. He was furious of course. In the past twenty-four hours, she’d directly disobeyed him at least “a hundred times”, although Olivia felt like it closer five or six. She wasn’t about to argue with him again though.

“Tony,” she said into the phone, “I’m sorry. I should have listened, but I’m fine. Really. Barnes is still out, but I’m sure the Winter Soldier is gone for now.”

“Damn right you should have listened,” Tony snapped. “Look, Olive, when you get back…I hate to do it, but Steve and I have already talked about it.”

“Are you firing me?” Olivia asked, her heart sinking.

“No,” he replied, “but you are suspended for the foreseeable future.”

“I’m sorry,” Olivia said loudly enough to get Steve’s attention as well, “Not only did I find Barnes, but I saved him and you all from what could have been an international crisis involving Wakanda…which apparently is a lot more technologically advanced than you idiots gave it credit for!”

Steve groaned and ran a hand through his hair. T’Challa grinned, he didn’t need to helm the Wakandan jet, it flew perfectly on its own.

“Well Zemo still worked his way into Barnes’ brain and unleashed the Winter Soldier on an entire Counter Terrorist building, which has its own set of consequences!” Tony snapped.

“How is that my fault?” Olivia screamed back.

Tony sighed heavily into her ear. “Olive, you’re running on pure adrenaline right now. You’re not even processing everything you’ve been through. When you come crashing down, and believe me you will, you’re going to thank us for the break.”

“I doubt it,” she grumbled.

“Hand the phone to Steve,” he said firmly.

“It’s my phone.”

“Hand it to Steve.”

Olivia huffed and stormed over to Steve, thrusting her phone into his hand. He gave her an apologetic smile, but she wanted nothing to do with it.

“Do we know what his motive was?” she heard Steve ask Tony.

She knew that neither of them would give her any more information, she was officially grounded. Strictly here at the behest of an actual King to keep an eye on Barnes. Barnes. She turned towards him, surprised to see that he was finally awake. He was sitting up on the table, his head leaned back against the wall and his metal arm restrained at the wrist hung above him. She glanced at Steve, but he hadn’t noticed, he was still on the phone with Tony. T’Challa too, was preoccupied, seemingly giving directions to one of his fierce guards.

Slowly she made her way over to him. He lifted his head as he heard her approach, watching warily. Olivia couldn’t help but notice how pale he looked. Upon closer inspection, she realized that he was still bleeding beneath his shirt, from the gash she’d made in his shoulder. He flinched as she moved closer.

“Barnes,” she said gently, “you’re still bleeding. I need to see it.”

“I’m fine,” he said gruffly, “don’t come closer.”

“Okay,” she nodded, “I won’t.”

Olivia felt a twinge of hurt, realizing that Bucky hardly recognized her again. She worried that any progress they had made had been lost. Steve came up slowly behind her and placed his hand on her shoulder. She stepped back further under the weight of his grasp; he was protecting her. Apparently, he didn’t think the distance between the two was enough.

“Steve,” Bucky said slowly, his brow knitting in confusion. “What did I do?”

“It wasn’t you Buck,” Steve said.

“I knew this would happen,” he said, dropping his head back defeated. “All he had to do was say the goddamned words.”

“That’s why you’re here,” Steve said. “This is T’Challa,” he said gesturing to the King at his side, “he can help you.”

“Well,” T’Challa said with a laugh, “my sister can anyway. She’ll be excited to have something new to work on.”

Olivia watched him carefully for any sign of the Winter Soldier, but that seemed to be over. He seemed to be back in full. He nodded at Steve and T’Challa, she knew he wouldn’t put up a fight.

“What’s Tiny doing here?” he asked, glancing at Olivia.

She bit her lip, trying not to smile. He remembered enough. Steve looked between them, nodding slightly as he realized who “Tiny” was.

“We brought her along in case you needed help emotionally adjusting,” Steve said.

“Well,” he sighed, “I’m fine.”

“Except for the bleeding,” Olivia shot.

“Right, except for that.” He glanced down at his shoulder as he said it.

“Here,” T’Challa said, reaching for a first aid kit. “It’s a bit primitive. We’re usually more prepared, this trip was supposed to be strictly political, however. I’m sure this is stuff you’re used to, though,” he added with a grin.

Steve moved to take the kit from him, but Olivia stepped in taking it in her own hands. Steve looked down, raising an eyebrow at her.

“I got it,” she said, “I’ll take care of it.”

“Fine,” Steve sighed, “I’m tired of fighting you.”

His words were like a punch to the gut. She’d pushed him too far. In truth, she’d probably pushed most of them too far, Tony, Nat, Sam. The panic she’d pushed down was starting to creep back in, she could feel her heart beating loudly in her ears.

“Hey,” Barnes said, distracting her from the panic, “I’m starting to feel light-headed, so any day now with that help would be great.”

“You’re such an asshole,” she said moving closer to him.

Slowly she lifted his shirt. He winced, pulling his arm of the sleeve. She’d sliced him deep and he was still bleeding, but not enough to make him feel light-headed.

“Maybe,” he shrugged, “but you aren’t panicking anymore.”

“Oh,” she nodded, “right…thanks.”

She wiped the blood from his skin with alcohol, examining the wound carefully. Admittedly, she was satisfied with herself. She’d managed to do some damage against him, and that felt like a small recompense for her still aching neck.

“I probably deserved it,” he mumbled, his head dropping back against the wall.

“Oh, you definitely deserved it,” she said.

"You did this?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes."

"I'm impressed." 

She grinned slightly.

"You're pleased with yourself aren't you?" he asked.

"Just a little," she said.

"Ah," he groaned as she pressed firmly against it. She held the compress over it tightly, trying to stop the bleeding.

"Sorry," she said. "It's already starting to heal though, so that's good. Lucky you with your enhanced healing and shit.”

“Yeah,” he laughed darkly, “lucky me.”

“How are you feeling Barnes?” she asked, eyeing him.

“Does it matter?”

She brought her eyes up to meet his.

“Yes, absolutely.”

His mouth opened and closed, clearly taken aback by the genuineness of her response. She’d meant it, despite everything, she had truly meant it.

“I’m fine I guess,” he said finally.

“You’re not,” Olivia scoffed, “but it’s okay. We don’t have to talk about it.”

“Thanks,” he said, his mouth forming a thin line.

He hardly moved as she wrapped his shoulder. It made her nervous how still he could be. He was suppressing his emotions too, so that Olivia could scarcely make them out. She was too tired to pick through the walls he was putting up. If he thought she was trying, he might throw her exhaustion, panic, all of it back at her to keep her from getting in. She was barely keeping together as it were, she couldn’t afford to feel it all twice.

“So…you uh seemed to…really piss Steve off,” he said after a moment. She was surprised and slightly annoyed at his attempt to start some sort of conversation with her.

“We don’t have to talk about anything, you know?” she said bitterly.

“I was just making an observation.”

“Are you remembering him more now?” Olivia asked.

“Yeah,” Bucky nodded with a short laugh, “he used to put newspaper in his shoes.”

Olivia’s breathing hitched and caught in her throat. She didn’t realize she was staring at him, wide eyed, until he looked up at her and knitted his brow in confusion.

“What’s wrong with you?” he asked, eyeing her warily.

“I just didn’t think I’d ever see you actually smile, let alone laugh,” she said, trying to recover from her shock.

“Well I’ll try not to do it again,” he muttered. “Wouldn’t want you keeling over out of shock.”

“And a joke, wow,” Olivia teased, “big day for you Barnes.” Olivia groaned and bit her lip, “I’m sorry, that was insensitive.”

“It’s fine,” he said shaking his head, “are you almost done?”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “Can I ask you something?” she added softly.

“I remember the apartment,” he said, answering her question before she could even ask it.

“Oh…good.”

“I…uh,” he sighed heavily, “I’ve forgotten your name again though. All I’ve got is Tiny.”

“It’s Olivia,” she said.

“Right,” he nodded, “Olivia.”

“If it helps…you can use your cruel little nickname,” she smirked.

He glanced at her, making sure the “cruel” part was a joke. When he saw her smiling, he breathed out, returning hers with a small smile of his own.

“Alright, you're done,” she said as she finished, “put your shirt back on before Steve over there swoons.”

“How did you know he was watching?” Bucky asked as he pulled his arm back into his shirt.

“Lucky guess,” she shrugged, “or…”

“You felt him,” Bucky finished for her.

“I’m going to check your head, you hit it pretty hard,” she said.

When he nodded, she moved in closer. The cut had been much bigger when she’d first found them, it looked like it would still bruise though. She ran her thumb gently across it. He let out a sharp breath that startled her. She looked down, afraid that she’d hurt him. His eyes were locked on her neck. She realized he was staring at the bruising she knew he’d left on her throat. Her hand instinctively flew up to cover her neck.

“I did that to you,” he breathed. It wasn’t a question.

“It was the other guy,” Olivia said.

“There is no other guy Olivia,” he said sadly, “it’s still me.”

“Bucky stop,” Olivia said firmly, “it isn’t you. The Winter Soldier, he isn’t you.”

He put his hand on her shoulder and gently pushed her away from him.

“I’m good now,” he said, “you can go.”

Olivia nodded, and turned away. Her part in bringing him back was over. She had found him, gotten him out of trouble. He remembered Steve and he would get help in Wakanda. She was no longer tied to him, except for their lingering connection. That wouldn’t go away, she knew it wouldn’t, but they could both try to weaken it. She knew he would.

When they reached Wakanda she opted to stay on the jet and wait for Steve to come back. There wasn’t a need for her anymore and this next part was for Steve to deal with anyway. She could feel Steve’s sadness as he boarded the jet again.

Steve’s eyes were full of concern as they reached each other. That meant that she probably looked like shit, she didn’t care though. She was so tired, and as much as she hated to admit that Tony was right, everything began to hit her.

“They’re going to put him on ice until they can figure out a way to remove HYDRA’s programming,” Steve told her, watching her cautiously.

“Alright,” she said, barely hearing his words.

“Are you okay Olivia?” he asked, placing his hand against her cheek.

“I want to go home,” she sighed, holding in her tears.

Steve nodded, smiling down at her gently.

“He appreciates everything you did,” Steve said, “and so do I.”

“You’re not angry with me?” Olivia asked.

“No,” he said shaking his head, “you helped bring him back. He’s going to be okay and I have you, among others, to thank for it.”

The wall she had built to keep her strong began crumbling. The last few months had turned her world completely on its head. She’d barely had time to process one thing, without being thrown into the next. She couldn’t feel Bucky anymore and a part of her felt empty. She pressed her head against Steve’s chest and began to release. He wrapped his arms around her as she collapsed into him. He felt safe and comfortable, as he always had to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this turned out to be a long one, I know. I did my best, but action and fighting are really not in my wheelhouse, so hopefully it turned out okay. I wanted to add that I'm ignoring the Bucky killed Tony's parents plot, because that's a lot to unpack when I bring him back. I hope y'all can forgive me for it! Just a reminder, this is a slow burn here, so I'm taking my time. Lastly, things will probably get a little fluffier and a bit more fun from here on out for a bit. I want to play around with the Avengers family a bit without following the MCU timeline so much. I hope that's okay! Thank you all for reading and continuing to leave me amazing feedback!


	16. Baking Again

After one month of being grounded, Olivia was starting to lose her mind. Tony and Steve weren’t overly enthusiastic about her calling it being grounded. They preferred to say that she was on a mental health break or taking time to recover. They could call it whatever they wanted; she knew what it really was, a grounding of epic proportions.

The rest of the team was, for the most part, laying low. They had to after their slew of mess missions. That didn’t mean that most of them were almost never around. In fact, there was usually only one of them there at a time to keep Olivia company. So far, she’d been left with Clint, Natasha, Wanda, Rhodey, and Vision. Vision by far was her least favorite, mostly because he didn’t indulge her in the way the others did, but also because she couldn’t feel anything from him at all. He was a complete unknown to her. Unfortunately for Olivia, she was left alone with him the most. Tony wasn’t convinced the rest of the world was ready for too much Vision exposure. This time she’d been left alone with him for a week and she was more than ready for the return of just one person she could have a normal conversation with.

Olivia was in the kitchen, baking. She didn’t care if her last batch of muffins had gone uneaten, or if there were still two and half pies on the counter. It didn’t matter that everyone was absolutely sick of the endless supply of baked goods, she needed an outlet. Currently it was cupcakes, strawberry ones to be exact. She was pulling them out of the oven and placing them on the cooling rack. What she didn’t know was that Vision had walked in and was standing in the entrance behind her. She never knew when Vision was around.

“Baking again?”

She jumped dropping half a pan of cupcakes onto the floor. If it had been anyone other than Vision, she would have felt their presence. She turned fiercely on him, her hand flying to her hip. He had phased into his human form, something he usually did around her, and was watching her, bemused.

“Yes, I am baking again,” she snapped, “I need something to keep me from going insane.”

“Is it working?” he asked.

“It was until you scared that shit out of me,” she sighed, bending over to pick up the fallen cupcakes.

“You’ll have to make more,” he observed.

“I mean yeah,” she said, “I guess so. I have enough frosting for twelve and now I only have six…so yes. I’ll need to bake more cupcakes and subsequently make more frosting.”

“You’re welcome then,” he said.

“I’m…what?” she said, shaking her head.

“Well, you said that baking was keeping you from going insane and now, because I unintentionally made you drop half of your cupcakes on the ground, you’ll need to make more. More baking means less insanity, so…you’re welcome.” He smiled as he finished his explanation.

Olivia narrowed her eyes at him. She didn’t need to tell him that if she hadn’t dropped her cupcakes on the ground, she could move on to baking something else. She also knew that this was probably his attempt to lighten her mood a little. But she couldn’t read him, so she couldn’t be sure, and Vision never came to her unless there he had a very specific reason.

“Alright,” she sighed, “thanks Viz. Now what’s up? Is the team back?”

“Yes,” he nodded, “there is a meeting in twenty minutes.”

“Okay…thank you,” Olivia said.

He lingered in the kitchen. Since Olivia knew him to be kind of a lingerer, she didn’t really think anything of it, then he cleared loudly cleared his throat.

“Is there something else?” Olivia asked, trying her best to smile.

“Well, yes,” he nodded, “I came here to see if we could work out some sort of friendship.”

Olivia blinked rapidly. They’d been alone all week; he’d had every opportunity to bond with her. She shrugged but nodded her head.

“Yeah, sure…okay,” she said. “Is that why you phased?”

“Generally, I phase into my human form in front of you,” he said, “I assumed it made you more comfortable around me.”

“Well, you don’t have to.”

“It doesn’t make you more comfortable?”

“You can just…be yourself. It’s probably better for my comfortably level.”

“Oh,” he said, “alright then.”

He phased back to normal and Olivia smiled. She felt a twinge of guilt, if she’d known he’d been doing it just for her, she would have nipped it a long time ago. Besides, his appearance was not what made her uncomfortable.

“I have to admit,” she said cautiously, “the reason you make me uncomfortable is strictly because I can’t read you at all. It’s not even that I want to know what you’re feeling at any given moment, it’s really just that I don’t feel anything from you at all. Even the most guarded person gives off something.”

“Perhaps I haven’t quite learned how to emote in a human way yet,” said Vision. “Maybe I won’t ever. I would still like to be friends.”

“Well,” Olivia chuckled, “how about for starters, when you walk up behind me you give me some sort of…warning. You know, so that I don’t drop my fresh cupcakes all over the floor.”

“That sounds fair,” he smiled.

“Something smells good,” came Wanda’s voice from being them, “are you baking again Liv?”

They both turned their attention towards Wanda as she breezed past them. Olivia felt a rush of overwhelming fondness for the young woman, she touched her hand to her cheek, feeling it flush. Olivia couldn’t keep her eyes off her as Wanda searched for something to eat.

“Uh…yeah,” Olivia replied.

Wanda peeled back the cellophane from the plate of banana muffins that Olivia had made the day prior and grabbed one. She turned to smile at Olivia, taking a large bite out of the muffin.

“They’re really good,” she said brightly.

“Oh, um thank you,” Olivia nodded.

Wanda raised an eyebrow at her, but Olivia just smiled and turned back to her cupcakes, fiddling with them on the plate.

“See you at the meeting,” said Wanda.

Olivia nodded and raised her hand in a small wave.

“Bye Viz,” Wanda said to Vision.

Olivia’s heart skipped as Wanda said Vision’s name. She turned in time to see that Wanda had placed her hand gently on Vision’s chest as she passed him. Olivia’s mouth dropped and she stood staring at Vision, her eyes wide.

“What?” Vision asked.

“What, what? Nothing. What?” Olivia stammered, shaking her head furiously.

“Why are you staring like that?” he asked, cocking his head to the side.

“Just…um…well,” Olivia said with an awkward laugh, “do you have feelings for Wanda?”

It was Vision’s turn to turn awkward. Olivia knew he’d be blushing if he could. He shrugged his shoulders and shook his head lightly, but he didn’t answer her question.

“I’m sorry,” Olivia said quickly, “I just…I felt your…well I felt…”

“Oh,” he nodded, “I see.”

“So,” Olivia smirked, “I guess I can feel your big emotions.”

“Alright, alright,” Vision said, crossing his arms, “I would appreciate it if you didn’t say anything. I don’t exactly…know how to proceed in this situation.”

“Viz, c’mon,” Olivia scoffed, “I won’t.”

“Thank you,” he nodded.

“But you know…now that I’m your friend maybe I could help,” Olivia grinned.

“We’ll discuss it,” Vision laughed.

Olivia nodded her head as she made her way to the refrigerator to pull out her frosting. She could feel Steve’s presence as he entered the room. He was normally fairly good at hiding his feelings from her, when he was tired it was easier for her to read him. The mission he’d just gotten back from must’ve been rough a one because she could read him loud and clear. He was uncomfortable, irritated, and desperate for Olivia to be receptive towards him.

She knew it was unfair of her, to on him so frequently. In the days following Wakanda, they had relied heavily on each other as they both navigated the events that the previous months had put them through. Then, Steve started going on missions again and Olivia was left to navigate alone. He had a distraction, meanwhile she had baking.

He smiled bleakly at her as she turned to face him. They stared at each other silently for a few brief moments until Vision quietly cleared his throat. Olivia jumped and they both turned their attention towards him.

“I was just leaving,” he said. “Thank you for the conversation Olivia.”

She nodded at him. Steve raised an eyebrow at her as Vision walked out of the room.

“Oh, we’re friends now,” Olivia said.

“Got it,” Steve replied.

“Rough mission?”

“I look that bad?”

“No,” she laughed, “your defenses are down, I can feel everything.”

“Oh,” Steve said with a nod.

“Can I help?” Olivia asked.

He sighed heavily and grimaced at her. He hated asking for help, and even though he hadn’t technically asked, she knew she’d have to push harder if she genuinely wanted to help him. She moved towards him slowly. He tensed slightly, watching her warily. She knew he was waiting for her to turn on him, which was fair.

“Liv,” he started.

“Let me help you,” she said placing her hand gently on his arm.

“You don’t have to do this,” he sighed.

“I know,” she nodded.

Her hand moved up to his cheek. He closed his eyes as he gave into her. Absorbing Steve’s emotions was different from absorbing Bucky’s. She had to work harder at it with Steve, she had to worker harder at everything with Steve. On the plus side, his emotions didn’t overwhelm her like Bucky’s did. It was as though Bucky was a part of her, like they were one. She could separate herself from Steve.

He leaned down and pressed his forehead to hers as she relieved him of his stress and exhaustion. She realized that she hadn’t actually been angry with him, she had just missed him. In many ways he made her healing easier. He lifted his head and smiled softly down at her.

“Thank you, Liv,” he said after a moment.

“You’re welcome,” she replied.

She suddenly became hyperaware of his hands resting lightly on her lower back. His eyes were searching hers; she knew what they were asking. This time the urge to kiss wasn’t his alone. She rested her other hand on his chest, and for a moment she tried to resist her impulse. But he was warm, and she was raw and in the moment he just felt right. She stood on her toes and her lips met his. She melted into him and he pressed his lips harder against hers. He pulled her closer into him, she didn’t think that was even possible.

“No,” he said pulling away from her, “we can’t, I’m sorry.”

Olivia breathed heavily dropping her head against his chest.

“Why the hell not?” she asked slowly.

“I need to get over you Liv,” he said, resting his cheek in the top of her forehead.

“Steve,” Olivia said pulling back from him, “I’m not in love with Barnes. I know you think I am, but I’m not.”

His mouth curved into a small smile and he let out an exasperated laugh.

“I never said you were.”

“No, but Sam did.”

“Well Sam is an idiot,” Steve laughed. “Liv, I don’t think you’re in love with Buck. I just know you’re not in love with me.”

“You don’t just get to decide that Steve!” Olivia protested.

“I’m not,” he said, weaving his fingers in her hair. “I’m safe, I’m comfortable. I make you feel warm and secure, and yes, you are undeniably attracted to me, but there’s something missing. It’s not all there for you.”

“You don’t know that Steve,” Olivia said.

“I do,” he nodded, “I do know that Olivia. You project a lot more than you realize.”

“I what?” she whispered in disbelief.

“Every time we touch, when you’re close, when we kiss, Liv…I can feel you,” he said sadly. “I can feel your hesitation.”

Olivia was shocked. She had no idea she’d been projecting on him like that, but his words rang true. It was as if he were speaking into existence the words that she couldn’t find. Her mind flashed back to their first kiss, that night she’d kissed him because she felt how badly he wanted it. This time she’d wanted it just as much because she wanted to feel anchored to him in some way.

“I’m sorry Steve,” she said softly.

“Hey,” he said tucking his finger beneath her chin, “it’s okay. I’ll be fine.”

“How are you always so good?” she asked, exasperation coloring her voice.

He laughed lightly but offered her no answer. Instead he watched her for a few moments longer, sad resignation on his eyes, then he kissed her forehead gently.

“Don’t forget the meeting Liv,” he smiled.

She leaned back against the counter, giving him a short nod. Her heart fell as he she watched him leave. What she wanted to do was to go after him, ask him to give it a shot, to give them a shot. He was right, there was something missing for her, but maybe they could figure it out, together. It wouldn’t work though; she knew it wouldn’t. They’d inevitably fall apart, because it didn’t matter how many times they kissed, and it didn’t matter how much they cared about each other, she wasn’t in love with him and she would never be. It wasn’t in the cards for them, he knew it, he always had. It was time for her to trust him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I appreciate all of you and your amazing comments! Enjoy :)


	17. Stay Out of My Way and I'll Stay Out of Yours

“Your form is off.”

She knew Sam had been standing behind her, watching her beat the hell of a poor, unsuspecting punching bag, but she didn’t think he’d actually talk to her. It was his turn to stay in and babysit, and he was a little less than thrilled about it. Olivia had been distant, with pretty much everyone. She’d completely thrown herself into training.

“Well I’m a little distracted,” she grunted, throwing a punch into the sandbag.

“Yeah,” Sam chuckled, “we’ve noticed.

She didn’t miss the “we”. He was of course, referring to the rest of the team, all of them. Olivia and Steve’s romantic involvement was less of a secret, more along the lines of an incredibly public piece of knowledge. So was their break from each other and all of the space that Olivia was giving Steve. While they did their best to remain professional, the mere fact that their entire “relationship” had been very public, proved difficult in navigating the grieving process. Olivia struggled with the pain she’d caused Steve and she missed his presence in her life.

That wasn’t her only distraction though, not by a long shot. Barnes, or the lack of him, was almost always a constant in her mind. First, she had to come to terms with the fact that their connection would probably be overridden in whatever the Wakandan Princess did to fix his brain. It shouldn’t have been difficult for her to come to terms with, but she’d become used to his presence, and the fear of losing it gripped her. Then, one morning, she woke up with the realization that she could feel him again. It was fleeting and much less intense. She knew that this time, for the most part he could control it. He’d reached out on purpose, ensuring her that he was okay.

Slowly it started to drive her mad, knowing that the connection was still there. If Shuri couldn’t remove it, what would? Furthermore, he didn’t need to reach out to her, she had after all assumed, she’d never hear from him again. With or without the connection. But there he was, flitting in and out, usually at his leisure, and she didn’t know why. She couldn’t talk to anyone about it, let alone the person she’d wanted to talk to most, Steve. It made her unfocused and irritable, bleeding into every facet of her life. Most noticeably, apparently in her training. It made sense now that one by one her teammates opted out of training with her.

“Great,” she sighed, “that really…uh…puts it all together for me.”

“I’m sorry,” he said with a shake of his head, “I know this has all been a little…difficult on you.”

She dropped her arms beside her, tossing her head back. Wiping the sweat from her forehead she turned to face him.

“You don’t have to do this Wilson,” she said. “It’s okay, I’m a big girl.”

“Well it is my turn to babysit, I don’t think I’ll get paid if I don’t interact with you at all,” he said with a grin.

If someone else had said it, Clint maybe, definitely Tony, she might have decked them in the face. But it was Sam, and after putting him through the wringer during their mission, she was prone to letting him get away with things.

“You’re such a dick,” she laughed shaking her head.

“I’ve heard that,” he shrugged. “What’s going on Harrington? I thought you didn’t have feelings for Steve.”

“I don’t,” she sighed, “that doesn’t make this any easier.”

“Kinda feels like it should.”

“Well, it doesn’t. I miss him, he’s all I’ve got.”

“Oh okay,” Sam nodded, “I’ll just go then.”

“You know what I mean,” Olivia groaned.

“No, I don’t,” he shook his head, “I’ll let you explain it though. I’m sure Clint, Nat, and Tony would love to hear this explanation too. Maybe Vision…I don’t know how that man feels about anything.”

Olivia grimaced as she listened to his words. She understood why he was upset; it had never been easy for her to make friends. Her empathy often made it difficult for her to make meaningful connections. It made her distant, and she’d learned to rely on people so much. Meeting Steve when she’d forgotten her powers even existed gave him a quick and easy in. It helped that they each had a unique connection to Barnes.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “Steve and I are just…close.”

“Yeah because you won’t let the rest of get close,” Sam retorted. “I guess it helps that you’re both obsessed with Barnes.”

“I’m not obsessed with him,” Olivia said angrily.

Sam raised his eyebrows at her.

“I’m not obsessed,” she grumbled, “It just isn’t easy having another person’s consciousness connected to yours at all times.”

“I can’t imagine it would be.”

“Our mutual hatred of each other doesn’t really help either.”

“For two people who ‘hate’ each other,” Sam said putting air quotes around the word hate, “you sure seem to spend a lot of time trying to find ways to be together.”

Olivia rolled her eyes at him and scoffed.

“That is a serious misinterpretation of what is actually going on Wilson,” she said. “Besides, you know better than anyone that he’ll do whatever he needs to, in order to keep away from me.”

“Right,” Sam nodded, “and yet somehow you ended up on a solo mission to bring him back because you were the only one who could reach him. Oh wait…I’m sorry…that’s not right, he was reaching out to you!”

“You’re so annoying,” Olivia said, turning back to the punching bag.

“Because I’m right,” he said. “Elbows up.”

“Okay well that all circles back to our fun little connection,” she said, punching her fist hard into the sandbag.

“Which is probably gone by now,” said Sam.

Olivia froze at his words. She knew that he was out of cryofreeze and on the mend, but she didn’t know that other were aware.

“I mean…if he’s…when…you know,” Sam spluttered. “What I meant, was that Shuri is probably going to take care of it.”

“You know.”

“Wait…you know?”

“That he’s awake? Out of cryofreeze? Wandering Wakanda…just fine I assume?”

“Well…I doubt he’s ‘just fine’,” Sam scoffed. “Hold on, how do you know?”

“Shuri didn’t take care of the connection,” she replied. “I would ask how you know, but I don’t need to hear it confirmed that Steve thought it was more important to keep you updated than me.”

“Now that is interesting,” Sam said. “I thought you didn’t care about him anyway?”

“I don’t,” said Olivia.

“So why would Steve need to keep you updated?”

“Can you just…stop with your questions?” she snapped.

“Fine, sure,” Sam said. He paused for a moment then, “Okay one more, you haven’t told Steve that the connection is still there have you?”

Olivia groaned, hitting her head against the punching bag.

“Of course I didn’t tell him.”

Sam nodded, but remained silent for a few moments. Olivia unwrapped her hands, waiting for Sam to continue his questioning.

“See?” Sam said finally.

“See what?” she asked.

“That wasn’t so hard, opening up,” he grinned.

“It was a little hard,” she grumbled.

“Well I for one feel closer,” Sam laughed.

“Enjoy now Wilson,” she smirked, “we’ll see how long it lasts.”

“Ah c’mon,” he said nudging her, “we’re best buds now.”

She rolled her eyes at him but couldn’t help herself from laughing. Her stomach growled and she realized she’d skipped lunch.

“You hungry?” she asked Sam.

“I could eat,” he nodded. He looked down at his watch, then back up at her, “Let’s get out of here, I’m sure you could use a change of scenery.”

“Alright, let me change,” she said, walking past him.

She felt off as she showered quickly and changed. Her body seemed to vibrate with anxiety, and she couldn’t place it. Anxiety was common for Olivia; it had always been a side affect of her empathy. Being constantly aware of everyone’s emotions made her, understandably, jittery.

After dressing, she descended the stairs slowly. Sam was waiting for her on the sofa in the sitting room. She paused as she reached the bottom of the stairs, and he glanced up at her. He raised a questioning eyebrow at her as she hesitated by the stairs. It was his anxiety that she was feeling. Her eyes narrowed at him.

“What’s going on Sam?” she asked slowly.

“Uh…nothing,” he said. “Are you ready?”

She clocked it as a lie immediately. As she focused in on his anxiety, she realized that he wasn’t the only one in the compound feeling jittery. Steve’s anxiety was like a dull throbbing, manifesting itself in the pit of her stomach, as though he was dreading something. Tony’s was an excited anxiousness; it moved like electricity throughout her. Then she felt him, for a brief moment. He’d felt her searching and let his guard down.

“Shit,” Olivia said abruptly.

“What?” Sam asked.

“Steve is back,” she said sharply. “And Tony…with…did you know about this?”

“Uh…that Steve was coming back?” he said awkwardly.

“Okay so you did.”

“Olivia, wait…”

She scoffed at him, then turned and stormed out of the room. Her heart raced as she made her way up to Steve’s office. Tony and Steve jumped as she slammed the door open, both looking up at her with wide eyes. Barnes however, turned slowly to glance at her, a small smirk across his face.

“Olive!” Tony said brightly. “It’s been so long.”

“What the fuck is he doing here?” she barked at Steve, ignoring Tony completely.

“Nice to see you too Tiny,” Bucky said sarcastically.

“Oh I’m sorry,” Olivia said turning on him, “was that not welcoming enough for you? You did almost kill me the last time our paths crossed. Not that you remember.”

“Olivia stop,” Steve said warningly.

“I do actually,” Bucky said, pushing himself out of his chair. He stood directly in front of her, gazing down at her sharply, “In excruciating detail, would you like me to relive it for you?” he growled.

In all the times she’d met him previously, he had felt erratic, scattered, anxious. Now, as he bore down at her, he was poised, precise. It reminded her of who he was as the Winter Soldier, the difference was that he was in complete control of himself. He’d blocked her from feeling him entirely, but the easiness that his newfound self-control brought radiated off of him, he couldn’t hide it. She almost felt happy for him, but his eyes bore so relentlessly into hers that she chose to forget the feeling. He was challenging her, and as much as she wanted to look away, she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of winning.

She distracted herself with his appearance. He looked different, less tired. The dark circles under his eyes were almost gone, and for the first time she noticed how bright they were. His skin had tanned lightly under the Wakandan sun and the pallor in his face was gone. Even his hair, which had been pulled half up, looked less dull. It would have been absolutely insane for her to think that he looked good. Still, the thought crossed her mind, ever so fleetingly, and they both blushed. The corner of his mouth turned up slightly, and she scrambled, searching for something to shift his attention.

“New arm?” she asked abruptly.

That did it. He backed down immediately and glanced at the shiny, new, black, and gold prosthetic. She let out a breath as his attention moved away from her. It took her all of half a second to realize she’d hit a nerve. Steve’s glaring eyes from behind Barnes did a little more than tip her off. It had never occurred to her that it was something he’d be insecure about, but as he eyes turned back to Barnes, that was exactly what she’d felt.

“It…uh…looks good,” she said biting her lip.

“Thanks,” he said dully.

“So why are you here?” she asked again.

“Olivia,” Steve groaned, his head dropping into his hand.

“What?” she asked. “It’s a valid question!”

“Well Olive, as you know,” said Tony, “we’re looking for more team members.”

Olivia glanced from Tony to Steve, then finally up to Barnes. They were all watching her with varying degrees of caution. No one said anything for a few long moments, but Olivia could feel the tension coming from ever corner of the room.

“You’re joking,” she scoffed.

“We’re not,” said Steve.

Her eyes met his. He looked weary, this was a fight he’d been waiting to have, and one he was definitely dreading. It didn’t matter that Barnes hated her, it didn’t matter that at this point, she hated him. There was nothing for her to say and she couldn’t push back on Steve. So, she turned to leave.

“Olivia wait,” came Steve’s exasperated voice.

“Wait for what?” she asked, turning on them fiercely. “What do you want from me? It’s not like I have a say in anything that goes on around here, but yeah, sure, I’m thrilled. Welcome to the team Barnes, maybe they’ll actually allow you to do something.”

“That’s not fair,” Steve said softly.

“Well we aren’t really in the business of being fair, are we Steve?” she shot back.

She didn’t wait for any of them stop her leaving, and this time no one tried. No one tried to stop her, but Bucky did decide to follow her. He followed her down the hallway for a moment, until he finally caught her wrist in his hand, pulling her to face him.

“You know normal people would use their words,” she said looking up at him.

“Normal people don’t scream at everyone and storm out of rooms before conversations are finished,” he said dryly.

“I was finished with it.”

“Yeah, I got that. Doesn’t mean the rest of us were.”

“Fine Barnes, finish it.”

He blinked down at her, apparently taken aback by her response. She smirked, her free hand flying to her hip.

“Or don’t I guess,” she said.

“Look, I didn’t choose this,” he said shaking his head. “I don’t want to be here as much as you don’t want me to be here, but I don’t exactly have any other options. Apparently I’m less of a threat under the watchful eye of Stark and Steve.”

“Right,” she nodded, “because of the whole, sleeper agent assassin thing.”

He dropped her wrist, glaring at her deadpan. She bit her lip, forcing herself not to release the smile that was threatening her the corners of her mouth.

“Just stay out of my way and I’ll stay out of yours, got it?” he said in a low, even voice.

“Works for me,” she shrugged.

* * *

She stared up at the ceiling of her bedroom. Her stomach still grumbled from her lack of lunch, but she refused to go downstairs. There was a soft knock on her door, and she glanced over at it, knowing that Steve was behind it. A small sigh escaped her lips. She wanted to tell him to go away, but she couldn’t forget his desperate eyes up in his office.

“Come in,” she said.

He pushed the door open and entered slowly. She couldn’t help but notice he was holding a plate, with what looked like a sandwich on it.

“I brought a peace offering,” he said, handing her the plate. “It’s a grilled cheese.”

She laughed lightly as she sat up, sitting with her legs crossed in front of her. He sat at the edge of her bed as she took the plate.

“No offense Steve,” she said, bringing the sandwich to her mouth, “but nothing you cook could be considered a peace offering. Luckily for you, I’m starving.”

“Yeah, I didn’t make it,” he said as she took a large bite.

“No shit,” she said through a full mouth, “this is incredible.”

He snickered, causing her to pause and put the sandwich down. There was a glint in his eye. She looked down at the grilled cheese, then back up at him.

“Who made this?” she asked.

“Bucky was always much better at cooking than I was,” he smirked.

Olivia picked up the plate and set it on her nightstand. Her stomach ached in protest, but she refused to take another bite.

“Oh, c’mon Liv,” Steve said, “Sam said you were probably hungry, and he made it immediately. It’s really his peace offering.”

“It’s just really good,” she squeaked, picking up the plate again.

“I’ll let him know you liked it,” Steve grinned.

“No you will not,” Olivia protested, “you’ll tell him I threw it in the trash after refusing to eat it.”

“He doesn’t want to be here you know,” Steve said.

Of course, she knew, he’d kindly told her so in the hallway. She was too preoccupied with eating to tell Steve that though.

“Secretary Ross gave us…and him an ultimatum,” Steve explained. “He works for Ross or for Tony. He chose Tony, and I don’t blame him.”

“Me either,” Olivia grumbled. “That doesn’t mean I’m excited to be working with him.”

“Well,” Steve laughed, “I don’t think he’s thrilled to be working with you either.”

“He should be, I’m a joy to work with,” Olivia said, rolling her eyes.

“Speaking of work,” Steve sighed, “we want you back out there.”

“We?”

“Okay Tony does. I still have my concerns.”

“I’m great, your concerns are absurd.”

“You’re unfocused, under trained, and you take direction from no one.”

“Alright I see your point.”

“Thank you,” he breathed.

She could feel the overwhelming relief from him. He had been waiting for her to acknowledge what he had always known. Exhausted from fighting her, protecting her, and trying to please her, he could finally relax knowing that she was aware of her faults.

“I’m sorry Steve,” she said gently. “I’m a little headstrong.”

“Don’t be sorry for that,” he said shaking his head. “At almost every turn, Bucky wouldn’t be here if you weren’t headstrong.”

“Well shit,” she sighed.

“Liv,” Steve said, laughing softly, “you two can keep your distance. I think we’ll all understand. But…”

“But what?”

“Well, like I said. Tony wants you back out there, so we’re going to need you to focus more on your training. Bucky is obviously going to be at training sessions too. He's not used to working with a team. All we need is for you two to play nice during those, can you handle that?” he asked.

“Can he?”

Steve sighed heavily, nodding his head slightly.

“I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I just want to say how appreciative I am of everyone who is still reading this story! I'm having so much fun writing it and I'm so excited for the things I have in store. It's going to be fun :) Thank you for the amazing comments, they literally brighten my day when I get them! Enjoy this chapter!


	18. That Was Really Embarrassing for You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Alright so this is kind of a long one, I know. I had a lot of fun writing it and it's a nice lead in to what's about to come. I hope you all enjoy reading it! 
> 
> I just want to add that I appreciate everyone who is taking the time to read this fic. I'm very proud of it and very excited for the plot that I have laid out. Comments, questions, thoughts, and ideas, are always appreciated! Love you all! Hope everyone is staying safe out there! <3

Tony was good at many things, but he was exceptionally good at throwing amazing parties. In reality, he was exceptionally good at paying expensive party planners to put his amazing parties together. He was only mildly okay at convincing Pepper to be the one to actually hire said party planners and oversee and execute pretty much everything for said amazing parties. That being said, Tony was excellent at timing, and the timing of his parties never failed; except for a few times when it really, really did.

Despite the team moving and living on the compound upstate, Tony (Pepper), had worked hard on renovating the Avengers Tower. He wanted to show it off. He also knew how hard his team had been working in their training and that they probably deserved a night off.

* * *

Hour One

Olivia for one, appreciated the distraction of Tony’s boisterous, over the top party. There were far too many people in the room, which made it easier to ignore the emotions of all of them. Instead it was like a low frequency humming in her brain, but even then, that could be blocked out by the music. The alcohol helped too. She sipped her drink from the bar, quietly observing the room. Initially she’d planned on skipping the party. When she’d brought it up to Tony however, he casually mentioned that Barnes had considered skipping as well. Tony assured her that if she wanted to stay at the compound alone with Barnes, that he and the rest of the team would understand. There was a wink or two thrown around in the conversation also, so Olivia grit her teeth and went out to find a dress.

“Nice dress.”

Olivia turned at Natasha’s voice. She was smirking at her from behind the bar, pouring herself a drink. It baffled Olivia how quiet she could be.

“Yeah, well,” Olivia shrugged, “I had help picking it out.”

“I am a genius,” Natasha said nodding her head. “You’re turning a lot of heads in that dress. You certainly wouldn’t have any trouble finding someone to take you home.”

“Ooh yeah, so not interested in that,” Olivia hissed. “After everything with Steve…I don’t know, I should probably stay single until I die.”

Natasha laughed as Olivia finished off her drink. She slid the martini glass across the bar to Natasha and raised an eyebrow at her. Natasha grinned as she took the empty glass. Olivia did have to admit that Nat was genius when it came to dressing up. Normally she would have chosen softer color, blue, maybe lavender. Natasha had found her a deep red, off the shoulder cocktail dress, that hugged her curves up top and loosely flared out at the bottom. She’d let Olivia borrow a pair of black pumps that for once in her life, made her feel tall.

“Here,” Natasha said handing her a full martini. “Take it easy on those. I love you, but I’d really hate having to hold your hair back.”

“You got it,” Olivia smirked.

Nat came out from behind that bar and took a seat next to Olivia, just as Clint and Sam were making their way over.

“Stark sure outdid himself this time,” Sam said scanning the room.

“Well he had to after last time,” Clint pointed out.

“Yeah, that’s what happens when you create a murder bot hellbent on destroying all human life,” Natasha said. The other three glanced over at her questioningly. “You make up for it with rockin parties,” she added raising her glass.

“Hey whatever works,” Sam laughed. “I’m just here for the free food and drinks.”

“Speaking of food,” Olivia said, sliding off her bar stool, “I’m starving.”

“Okay Harrington, we see you in that dress,” Sam said, getting a full glimpse of her outfit for the first time.

“Nice work Tasha,” Clint added. “You know, there are a ton of eligible young men here tonight. See anything that catches your eye?”

“I hate all of you,” said Olivia through a forced smile.

“Funny,” Natasha smirked, “we were just discussing that.”

“Yes, we were,” Olivia nodded, “and if I remember correctly, I think I said that my current plan is to be single for the rest of my life.”

“Oh c’mon, one bad experience and you’re tapped out?” Sam scoffed.

Olivia let out a sharp laugh and turned on him. His eyes went wide as she stared at him, glaringly, with her hands on her hips.

“First of all, Steve was hardly my first romantic experience!” she said, “And second, before you ask, yeah they all ended poorly.”

“Okay fine,” Sam said, “but it can’t be that bad.”

“Let’s see,” Olivia said, “my last boyfriend, of two years, broke up with me over the phone for a girl he’d been cheating on me with for over a month. Oh, and the one before that, didn’t actually like girls. So actually, Steve might have been best case scenario.”

“Damn,” Natasha sighed.

Clint stared at her open mouthed, while Sam tried his best not to laugh. When he finally broke into a fit of laughter, Olivia scowled at him, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Alright, alright,” Sam said raising his hands up apologetically, “you’re right…you should give up dating.”

“Sam!” Natasha scolded. She reached over and punched him lightly in the arm.

“I’m joking!” Sam protested. “Harrington you know I’m joking.”

“Yeah,” she nodded. I’m not joking though.”

“You don’t need to date to have a little fun,” Natasha said nonchalantly. She took a sip of her drink and winked at Olivia.

Olivia paused and considered her for a moment. Natasha wasn’t wrong.

“True,” she said slowly.

“So,” Sam said hopping off his stool, he grabbed Olivia by the shoulders and turned her to face the party, “see anything you like?”

Olivia sighed heavily but scanned the crowd anyway. The sooner she got through all of this, the sooner she could head off to the food table and grab something to eat.

“I don’t know,” she said, “mysterious, broody guy over there talking to Vision I guess.”

Sam spun her back around, his eyes wide. Clint and Natasha too had indiscernible expressions across their faces. Natasha stood, very slowly, and pressed the back of her hand to Olivia’s forehead.

“She doesn’t have a fever,” Natasha said to Sam, “so I don’t know.”

“How many drinks have you had?” Clint asked.

“One…what the fuck guys?” Olivia asked, eyeing them nervously. “I know his back is turned…I just didn’t really see anyone else that caught my eye.”

“Olivia,” Sam said, “that’s Barnes.”

She knew they were messing with her. She knew because Tony had explicitly said that Barnes wasn’t coming. But Tony had been known to lie on occasion. She would have felt Barnes’ presence though. Surely, she would have felt his presence. Except that they’d been exclusively using their connection during trainings out of mutual respect. Slowly, she turned, just to catch a quick glance. He turned his head to address Wanda, and Olivia’s heart skipped as she saw his face.

“Okay well I didn’t see his face!” Olivia snapped.

“And you were going off what exactly? His back? His hair?” Sam asked.

“You said mysterious and broody,” Clint said, narrowing his eyes at her.

“It was just the general…vibe okay!? It’s not a big deal!”

“Well it seems like a big deal, cuz your voice is getting all high pitched and shrieky,” said Clint, fidgeting with his hearing aide.

“Yeah, maybe dial that down,” Sam said, looking past her, “because he’s coming over here.”

“What? Why?” Olivia whispered sharply.

“Probably because of all your shrieking,” Clint mumbled.

“Okay well I’m going to get food,” Olivia said quickly.

“Livvy wait,” Clint interjected.

“Uh, no,” Olivia replied.

She turned and slammed directly into Barnes. He grunted at the impact. Olivia began to stumble backwards, but he caught her wrist. She looked up at him. His jaw was set, and he was peering down at her, clearly not amused.

“Tony said you weren’t coming,” Olivia blurted out.

“Uh…I don’t usually make it a habit of telling Stark my plans,” he replied.

“Right, okay, well…I’m going to grab a bite to eat,” she said, pushing past him.

“Wait,” said Barnes.

She sighed and turned back around to face him. Natasha, Clint, and Sam were watching them intently. Olivia glared at them, and they immediately dispersed.

“What?” she asked Barnes.

A smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. There was a playful glint in his eyes. She had no idea what he was getting at, but she didn’t love the look.

“Why were asking Stark if I was coming?”

“I didn’t,” she replied. “When I told him that I wasn’t coming he said I’d be stuck at the compound with you since you’d decided not to come either.”

“Yeah that was a lie,” Barnes nodded.

“No shit,” she laughed.

She paused for a moment, taking him in. He cleaned up nicely, she’d be fooling herself if she pretended not to see it. He was wearing a black button up; his sleeves were rolled just beneath the elbow. It helped that he was still smiling lightly at her. His eyes brightened in a way she’d never seen when he smiled, and she found herself quite partial to it.

“What?” he asked after a moment.

“Nothing,” she said feeling her cheeks flush.

“Oh,” he grinned.

Olivia’s eyes shot up to his glaringly. She really couldn’t hide much from him. This time though, she was sure it wasn’t the connection that had given her away. More than likely it had been her ogling. Or, he’d heard the conversation she’d had with the others, with his super hearing.

“Don’t flatter yourself Barnes, I’m sure I am not the only one whose noticed,” Olivia scoffed. She reached back for her drink and sipped it as she scanned the room. “In fact, there’s a trio of women right over there eyeing us with jealous energy,” she said indicating towards them. “Oh there’s a few over there too…and there…and that gentleman in the corner of the room.”

“Okay, I got it,” he said sharply.

“Just trying to be helpful.”

“Thanks,” he said, pressing his lips together.

“I’m going to go get food now,” she said, “unless of course you have anything else to say.”

He shook his head softly and turned away from her towards the bar. Her shoulders relaxed with his eyes finally off of her.

“You look good too,” he said, turning abruptly back towards her.

“Wh-what?”

“Just…um…. you look good too…I mean you like nice...whatever.”

Olivia stared up at him dumbstruck. She had absolutely no words. Apparently, he didn’t either, his eyes shifted away from her to anywhere else. He looked trapped, uncomfortable, and a snort escaped Olivia’s mouth. She couldn’t help it.

“Oh man that was really embarrassing for you,” she giggled.

“Yeah,” he nodded, “enjoy the party.”

He brushed past her as she continued to laugh.

* * *

Hour Three and a Half

“Liv, I don’t know who taught you to play pool, but you are atrocious,” laughed Rhodey.

He wasn’t wrong. They’d been playing for at least twenty minutes and she hadn’t hit a single ball into any of the pockets. Sam was furious, he hated losing, and Olivia had tricked him into playing on her team.

“Okay, well Tony isn’t that good either,” Olivia mumbled, watching the cue ball completely pass every single ball she’d intended to hit.

“At least I’ve hit one in,” Tony chirped.

“I’m in next,” Clint said, watching intently.

“Yeah absolutely no one here wants to take that challenge,” Rhodey said, bending over the table and lining up his shot.

He struck the white ball, hard. He and Tony high-fived as two of their stripes made it into one pocket, simultaneously knocking a solid further away from a pocket. Sam groaned and hit his hand against his head.

“Our friendship,” he said to Olivia, “it’s over. I’m done with you.”

“It’s just a game Sam,” Olivia laughed.

Sam glared at her, shaking his head slowly. Then he bent over the table and made his shot. He landed one of their solids in smoothly. Olivia threw up her hand for a high five. He glared at her as he walked past.

“Carrying this damn team,” he muttered. “I am the team.”

Olivia pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes at him. She was definitely going to be paying for this one in the coming weeks. Tony took his turn, she waited patiently. She briefly thought of handing her cue stick off to Clint. Sam would be pleased to win, and she’d be able to sit down, her heels were killing her. She knew she’d never hear the end of it from Rhodey and Tony if she quit though. So, after Tony made his move, she grabbed her stick and leaned over the table.

“You’re never going to hit anything like that.”

Olivia jumped at the sound of his voice. She turned quickly to see Barnes, leaning causally against the wall, watching her intently.

“Jesus Barnes,” she said, “when did you get here?”

“Just now,” he said, pushing off against the wall. “Here let me help.”

Tony and Rhodey watched, agape, as Bucky went to Olivia and gently turned her back around to face the table. Sam glanced at Clint, who gave him a wink, then turned his attention towards the pool table.

“What are you doing Barnes?” Olivia asked under her breath.

“Exactly what I said, helping. You’re going to hit that orange ball into the corner pocket.”

He moved in closer and angled her against the table. Gently, he pressed against her shoulders, which she had unconsciously tensed. She avoided eye contact with the others, knowing her face was flushed, but she could still feel their stares.

“Stop locking your knees,” he said.

As he spoke, he reached down and gently tapped behind each of her knees. They buckled easily under his touch and she clenched her jaw tightly. Then he handed her the cue stick. She glanced back at him briefly to give him a death glare. 

“Focus,” he said, nodding forward.

She sighed and held the stick in her hands. His entire body pressed lightly against hers as he moved in to position her grip. He leaned forward, bracing himself against the table with his vibration arm. Olivia went forward with him. Then, placing his right hand on hers, he slid it back slowly against the stick. His hand was warm and his breath on her neck was making it increasingly difficult for her to focus.

“Like this,” he said in her ear.

He pushed gently on her elbow, bringing it down closer to her waist. His body rested on hers as he crossed his left hand over to bring hers closer to the bottom of the stick.

“Alright, now pull back with this one,” he said, tapping her right her arm gently. “Focus on your shot, and when you’re ready, release.”

She breathed in, her eye on the orange ball. He didn’t move from behind her, but his presence was staring to unnerve her less and less. She took her shot and the cue ball knocked the orange one right into the pocket.

“I did it!” she said excitedly.

Without thinking she jumped up and spun around, throwing her arms around Bucky’s neck. He froze beneath her embrace. She gasped and released him backing up into the table.

“I’m…uh sorry…okay, um thanks,” she stammered.

He moved closer to her again, placing his hand on her waist. She shrank against the table as he leaned in close to her, his face inches from hers. His cheek barely brushed against hers as a brought his lips to her ear.

“That was really embarrassing for you.”

Without another word he stood and walked away. Olivia stared off after him. Her hand moved absentmindedly over her abdomen as she tried to steady her breathing.

“What the hell was that?” asked Rhodey.

Olivia jumped; she had completely forgotten that they hadn’t been alone. She slowly turned to face them. Sure enough they were all watching her, shock and awe across their faces.

“I hated it,” Tony said crossing his arms across his chest.

“Livvy didn’t seem to hate it,” Clint said.

“It was definitely something,” Sam said nodding his head. “Clint’s right, but it looked like you were _both_ having a good time.”

“I need a drink,” Olivia sighed.

She handed off her cue stick to Clint and walked away. Sam cheered behind her as Tony and Rhodey began their protesting.

* * *

Hour Five

Olivia was five hours into the party and five hours over it. Fortunately, she hadn’t run into Barnes since the pool incident, and Rhodey had finally distracted Tony enough to leave her alone about it. Natasha made her way over to her, a drink in each hand. She plopped herself on the sofa next to Olivia, sipping from a glass.

“Oh, thank you,” Olivia said reaching for the other drink.

“You sweet thing,” Natasha said pulling her hand away from Olivia, “these are both for me.”

“Of course,” Olivia laughed.

“Here,” came Wanda’s voice from behind her, “You looked like you might need a drink.”

“A saint,” Olivia said gratefully.

The truth was that she probably didn’t need another drink. Her head was buzzing from the alcohol, but the room wasn’t spinning yet, so she didn’t see any harm in drinking it. Wanda sat on the other side of her, sipping her own drink.

“This party has been…” Olivia started, trailing off.

“Your worst nightmare?” Natasha asked, smirking into her drink.

“Uh…yeah pretty much,” Olivia laughed.

“I don’t know,” said Wanda, “I’ve had a pretty decent time.”

“Yeah,” Natasha nodded, “because you’ve been with Vision all night.”

“Living with a trained spy is actually the worst,” Wanda said, shaking her head.

“Hey now, you’re a literal mind-reader. And this one over here can control out emotions,” Natasha said dryly, “oh and let’s not forget the highly skilled assassin or the offspring of Tony Stark and a murder robot. And then there’s Tony himself! I don’t know…seems like spy is the least of your worries.”

“Alright,” Wanda nodded, “you have a point.”

“Funny how the offspring of Tony Stark and the muderbot is actually the mildest of them all,” Olivia mused.

A smile formed across Wanda’s lips. Olivia was happy for her. If anyone needed to catch a break it was Wanda.

“Well, I’m happy for you Wanda. You two make a ridiculously cute, albeit very weird, couple,” Natasha said. She finished off her second drink and stood swiftly, “I’m out of drinks and I need another.”

Olivia watched in awe as she gracefully made her way over to the bar. She didn’t stumble or sway once. No one watching would believe that she was drunk. Olivia was starting to doubt it herself.

“That woman sure can hold her liquor,” Wanda said lightly.

“Yeah,” Olivia agreed.

“I think Viz and I are going to head back,” Wanda said, “you’re more than welcome to share a car with us.”

As badly as Olivia wanted to go home, she didn’t think it was worth it to share a car with the new couple.

“Thanks Wanda,” she smiled, “I’m…uh, I told Sam I’d ride home with him.”

“Of course,” Wanda said. She gave Olivia’s knee a gentle squeeze, “Have a good night Liv.”

Olivia sat for a few moments after Wanda had left. She had honestly told Sam she’d share a car with him, that wasn’t untrue, but she knew he would have been fine if she’d left without him. He was still trying to beat Clint at pool, long after Tony and Rhodey had tapped out. The party had died down quite a bit, but she didn’t think Sam was ready to go.

She stood and made her way out onto the balcony. There were a few party goers staggered about, but for the most part, it was quiet. She sat down on one of the cushioned benches and slid her shoes off, then pulled her legs up sitting with them pretzeled in front of her.

The cold air was refreshing, and the alcohol made it easier to bare. It was a much-needed reprieve, being outside away from the party. The giant glass windows made it easy for her to watch without having to actively participate.

Her eyes scanned the room, landing on Steve. She couldn’t help it; it was the first time she’d seen him since he’d greeted her. A brief ‘hello’ and then he’d disappeared into the party. She understood it, that didn’t make it easier. Now, he was standing at one of the tall tables, laughing with Sharon. She was jealous as she watched them, of course she was jealous. Though, she knew she had no right to be. He was doing what he needed to move on, and she knew she needed to let him.

“Are you in love with him?”

“Fuck Barnes, you’re just everywhere tonight?” Olivia said, her hand clutching her chest.

“Apparently just wherever you are,” he muttered, moving into her line of sight.

"What?"

"Nothing."

“How long have you been back there?”

“A while,” he shrugged, “long enough to watch you stumble out here and desperately watch Steve for a few moments.”

“I didn’t stumble.”

“You did.”

"I'm not desperate."

"Well, you were."

“Whatever, you’re the one lingering creepily in the shadows,” she grumbled.

“I wasn’t lingering,” he said sitting next to her.

“Okay that was definitely lingering.”

He let out a long, exasperated breath, running his hand through his hair.

“I wasn’t lingering,” he said, “I was hiding out. I’m not…great with extended socialization.”

“Or any socialization,” Olivia said.

“You are very annoying.”

“I’m sorry. I’m drunk…I didn’t mean that.”

“It’s fine,” he said with a shake of his head. “So, are you in love with my best friend or were you just staring longingly at him for fun?”

Olivia scowled at him. She hadn’t told anyone other than Tony the full details of what had happened with Steve, although Clint had gotten quite a few of them out of her. Barnes was about the last person that she would divulge any of it too.

“I’m not in love with him Barnes,” she scoffed.

“Got it, staring at him longingly for fun then,” he nodded.

“It’s complicated Barnes.”

“Alright Tiny, I won’t push it.”

“I don’t love him, which is exactly the problem. I mean I should love him because he’s basically perfect, but I am a stupid idiot who really should just be single forever…and in conclusion no, I do not love him.”

The words poured out of her, there was absolutely nothing she could do to stop them. The last person she wanted to be telling any of this to was Barnes. But when she looked up at him, he was watching her with a small smile.

"What?" she asked.

“It's just...Steve is not perfect,” he laughed. “He’s controlling and demanding and stubborn with the fun mix of being incredibly impatient. He’s incapable of letting anyone help him and he zero regard for his own life, which doesn’t make any sense. He refuses to listen to anyone, least of all the people who love him the most. You wouldn't believe how many times I had to pick his punkass of the streets of New York after being beaten up. I would lay down my life for that man, but he is far from perfect. You’re probably right about you being dumb though.”

Olivia nodded up at him in disbelief. It was mind boggling that the one person who’d been able to help her feel better about the Steve situation was Barnes. She also couldn’t believe that she agreed with him. She’d put Steve up on a pedestal, but Bucky was right, he was all of those things. It took hearing it for her to realize that ultimately his flaws were simply not compatible with hers. She didn’t have the temperament to handle him peacefully, and he would never be able to control her recklessness. They’d run each other into the ground trying to please each other.

“Thanks Barnes,” she said softly.

“Yep,” he nodded.

“I’ll be right back; I need to throw up in a bush.”

She stood suddenly and made her way over to a planter in the corner of the balcony. Barnes followed silently, and when she bent over to relieve the contents of her stomach, he pulled her hair back, holding it in his hand.

“You didn’t have to do that,” she said, standing upright when she’d finished.

“How many drinks did you have?”

“I lost count.”

“Well…seeing as your body can realistically only handle about two, it doesn’t surprise me that you’re throwing up,” he said, “C’mon Tiny, let’s get you home.”

“I told Sam…” she started.

“Yeah well he left with Clint about ten minutes ago,” Bucky said.

“Traitor,” Olivia hissed.

“C’mon Olivia,” he said, “no one needs to know that I did something nice for you and that you accepted it.”

She looked up at him, trying to keep her eyes on his. The world was spinning now, and she was dangerously close to throwing up again. So, she nodded and allowed him to take her home.

* * *

The Morning After

Her body ached as she slowly peeled open her eyes. The room was still spinning lightly as she focused in on the ceiling. Her bathroom, she was in her bathroom on the floor. But her head was propped up on something. Bucky’s legs, her head was resting on Bucky’s legs. She looked up at him; he was asleep, his back against the wall, his head leaned over settled against the cabinets.

Her head pounded as she tried to recall how she ended up there. She remembered passing out in the car, he must have carried her up. He had given her meds and water, and then she thought that he had left.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, his eyes still closed.

“Not great,” she mumbled, “tell me I wasn’t throwing up all night.”

“You weren’t throwing up all night.”

“Is that a lie?”

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry,” she groaned, “you really didn’t have to stay.”

“Well I really didn’t think it would be a good look for me if I’d left and you’d died of alcohol poisoning,” he said.

“That’s fair.”

She sat up lazily, her hand pressed to her head. Her dress clung to her uncomfortably. It may have been a winner at the party, but it was not sleep material.

“Oh good,” came Tony’s voice, “you did make it home safe. Don’t worry, no one panicked thinking that you were kidnapped.”

Olivia’s head snapped up and she groaned as the pain flooded her brain. Tony was standing in the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Don’t listen to him,” Bucky mumbled, “I texted Steve, Sam, and Natasha to tell them that you made it home safe.”

“So much for nobody needs to know,” she said to Bucky.

“Yeah that was a lie,” he nodded.

“Okay fine,” Tony said, “no one thought you were kidnapped. But…uh…what’s going on here?”

“She was drunk, her ride was gone, and she was vomiting in your bushes,” Bucky said groggily, “I helped her home.”

“That was you throwing up in my planter?!” Tony asked Olivia incredulously.

“Can we not talk about throw up?” Olivia asked, clutching her stomach.

“Sure,” Tony nodded, “Barnes, we have a mission for you.”

Bucky’s eyes cracked open finally. He lifted his head to look at Stark.

“Like…right now?” he asked.

“Well, we were hoping you could leave today,” came Steve’s voice from Olivia’s bedroom doorway.

She peeked her head out of the bathroom door and groaned. Steve had his back against one side of the frame, he smiled and waved at Olivia. She leaned back, her hands pressed the cold linoleum.

“You guys know this is an invasion of privacy, right?” she snapped.

“Your door was wide open Olive,” Tony said, “Barnes are you asleep again?”

Bucky’s eyes had closed again, but he shook his head at Tony’s question.

“Briefing room, twenty minutes Buck,” Steve called from the doorway.

“You're sending him alone? You can't send him alone,” Olivia scoffed.

“Who said he was going alone?” Tony asked.

Bucky squinted up at him, displeased. Tony looked down at them, his face full of amusement.

“I work better alone,” Bucky grunted.

“No Buck, actually you don’t,” said Steve.

“Olive, we’ll need you in the briefing room in twenty minutes also,” Tony said cheerily.

Her head spun to look at Barnes. His gaze was already on her. She let out an uncomfortable laugh, not even the churning in her stomach could distract her from this.

“Absolutely not,” she said firmly, looking back at Tony.

“You two are a dream team,” Tony shrugged, “you’re like one in trainings. You’re almost as good as Nat and Clint.”

“Then send them,” Bucky shot.

“They’re too high profile,” said Steve.

“And the Winter Soldier isn’t?” Olivia asked sharply.

She didn’t miss Bucky flinching lightly at her words. A silent wave of apology was all she could muster in the moment. Her right hand was next to Bucky’s leg and behind her back keeping her propped up; it was completely out of Steve and Tony’s line of sight. Bucky tapped it lightly with his forefinger, a sign that she was forgiven.

“Barnes isn’t going undercover, you are. He’s security and also…you know, to make sure you don’t do anything stupid,” Tony said.

“What about Wanda?” asked Bucky.

“Alternatively, I could take Sam,” Olivia said, challenging Bucky.

“It’s my mission,” he shot back.

“Wanda has less practice at going undercover, so it kind of seems like I’m not the replaceable one here,” said Olivia.

Tony glanced over anxiously to Steve. He shrugged his shoulders and gestured for Tony to continue with his banal attempts at convincing the two. Tony huffed and turned back to Olivia and Bucky, now fully engaged in a deadly stare down.

“Okay, you two are missing the point,” Tony interjected, “the way you two work together…it’s…well I’ve never seen anything like it. Besides, you two are friends now, so it should be a cakewalk.”

“No,” Barnes laughed, “we are not friends.”

Olivia tried not to let his words hurt her; she tried harder to hide that they did from him. They weren’t friends, he’d done something nice for her and that was all. In the light of day, with the alcohol out of her system, she could see it clearly.

“Funny…last night you two seemed like friends,” Tony said raising a skeptical eyebrow.

“Last night I got drunk, threw up in your bushes, and since everyone else was otherwise occupied, Barnes made sure I got home safe. Believe me, I wish it had been anyone else,” Olivia said angrily.

Steve dropped his head into his hand, then looked over at Bucky. Tony’s eyes too were on Barnes. Olivia kept hers firmly on Tony, but she felt Bucky move behind her. He stood silently and stepped over her to get out of her bathroom. Steve stood up fully when he reached the door, blocking him from leaving.

“Buck,” he started.

“Steve,” Bucky said slowly, “get out of my way.”

“Alright hold on,” Tony snapped, “you two don’t make the calls, Steve does, and occasionally I do. Right now, we need this job done and you two are the best candidates to do it. It’s not a debate. You’re going to suck up your differences and make it happen.”

“Fine,” Olivia said, “can everyone get the fuck out of my room so I can get ready?”

“Barnes?” Tony said turning towards him.

“I’ll be in the briefing room in twenty,” he grunted.

He pushed past Steve, throwing his shoulder into his as he passed. Olivia slammed her bathroom door in Tony’s face. Tony turned slowly to Steve.

“Don’t say anything Rogers,” Tony warned.

“I told you not to push them,” Steve said, shrugging lightly.

“You suggested them in the first place!”

“Yes,” Steve nodded, “to work a mission, not to be the new poster kids for how well the Avengers get along. They’re a great team Tony, but if we push too hard, we risk them pushing each other away.”

“So, what do we do, send her with Sam? Or Wanda?” Tony asked.

“No, Liv is right, she has more experience going undercover, it has to be her.” Steve said, with a shake of his head. “And it has to be Bucky. You’ve seen them in training. He grounds her, keeps her focused. And he’s so bad at communicating with the team, but with Olivia it’s like…he doesn’t even have to try.”

“I know,” Tony said. “And he’s always on her. I’ve seen him protect her from threats that most of the team hasn’t even registered yet.”

“Yeah,” Steve sighed, “they’ll be fine.”


	19. The Overlook Motel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a short bit of fluff before their mission! I hope you all enjoy it :) Thank you all for continuing to read! I'm having a blast writing this and I appreciate all of the comments!

They had driven through the night, six and a half hours into rural Virginia. Bucky nudged Olivia awake as he pulled into the parking lot of a remote motel. Tony had warned them that it wasn’t anything fancy, but they needed to lay low.

“We’re here,” Bucky told Olivia.

“You were supposed to wake me half-way so we could switch,” she mumbled, rubbing her eyes. 

“Yeah well, you were very asleep, and I don’t mind driving.”

“Hasn’t your driver’s license been expired for like a hundred years?”

“Something like that,” he said, shifting the car into park, “and yet something tells me I’m still a better driver than you.”

“You’ve had significantly more practice,” Olivia smirked.

“Alright, can we finish this later?” Bucky asked, “I’m exhausted, my driving partner fell asleep and left all the work to me.”

Olivia scowled at him as she got out of the car. She looked up at the motel and froze, her mouth dropping open. The neon motel sign flickered despondently against the pallid, chipped paint of the building. They were absolutely in the middle of nowhere. She paused only slightly at the overwhelming number of stars and the rich indigo color of the night sky. Then she remembered where she was and who she was with.

“The Overlook Motel,” she said with a sharp laugh, “Tony sure does have a cruel sense of humor.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow at her from the other side of the car.

“Oh my god you’re so old.” she sighed, “The Overlook _Hotel_ is the name of a literal haunted hotel in one of the scariest movies of all time.”

“Okay, Tiny, I don’t care,” Bucky said curtly. “Go get the rooms.”

“Me? Why me?”

“Well, the Winter Solider isn’t very ‘low profile’,” he said, “wouldn’t want anyone recognizing me.”

“In the middle of nowhere? Really Barnes?” Olivia shot.

“Hey, you’re the one who said it,” he shrugged, hopping up on the hood of the car. “We wouldn’t want to take any chances, now would we?”

She couldn’t argue with him there. They were after all her words. He leaned back against the windshield, resting his hands behind his head.

“Alright well if I’m not back out in ten, you’ll know I’ve been murdered or something,” she said as she dug around for her wallet.

“Yep,” he said with a wave of his hand.

Moments later Olivia came storming out of the front office. Bucky bolted upright as Olivia clicked open the trunk, grabbed her bag, and slammed it closed forcefully. He bit back a laugh; a recent and uncontrollable response he had to her little tantrums.

“You alright there Tiny?” he asked.

“Peachy.”

This time he couldn’t hold it back. Her head shot up at him, as he snorted. He slid off the front of the car and opened the backseat, grabbing his small duffle bag.

“Is something funny?” she asked.

“Just you, having a fit, in a motel parking lot in the middle of nowhere,” he replied.

She chucked a room key at him, attached to a red keychain. With one hand on her hip she stood, staring at him.

“Room 204,” he said, glancing at the keychain. “What room are you in?”

“204.”

“No, I’m in 204.” He jangled the keychain to make his point.

She nodded at him furiously, then turned to head up the stairs that would lead them to the second floor. He followed her right up to the door of room 204.

“What are you doing?” he asked slowly.

“I’m waiting for you to unlock the door to our motel room,” she said, turning to give him a deadpan look.

“Run that by me again.”

“Do you see another set of keys in my hands?”

Her empty hands flew up in front of his face. He caught one of her wrists in his hand and pulled it down, out from in front of him. His mouth twitched and licked his lip, catching his bottom lip between his teeth as he tilted his head back, realizing what she was saying. Wordlessly, he shoved the key into the keyhole and turned, then pushed the door open.

“After you,” declared, gesturing for her to go in first.

She glared up at him as she entered the room. He followed her, switching on the lights, and shutting the door swiftly behind them. The room was small and unbearably tan. There was one queen sized bed, a small bathroom, and surprisingly a desk with a chair. A large, fake plant was set up as the only decoration in the corner of the room.

Olivia dropped her bag and turned to him. The anger had vanished from her face, it was replaced with wide eyes and pale cheeks. He moved closer to her and slowly let down the invisible shield he had up that kept her from feeling him and him from feeling her. Hers came down too, an acknowledgement that she couldn’t verbalize her feelings. On the surface was a feeling of anxiety, she was uneasy. He pushed further and her fear washed over him.

The mission was all but riding on her shoulders, Steve and Tony had been very clear about that. She would be the one undercover, walking into the fancy party of a wealthy bank owner. He was also a known HYDRA arms dealer and it was Olivia’s job to gather intel on his next big deal. All Bucky had to do was hide out, primed and ready to jump in if she got into any trouble. They had time before the party; a few days for her to create a cover and for him to case the property for potential problems. She’d put on a brave face in front of Tony and Steve, even Bucky had bought it up until now, but of course she was terrified.

“They wouldn’t have chosen you if they didn’t think that you were fully capable,” Bucky said to her.

“Right,” she faltered, “and it had nothing to do with the fact that I was their only choice.”

“You weren’t their only choice.”

“Bucky I was.”

He didn’t know how to tell her that she was wrong. He didn’t know how to comfort her. The old Bucky could have found the right words to say, the right ways to touch her and calm her fears. This Bucky couldn’t. This Bucky could hardly string enough words together to say anything positive to her. He could use their connection to artificially relieve her of her anxiety, but she would know that it wasn’t real. That wasn’t what she needed. He pressed his lips together, wishing he had more to give.

“Take the bed,” he said, nodding towards the bed.

“Where are you going to sleep?” she asked.

“Bathtub.”

“I’m sorry what?”

“I’ll sleep in the bathtub, it’s fine.”

“You’re so weird.”

“Well now Olivia, would you like to share the bed?”

“I-uh….no.”

“I didn’t think so. Now, let’s go, I need sleep and so do you.”

“I slept for six hours in the car,” she muttered.

“Six and a half.”

“Whatever.”

He stood and watched her dig through her bag for pajamas. A heavy breath escaped his lips as she disappeared behind the bathroom door, his head dropped backwards. Steve and Tony were fools for sending them together. Olivia would be fine, Bucky would make sure of it, but that didn’t negate the fact that he was ill equipped to handle the emotional side of things.

She emerged from the bathroom a few moments later, dressed in a black tank top and light blue striped pajama pants. Her hair sat on top of her head in a messy bun. He tried to ignore her red, puffy eyes. They were enough to push whatever words he could find from his mouth.

“Olivia,” he said quickly.

Her arms crossed over her stomach as she looked up at him. His heart raced with the pressure of not messing this up.

“There is no version of this where you fail,” he told her.

She nodded, but the uncertainty hadn’t left her eyes. He took a step closer, and awkwardly placed his hands on her shoulders. Her brows furrowed in confusion as she looked up at him. He swallowed hard, trying to keep whatever was left of his composure.

“I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” he added.

There was an excruciatingly long pause, in which Olivia seemed to scrutinize his entire being. Bucky was immensely uncomfortable, but he’d already committed. Slowly, a smile spread across her lips. His face went deadpan as her small giggle broke the silence.

“Alright. I’m done,” he said flatly.

He dropped his hands from her shoulders and swooped down to pick up his bag. She cleared her throat, forcing herself to stop the laughter.

“No, Barnes wait,” she grabbed him by the hand and pulled him back around to face her, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have laughed. You just caught me off guard and you were so intense.”

His eyes slowly met hers. She smiled up at him apologetically.

“It’s fine Tiny,” he sighed. “Let’s get some sleep.”

“Yeah,” Olivia nodded, “okay.”

Neither made any motion to move. They were both unreasonably still, basking in the warmth that had passed through them in the moment. Bucky’s head shook lightly, as if coming out of a daze. He glanced down at their hands; she followed his gaze. Briefly he wondered when their fingers had become intertwined. He was surprised at how disappointed he was when she cleared her throat uncomfortably and pulled her hand out of his.

“Sorry,” she said abruptly, her face turning bright pink under her mass of freckles.

He didn’t respond, there wasn’t anything for him to say. He wasn’t sorry. She turned from him and crawled onto the bed, slipping under the covers.

“Hey wait,” she called out as he headed towards the bathroom.

“Yeah?”

“Here.”

She chucked him a pillow and he caught it with ease. Then she pulled off the top blanket, balled it up and threw it him also. 

"Thanks Tiny," he said with a small laugh. 

* * *

Olivia sat at the tiny desk in the hotel room, the dim light from her computer screen illuminated her tired eyes. She’d been doing research nonstop for two days and working closely with Nat on a cover. The nerves were constant, so sleep was fleeting. Bucky had left the morning after they’d arrived to do some scouting; she hadn’t seen him since. His absence would have been a cause for concern for her except that he’d sort of kept in contact, sending her one-word texts here and there.

His last text was over five hours ago, but she hadn’t noticed. The music coming from her earbuds was loud enough to distract her from her anxiety and block out the rest of the world. She was sure she had read everything the internet could offer her on David Sinclair and his bank. There was absolutely nothing linking him to HYDRA, and she’d spent hours pouring over their files that Natasha had leaked. She was over exhausted and more she read the more stressed she became. She needed to take a break.

It was only ten minutes into her movie, when her head grew too heavy for the arm she’d propped it up on. She let her arm fall across the desk and hunched over, resting her head on it. Her eyes fluttered and she allowed sleep to over come her. With her ear buds in, she didn’t hear Bucky come in. He walked over and stood behind her. He removed one of her earbuds and leaned down next to her.

“How exactly is this research?”

Olivia gasped, snapping her head up. She turned slightly and instinctively swung her fist directly at his face. He dodged his head, catching her fist in his hand. A smiled spread across his face.

“You’re going to have to move faster than that,” he said, cocking his head to the side.

“What the fuck Barnes,” Olivia growled.

“I’m sorry,” he said, retreating to sit on the edge of the bed, “I couldn’t resist. You look awful by the way.”

“Thanks,” Olivia scoffed. “When was your last shower? You smell like a dead raccoon.”

“Specific,” he said with a nod. He stood and pulled his shirt off.

“What…um…okay,” Olivia sputtered. “What are you doing?”

“Taking a shower,” he said raising an eyebrow. “Why, is there a problem?”

“I just…you’re just,” she said, gesturing to him.

“Well if you would stop talking to me, I would already be in the shower instead of standing out here shirtless.”

“Fine…whatever, don’t use all the hot water.”

“Yep.”

After twenty minutes in the shower, Olivia stood and stormed over to the door. She pounded on it fervidly. He’d definitely used up all of the hot water, and Olivia still needed to shower.

“Barnes, get the fuck out!”

She heard the shower turn off; a few moments later he popped the bathroom door open. Olivia was bombarded with steam as he brushed past her, towel drying his hair. He was still shirtless. She turned to face him, her hands on her hips.

“So when I said ‘don’t use all the hot water’, you heard?”

“Well,” he started, “I was going to save some hot water for you, but then I just kept hearing ‘you smell like a dead raccoon’ over and over again and I just…”

He shrugged as he trailed off. Olivia glowered at him. She was exhausted, overwhelmed, and completely on edge. Bucky’s eyes widened as she let out something in between a guttural scream and a howl. She flung herself at full speed directly into him, throwing her arms around his waist. He fell backwards onto the ground, less from the force of her and more from pure shock.

“Now what?” he asked, smirking up at Olivia.

“I hate you,” she breathed.

“Yeah,” he nodded, “I know.”

She let out a tiny whimper as she dropped her head on his chest. His body tensed beneath her, but she hadn’t noticed.

“Um,” he said softly, “I’m sorry.”

He gently lifted her head off of him, his eyes were full of concern. The back of his hand pressed against her forehead; he slid it down to her cheek, then her collarbone.

“Tiny, you’re burning up,” he said softly.

“It’s probably just a stress fever,” she said, shaking her head.

“You need sleep,” he said firmly. “Tomorrow is a big day.”

She groaned dropping her head back on his chest. Slowly, he sat up, brining her up with him. The fever was making her head fuzzy and the exhaustion hit every inch of her body. She didn’t protest as he stood, lifting her with him in his arms. Her legs intuitively wrapped around him and she placed her head in the crook of his neck as he carried her to the bed.

He pulled back the blanket and set her in the bed. She watched him as he went to his bag to dig out a shirt. He turned back to her to give her a small smile.

“Night Tiny,” he said.

“Night,” she replied.

As he walked towards the bathroom her stomach lurched. The nerves were eating away at her and the last thing that she wanted was to be alone.

“Bucky.”

“Yeah?”

“I just…” she hesitated, looking up at him.

He nodded slightly; she was relived that she didn’t have to explain herself any further. Slowly he made his way over to her, then knelt down beside her. She rolled over onto her side so that they were face to face.

“I don’t want to do this.”

“I know,” he nodded. “But uh, I’m going to be there, the entire time. And like I said the other night, in a moment of what one might call vulnerability, I’m not going to let anything happen to you. Remember that?”

“Yeah,” Olivia said, biting her lip, “and then I laughed at you.”

“You laughed at me, yep,” he said, his lips forming a thin line.

“I also apologized.”

“That’s right, you did. Anyway, you need to get some sleep.”

“Don’t leave,” she said abruptly.

“Olivia,” he said with an awkward laugh, “I think that’s your fever talking.”

“Well it might be, but if the fever takes me in the middle of the night Steve and Tony will be pissed,” she mumbled as she scooted over to the other side of the bed.

He shook his head as he chuckled lightly, but he didn’t push the issue further as he climbed into the bed beside her. 


	20. You Owe Me a New Jacket

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all, here's another kind of long one! There was just a lot of content to go through and I couldn't find a place where I wanted to split it. So I didn't! I hope you all enjoy it! :)

The party was Monte Carlo themed, which Olivia found incredibly trivial for a room full of the wealthiest people in the world. As gambling could ever thrill someone with endless money. Still, as she stood in the corner of the room, sipping a martini, she couldn’t help but notice that none of the party goers lacked any delight as the spun wheels and rolled their dice. Never in her life had she seen such a gross display of affluence, and she’d been to two Tony Stark parties. Allegedly all proceeds of the party went to some non-profit organization that Olivia had never heard of. Clearly a Sinclair creation, used as a cover for tax write-offs.

David Sinclair had yet to grace his own party with his presence, as was custom for the wealthy host. His sister and business partner, Grace Sinclair, had descended the grand staircase approximately twenty-five minutes after the party had officially started. Olivia assumed that would give her another twenty minutes at least to continue surveying the party before he arrived.

Her shimmery gold dress, clung tightly to her form, making it difficult to take full, deep breaths. Or perhaps that was the effect of the nerves coursing through her body and making her tremble ever so slightly. When Mr. Sinclair finally made his entrance, the trembling worsened. His presence sent a wave of excitement throughout the party, it was completely overwhelming. She pressed her fingernails into her palm, focusing on the pressure in her hand. It calmed her slightly and the shaking stopped; she couldn’t risk anyone seeing her in such a state.

“You need to remove yourself from that corner Tiny.”

Bucky’s voice came through the comm in her ear low and crisp. It was something of a relief, hearing him, knowing he was close enough to see her. On the other hand, his words made her heart skip a beat; she wasn’t ready to leave her corner, even if he was right.

“Go play Craps or something,” he said.

“I don’t want to.”

“Well,” he sighed, “you aren’t you tonight. You’re someone else…someone who doesn’t like to linger in corners, alone, sipping martinis. Please sip that slowly by the way.”

Olivia resisted the urge to slam her drink back in defiance, knowing that she needed to present and alert. Instead she scratched her nose inconspicuously with her middle finger, hoping wherever he was, that he saw it. A low chuckle in her ear told her that he had. A small grin spread across her lips at the sound.

“You’re something else, you know that?” She could hear the smile in his voice. “Now, c’mon, you can do this. You in that dress is enough to stop anyone in their tracks, Sinclair will notice you soon enough.”

“What are you saying Barnes?” she asked.

“Let’s just say, I would be staring at you all night, even if it wasn’t my job.”

“Such a charmer,” she said, blushing slightly in spite of herself. “You must have absolutely ruined girls back in the twenties.”

“You mean back before I was encumbered with seventy odd years of trauma? Possibly. Steve is probably better equipped to verify that for you.”

“Yikes,” Olivia breathed. 

“Craps table. Now.”

Olivia gave a nod slight enough that if anyone else had seen they wouldn’t have paid any attention to it at all. She plucked herself out of the corner and made her way over to the crowded Craps table.

It wasn’t a terribly difficult concept and she picked it up quickly. More than that, she seemed to have incredible luck. Quickly, she found herself actually having a decent time. The distraction of the cheers every time she rolled lucky, was enough to keep her mind from the mission for a moment. Apparently she had drawn just enough attention to herself for Grace Sinclair, David Sinclair's sister to notice her. It was a step in the right direction, the closer to she to Grace, the closer she could get to David.

“For a game of pure luck, you’re very good.”

Olivia didn’t jump at the sound of the woman’s voice at her shoulder; Bucky had warned her that Grace was walking towards her. She turned; an artificial smile plastered across her face. Her smile was almost enough to match the one that Grace wore, but Olivia couldn’t compete with someone who’d been practicing artifice her entire life.

Grace was stunning, there was no denying it. From her research Olivia knew she was in her late forties, but she didn’t look it. Whatever work she’d inevitably had done to her face was good, natural, subtle enough that at a glance, one would never know. Up close though, Olivia could see that her skin was pulled slightly too tight, the lines around her striking green eyes were artificially covered up. Her blonde curls, dyed fairer no doubt, were pulled in an elaborate half up, half down style. She too, was in a gold, shimmery dress; Olivia knew at once that she’d made a mistake wearing the same color as the hostess, but how was she to know?

“Beginner’s luck?” Olivia said innocently.

“Must be,” Grace nodded, pursing her lips together. “Grace Sinclair, I don’t believe we’ve met.” She held her hand out for Olivia to shake.

“Tessa Rose,” she said, shaking Grace’s hand. “I’m here on behalf of Stark Industries.”

“Stark Industries?” she said with raised eyebrows. “Well I must admit, we were expecting Miss Potts herself.”

“Yes,” Olivia nodded, “she sends her regards, but unfortunately something did come up. I’m sure you’ll be pleased to find that her donation remains the same, as well as her interest in Mr. Sinclair’s request.”

“Ah yes,” Grace said, her eye narrowing at Olivia, “well, I’m sure David will be more than happy to hear that at least someone from Stark Industries has finally shown up to one of his benefits.”

Tony had briefed her on his involvement or lack thereof with Sinclair Bank. When Natasha pitched the cover, Tony had been staunchly against it, fearing that his name would spark interest in Olivia’s involvement with him specifically. Pepper had actually been the one to push Tony past that. She’d received an invitation to the party and insisted that the Sinclairs would be too ecstatic to have finally received a response from Pepper that they wouldn’t even hear Tony’s name.

“Your drink is gone, why don’t you walk with me and we'll get you another?” Grace said, offering her arm to Olivia. “No when to walk away dear,” she added as Olivia hesitated by the table.

Olivia let out a sheepish laugh and looped her arm through Grace’s. She didn’t want to stay to play, she wanted to stay because the older woman made her unreasonably nervous. Grace looked at Olivia like she was something she’d stepped in, ruining her overpriced high heels.

“Tell me something about yourself Miss Rose,” Grace said, pulling Olivia away from the table. “How did you get a job at one of the most exclusive companies in the world?”

“What should I answer first?” Olivia asked, keeping her voice light and airy.

“Oh, you pick,” Grace said. She stopped at a high table and snapped at a waiter walking by, “Drinks,” she said. He nodded and dashed away, coming back almost immediately with two glasses of champagne.

Olivia smiled a thanks and sipped her champagne politely.

“I’m not sure there’s much to tell,” she said, playing coy. Women like Grace were easier to deal with if they always believed they had the upper hand. “I graduated from MIT Sloan, specializing in Business Analytics, and applied for a job I thought I was qualified for. I was naïve to think Stark Industries would hire fresh out of college, but I guess Miss Potts saw something in my resume. She offered me a position as one of her assistants; not ideal but I was assured the was room for growth. Besides, it could be worse, I do get the pleasure of attending lavish parties on her behalf.”

Grace lifted her chin, her thin lips pressed together as she surveyed Olivia. Olivia tried to read her, but almost everything about her was hidden under pretense. She thought that Grace bought her story, it seemed like she did, although there was no way to be sure.

“You got quite lucky then,” she said as she brought her champagne to her lips. “How old are you? You look so young.”

As she said this, she lifted her hand to Olivia’s cheek, gently running the back of her fingers down her face. Olivia smiled sweetly, instead of jerking her head back like her instincts told her too. Bucky didn’t like it either, he made a low guttural growl in her ear.

“I’m twenty-four,” Olivia said quickly, hoping Grace wasn’t perceptive enough to pick up the sound coming from her ear.

“So young,” Grace said. “Well my dear, I think it’s time I introduced you to my brother. He’s been eyeing you all night, from the corner of the room to our little conversation.”

Olivia’s chest tightened; she wasn’t thrilled at the tone in Grace’s voice. She also didn’t love what Grace was implying. Olivia hadn't gone unnoticed in her safe space, in fact she'd drawn the attention of the most eligible, and dangerous, man in the room. It didn’t matter though, she needed to get to David Sinclair, so she nodded and allowed Grace to take her by the hand and lead her through the party.

“David darling,” she said as they approached the young man, “this is Tessa Rose. She’s come in lieu of Miss Pepper Potts, but hopefully has some good news for you.”

He was younger than his sister, Olivia knew from her research. They had the same blonde curls, but his were natural. His crystal blue eyes were striking, brighter than the lackluster green of his sister's. He looked terribly southern, like a rich southern gentleman from old movies, with sun-kissed skin, a soft, round face, and a smile that perfectly flaunted his too-white teeth. There was no denying that he was handsome, but just like his sister, he gave off the impression that every attractive thing about him was falsified.

“Ah, Miss Rose,” he drawled, kissing the back of her hand, “it is a pleasure to meet you.”

“The pleasure is all mine,” Olivia said, flashing her own dazzling smile. She flooded him with warm, pleasant feelings, hoping that he was easier to influence than his sister.

“I’ll leave you to it,” Grace said, turning and walking away from them.

“I hope my sister didn’t scare you too much,” he said to Olivia.

“She’s lovely,” Olivia lied.

“She’s a monster,” David laughed.

“I’m a big girl,” Olivia winked, “I handled her just fine.”

David’s eyes widened in surprise, he bit his lip as his eyes trailed up and down over Olivia. She silently prayed the Bucky was too far to clock actual facial expressions. Thankfully, he was silent over the comm; if he had seen, he was biting his tongue.

“Well, Miss Rose, I do believe you owe me a private little chat at some point this evening,” he said, “but as you can see, I am a little preoccupied at the moment.”

“Mmm absolutely,” Olivia nodded, thinking she hardly owed him anything, “I couldn’t possibly pull you away from you host duties.”

She sipped her champagne through smirked lips. He gave a short laugh, clearly taken aback by her. Evidently, he was much easier to influence, and from what she could tell, her charm was working on him.

“Well, until then, I wonder if you would be so kind as to accompany me for the evening?” he asked.

“Mr. Sinclair,” Olivia laughed sheepishly, “I hardly think-”

“Please, call me David,” he said, cutting her off, “and truly, you would be doing me a favor.”

“You can’t say ‘no’,” Bucky whispered in her ear. He was annoyed, she could hear it in his voice, but they both knew he was right.

“Well in that case,” Olivia said, smiling brightly, “I would love to accompany you for the evening.”

* * *

Bucky could in fact see facial expressions from where he sat. They’re property was expansive, but their orchards sat just on the threshold of the estate, and he could see directly into the party through their floor to ceiling windows from the tree he was perched in. He was a sharpshooter after all, known to hit targets from impossible distances, so he absolutely saw David Sinclair bite his lip at Olivia while he scrutinized every part of her.

It made his blood boil, and for a brief second, he was distracted, trying to figure out why. He couldn’t lose focus though, she needed him to stay sharp. So, he shook it off, although he kept a closer eye on the smarmy blonde that now had his hand on Olivia’s lower back as he ushered her through the party. He wanted to grab his arm and snap it in half, and he could, if Sinclair wasn’t so high profile. Still, Tony would find a way out for him, and if he couldn’t, Bucky was used to being on his own.

He shook his head again, bring his attention back to Olivia. She was a natural, he couldn’t believe she had ever been nervous. If she still were, he couldn’t tell by looking at her. He supposed he could drop the intricate barrier they’d build around their connection to find out, but they had agreed to only use it when absolutely necessary. He didn’t think she’d see this as one of those instances. There was something about the way she laughed at Sinclair’s jokes though, smiled when he did, that made Bucky believe that she was actually enjoying herself. The barrier fell on his end, and he reached out, trying to feel what she was feeling.

“David,” Olivia said sweetly. Bucky held his breath as he watched her gently touch his arm. “I must excuse myself for a moment.”

“Of course,” Sinclair said, smiling down at her.

Olivia departed from his side and soon was completely out of Bucky’s line of sight. He heard her heels against the marble floor as she made her way to what he assumed was the restroom. A door slammed and he knew he was in trouble.

“What the fuck Barnes?” she hissed in his ear.

“I was just making sure you were alright,” he replied.

“Did I look like I wasn’t alright?”

“There was just a lot of…touching and uncouth looks.”

“Uncouth? Are you joking?”

“No.”

“Barnes,” Olivia sighed, “I can’t do my job with you distracting me.”

“I think you should open up our connection,” he said, “I need to know that you’re okay.”

“Bucky I’m okay,” she said gently.

“Alright, well good,” Bucky grunted, “If you’re okay then great. I’ll leave you to it.”

He heard her sigh again, but she didn’t continue their conversation. She exited the bathroom, and he kept his eyes on Sinclair until she was by his side again. He didn’t understand why she had to openly flirt with him all night, allow him to gawk at her, in order to get information. It seemed too obvious a tactic, surely Sinclair could tell it was fake...or maybe she it wasn't. He shook his head again, of course it was fake, it had to be. 

Bucky briefly wondered what Steve would have to say about all of this. Probably something stupid and snarky about feelings, regardless of if Bucky had them or not. Obviously he would be completely off base with that, because he very certainly did not have feelings for Olivia. But Steve was always so shortsighted when it came to these things though, a true romantic at heart. The truth was that he felt like Olivia Harrington had been put on this earth with him exclusively to annoy the shit out of him, and damn if she wasn't good at it. It was, in his opinion, the one thing she absolutely excelled at.

They were on a mission together, it was his job to protect her, for Tony…for Steve. So of course, he was going to feel overly protective of her. It made sense that he wanted to rip Sinclair’s arms out of their sockets every time he touched her. Completely understandable that he wanted to gouge the man’s eyes out whenever he looked at her wrong. Bucky was just doing his job.

He ignored the ache in his stomach as he watched her laugh at something else Sinclair had said. He definitely didn’t smile when he felt her lower the barrier between them, to let him know that she definitely was not enjoying her evening and confirm that it was in fact an act. 

* * *

The party had almost completely died down. Olivia sat at a table alone, waiting as David Sinclair said his goodbyes to drunken party goers. A young gentleman dressed in all black made his way over to Sinclair and Olivia watched as he whispered something into Sinclair’s ear. Sinclair nodded at the man and glanced briefly at Olivia. She pretended to be too interested in the drink in her hand.

“Did you see that?” she whispered to Barnes.

“Of course, I did Tiny,” he replied. “Do you recognize that man?”

“I can’t see his face.”

“Keep your guard up.”

Olivia smiled brightly as David approached her. He offered her his hand and she took it, allowing him to pull her up. He’d been the perfect gentleman all night and this was no exception.

“You’re a very patient woman,” he said to her.

“Well, I came here for a reason,” she replied, “I don’t think my employer would be too happy if I left without at least discussing it with you.”

“Of course,” he smiled. “Come with me.”

Olivia could sense a change in him, she just didn’t know what. She held tightly to her façade, trying not to let her nerves get the better of her, as he led her outside. He dropped her arm as they approached the courtyard, stepping out in front of her.

“Your courtyard is stunning,” she said, glancing around.

It wasn’t a lie. They were surrounded by all kinds of flowers and fountains. The orchard was just down a flight of stairs and sent the sweet scent of oranges through the air.

“That just might be the first honest thing you’ve said to me all night,” he sighed, his back turned to her.

“I’m sorry?” Olivia asked, trying to keep her voice even.

He turned to her, there was something sad and bitter in his smile. She tried to laugh, but no sound would release from her mouth. Slowly he made his way towards her and slowly she retreated, until she was near the wall.

“You know,” he said, “we keep tabs on Tony and his friends, but he’s managed to keep you a pretty little secret, hasn’t he?”

“What are you talking about?” Olivia asked, shaking her head. “I work for Pepper.”

“If you keep lying, this will be worse for you,” he said through gritted teeth. “Tell me, Harrington, in all of your research you couldn’t find anything linking us to HYDRA could you?”

“David,” Olivia breathed, “I swear I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

She released a flurry of calming emotions on him. If she could get him too relaxed, she might be able to run away. He growled at her, slamming her into the wall behind her. She gasped for breath as the wind knocked out of her.

“Do not pull your little trick on me,” he hissed. “I don’t like to be lied to and I definitely don’t like to be manipulated. We have many friends Olivia, your uncle was one of them. Good man, Pearce, he mentioned you once or twice. Never did see a picture of you though. Luckily for us, we have many friends in HYDRA. A few of the old goons even work security at my parties.”

Olivia clutched her stomach, trying to catch her breath. The man in black, she must have worked with him, he had recognized her. Sinclair bent down and tucked his finger under her chin, pulling her up with him.

“Don’t worry,” he said pulling her face against his, “I like to take care of these things myself. It’ll be quick for you; I like your face.”

He reached in his coat pocket and pulled out a switchblade.

“Olivia duck,” Bucky said in her ear.

She obeyed, ducking down quickly. As she ducked, a silent bullet went straight through David Sinclair’s head. Olivia placed a hand over her mouth, holding back her scream. She froze as he fell in front of her, unmoving.

“Into the orchard Tiny, let’s go,” Bucky said.

“I can’t move,” she squeaked.

“You have to.”

Olivia willed herself upwards. Her stomach lurched as she stepped over David Sinclair. She ran straight into the trees, her legs almost jelly. Bucky dropped down out of a tree in front of her and this time she couldn’t hold back her scream. He grabbed her and pulled her against him, covering her mouth with his hand.

“I need you to calm down,” he whispered into her ear.

She nodded against his hand and he released her. Immediately she doubled over, heaving up the contents of her stomach. When she finished, she shot up and turned on him abruptly.

“What the fuck Barnes,” she hissed.

“He was about to kill you,” Bucky replied with a shrug.

“You shot him,” Olivia breathed. She began pacing back and forth, completely unable to control herself. “You shot him and he’s dead and it all happened, right in front of me.”

Bucky stopped her and took her face in his hands. He bent down and locked his eyes on hers. She shook lightly, adrenaline racing through her. He tried to alleviate the panic, pulling it from her and replacing it with a sense of calm. She shook her head at him.

“That’s not working.” Tears started to form in her eyes. 

“Olivia I’m sorry,” he said gently, “I am so sorry. I couldn’t let him kill you.”

“Okay,” she nodded, “but Bucky what are we going to do? You just killed one of the most high-profile men in the country. That wasn’t part of the mission.”

“Yeah, I know.” He glanced up and surveyed their position. Olivia took note of his furrowed brow and his shallow breathing. He was hiding it well, but he was frustrated, nervous even. “We have to get out of here,” he said. “Who knows how long we have until they realize he’s been gone longer than it would take for him to murder you.”

Olivia sucked in a breath; she didn’t love hearing that she’d almost been offed. He tossed her a back-pack that held a change of clothes for her and started packing up his gear.

“Get changed,” he said sharply, “I’m going to find us a ride.”

“Absolutely not,” Olivia scoffed.

“Well you can’t be running around in a bloodied dress.”

“What?” she said, glancing down at her gown. Her stomach churned at the sight of blood splattered against the gold fabric. “No, I wasn’t talking about that, you are not leaving me here alone,” she said pulling the dress down and shimmying out of it.

Bucky’s eyes widened and he spun around with his back towards her. She laughed, shaking her head, throwing on her pants and a shirt quickly. She kicked off her horribly uncomfortable heels and slipped on her converse. It was freezing, but the adrenaline rush was still going hard, she could barely feel anything beyond that. She put on her black zip up hoodie anyway, knowing it would eventually come in handy. 

“You can turn around now Barnes,” she said, buttoning her jeans.

He pulled a baseball cap out of the back-pack and placed it firmly on Olivia's head. Then, without a word he grabbed her by the hand and pulled her through the trees. She kept his pace as best she could, which at times proved difficult. By the time they’d made it off the estate and onto the street police cars had begun to zoom past them.

They continued down the street silently, dodging into bushes anytime the saw a pair of headlights. Olivia’s feet were already sore, from wearing heels all night. The endless walking didn’t help. The adrenaline had dissipated too, replaced with an incredibly uneasy feeling. She knew she was in shock, David Sinclair's vacant eyes flashed in front of hers every so often and she could feel her entire body vibrating against her will. She dropped Bucky's hand to zip up her jacket, realizing for the first time that they hadn't let go of each other for the past hour. When she finished zipping up her jacket, she looked up at him, casually brushing her hand against his. He grabbed it again, and Olivia's heart stopped racing so fast. It was warm and comforting being attached to him in this way. 

It took her another twenty minutes before her legs started to feel like jelly. He hadn't spoken to her, so she didn't know if he had a plan, but she couldn't imagine he wanted her to walk all the way back to the motel. There was no way she'd make it, they had driven at least an hour and half to get to the party in the first place. She'd dropped the car off with the valet though, there had been no way to inconspicuously get it back. 

“What exactly is the plan here Barnes?” Olivia snapped.

“The plan is for us to get out of her, get back to the motel, grab our things and go,” he said gruffly.

"I know we aren't walking the whole way," she said narrowing her eyes at him. 

He glanced down at her briefly.

"Well you don't exactly have any other options."

"Barnes," she whined, "you can't be serious."

"As of right now I am," he said turning on her. "We'll stop at the next gas station and I'll try to um...borrow a car."

"Fuck."

"I'm sorry Olivia, this didn't exactly go as planned, and I don't generally have backup plans."

“Did you contact Steve?”

“Obviously,” he said, “I didn’t have much of a choice.”

A pair of headlights flashed in front of them as car began to turn the corner. Bucky groaned and pulled her off the road and into some bushed. The car slowed and Olivia’s heart raced. It pulled off to the side of the road in front of them and the window slowly rolled down.

“I’ve been telling Steve for years that baseball caps are not a good disguise,” Clint said from the driver’s seat.

“Clint!” Olivia breathed.

“Heard you might need some backup.”

Bucky’s relief intertwined with Olivia’s as he helped her up and opened the passenger door for her. He climbed into the back and Clint spun the car around, driving back down the hill.

“So, Barton,” Bucky sighed, “how much trouble am I in?”

“Well,” Clint said with a laugh, “you shot David Sinclair in the head. But…you also saved her life so really it’s still up in the air.”

“Great,” Bucky chuckled darkly.

“I suppose you could have shot him in the leg or something,” Clint suggested.

“And give him the chance to alert his staff to Olivia’s location? Those ex HYDRA agents would have gotten to her before I could.”

“True,” Clint nodded, “you might want to pitch that one to Tony.”

“We don’t need to pitch Tony anything,” Olivia said, “Bucky hand me the backpack.”

Bucky dropped the backpack in her lap. She pulled out the clutch she was carrying and dug around in it, bringing out a small flash drive, then she handed it to Bucky. He looked at it, then up at her, utterly confused.

“What is that?” Clint asked, grinning.

“Barnes and I had to have a private little chat at one point during the party,” she said, “I excused myself to use the restroom, but I found Sinclair's office.”

“It wasn’t locked?” asked Bucky.

“Of course it was locked. With a code and everything,” said Olivia said. “It wasn’t hard to figure out, though.”

“What do you mean?” Clint asked, eyeing her.

“I just…okay well, I felt his energy on the keypad and where it lingered the strongest,” she said.

Bucky let out a disbelieving laugh from the backseat. Clint smirked, shaking his head lightly. He looked over at her, reached his hand out and mussed her hair affectionately.

“You can read objects Tiny,” said Bucky, “that’s incredible.”

“Tony’s going to be so stoked,” Clint laughed.

“Yeah well you know what isn't incredible,” Olivia said, shifting in her seat, “ is that I’ve had to pee for like the last hour, so can you pull over?”

“No,” Bucky said quickly, “we’ll be back to the motel-”

“In another half hour Barnes,” Olivia snapped. "I really have to go!"

Clint looked in his review mirror, making sure Bucky wasn’t going to rip his head off if he did in fact pull over. Bucky nodded and Clint pulled into a poorly lit gas station. Olivia looked at him, her eyes narrowed.

“Really Clint?” she asked

“Oh, c’mon Livvy, you rub elbows with some rich folks for an evening and all of a sudden you’re above roadside bathrooms?” Clint smirked.

“I’m not even convinced this place has a bathroom,” she grumbled as she climbed out of the car.

Clint chuckled lightly behind her. Bucky and Clint sat in silence for a few moments, neither knowing exactly what to say. Clint shifted uncomfortably in his seat; he didn’t know Barnes very well…no one other than Steve knew Barnes very well. He didn’t exactly make himself easily accessible. 

“Barton,” Bucky said from the backseat. Clint jumped slightly but looked back at him. “I just wanted to say thank you,” he said.

“Well,” said Clint smiled nervously, “Cap and Tony sent me, so you know…you could just thank them.”

“I know,” Bucky nodded. A short laugh released from his lips, “I’m just trying to express my gratitude. She was seconds from breaking and I know she was relieved to see you.”

Clint’s jaw dropped and he eyed Barnes in his review mirror. He didn’t miss the hint of frustration in Bucky’s voice.

“I didn’t mean to step on your toes man,” Clint said quickly.

“No, that isn’t what I meant,” Bucky assured him. “I just think she was…ah…ready to see someone else’s face. You know, someone she might feel a bit more comfortable with?”

“I…uh…I think she just really had to pee,” Clint said awkwardly.

Bucky chortled, nodding his head slightly. The smile on his face disappeared and his brow furrowed in confusion. He looked up at Clint sharply.

“Something’s wrong,” he said abruptly.

“What?”

“Get Steve and Tony here now,” he barked at Clint.

Without another word Bucky flung himself from the car. He didn’t have time to put together a plan, Olivia was in trouble and that was all he knew. He rounded the corner of the gas station building. The HYDRA agent he’d seen talking to Sinclair was holding Olivia’s arms behind her back, his other hand, held a switchblade against her stomach. She was glaring at Grace who stood in front of her, squeezing her face in her hand. Olivia’s eyes darted to Bucky and Grace turned, following her gaze.

“Ah, so you’re the one who killed my brother,” Grace said, moving slowly towards him. “We have surveillance cameras everywhere. So, tell me, who has the flash drive.”

“Barnes get out of here,” Olivia snapped.

“Um…no,” Bucky said, keeping his eyes on Grace.

“Barnes?” Grace said, her eyebrows raised, “Not _the_ infamous James Barnes.”

“That’s him,” said the man holding Olivia, “I’d recognize him anywhere.”

“Well,” Grace scoffed, “such a shame you had to go and remember who you really are, you were the best agent HYDRA’s ever seen, Winter Soldier.”

Bucky’s blood boiled. He glared at her, trying to steady his angry breathing. He couldn’t let her distract him though, he needed to stay focused on getting Olivia out alive.

“Listen Barnes, we have surveillance cameras everywhere. So, tell me, who has the flash drive,” Grace said.

“I do,” Bucky said, pulling it out of his pocket, “let her go and it’s yours.”

“Oh good, so it is here,” Grace smirked, “go ahead,” she said, nodding her head to the HYDRA agent.

He drove the knife into Olivia’s abdomen and tossed her to the ground. Without thinking Bucky pulled out his handgun and fired at the HYDRA agent, then turned it on Grace. Her own pistol was aimed directly at him.

“Drop it,” she said sharply.

“The gun or?” Bucky asked, waving the flash drive.

“You’re cute,” Grace said with a twisted grin.

“You aren’t going to shoot me,” he said to her, “you know I’m quicker than that and you’ll lose your flash drive if I run.”

“Oh, I don’t think you’ll be going anywhere,” she said, glancing down at Olivia.

“She isn’t my mission,” Bucky grunted, “this is.”

“Darling,” she laughed, “you’re a terrible liar.”

“Yeah, well,” Bucky sighed, “lying’s not really part of my job.”

He threw his gun from his hand. Olivia dove for it, as Clint emerged from the shadows, grabbing Grace by the wrist, shaking her pistol from her. Olivia’s shot went straight through Grace’s shoulder and she went down with an agonized scream.

Olivia hadn’t fully grasped that she’d been stabbed, all she could focus on was getting Bucky’s gun and taking Grace down but not out. They needed her still. Once she’d managed that, the pain in her abdomen became a little sharper and her hands flew to the wound. Her shirt was wet and as she pulled a shaky hand to her face, she realized it was blood.

“That’s a lot of blood,” she said, looking up at Bucky.

He was so quick, moving almost instantaneously to catch her as she collapsed to her knees. She winced as he eased her down onto her back. The pain under her rib cage throbbed, but she was more worried about the amount of blood she was losing. Apparently, so was Bucky, as his eyes scanned for something to stop it. He unzipped his dark jacket and shrugged it off.

“A strip tease Barnes?” Olivia said, “Now really isn’t the time.”

“You’d like that wouldn’t you,” he grinned. He balled up his jacket, then glanced at her apologetically as he said, “This is going to hurt Tiny.”

“I can handle it,” she nodded.

She couldn’t handle it. An involuntary shriek escaped her as he pressed his jacket firmly against her stab wound. Her lip quivered as tears streamed down her face. Bucky remained steady and calm, keeping an even pressure against her.

“I’m sorry,” he said gently.

“No, I’m good, I’m great,” she grunted.

“I said I wouldn’t let anything happen to you and something happened to you.”

He was in his head, battling with himself, beating himself up. Olivia was having a hard time controlling her power, she could feel everything that he wasn’t actively keeping from her.

“You didn’t let this happen to me Barnes,” she said, “I had to pee.”

“I should have come with you.”

“Well that would have just been weird.”

He let out a small laugh and Olivia caught him slip, releasing the smallest bit of nervous energy. Her head started to spin, and she could feel herself becoming panicked as her body finally succumbed to the shock. Nausea washed over her and she had to close her eyes to focus on not throwing up. 

“Hey,” Bucky said softly, “you did amazing.”

“I feel like this part kind of knocks a few points off the ‘amazing’ qualification,” she mumbled.

“No,” Bucky said shaking his head, “if anything this gives you double points.”

“Bucky?”

“Yeah?”

“Am I going to die?”

“I’m not going to let that happen. You’re going to be okay.”

“Okay well you’re being awfully nice to me,” she said, “so it just feels like maybe I might not make it out of this.”

“You’re making it out of this,” he said firmly. “I can be nice without agenda sometimes.”

“Well that is news to me,” she muttered.

“Olivia, stop talking.”

“No.”

“Fascinating,” he smirked, “you continue to be annoying in all situations including bleeding out all over my very expensive jacket.”

“That’s why you shouldn’t wear very expensive clothes on a mission Barnes,” Olivia retorted.

She was cold, but she wouldn’t tell Barnes. He was keeping such a solid exterior for her, but he was worried, she could feel it. She didn't want to worry him further because if he broke, then she would break. He was imbuing her with soothing, serene feelings, absorbing all of her fear. Her eyelids grew heavy and she struggled to maintain consciousness. His hand was on her forehead, then her cheek, caressing it lightly.

“Hey, Tiny,” he said, “I need you to stay alive okay?”

“For Steve?” she asked.

He was quiet for a moment and she forced her eyes open. His eyes were on hers, his eyebrows knit together as he watched her. He was concerned, confused, Olivia couldn’t tell.

“Yeah,” he nodded, “yeah for Steve.”

“Right,” she breathed.

Her eyes fluttered, it was too hard too keep them open. It required too much energy to continue talking to him.

“Where are they?” Olivia heard him ask Clint.

“They should be here any minute.”

Clint’s voice sounded frantic, but she couldn’t feel anything from him, when only a moment ago she could feel his worry. She could hardly feel Bucky anymore, she struggled to hold onto him. Bucky told her she was going to be okay again, this time she believed him a little less. There were voices around her, familiar ones, Tony, Steve. The pain stopped and the pressure from Bucky’s hold eased up. But Olivia was hardly aware of any of it, she was on the verge of consciousness. She thought she might have been on the Quinjet, but she didn't know. Bucky was next to her the entire time. He pressed his hand against her forehead again.

“You owe me a new jacket,” he said to her gently.

She wanted to laugh, she wanted to call him a prick, but she wasn’t even sure that her smile made it to her lips. He leaned in again and she thought he touched the top of his lips to her forehead, but she could have been dreaming.

“Thank you for not dying Tiny,” he murmured. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for continuing to read! I absolutely love all of your comments and appreciate them so much :) they literally fuel my writing, so don't hesitate to leave any feedback! We'll get back to some Bucky/Liv arguing and hating each other again soon! I have some really fun things planned for these two, so stick around :)


	21. A Big Question, A List of Agreements

“How are you doing Buck?”

“I’m fine.”

Steve stared blankly at Bucky from across his desk. He knew Bucky was lying, he always knew when Bucky was lying. Bucky hadn’t been the same since the mission. To be fair Bucky hadn’t been exactly the same since he fell from the train in 1945, but he’d been better after his time in Wakanda. Steve could see him regressing now though. Maybe it was okay, Steve knew healing wasn’t linear; heck he still woke up from WWII nightmares almost nightly. The regression wasn’t entirely what Steve took issue with though. Bucky had almost completely shut himself out from everyone, Steve included. He was either in his room or the training room, and if he wasn’t in either of those places, he was out running. He ran a lot. And, he hadn’t been to see Olivia since they’d returned, in fact he blatantly refused to see her. Steve didn’t want to push it, but she was days away from being released from her bed in the med wing, and then Bucky would have to answer to her directly. Steve didn’t think anyone was ready for the fallout from that interaction.

“You aren’t fine Buck,” Steve sighed, leaning back in his chair.

Bucky’s lips pressed together firmly, his hand pulled his hair back and he propped his elbow up on the arm of his chair, resting his head on his fist. He raised his eyebrows at Steve, challenging him to push him further. Steve nodded slowly; Bucky was going to make this difficult for him.

“The hard way then?” asked Steve.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Bucky asserted.

“Alright,” Steve said with a sharp nod, “you’ve been completely isolating yourself…from everyone, which I understand, you shot and killed two people on your first mission with us. That couldn’t have been an easy choice for you to make. I’m sure now you’re dealing with some serious PTSD from that, which is completely normal, but you need to talk to someone.”

“Wasn’t a difficult choice at all,” Bucky grunted with a shake of his head, “one was about to kill her and the other very nearly did.”

“Alright,” Steve said slowly, “I’m sure you’re still probably experiencing some fallout from it.”

“Fine,” Bucky shrugged, “I guess I am. It’s for me to deal with, not anyone else.”

Steve sighed, rubbing his hand across his forehead. He thought back to when they were kids, he remembered being the stubborn asshole, not Bucky. Bucky smirked at him slightly, his shoulders shook as he let out a low chuckle. He was probably thinking the same thing.

“This isn’t funny Buck,” Steve said, smiling despite himself.

“It’s a little funny,” Bucky said.

“Bucky,” Steve groaned dropping his head back.

“Steve I’m fine, really,” Bucky sighed.

“You don’t have to protect me anymore Buck. I haven’t been that scrawny kid from Brooklyn for a long time now.”

“You’ll always be that scrawny kid from Brooklyn.”

“Thanks a lot jerk,” Steve laughed.

“Look,” Bucky sighed, “if you want me to talk to someone, I’ll talk to someone. I would just really prefer to handle things myself. Like I told you a while ago, I work best alone.”

“You work best with Olivia,” Steve corrected.

“She almost died,” Bucky said sharply.

“Protecting you and the information that she managed to steal on her own.”

“Alright well maybe she works better alone.”

“You saved her life twice.”

“I can’t work with her again Steve,” Bucky said.

Steve held his tongue, observing his friend instead. He wasn’t sure if Bucky knew that Steve was right and denying it, or if he truly didn’t believe that he and Olivia actually worked perfectly together. He suspected it was more than likely the first; Bucky didn’t like to be wrong. There was something else though.

“What happened Buck?” Steve asked.

“Other than her almost meeting her maker?” Bucky snapped.

“Yeah, other than that,” Steve pressed.

Bucky’s eyes met Steve’s, he stared at him silently for a moment. His lips pressed firmly together, and he swallowed hard. He breathed in slowly, then let out a long even breath.

“She almost died on my watch Steve,” he said in a low voice, “I told her I wouldn’t let anything happen to her and I failed to follow through on that. It’s my fault.”

“Well, she doesn’t see it that way,” Steve told him. “If you had gone to see her-”

“I’m not going to go see her Steve,” Bucky laughed bitterly. “It’s been three days, she’s fine.”

“It’s been five days.”

“Five days? Really?”

“Yes Bucky.”

“Okay well that doesn’t matter,” he said with a shake of his head, “she’s probably relieved to have a bit of a break from me.”

“Your absence has been noticed,” Steve said, watching Bucky with weary eyes.

Bucky narrowed his eyes at Steve as he let out an uneasy breath. He shrugged, giving Steve an apologetic look. Not apologetic for his actions, apologetic that he still couldn’t find fault in them. To be fair to Bucky, Olivia had seemed mildly relieved at his absence. Steve couldn’t tell if that was how she really felt, or if it was to hide her disappointment. That wasn’t the point though.

“I don’t need you two to be friends,” Steve said, “I do need you to play nice.”

“Steve,” Bucky groaned.

You’re her partner Buck,” Steve protested.

“I’m not her partner,” Bucky said with a sharp shake of his head, “I told you that I’m not working with her again.”

“What you actually said was that you can’t work with her again,” Steve corrected, “I think you’ll find that you will in fact be working with her again.”

“She’s your best friend Steve!” Bucky barked. “Do you know the pressure that comes with that? If I come home without her I…you won’t be able to handle it.”

Steve didn’t miss his slip up, but he decided to leave it for the time being. There was a tinge of pink in Bucky’s usually pale face. He was too hyped up; his energy was palpable. He could hardly sit still in his chair, shifting uncomfortably here and there. This was new, an effect from his time in HYDRA. Bucky had always been able to handle himself, keep his composure. Now the slightest offenses made him uneasy and tense. This was a weighty conversation and Bucky had become almost completely erratic over it. Steve needed to deescalate. 

“Bucky,” Steve said gently, “I assure you that if either of you came back without the other, I would be a mess. But we’re all adults, we all recognize the risk this job brings. She made her choice.”

Bucky was silent for a moment as he considered Steve’s words. Steve knew he’d phrased it correctly. If there was one thing Bucky respected after seventy years of being forced to do someone else’s bidding, it was the freedom to make one’s own decisions. Bucky wouldn’t fault Olivia for her choice to join the team, now Steve just needed to convince him that he was the right partner for her.

“Okay well what about the part where she’s a major pain in my ass?” Bucky retorted.

“What about the part where you’re a major pain in hers?” Steve asked.

“I can’t watch her almost die again Steve, I can’t,” he said, his voice growing desperate. “And if she doesn’t get lucky a second time…I can’t.”

“Okay,” Steve nodded.

“Okay?” Bucky said, his eyebrows knit together in confusion. “Just like that?”

“Yeah,” said Steve, “just like that. You’re right, with this job that is always a risk, and your mental health is more important to me than you two teaming up. We’ll partner her up with someone else, Sam maybe. Just to be clear though, you’ll be alright if she dies on his watch, right?”

Bucky’s jaw dropped, then quickly snapped back up, clenching his jaw. He narrowed his eyes at Steve. Steve’s mouth twitched as he tried to keep a steady, nonchalant look across his face.

“Rogers,” Bucky growled.

“No, it’s a serious question Buck. I just want to make sure that we are both on the same page and that I’m understanding what you’re saying. You trust anyone else on the team to partner with her on the field and if she does get hurt or doesn’t come back, you can handle that.”

“You’re a manipulative little punk you know that don’t you?”

“Bucky I’m just trying to give you the peace of mind new partners for you and Olivia would bring.”

Bucky stared at him glaringly. He hadn’t fully considered the alternative, which was that he would have no control over any dangerous situation that Olivia was in. Steve knew Bucky too well, and there was a part of him that was fond of Olivia. She was, after all, a major player in him breaking free from HYDRA. Bucky wouldn’t let her put her life in danger again unless he was there to make sure that she made it out safe, and Steve knew it.

“I’m still not going to see her,” Bucky said, pushing himself out of the chair.

“Fine,” Steve said, “but when she’s released, don’t be surprised if she tracks you down and tries to fight you or something. I warned you, my part is done.”

“I think I can handle myself against her,” Bucky scoffed, “but thanks.”

Bucky lingered at Steve’s door. He turned back to face his friend; Steve could see a question forming in his head. He waited patiently, allowing Bucky the time he needed. Another difference in the Bucky he'd grown up with and the one that stood in front of him now. He had always been so self-assured, words had often rolled easily off his tongue. Now he processed things slower. Steve knew it was a compound of losing some of that confidence as well as feeling out of place in this new world. 

“Is…she in love with you?” he asked.

“Um,” Steve hesitated. He was surprised by Bucky’s question, but he didn’t want to consider the implications. “No Bucky, she’s not in love with me.”

“Just…at the party, she said something about things being complicated between you two.”

“Buck,” Steve sighed, “maybe I’m not the one you should be talking about this with.”

“Well you see Steve, I would talk to her, but she’s just so damn annoying,” Bucky said, grinning slightly.

“Right, and you hate her,” Steve suppressed a laugh.

“Yes, exactly,” Bucky affirmed, “you understand.”

“Do you actually hate her though Bucky?” asked Steve.

“No Steve,” Bucky heaved a breath, “but, she definitely isn’t my favorite person. It’s hard to forget everything she did to me.”

“Yes,” Steve agreed, “but she’s also partly the reason you’re standing in front of me. That has to count for something.”

“It does,” Bucky said pressing his lips together. “It’s why I didn’t kill her the minute I saw her for her the first time.”

“Fair enough,” Steve sighed. “Why do you ask Buck?”

“Hmm?”

“If Liv is in love with me, why did you ask in the first place?”

Bucky’s forehead wrinkled in confusion. Steve watched as Bucky tried to process Steve’s words. He wasn’t a stupid man, by any means, but he seemed profoundly disoriented by Steve’s question.

“I just…she mentioned you, while she was, you know bleeding out in my arms,” he said slowly. “It…uh piqued my curiosity. That’s all.”

Steve couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. Bucky couldn’t hide the twinge of jealousy in his voice, no matter how nonchalant he tried to sound, and he was trying hard. Although, Steve wasn't sure if he was trying to hide the jealous undertones for Steve's sake or for his. Perhaps Bucky wasn’t being entirely honest with Steve, and he certainly wasn't being completely honest with himself. It was starting to occur to Steve that he had never seen Bucky act the way he did with Olivia. In the past, he’d been charming and confident with women, in a way that Steve still couldn’t manage to this day. With Olivia he was different, messy, and unnerved. Steve had written it off as a product of their time in HYDRA together, but he didn’t discount the many times he’d been wrong in his life.

If Bucky did have feelings for Olivia, as Steve was beginning to suspect, it would certainly present an uncomfortable situation, there was no doubt about that. There was something endearing about seeing Bucky shaken by a girl. Besides, there wasn’t anything Steve wouldn’t do for Bucky, especially after everything Bucky had endured because of him. If it came down to it, Steve would never intervene between Bucky and happiness, even it was with Olivia.

“Steve,” Bucky said blandly, “wipe that stupid smile off your face. I know what you’re thinking. I’m not even going to humor you by saying it out loud. Frankly, I’m a little offended you would even think it, but I’m certainly not surprised.”

“I didn’t say anything Buck,” Steve smirked.

“You don’t have to, you’re very easy to read,” Bucky said with a shake of his head, “and also terribly predictable.” He stared down at Steve for a moment. When Steve didn’t relent, he scoffed and rolled his eyes. “C’mon Rogers, she’s actually the bane of my existence, and I am positive her thoughts on me are the same. I didn’t exactly go easy on her in our HYDRA trainings.”

“You weren’t allowed to,” Steve said.

“It doesn’t matter,” Bucky said sullenly. “That’s what you don’t get Steve. We did horrible things to each other, we were forced to yeah, but we still did them. That doesn't just go away.”

Steve nodded; Bucky was right, that was one thing he’d never fully understand. Steve could separate Bucky from the Winter Solider with zero effort, but he had a history with Bucky. Their bond transcended everything else, even when Bucky had been brainwashed to kill him. Olivia and Bucky had been pinned against each other from the start, maybe their chance at anything resembling a friendship was long gone.

“Fair enough,” Steve said, giving his friend a gentle smile.

Bucky pursed his lips as he uncrossed his arms. He pushed out a long, low breath, averting his eyes from Steve’s. They didn’t like to disappoint each other. Finally, he brought he met Steve’s gaze.

“I’ll do my best with her,” he conceded, “that’s all I can give you.”

“That’s all I need."

“Punk,” Bucky mumbled as he turned to leave Steve’s office.

“So…are you going to go see her then?” Steve said with a small smirk. He couldn’t resist and Bucky would recognize it as a joke.

“Don’t push it Steve,” Bucky snorted. 

* * *

The instant Bucky left Steve’s office he felt the desperate need to visit Olivia. Truth was, he had felt it for the past five days, and yes, he knew exactly how many days it had been. He had spent the better part of the first few days beating himself up over the entire situation. Hearing Steve say that she didn’t blame him had been the happiest he’d been since Tony told him she’d survive the whole ordeal. He still wasn’t entirely sure if that was the truth or if Steve had just been trying to appeal to him. The only real way to know was to ask her directly, and Bucky didn’t think he was ready for that.

Olivia was furious with him, there was no doubt about it. He could feel her rage emanating from every part of the compound, it was almost inescapable. They had yet to find a limit to how far their connection would reach, he had after all been able to reach out to her across an ocean, but for the most part she’d left him alone on his runs. So, he went for a lot of runs. 

As he made his way back to his room from Steve's office, he pushed down a wave of her anger. He wanted to see her, make sure she was okay, tell her how sorry he was. On the other hand, he also wanted to pack his things and leave, never see her again. Perhaps if he hadn’t been subject to seventy years of brainwash, he’d be better equipped to handle the entire situation, he thought as he lay himself across his bed. Shuri may have brought him back, but there were still parts of him that he felt were lost forever. He didn’t have the capacity to manage Olivia’s feelings, he could barely do it for himself.

He wasn’t being fair to her, that much he knew. He hadn’t needed Steve to make that clear for him and he didn't need to feel Olivia's rage to know it. They had been deeply entwined during the mission. It had scared the hell out of him, but it almost felt like they could eventually be friends. He should have gone to see her, in reality he should have never left her. But he was terrified. Terrified of how terrified he'd been that he could lose her. Their relationship was messy, he didn't understand it, but seeing her nearly die in his arms had completely broken him. He released the remorse and guilt he’d been felling, impressing it upon her, hoping that it was enough to garner him at least some semblance of peace. Her anger subsided and was replaced with a softness; she would leave him alone. Bucky groaned sliding his hand across his forehead, she was often too easy on him and he didn’t deserve it.

It took him almost the entirety of the next day to work his way to see Olivia. He walked back and forth between the med wing and his room, to the kitchen, to the training room at least six different times. The run he took midday did little to ease his nerves. Finally, after he'd showered and tried to force down a little food, he made his way to her. Steve was there of course, Bucky knew he would be, he usually was. He was laying on his side, sprawled casually across the bottom of her bed, his head propped up in his hand. Olivia was laughing at something he said, and Bucky’s stomach lurched in a way he couldn’t understand. Neither had noticed him yet and he heavily considered leaving. He was about to back slowly out of the room when Olivia tore her eyes from Steve and rested them on Bucky. A small grin played at the corner of his lips. She may have let him off the hook last night, but she was still pissed; he could see it in her eyes.

“Oh, so you _are_ still here,” Olivia said tartly.

“And you’re still alive,” he retorted. “Which is...you know, great, and now that that’s all cleared up, I’ll just…head out.”

Her eyes narrowed sharply at him. Instead of leaving he leaned against the door frame, holding her stare. She still looked incredibly pale, which made his heart race with anxiety as his mind flashed back to his blood-soaked jacket. There were dark circles under her eyes too, but she looked infinitely better than she had the last time he’d seen her. He felt like he could breathe easier just looking at her.

“You know,” she said slowly, “Sam and I had a bet about when you’d come.”

“Oh yeah?” he asked. “Who won?”

“Sam,” she replied, “he gave you a week.”

Bucky could feel Steve’s eyes move back and forth between the two of them. He had shifted his position slightly.

“And how long did you give me?” he asked, ignoring Steve’s uncomfortable throat clearing.

“I said you wouldn’t come at all.”

She watched him with hard, determined eyes. Bucky’s jaw clenched; his eyes flitted to Steve. Steve made a loud, awkward laugh as pushed himself off the bed. Olivia’s attention diverted back to him and Bucky was off the hook for a brief second. As Steve turned towards him though, he realized that his friend wasn’t about to do him any favors. This one was on Bucky and Bucky alone; Steve was clear on that.

“Well, I have to go now, but I’ll see you later Liv,” he said, smiling brightly at her.

Neither Bucky nor Olivia had a chance to say goodbye to him as he made his swift exit. Bucky did however manage to get out a low growl as Steve pushed past him. Olivia’s focus was back on him. He licked his lips lightly, then grabbed a chair and pulled it up beside the foot of her bed. He kicked his feet up on the mattress. She glanced at his shoes, raising a disapproving eyebrow at him.

“I thought we were okay Tiny,” he said, “after last night.

She groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Barnes you can’t just use our connection to get out of actually apologizing for shit.”

He should have known her softness wouldn't last, it wasn't fair of him to assume it would. She had limits too, and he'd pushed too far this time. It felt like he was always pushing her just a little too far. Eventually she would break and tell him that he'd crossed a line, but he wished she would stop waiting so long. He didn't know the limits and people in general had become difficult for him to understand. None so much as Olivia, she was a complete unknown to him.

“I don’t know how to do this Olivia,” he said, shaking his head. “Maybe at one point I did, but I don’t anymore.”

“Do what? Be a decent human being?” Olivia said sharply. “Jesus Barnes, I don’t need us to be friends, I don’t need you to like me. But fuck, the entire ordeal was pretty traumatic, and you were the only person who could understand.”

“Clint was there,” Bucky mumbled. He knew it was the wrong thing to say, and as he said it, he wondered if he was subconsciously trying to sabotage their relationship on purpose.

“God, I wish I could storm out on you right now,” she said, dropping her head backwards in frustration.

“Steve and Tony want us to continue working together.”

“I know.”

“What do we do?”

She pulled her head up slowly. Her amber eyes met his, they were soft, but resolved. She was about to say something that he wasn’t going to like, he could feel it lingering on the tip of her tongue.

“We work together Barnes,” she shrugged. “I’m so pissed off at you and quite frankly you continue to be the most annoying person in my life, but the truth is I don’t trust anyone the way I trust you.”

“How kind,” Bucky said, giving her a sarcastic smile. “Stupid really, you trusted me last time and look where that got you.”

“Oh, stop it with that rhetoric Barnes,” Olivia chided, “this is my fault.” She gestured to her abdomen as she said the words. “You did everything in your power to keep me alive, so for the love of God stop blaming yourself.”

Her words were harsh, a sharp juxtaposition against the way she’d spoken to him while she was dying. The intent was the same though, no part of her believed it was his fault. Maybe he needed her to be hard on him because he was finally starting to believe it.

“You continue to be the most annoying person in my life as well,” Bucky said, “I just want you to know that.”

“Thanks,” Olivia said dryly. “Do you trust me though?”

“Yeah,” he nodded without any hesitation, “unfortunately I think I do.”

“So,” Olivia said slowly, “can we do this?”

“I won’t always be able to communicate properly.”

“I know.”

“You’re going to have to be patient with me.”

“No kidding.”

“And very straightforward. I need to use your words and our connection intentionally and explicitly.”

“Right,” she nodded, “you can barely work through your own shit, I can’t expect you to be able to decipher mine.”

“Okay and that,” Bucky said rolling his eyes at her, “knock that off. You have no idea how infuriating it is to have someone telling you things about yourself that you’re still working through.”

“Fair enough,” she said reluctantly, “my turn. I’m not a child.”

“Could have fooled me.”

“Barnes,” she warned.

“Okay, fine. I agree. You aren’t a child.”

“We keep Steve out of any disagreements we may have.”

It wasn’t an odd request, she was right, they couldn’t pit him against each other. He needed to remain neutral, and Bucky agreed. But he studied her for any signs of extra affection at his name. She seemed to regard Steve in the same manner as he did though.

“Agreed.”

“We don’t have to be friends. We don’t have to like each other. But we have to stop holding HYDRA against each other.”

Bucky sucked in a sharp breath. That was one he hadn’t been expecting.

“Olivia,” he breathed, “that’s a tall order.”

“I know,” she said. “I am so sorry for what I did to you Barnes, I’m sorry that I made this stupid connection and that I don’t know how to fix it. I thought Shuri would…I thought she did for a minute, anyway, I’m sorry.”

He opened his mouth and closed it, searching for the right words. She’d apologized before and he suspected she’d do it again. He knew it was an accident, he knew she had been trying to save him; she had saved him. Guilt washed over him. There was something he hadn’t told her, something he hadn’t told anyone. Shuri had been more than capable of removing the connection. As he lay on her med table, she would talk him through everything, revealing to him the trigger words and removing their programming. When she’d come across the part of his mind that was connected to Olivia’s, she studied it for days, fascinated by the strength and power it held. She could have removed it, reprogrammed that part of him. In the end though, he had told her to keep it intact. Olivia’s apology had forced him into the fierce realization that he’d made the choice for her too. He couldn’t tell her, not yet.

“I-uh, I’m not angry about our connection,” he said suddenly, “it’s proved incredibly useful and…it makes me feel-”

“Less alone,” Olivia interjected.

“Okay, Tiny, we _just_ talked about this,” Bucky laughed.

“Right, sorry,” she groaned.

“Bottom line, you’re right,” he sighed, “it’s not going to be easy. It’s not going to happen overnight, but we have to forgive each other for the things HYDRA made us do.”

They stared at each other for a few brief moments. Olivia’s mouth turned at the corners into a soft smile and Bucky’s stomach ached again, in the same indiscernible way. He ignored it; it didn’t need acknowledging.

“That wasn’t so hard was it?” she asked.

“On the contrary,” he said, standing, “it was absolute torture. You’re very obnoxious and I am not looking forward to our partnership.”

“You’re the worst,” Olivia said with a soft laugh.

She leaned back lazily against her pillows. He hadn’t realized how exhausted she looked until now. Her eyes closed, but the small smile remained.

“See you later Barnes," she mumbled. 

“Oh, I’m coming back,” he said. Her eyes snapped open and she stared at him glaringly. “Yeah, I was just going to grab a book because I genuinely can’t stand talking to you.”

“So sweet but you really don’t have to do that,” she said flatly.

“Just making up for not coming sooner,” he grinned.

“Barnes seriously, I’m just going to be sleeping,” she said wearily.

“Well that’s actually what the book his for,” he said.

“You’re so weird,” Olivia grumbled.

"If you want to be alone, I will leave you alone," he said, dropping his teasing tone.

"No," she said quickly, "I mean...you should stay. As...you know, punishment for not coming in the first place."

"Okay Tiny," Bucky chuckled, "I'll be back then."

He tried to ignore his irregular heartbeat that had started the minute she'd asked him to stay. It was nothing, just excitement over her forgiveness and that was it. An image of Steve, grinning knowingly flashed in his mind, but he shook his head at it, ignoring that too. Instead, as he made his way to his room to grab a book, then back to her side, he focused hard on just how annoying Olivia was. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for continuing to read! You're all the best with the amazing comments! I hope you enjoy this fluffy little chapter, I seriously could have written Steve and Bucky talking for forever. It was very fun to write. :) Don't hesitate to leave any helpful tips, thoughts, or ideas! I love hearing your feedback!


	22. Maybe You Should Date Too

It had become widely regarded throughout the compound, that Bucky Barnes, was without a doubt, the best cook in the building. Whenever he was in the kitchen, at least four or five of his teammates would casually show up as well. He had stopped asking if they were hungry, instead he assumed the answer was 'yes' and just made extra. It amused him that they thought they were being slick, and it felt nice to be helpful in some small way, so he kept it to himself that he knew exactly what they were doing. 

Bucky hadn’t decided what he was making yet, slowly pulling out ingredients from the cupboards and refrigerator that Tony had kept well stocked now that someone was actively using them. Sam, who had been the first to notice Bucky in the kitchen, was sitting at the counter, scrolling through his phone. He had of course, sent out a group text, notifying Nat, Wanda, and Clint that Barnes was in the kitchen. Natasha had told Tony, and Tony had let Rhodey know. No one told Olivia, because for the most part Bucky and Olivia avoided each other unless they were training. Plus, Tony was convinced that she would ruin it for them, so he had sworn them all to secrecy. 

Wanda sat at the counter with Sam, reading a book and sipping tea. Natasha, Rhodey, and Tony were playing cards, mixing up the game every now and again. Clint was perched on the counter, looking at his own phone and sending pictures he found funny to Sam.

“Man, I am sitting right next to you,” Sam said, accepting the fourth picture in two minutes.

“Yeah,” said Clint, “but now you have them forever. You’re welcome.”

Bucky turned to face them; an eyebrow raised. Natasha dashed a glare up to Clint and Sam, who went quickly back to their phones.

“Are you all hungry?” Bucky asked, narrowing his eyes as he glanced around the room. Sometimes he enjoyed messing with them.

He was met with a chorus of various forms of “yes”. Nodding his head slowly, he turned back towards his ingredients. Olivia breezed into the kitchen, pausing slightly to take in six of her teammates sitting around, poorly pretending to be distracted by other things as they waited for Bucky to feed them. She shook her head and snorted slightly. This wasn’t the first time she’d caught them doing this. She knew Bucky enjoyed the attention though, and since he so rarely asked for it, she kept quiet for his sake. 

Silently, she walked past them, to the pie she’d left cooling. She’d been baking again, although much less often this time around. It was a known fact that while Bucky was the best cook, Olivia was the best baker. With such a long hiatus from her baked goods, the team was over the moon when she started up again. There was just one problem; and that problem was Bucky.

Sam let out a listless sigh as she cut a slice from the pan and put it on a plate. He knew where this was going; they all did. She took her fork and cut a small, bite sized piece off the end, walking it over to Bucky. He glanced down at her, then took the bite she was offering to him. She watched patiently as he chewed, considered her for a moment; she held her breath as he opened his mouth to speak.

“The crust is too flaky,” he said, turning his back on her.

Clint and Sam both groaned. Tony hit the palm of his hand to his forehead, while Rhodey sighed and bent his head in disappointment. If Natasha weren’t about to get a delicious meal out of Bucky, she probably would have decked him.

Olivia pressed her lips together, her head bobbing up and down slightly. She turned away from him and tossed the fork into the sink as she passed it. She glanced down at her pie, then picked it up, carried it to the trash and dumped it as Clint cried out in protest.

“You don’t have to throw it away every time Liv,” Wanda smirked, her eyes still on her book.

No one understood why Olivia chose Bucky to taste her sweets, or why she took his opinion so seriously. Nevertheless, she did, and he always, without fail, gave her at least on critique, resulting in her throwing away whatever she had made. Last week she’d chucked an entire batch of cookies in the trash before anyone else could try one. Their offense; too many chocolate chips. It wasn’t always like this of course; if Bucky wasn’t around to taste when she’d finished, the others could swoop in and have some before he was able to try. Eventually though, he'd find her treats, make a comment, and without fail, they would immediately end up in the trash.

“Seriously Harrington,” Sam said shaking his head, “he doesn’t know shit. Your baked goods are immaculate.”

“Well obviously they aren’t,” she said tartly.

The corner of Bucky’s mouth turned up as Olivia began fervently washing the pie dish. Tony stood slowly and stood behind Olivia. He reached around her and took the dish from her hand, placing it gently in the sink.

“Olive,” he began, “you know Barnes is messing with you right?”

Olivia scoffed, and turned to Bucky with a hand on her hip. “No,” she said, shaking her head, “he wouldn’t…would you Barnes.”

Bucky didn’t look up as he finished cutting up his onions. He dumped the pile in a pan on the stove, still avoiding her gaze. He reached for a wooden stirring spoon, but Olivia cut him off, grabbing it first. He sighed, finally looking down at her, a small smile across his lips. Her eyes narrowed at him and he gave her the slightest of shrugs, indicating that Tony’s words weren’t entirely inaccurate. She gasped loudly, backing away from him.

“Oh come on Tiny, do you really think a chocolate chip cookie could have _too_ many chocolate chips?” he asked.

“I’ve been busting my ass and you have been making shit up to mess with me?” she accused, hitting him in the arm with the wooden spoon.

“Ow, shit! Okay! I’m sorry!”

“Ooh you are such a dick,” she fumed, scowling at him.

She moved to hit him with the spoon again, this time he caught it and pulled it easily out of her grasp. A guttural, growling noise escaped her; Bucky couldn’t hold back his laugh.

“Why do you care so much about what I think anyway?” he asked, turning back to his onions.

“Because,” Olivia said furiously.

“Oh okay, got it,” Bucky smirked.

“I really hate you Barnes,” she seethed.

Olivia turned on her heel and stormed out of the kitchen. Bucky sighed, dropping his head back. He turned away from the stove, to face six pairs of eyes surveying him with varying expressions. He liked Nat’s reproachful look the least.

“I just want to know your thought process Barnes,” Sam said, his eyes flickering with amusement. “Don’t get me wrong, I love messing with Liv, but you in particular are a damn fool for doing it.”

“I didn’t have a thought process, Wilson,” Bucky growled.

“No that much is clear,” Rhodey laughed.

“Okay well I didn’t realize she had been trying so hard to impress me specifically,” Bucky said, defending himself poorly.

“I once told her that a batch of cupcakes she made were too dry and she told me to ‘suck it’,” Tony said, raising an eyebrow.

“You better fix this Barnes,” Natasha said, “she’s already having a rough night.”

“What? Why?” he asked.

“Figure it out,” Natasha shrugged.

Bucky glanced around the room. No one else seemed to have any insight for him. Sam actually shook his head, seemingly just as confused as he was. Bucky sighed, and removed the dish towel from his shoulder.

“Here,” Bucky said, handing the wooden spoon to Clint.

“Wh-what am I supposed to do this?” he spluttered.

“Make dinner,” Bucky said, waving a hand vaguely at the mess of ingredients he’d pulled out.

“I don’t even know what you were making?” he said in protest. He stared wide-eyed at the mess of ingredients that Bucky had haphazardly laid out.

“I didn't even know what I was making yet,” Bucky replied with a shrug.

“Well, I’m out,” Tony said standing, “I’m going to take Pep out for dinner, Rhodey would you like to join us?”

“You know I would,” he said.

“I’m out too,” Wanda sighed, “Viz wanted to explore the city tonight anyway.”

“Ooh the city, that sounds fun,” Sam beamed. “Clint you in?”

“Absolutely…Nat?”

“I don’t think we were invited boys,” Natasha said, smirking at Wanda’s wide eyes.

“They don’t own Manhattan,” said Clint.

“I’ll keep them out of your hair,” Nat winked at Wanda.

Bucky started out of the kitchen, then paused turning back to Tony. “We’re going to have to negotiate a pay raise if all of you expect me to cook every meal for you.”

“We have no idea what you’re talking about,” Rhodey said with a shake of his head.

“Right,” Tony nodded, “we just all happen to be here while you’re cooking.”

“Happy coincidence. That’s all,” Sam added.

“Pay raise Stark,” Bucky said as he turned his back on them to leave.

* * *

Olivia was fine, she was completely okay. It didn’t matter that Barnes had tortured her for weeks with seemingly inconsequential critiques of her baked goods for the fun of it. It didn’t actually bother her all that much, she expected things like this from him. After all, she wasn’t innocent of evoking her own subtle psychological warfare. The problem was that she had been on edge all day, and when the evening rolled around, she felt as though she would completely break. Bucky's admission was just the tipping point.

She picked up a throwing knife from a small pile on her desk, then chucked firmly at the target on the other side of her room. It stuck firmly into the wall, missing all rings of the target completely. Tony still wasn’t aware that she had been using one of her bedroom walls for target practice. He was going to be pissed, but she’d deal with it to avoid practicing in the training room.

“Are you picturing my face?”

Olivia didn’t jump, although he had surprised her. She had gotten used to her sneaking up on him. He was so quiet when he wanted to be, which was almost always as he hated drawing attention to himself. His lack of confidence was jarring to Olivia; she thought he was absolutely brilliant. She wasn’t the only one to notice it either. Once he was comfortable enough to let his hard-exterior fall, he charmed everyone around him. He was still an asshole though. A brilliant asshole, who shockingly, had a way with people when he wanted to, just not Olivia.

“No Barnes, but that’s a good idea,” she replied, “maybe I’d actually hit the target if I pictured your face behind it.”

He chuckled lightly behind her. She picked up another knife and heaved it through the air. This time it landed directly in the center of the bullseye. She turned to him, with a tight smile.

“Hey look it worked!” she said brightly.

She walked to the bullseye and pulled out the knives. As she turned to walk back, she took him in. He was leaning causally against her door frame, his arms crossed over his chest. He’d pushed up the sleeves of his shirt so that his forearms were exposed; he’d left his hair down and untouched. An easy, nonchalant grin was spread across his face as he watched her. It infuriated her how good he looked.

“Did you follow me up here for a reason or are you just going to stand in my doorway with that dorky grin for the rest of the evening?” she asked. Insulting him made for an exceptional distraction from his good looks.

“Well you left in such a hurry and-” he started. He paused, his eyes lingering on her piled of knives. “Are those mine?”

“Hmm?” she hummed.

He moved out of the doorway and slowly into her room. She shifted her body, positioning herself between him and the knives. His hands rested lightly on her shoulders and he pushed her lightly to the side. He picked up two of them, the two that she knew he had been looking for, for the past couple of weeks. The ones that Olivia had stolen from him after one particularly frustrating training session. He’d been teaching her how to throw knives and made an offhand comment about how difficult it was and that he understood if it took her a while. Deep down Olivia knew that his intention was not to condescend her, he always showed her extreme respect. She had just been so annoyed with him and his superior knife throwing skills, so she took them. Admittedly there was quite a bit of guilt in the following days as he frantically searched for them, but it gradually dissipated with every obnoxious comment he made. And after his revelation in the kitchen, the guilt had disappeared completely.

“I have been looking everywhere for these Olivia,” he said, pointing them at her.

“I am aware,” she said, popping her hip out and placing her hand on it.

His lips parted as he let out a short, sardonic laugh. He raked a hand through his hair, an indication that he was trying to control his annoyance. He did this a lot around Olivia.

“You are so infuriating,” he whispered sharply.

“Hilarious coming from you,” Olivia rolled her eyes.

“Just…why?” he asked, indicating to his knives.

“You said it would take me a while to get the hang of it and I wanted to practice,” she shrugged.

“You have these ones!” he protested.

Olivia followed his hand down to her desk. There were indeed three others that had been provided by Tony for the team’s use, plus one more that was her personal one.

“Yeah but yours are better.”

“Mine are better,” he repeated, nodding his head furiously. He scoffed, then licked his bottom lip. “I am taking these back.”

“Fine,” Olivia said, folding her arms across her chest. “Thanks for stopping by, it’s been a real delight.”

Inexplicable tears had started to pool in her eyes, and she couldn’t afford him noticing. She grabbed another knife, and threw it hard, ignoring the knot in her stomach. He sighed behind her and while he could have slipped out quietly without her noticing, he didn’t.

“I’m sorry,” he said gently.

“I don’t know why.”

She chucked another dagger at the bullseye. It hit outside of the rings and she let out a frustrated cry, then reached for another. He reached down and placed his hand on hers, cutting off her reach. His touch sent a wave of concern through her.

“I’m fine,” she assured him.

“Olivia you’re crying.”

“Fuck,” she muttered. Her hand flew to her cheek, wiping away the moisture from her skin. “I’m not…this isn’t your fault,” she said quickly.

“Good to know,” he said as he took a seat at the edge of her bed. “All the same, I really do feel like shit about your pie.”

“Just the pie then? Not the dozens of other baked goods that I’ve trashed in the past few weeks because of you?” Olivia said with a laugh.

“Yeah no, just the pie.”

Finally, she turned to face him. He smiled at her and gave her wink. She rolled her eyes and grumbled, but a small smile escaped her lips too. His stupid smile and dumb joke had made her feel better for a brief moment; she couldn't deny it. 

“I don’t know why my opinion on your baked goods matter so much to you,” he said.

“It’s just…you’re the only one who never complimented them,” Olivia mumbled.

“That’s what this whole thing was about?” Bucky asked, trying to hold back a smile.

“Yes Barnes. You wounded my pride by eating a cookie and not telling me how amazing it was, so in an effort to hear you praise my baking, I made you an ungodly amount of deserts.”

Bucky snorted and Olivia scowled at him.

“I’m sorry Tiny, but that’s just…very funny,” he said, not sounding sorry in the slightest.

It was so easy for him to brighten her mood, make her feel better when she was feeling down. It was just as easy, maybe even easier, for him to bring her right back around to be pissed off. He drove her absolutely crazy, there was no doubt about that. 

“Okay, you’ve got your knives and your amusement for the night,” Olivia grunted, “so it’d be great if you could…you know…go away now.”

“Your desserts are incredible Olivia, but you know that,” Bucky said, sprawling backwards onto her bed. He propped his head up against her pillows and smiled up at her.

“Thanks. What the fuck are you doing?”

“Getting comfortable,” he replied. “Downstairs Natasha mentioned something about you having a rough night. I didn’t understand why, but I think I’ve figured it out.”

“She what?” Olivia hissed.

"Mentioned you were having a rough night. I'm assuming it has something to do with Steve going on a date with Sharon. Come to think of it, you've been tense since he told us about it."

"Natasha has no idea what she's talking about and neither do you. I don't care about Steve's stupid date and I am fine."

"Clearly."

"I am Barnes. So you can leave."

“As your partner on the field, it’s my job to make sure you’re okay off the field.”

“It’s really…not. And I am okay.”

“Regardless, I’m staying.”

“Barnes,” Olivia grumbled, “do you really think you’re the first…or even fifth or sixth person I’d want to spend my evening with?”

“I’m the last person you want to spend your evening with, I know,” he nodded, “but everyone else left and I really don’t think you need to be alone right now.”

“They…left?” Olivia breathed.

“Yes, once they realized I wasn’t going to be providing them with dinner they left,” Bucky replied.

“Well, whatever, I’m fine,” Olivia said with a shake of her head.

“You aren’t. Although, I have to admit I’m not entirely sure why you're upset. I thought you weren’t in love with Steve,” he said, rotating one of his knives between his fingers.

“Oh my god, you have to leave,” Olivia groaned, “I mean it, otherwise one of these might become lodged in your pretty face and I’ll be fired for sure.”

“Maybe not,” Bucky shrugged, “Tony likes you better than me. You think my face is pretty? Let’s circle back to that.”

“Who are you?” Olivia asked breathlessly.

Bucky was usually reserved, stoic, and could often be pretty ruthless with his words, whether he intended to be or not. Sometimes though, he would get into moods like the one he was in now, easy going and playful. Olivia had seen it mostly with Steve, occasionally with Sam. She saw glimpses of it with the others, but rarely ever with her. She imagined these moments were the closest she’d ever get to seeing what he’d been like before he was the Winter Soldier.

He shrugged at her and gave her a small smile. It made her stomach flip. For a brief moment she was hyper aware of how alone they were. Not only in her room, but in the entire compound. Her stomach ached as she watched him, laying casually in her bed. 

"So...Steve," he said slowly.

“The situation is complicated remember?” Olivia said, steering her mind away from Bucky.

“Yeah,” he nodded, “I remember. I just thought we’d sorted it out that night.”

“You mean the night that I threw up in the bushes and woke up with the worst hangover of my life?” she asked.

“Fair,” he laughed.

“I want him to be happy,” she said, sitting at the edge of her bed. “I just have this weird, lingering feeling of regret in my stomach. Even knowing how mismatched we would have been. How unhappy we would have made each other. It's hard watching him move on, even if it's what I want for him and know he should. I just...”

“Wish you could have been the one to make him happy,” Bucky said, sitting up to face her.

“Oh, you’re right,” Olivia breathed, “that is super annoying.”

“I told you,” he grinned.

There was a shift in his eyes and Olivia knew she’d lost the playful Bucky from moments ago. She wasn't sure when she'd lost him, but he was no longer as relaxed as he'd been a moment ago. The playful glint had vanished from his eyes. He was back to his hard-shelled self; she felt a tinge of remorse at losing that part of him. 

He was watching her, a strange look on his face. Something lingered on the tip of his tongue, but he refrained from speaking. A few times he opened his mouth, then he'd close it and shake his head, apparently changing his mind on what he had to say.

"What is it Barnes?" she asked finally.

“I was just thinking that...maybe you should date too,” he said slowly. 

Olivia’s heart sunk into her stomach. The words coming from Bucky’s mouth infuriated her, although she knew he meant well. Her face was hot, and her throat burned as she tried to ignore the crying that threatened to start up again.

“Oh, I didn’t mean that,” Bucky said quickly, taking in her facial expression. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean it.”

“It’s fine Barnes,” Olivia said. As the words left her mouth, so did the tears. She pressed her palm to her cheek. “I don’t know why I’m crying,” she said, frustrated with herself.

He watched her, with sad, apologetic eyes. She turned away from him, the only way to regain her composure. Her shoulders shook slightly, as she tried to steady her breathing.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry.” He sounded like he hated himself through each and every word. She didn’t turn to face him, afraid that his face would send her into another bout of tears.

“I’m fine Bucky,” she said weakly. “You didn’t make me cry. I just...it’s been a day. Besides…who would I date anyway,” she added with a sad laugh.

He was quiet. Olivia thought she could feel him wanting to say something. He stayed quiet though and she figured it was her own imagination. A small laugh escaped her lips; what would he have said anyway? That she should date him? Did she even want him to say that? It didn’t matter, he never would. They were less than friends, only slightly more than enemies. Plus, Steve was his best friend. Even if he didn’t know the entire situation, the complications from her relationship with Steve would crop up eventually. The entire thing would be a mess. She shook her head, slightly. No, she absolutely didn’t want him to say that. The unusual aching in her stomach returned though, this time it was harder to ignore.

“Let me make you dinner,” he offered gently.

“No,” she said shaking her head, “I think I need to be alone.”

She heard Bucky move behind her, but still didn’t think she had it in her to face him. He leaned in slowly and pressed his forehead against her shoulder, lingering there for a few long moments. He only ever touched her out of necessity, so this bit of physical contact was disorienting. She didn’t know what it meant. When it ended and he’d finally disappeared silently from her room, her shoulder tingled, and her stomach ached.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! Hope you all enjoyed the update! :)  
> Please don't hesitate to leave feedback, I love the comments!


	23. A Date and A Lie

Bucky sat on the sofa in the entertainment room, Sam in the corner of the sofa, Clint sprawled out across the floor. They were playing Mario Kart and Bucky, for the first time in weeks was in first place. It wasn’t uncommon to find the three young men in this exact position on a Saturday night, assuming they were all on the compound at the same time. Sam and Clint had taken Bucky on as their personal project, bringing him up to date with all of the movies he’d missed and a thorough education of video games.

Bucky appreciated their efforts, even if he didn’t always understand their movie choices or why video games were anyone’s preferred choice of entertainment. Plus, after all the shit he’d put Sam through, he was just grateful the guy had given him a second chance. It was still early in the evening, but they’d already been playing for over an hour. Another round or two and they’d switch over to a movie, something called Star Wars, which they’d been trying to get him to watch for weeks.

“Oh, so close Barnes!” Sam whooped as he took the lead from Bucky in their last lap.

“Fuck,” Bucky groaned. He resisted the urge to throw the controller he was holding; the last time he’d done that, it had gone straight through the television and Tony wasn’t too pleased.

“Don’t stress Champ, you’ll get him some day,” Clint said, turning to grin at him.

“Stop calling me Champ,” Bucky grunted.

Their attention was pulled away from each other and their game as Olivia bounced down the stairs and breezed past them to the kitchen. The three men glanced around at each other as she huffed about loudly, slamming drawers and shuffling things about. Tony, who sat at the kitchen table eyed her from his cup of coffee but made no attempt to engage.

“Have any of you seen my keys?” she about howled, aggressively turning on them.

“Keys?” Bucky asked, blinking dumbly at her.

“Yes Barnes, keys,” she replied, “they make my car go.”

Tony grinned to himself, again making no effort to engage her. Sam snickered into his hand. He swallowed his laugh and bit back his smile as Bucky glared over at him. Bucky stood, leaving his friends behind him in the entertainment room to stand in the kitchen’s entry way. Olivia stared at him with a hand on her hip. He hadn’t noticed it before, but she was dressed up in a dark blue dress that hugged her curves and stopped just above her knees. She had pulled her long dark curls half up, the rest falling loosely around her shoulders. In an attempt to look taller, she’d worn black heels that hardly helped her cause.

“What’s this?” Bucky asked, gesturing to her getup. “Why are you all dolled up?”

She sighed, shoving an earring into her pierced ear, “I have a date Barnes, in the city, and I need my keys otherwise I’ll be late.”

Bucky watched her, feeling like he’d been punched in the gut. Of all the things he’d expected her to say, that was not one of them. Tony held his mug to his lips, his eyes trailing back and forth between them. Bucky could feel Sam and Clint’s eyes on him too, but he was unable to focus anything other than Olivia.

“A date?” he asked.

“Yes,” she nodded, “so have you seen my keys or?”

“I-uh…no,” he admitted. “You’re going on a date.” He heard how stupid he sounded, but he just needed to confirm; he needed to hear her say it again.

“Yes Barnes…a date,” she said slowly. “It was your idea remember?” she added with a shrug.

Tony spluttered into his coffee. He set the mug down and interlocked his fingers beneath his chin. A sharp laughed escaped Bucky’s lips.

“Yes,” he nodded, “my idea. Right. Yes. It was my idea that you date.”

“Yeah,” she said, narrowing her eyes at him, “what exactly is your problem?”

“Nothing,” he said, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I guess I’m just having a hard time wrapping my head around the idea of you are actually taking a bit of my advice.”

“Well if it makes you feel any better this is probably a onetime thing,” she sneered.

“The date?”

“No. The taking your advice part.”

She turned away from him and began searching the kitchen again, then slowly made her way into the entertainment room. Sam hopped off the couch as she dug through the cushions. Bucky trailed awkwardly behind her, still ignoring the three sets of eyes that followed him and Olivia.

“It’s just…” he said abruptly, “you said you didn’t have anyone to date.”

“Yeah, well, it turns out I do,” she sighed distractedly. “This guy I met at Tony’s party…you know, when you weren’t following me around.”

Tony smiled weakly as Bucky snapped his head over to look at him. Olivia let out an annoyed growl and Bucky turned back around to see Clint still lying beneath her, holding up her keys. She snatched them out of his hands and stepped over him.

“I’m sorry,” Clint insisted, “I forgot that I had found them. I mean to be fair, you’re the one who leaves them all over the place.”

"I wasn't following you around," Bucky mumbled mildly.

“Sure," she nodded at him. "Okay bye now,” she said, as she started out of the room.

Bucky countered her, blocking her exit. She glared up at him; he noticed she’d covered up her freckles with makeup. He couldn’t understand why.

“Barnes, I do not have time for whatever this is,” Olivia said sharply.

“You’re going to drive your old, beat up car across the Hudson?” Bucky asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow. “There’s no way you make it.”

“My Bug is not old, it’s vintage,” she retorted.

“It’s old,” Tony said, finally speaking, “I told you I’d help you get a better one.”

“Stay out of this Stark,” Olivia barked. “Barnes, I’ve driven that car into the city multiple times, it’s fine. I will be fine.”

“Shouldn’t he be picking you up? What kind of guy doesn’t pick up his date?” Bucky scoffed.

“He can’t exactly come here Barnes,” Olivia said through gritted teeth.

“Fine,” Bucky sighed, running his hand through his hair, “but shouldn’t Stark do some sort of background check on him before you go? I mean what if he’s HYDRA or someone else who is trying to murder you?”

“He’s probably right Olive,” Tony muttered. He raised his hands in defense when she turned to glare at him.

“Shut up Stark,” she snapped. She turned back to Bucky and looked up at him, her eyes set, “Barnes, I’m leaving. Wait up if it’ll make you feel better.”

He clenched his jaw as she pushed past him. They all watched as she stormed out of the room, Tony’s eyes widening as they heard Olivia slam the door.

“You told her to date?” Tony was the first to break the silence.

“I guess so, kind of,” Bucky said shortly. “She was down about Steve’s date with Sharon and I might have lightly suggested that she also start dating again.”

“Oh,” Tony nodded, “and, I’m just wondering out loud here, but what exactly made you 'lightly' suggest it?”

“I don’t know what you’re what talking about Stark,” Bucky said, returning to the entertainment room, “I suggested it because I thought it would make her feel better.”

“Are you stupid?” Sam asked, looking over at him incredulously as he took his seat.

“What?”

“It’s just,” Clint said, sitting up, “you obviously don't want her to go on this date, so I think we’re all just wondering why you suggested it in the first place. Unless of course you were suggesting she date you.”

Bucky laughed until he realized that none of the others were laughing with him. They were serious; Sam raised an eyebrow at him. So, Steve wasn’t the only one who thought he had feelings for Olivia. He wondered how and at what point he’d given off that vibe.

“You're way off base,” Bucky said. “She can do whatever she wants with whomever she wants. I was simply voicing my concerns over that piece of junk that she drives.”

He tossed himself back onto the sofa and picked up the controller again. The three other men glanced around at each other, silently agreeing to move on from the discussion. No one brought it up again. They pretended to ignore every time Bucky checked his phone, or the way he obsessively watched the clock. When Sam and Clint got up to go to bed hours later, neither asked if Bucky was coming too. They didn’t mention the fact that it was nearing one in the morning at that Olivia still hadn’t made it back.

When Olivia finally did roll in at half-past two, Bucky felt like he could breath again. He stood up to head her off in the kitchen and the sight of her rendered him breathless again. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t noticed how amazing she looked before, because he had, he’d just ignored it. That wasn’t why he felt as though the wind had been knocked out of him though, that came from the slight smile she had across her face. He took it as an indication that the date had gone well.

“Good time then?” he asked, trying to sound as nonchalant as he possibly could.

She jumped; her hand flew to her chest and she tried to steady her breathing. A deadpanned expression fell across her face, for a brief moment he was frustrated that this was the reaction he gave her and not the smile he’d just seen spread across her lips.

“You scared the shit out of me Barnes,” she sighed sharply.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

She raised a questioning eyebrow at him as she took him in. “Did you actually wait up?”

“No, of course not,” he said with a shake of his head. “I just…couldn’t sleep.”

“Right,” she nodded. “Okay well…I’m going to go to bed.”

As she breezed past him, he caught a whiff of her perfume, he hadn’t noticed it before. It was soft, flowery, completely artificial. He preferred the way she smelled without it.

“Wait,” he said quickly.

“What?” she groaned as she turned to face him.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

Her eyes lingered on his, a new expression fell across her face; one he couldn’t distinguish. A long, uneven breath escaped her lips as she pulled the pin holding her hair up out. She shook her head slightly, releasing her curls.

“Can we do this tomorrow Barnes?”

“Do what?”

“You pretending to be interested in my date, me telling you about it, you finding some way to turn the whole thing into an argument,” she replied, “you know…this.” Her hand gestured between herself and Bucky. This, the two of them, their pattern of banter. 

“I-uh, I’m not pretending,” was all he could think of to say.

“Okay, well it was great,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. “It went a lot better than I expected and I’m seeing him again next Sunday for brunch.”

“You can’t, you have physical therapy Sunday mornings,” Bucky said.

“I’ll reschedule,” she shrugged.

“Olivia you can’t just skip sessions,” he said harshly. “If you don’t take care of that wound it will affect you for the rest of your life. Don’t think I don’t see you wince in pain throughout our training sessions.”

She was glaring at him now, her shoulders rising and falling unevenly as anger pulsed through her. He faltered slightly as he waited for her to blow up at him.

“I’m tired Barnes,” she said through gritted teeth. “Right now, I’m going to go to bed and next Sunday, I’m going to meet Wesley for brunch.”

“Wesley?” Bucky scoffed. “Sounds pretentious.”

He hated himself for proving her right, but he couldn’t stop the words spewing from his mouth. A sharp, angry laugh escaped her lips.

“You must be tired too if that’s the best you’ve got,” she said coolly. “Goodnight Barnes.”

She turned away from him and started up the staircase.

“Stark should still do a background check!” Bucky called after her.

“Goodnight Barnes,” she said again, with a wave of her hand.

* * *

One Month Later

Bucky stood with his back leaned up against the concrete wall that partitioned the sandy beach from the road. He stared out onto the crowded street, casually keeping his eye on two men across the street. It was a pleasant day; warm enough that Olivia could be comfortable in a bright yellow sundress but just breezy enough that Bucky could wear a light hoody without getting too many stares. Olivia was sitting on the concrete wall, her back to him, pretending to take pictures of the ocean. Really, she was keeping her eye on another young man.

One of the men Bucky had been watching was approached by a group of three other men, they wandered off towards the beach together and Bucky knew that wasn’t his target. A little girl with curly blonde pigtails squealed as she ran up to the other guy Bucky had been watching. He laughed as he picked her up in his arms, then leaned in to kiss the cheek of the woman who Bucky assumed was her mother. He sighed and looked over at Olivia, hoping she was having better luck.

In the past month, they’d had a total of two, maybe three conversations. Any other time they spoke had been more of a screaming match than anything else. It had gotten to the point where Steve, Tony, and the others actively intervened to keep them apart. Natasha had a mission though, and despite their constant fighting, they still worked well together; so she added them to her team and dragged them to California.

Olivia made a small grunting noise beside him, then turned her body around to face the street, her feet dangled in front of her. She held her camera up, taking a few shots of the beach goers, riding their bikes and walking their dogs.

“No luck?” Bucky asked her.

“His boyfriend showed up,” Olivia replied.

“How do you know it was his boyfriend?” Bucky asked.

Olivia scoffed lightly, then reached up to grab Bucky’s chin in her hand. She turned his head towards the beach, bringing his attention to two young men holding each other as they watched the sunset. Bucky smirked and nodded. He was still getting used to these kinds of displays of affection. They didn’t bother him if anything it pleased him to see people allowed to be themselves. It still took some getting used to.

“Looks like boyfriends to me,” Bucky said. “Speaking of boyfriends, how’s yours?” he asked, trying to sound disinterested.

“My boyfriend? What are you talking about?”

“Wesley?”

“Wesley is not my boyfriend,” Olivia scoffed. “We went on a total of three dates. Turns out he already had a girlfriend; Tony’s background checks leave little to the imagination.”

“Oh shit,” Bucky sighed. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have put that idea in his head.”

“Uh, no, I’m glad you did,” Olivia replied, “he was dating another person Barnes. Not really what I'm looking for.”

“Yeah, you're right,” Bucky nodded.

A small smile formed across her lips. He smiled too, it was rare these days that anything he did or said brought a smile to her face. She turned back towards this ocean, this time leaning her stomach against the concrete wall and he watched as she took a few pictures of the couple, then of the sun slowly going down. A knot formed in his stomach as he watched her. Her dark curls were perfectly suited for the beach wind, they danced easily in the salty breeze. Her yellow dress flitted around just above her knees. She looked beautiful in the light from the setting sun. 

He wanted to say something nice to her, but he couldn’t find the words, so instead he said, “Your dress is too short”, and instantly regretted it.

“Excuse me?” she asked looking up at him.

“If a breeze hits you the wrong way your thigh holster could be exposed and we’d be compromised,” he shrugged. It was too late to take the words back, he might as well press on.

“We’re at the beach Barnes,” Olivia said flatly, “I’m dressed appropriately for the beach. And you don’t have to worry about my thigh holster.”

She stared at him, furious that he of all people had the audacity to say anything about her choice of clothing. The man was literally wearing a black hoodie, hood up no less, on a sunny Southern California beach. He’d managed to find a pair of tan shorts, which had taken Olivia completely by surprise, but even then, he’d chosen high top red converse instead of footwear that was a little more beach friendly. Still, he somehow managed to look effortless. She knew he was uncomfortable; he kept his vibranium hand hidden in his jacket pocket and twitched ever so slightly whenever someone looked his way. They were always looks of intrigue and interest though, not that he knew that, or would even believe her if she told him.

His eyes went soft under her gaze, and he sighed, running his free hand through his hair, letting his hood fall off as he did so. It made her furious that anyone who dared to dress so stupidly at the beach could also pull it off with such ease. She raised her camera up to him and snapped a picture before he could put his hand over the lens in protest.

“Say cheese Buck,” she grinned.

“We’re on a mission Tiny,” he said with an exasperated laugh.

“Yeah,” she said, dodging him to snap another, “we’re supposed to be pretending to be tourists.”

“Well, then let me take one of you,” he said reaching for her camera.

“Hold on,” she snapped, putting her hand out. She flipped through the pictures of him that. “Oh,” she breathed, pausing on one she’d caught of him in the middle of a laugh.

“What?” he asked leaning over her shoulder to look. “It’s just me…laughing, I look like an idiot,” he said raising an eyebrow at her.

She shook her head absentmindedly, her eyes still focused on the photograph. He in fact, did not look like an idiot, not in the slightest. The smile across his face was easy, nonchalant. It traveled up into his eyes, they crinkled with delight. She’d caught Bucky in a rare moment of absolute happiness, something she’d seen only fleetingly. Suddenly this picture had become the most important picture she’d ever taken.

“Okay Tiny my turn,” he said, taking the camera from her.

“Be careful Barnes!”

“I think I can handle a camera Olivia,” he laughed.

She narrowed her eyes at him. He was in one of his rare playful moods. Olivia knew they were on a mission and they were supposed to be focused, but she was taking so much joy in seeing him like this and she couldn’t risk losing it just yet.

“You should like…smile or something,” he said, smirking at her cocked head and her hand resting on her hip. “Okay not like that,” he chuckled as she gave him a cheesy fake smile.

“Alright you’re done,” Olivia said, reaching out for her camera.

“Oh no, not yet,” he said as he pulled the camera out of her reach.

“You’re such an idiot,” Olivia laughed, shaking her head.

She caved, giving him a few silly poses. There was absolutely no refusing the smile that spread across his face. He was laughing easily with her for the first time ever and she was absolutely basking in it. She watched him as he looked down at the photos he’d just taken, the smile still planted firmly across his lips. The urge to read him tugged at her, but she wouldn’t disrespect his boundaries like that.

“Let me see,” she said, moving to stand next to him. “I look so stupid.”

“No,” he said with a shake of his head. "You look beautiful Tiny."

She looked up at him, her eyes wide, but he was too focused on the pictures to notice. Her lips turned upwards lightly and she could feel herself blushing. The feeling faded though as she remembered the many fights they'd had over the past month. She couldn't figure out why they were fighting all the time, but she had desperately wanted it to be over. In this moment, it felt like maybe it was. They could both turn so quickly though, so she wasn't exactly convinced.

“Excuse me?”

They both looked up at a trio of young women. The tallest, blondest one had been the one to speak to them. She was smiling brightly at them. Her two friends looked less enthusiastic. One was glancing around anxiously, the other watched the tall blonde with wary eyes.

“Sorry, we just caught a glimpse of you two taking pictures of each other,” she said, “absolutely adorable. Anyway, did you want a few together?”

“Oh, uh…” Bucky said, looking at her dumbfounded.

“Yes,” Olivia nodded. She took the camera from Bucky’s hand and handed it to the young woman.

Bucky raised an eyebrow at her as she used him to climb up onto the wall. She leaned in and placed her arms around his neck.

“Play along Barnes,” she said into his ear, “we’re obviously being watched, we need this to look believable.”

He nodded and grabbed her legs as she wrapped them around his waist. They played the part easily, laughing together, smiling for the girl's photographs. Exactly what any couple would do in this same situation.

“You’re a super cute couple,” the girl said, finally handing Bucky the camera back.

“Thanks,” Olivia said, she kissed Bucky on the cheek for added measure.

She hopped off his back as the girls turned to walk off. One of them turned around to glance at them as they walked away. Olivia took Bucky’s hand and casually pulled him in the opposite direction.

“That was a spectacular performance,” Natasha’s voice chimed in over their earpieces.

“Don’t drop her hand Barnes,” came Clint’s, “they’re walking up to a man sitting outside a taco shop. It looks like he might be paying them.”

“He must have been trying to confirm that we were an actual couple,” Olivia said, leaning her head against Bucky’s arm as they walked.

“Well he didn’t buy it,” Natasha muttered, “he’s following you two.”

“Must’ve caught site of Liv’s thigh holster,” Clint teased.

“Shut up Barton,” Bucky replied.

He was trying to keep his voice light and even, he was nervous though, Olivia could tell. The grip he had on her hand tightened and his pace quickened.

“Okay you guys need to split up at the next turn,” Natasha ordered, “it’ll be harder for him to track you if you’re separate.”

“No,” Bucky said firmly.

“Barnes, that wasn’t a request,” Natasha said, “do it. Now.”

“It’s okay Buck,” Olivia said in a low voice, “I’ll be okay.”

He looked down at her, his eyes were full of fear and concern. They hadn’t been on a mission like this since their first and he was terrified at the thought of having her out of his sight. But she squeezed his hand gently and nodded reassuringly, so he let go and the took off in opposite directions.

“Fuck,” he heard Natasha say in his ear.

“Tell me he didn’t follow her,” Bucky growled.

“He followed her,” Clint said sharply.

Bucky’s heart dropped. He hadn’t seen which way she’d run; he didn’t know where she was. Natasha and Clint had eyes on them, sure, but they weren’t close. They were watching from a monitor on the rooftop from across the building that housed the stolen Chitauri tech that they were trying to reclaim. Bucky and Olivia had been at the beach scouting out the man who owned the building and his possible employees. They’d been at it for about a week, apparently, he’d finally caught on to their presence.

“Where is she?” Bucky barked.

“Turn right,” Clint replied.

Olivia was in an alleyway, holding her own against the man that had chased him and one other. Her extra trainings with Bucky had apparently paid off. Until of course one of them punched her in the gut. She doubled over in pain and in that brief moment one of the men grabbed her. He pulled a knife to her throat as Bucky turned the corner.

“Okay you’ve got to stop finding me like this,” she said to him.

He rolled his eyes at her poorly timed joke, as he grabbed unoccupied man and threw him hard into the wall, rendering him unconscious.

“Make another move and I’ll kill her,” the man grunted at Bucky.

He didn’t have to make another move though. Olivia had reached down and pulled her own knife out from beneath her dress and jammed it hard into his thigh. He groaned and instinctively threw her away from him. Bucky caught her, steadied her on her feet, then punched the man square in the face with his vibranium arm.

“I’m getting her out of here,” Bucky said, grabbing Olivia by the arm and pulling her out of the darkened alleyway.

“Fine, we’re almost there,” Natasha agreed. Olivia didn’t think she had much of a choice. “Tony is on his way; we’ll finish this up and come for you when we’re done. You’re clear.”

He pulled Olivia along the street, the sun had mostly set, and the streetlights were going on. They received a few concerned glances from passersby, so Olivia tugged her arm out of Bucky’s grip. He had lost complete control over the wall he’d put up to keep their connection at bay and Olivia could feel his anxiety in every part of her. She didn’t say anything, but gently, she locked her fingers with his. It did little to quell his state, but she felt a small bit of relief from him.

When they got to his motorcycle, he shrugged off his jacket and handed it to her silently. She swam in it, but she hadn’t brought her own and it was admittedly starting to get chilly. After securing her helmet, she climbed onto the bike behind Bucky and wrapped her arms around his waist. It was then that she realized that his entire body was shaking. She knew not to say anything, not yet at least. He hadn’t spoken to her yet, indicating that he wasn’t ready to talk. Instead she squeezed him lightly around his middle, hoping it helped at least a little. He rested his hand atop hers as he started up the bike and kept it there for the duration of the ride.

Olivia had no clue where he was going, she hardly thought he even knew, but he drove fast and far. By the time they’d stopped she figured they’d been going for at least two to three hours. They were up the coast now, on a deserted stretch of beach. It was dark, the only source of light was the moon above them. His anxiety had lessened somewhat, but his body still shook off and on. He climbed off his bike, then pulled her off. He watched her as she took off her helmet and set it on the bike. As soon as she set the helmet down on the bike seat next to her, Bucky’s hands where on her face, checking her for any sign of harm.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice almost frantic.

“I’m fine,” she replied softly.

“You’re bleeding,” he said, brushing his thumb over a cut by her eyebrow. She hadn’t even realized it was there until he touched it. “It’s bruising too.”

“Well don’t touch it,” she hissed, pulling her head away from him.

Bucky stared down at her. She was telling him that she was okay, he could see with his own eyes that she was okay, but his mind was failing him. The flashbacks of her lying in his arms were overwhelming him entirely. He staggered back from her, trying to settle his breathing. It was pointless of course, but he had to try.

“Barnes,” she said, reaching out to touch his arm, “I’m okay, really. It wasn’t even close.”

He laughed bitterly; she was delusional if she believed that. A man had just held a knife against her throat and threatened to slice it open. It was close.

“Please Tiny, he had a knife to your throat,” Bucky replied.

“And with your help, I handled it,” she said firmly.

The implication that she wouldn’t have been able to handle it if he hadn’t shown up in time, threw his body into another fit of shaking. He turned away from her and made his way onto the beach, throwing himself down and collapsing backwards onto the sand. His heart raced and his mouth was completely dry; usually he could keep his panic attacks at bay, this one was all consuming.

He hardly noticed her presence beside him. Not until she placed her hand on his shaky one did he fully realize she was there. She ran her fingers softly up and down his arm silently for a few moments. This subtle, repetitive motion mixed with the sound of the tide going in and out helped calm him.

“Buck,” she said gently, “It’s okay, I’m okay.”

She was okay, she was next to him, safe and okay. He caught her hand in his and held it tightly, allowing her to influence his emotions for the first time in a long time. It wasn’t overpowering, she couldn’t relieve him of everything, but she did what she could. Rolling onto her side she placed her hand on his cheek, turning him to face her. Her honey eyes were soft and understanding.

“I’m sorry I scared you,” she whispered.

He didn’t deserve her. It was his fault that she ended up with a knife to her neck in the first place. He should have known better than to leave her, even if Natasha had commanded it. He turned his body on his side, his brow furrowed as he looked at her.

“I’m sorry I left,” he gulped.

“Bucky, this wasn’t your fault,” she said desperately.

“That might be true,” he nodded, “but if I had just stayed with you-”

“Stop,” she said pressing her nose gently to his.

His eyes closed and for the first time, he admitted to himself how safe she made him feel. She’d gone from someone who he genuinely never thought he could trust to being one of the places he felt safest.

“I can’t lose you,” he said softly.

When she remained silent, his eyes snapped open. She was watching him, her own eyes wide and confused. It took him a moment to realize what he’d just said and why it would cause such confusion in her.

“Um what?” she breathed.

His heart started to race again, for different reasons this time. He didn’t know how to respond, mostly because he didn’t know why he’d said it in the first place. It wasn’t untrue, the thought of losing her had sent him spiraling more than once, but she didn’t know that, especially when he still couldn’t figure out why himself.

“I can’t…because…you know, you’re Steve’s best friend,” he sputtered. “Steve can’t lose you and I can’t lose you…for him.”

Olivia narrowed her eyes at him as she pulled her head away from his. The confusion hadn’t entirely faded from her eyes, but it had changed. Something else was confusing her.

“Right,” she said, “of course, no that makes total sense. The pressure of all this must be…yeah…intense, for sure.”

She sat up and wrapped her arms around her knees. He couldn’t help but feeling as though he’d messed something up. He didn’t know what or how though, so, he sat up too, and nudged into her gently.

“As much as I hate to say it, I think I might actually be starting to enjoy having you as a partner though Tiny,” he smirked.

“You don’t have to do that Barnes,” she said with a short laugh.

“No really,” he said, “you keep things interesting at the very least.”

“Why were you so obnoxious about my date?” Olivia asked suddenly.

Bucky blinked at her. He was taken completely by surprise at her question and he had absolutely no idea how to answer it.

“I-uh, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” was all he could come up with.

“You tried to stop me from going at least three different times, you waited up until I got home, you fought me on going out with him again,” she said in a flurry of words, “what the fuck was all that about?”

“Tiny,” he laughed, “come on, none of that is even remotely true. I was genuinely concerned about your car making it to the city. I didn’t wait up for you, I was finishing one of the movies on Sam and Clint’s very long list of ‘must-sees’ and I didn’t fight you on going out with him again…I was just trying to make sure you didn’t skip out on your physical therapy.”

“Got it,” she said after a brief moment.

They both turned their heads as the quinjet landed behind them. Olivia stood abruptly, unzipping Bucky’s jacket and dropping it his feet.

“Thank god,” Olivia she said making her way towards the jet.

“Olivia wait-,” Bucky said, jumping up after her.

“What Barnes?” she snapped turning back to him.

“I don’t understand why you’re upset,” he said, “it felt like we were making progress on this whole…you know…friendship thing.”

“Friendship thing,” she scoffed, biting her lip. “I can’t be friends with you Barnes.”

“What?” he asked, feeling like he’d been punched in the gut. “Why not?”

“You’re so stupid,” she said breathlessly. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Tiny,” he said with a shake of his head.

"Just...say what you mean Barnes! You can't lose me, say it!"

"You're right! I can't, I told you that! Because of Steve."

"Then maybe I'm the stupid one," she said in a low, angry voice.

"What does that even mean Olivia?" he asked.

“Figure it out Barnes,” she shot back.

He sighed and bent down to pick up his jacket. They'd been so close, he felt like they'd been so close to moving past their constant fighting and towards some sort of friendship. It felt like they were constantly taking one step forward, two steps back. He puffed out a long sigh as he ran his fingers through his hair. They weren't meant to be friends, and in that moment, he decided to stop trying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter this time, but I hope you all enjoyed it! Thank you for reading and please don't hesitate to leave comments and feedback!


	24. Four Conversations

Olivia was sprawled out across the sofa in the entertainment room, her legs propped up in Clint’s lap. They were watching a movie, although Olivia couldn’t really say that Clint was watching as he was rather engrossed in his phone. She glanced over at him, as she heard his phone buzz again. A dopey grin spread over his face as he looked down to read the notification. Olivia nudged his leg with her foot and his head shot up to look at her. She didn’t miss the flush of pink in his cheeks.

“I would ask you if you’re enjoying the movie,” she said, “but I’m not convinced you’ve seen enough of it to make an accurate judgement.”

“I’m sorry,” he groaned.

“No, it’s okay,” Olivia said.

She gave him a reassuring smile to assure him that she wasn’t upset. He had been doing her a favor by spending so much of his time with her. When he wasn’t around Natasha or Wanda filled in. Sometimes she’d slip down into Tony’s workshop. Occasionally she’d see Steve or Sam, but they belonged to Bucky, so she generally avoided them.

It had been a little over a week since the night on the beach and she’d hardly spoken to Bucky outside of their trainings. He’d also been tasked with helping her with her physical therapy, which made her hate the process even more. Even then, they only said a few words to each other, then departed their meetings quickly and without any conclusion. She was still furious with him, but as the days went on, her reasons became muddled. When he told her he couldn’t lose her, something in her felt justified. Like she hadn’t hallucinated him overreacting to her going on a date or that he’d maybe started to actually care for her. Then he added the caveat that he couldn’t lose her because of Steve, she knew that was a lie. She didn’t have to read him to know it either. But then he was so adamantly against her accusations that he’d waited up for her and tried to stop her from dating Westley. She didn’t know if he was lying then or if he was telling the truth and she wasn’t sure which she preferred. Either way his words, his actions, the way he’d completely disregarded her, cut her to her core. The entire conversation was riddled with contradictions and it had left her completely disoriented. So, Olivia avoided him like the Plague and when he did nothing to correct her, she felt the hurt all over again.

“Who are you texting anyway?” Olivia asked Clint. The look on his face every time he reached for his phone had piqued her curiosity.

“Oh, um, no one really,” he said, shoving his phone into his pocket. “How’s the ‘Big Freeze Out’ going?” he asked, referring to Olivia and Bucky’s current situation.

She narrowed her eyes at him. He obviously didn’t want to talk about who he was texting, so she wouldn’t push it, but she wasn’t entirely sure that she wanted to talk about her situation either. The only other person to bring it up to her was Steve, once in passing. This was one conversation she really didn’t feel like having with Steve, and so she didn’t. Instead, she’d shut it down real quick and he moved on.

“I am not freezing anyone out,” Olivia mumbled, “I’m just taking a break from some of the toxic energy in my life.”

“Really?” Clint asked, biting the corner of his lip. “Is that why you aren’t talking to Steve or Sam either? Toxic energy?”

“Well,” Olivia sighed, “they are good friends with that toxic energy, and I didn’t want to leave toxic energy without anyone to…you know…expel their toxic energy onto.”

Clint snorted at her as he raised an eyebrow. “Toxic energy” was certainly one way to put Barnes. Clint didn’t think he was toxic though, certainly not in Olivia’s case. He just thought they were two idiots who couldn’t get their shit together long enough to sort things out. Of course, he’d never actually tell her that, he wasn’t that stupid.

“Oh, come on Livvy,” Clint said, as she pulled herself up into a sitting position, “toxic energy? Really? What the hell did Barnes do to you?”

Olivia grabbed a couch pillow and hugged it against her chest. She began tugging at the loose strands attached to it, avoiding Clint’s gaze.

“I don’t know Clint,” she sighed, “maybe I overreacted.”

“You probably overreacted.”

He dodged her as she moved to attack him with the pillow in her hands. His lips pursed at her and he snatched the pillow out of her arms.

“Okay, if you want my help, we will be having none of that,” he said, chucking the pillow to the other side of the room.

“I didn’t ask for your help though.”

“Yeah, well…I think you need it. Now, what happened? It must have been pretty bad; he’s been sulking around here too.”

Olivia raised a skeptical eyebrow at him. To be completely honest, she probably wouldn’t have noticed either way, if he’d been sulking or not. The only time she saw him was in trainings and he was far too focused to sulk.

“Really?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Clint nodded. “I mean it’s not a far cry from how he usually is, but there’s been a definite shift. He doesn’t make us food anymore…so that’s been a bummer.”

“Oh, poor you,” Olivia mocked.

“Yeah poor me! I’ve been living off of cereal and Chinese take-out for almost two weeks! I can’t even remember what I did before Barnes showed up.”

“We were all fine before he arrived.”

“Livvy,” Clint sighed, “come on, cut the man some slack. He’s a mess, even with Shuri’s help. His panic attacks are frequent, and he wakes up almost every night screaming. If I’m up late enough I can hear him, but he wakes Sam up pretty often.”

Olivia groaned and dropped her head back. She hadn’t known any of this. The list of things he hid from her felt never ending. Then again, why would he tell her about any of it, they weren’t friends, they hardly functioned as polite colleagues.

“I’m just having a hard time figuring out where our line is,” she grumbled. “I almost never know where I stand with him and the minute I’m sure I have figured it out, he shuffles the ground out from beneath me and I’m lost again.”

“That’s it?”

“Well…no,” she admitted, “he told me he couldn’t lose me, and I don’t know…it felt good to hear him say it. Then he added that he couldn’t lose me because of Steve. Which, if I’m being completely honest, hurt like hell. Even though I knew it was a lie. It was obviously such a lie.”

Clint nodded, considering her words. He mulled them over in his head; it was a sensitive situation to navigate. Bucky and Olivia were both volatile human beings, and Olivia was prone to reacting first and thinking things through later. Not to mention, he didn’t technically have any real justification for either’s behavior towards each other, just a lot of suspicion.

“Maybe he’s just as confused as you are Livvy,” Clint said finally. “It’s entirely possible that he doesn’t even know what his feelings are towards you. I mean, think about it, you manipulated him for years and yeah, you helped save him, but by unintentionally forcing a connection on him that he probably doesn’t want. Then, you chased him all over the world which ended in an incredibly violent encounter that he was brainwashed into. He comes here and you’re involved in some entanglement with his best friend and only connection to his past, he’s forced into a partnership with you. You almost died in his arms. That’s a lot to process…for anyone. And I’m sure your feelings towards him are just as messy.”

“Shit, when you put it that way,” Olivia breathed, blinking up at him.

“For what it’s worth,” Clint added, “I do think he cares about you and I think that is absolutely terrifying to him.”

“Why would it be terrifying though?” she asked.

“Well,” he said slowly, “isn’t it terrifying for you?”

Clint wasn’t a stupid man, by any means, he just typically kept his great revelations to himself. Natasha was privy to a few of them, but she kept his secret well.

“When did you get so smart?” Olivia asked, her eyes narrowed up at him.

“I always have been,” he shrugged, “you just weren’t paying attention,” he added tapping her nose with his forefinger.

Natasha strolled into the entertainment room and inserted herself between them. She stretched herself across them both, resting her head in Olivia’s lap.

“What are you two nerds doing?” she asked, looking up at Olivia.

“Clint was being prolific for once,” Olivia smirked.

“Oh yeah,” Natasha nodded, “he does that sometimes. He likes to keep those little moments to himself though. Oh by the way, Barnes is looking for you Liv.”

“Wh-what? Why?” Olivia spluttered.

“I think you’re late for training,” said Natasha, “I don’t know, he seemed pretty pissed.”

“Of course he did,” Olivia groaned.

She stood, leaving Nat’s head to drop on the couch cushion beneath her. As she started out of the room, Olivia grabbed the pillow Clint had thrown and tossed it to Natasha.

“Livvy remember,” Clint cautioned, “cut him some slack.”

“We’ll see,” she said with a wave of her hand.

* * *

Sam glanced down at his phone next to him on his desk where he worked. A smirk spread across his face, he let the grin grow as he realized he was alone. There was a soft knock on his door, and he jumped. He finished his text quickly, then shoved his phone deep into his pocket.

“Come in,” he said, his heart rate returning to normal.

Bucky opened the door slowly. Sam was surprised by Bucky’s sudden appearance in his room. They’d had a few conversations here and there, but mostly he stuck to Steve. It made Olivia’s avoidance of him all the more annoying. She thought she was doing Bucky a favor by leaving Sam in neutral territory, but Bucky had yet to utilize him in any real way.

“What’s up Barnes?” Sam asked.

“I…uh…have this…problem,” Bucky said, fidgeting uncomfortably in Sam’s doorway.

“A problem huh?” Sam asked.

He leaned himself back in his desk chair, crossing his arms over his chest. Of course he would help Bucky, but he certainly wasn’t going to make it easy on him.

“Yes, a problem,” Bucky grunted.

“Where’s Steve?”

“Can’t talk to him about it.”

“Oh so this is an Olivia Harrington problem.”

“I’m gonna go,” Bucky said, turning to leave.

“Wait Barnes, I’m just messing with you,” Sam smirked. “But it is about Olivia isn’t it?” he added, questioningly.

“Fine,” Bucky said, “yes. It is.”

“Alright, here’s what I’m going to need from you,” said Sam, “all you gotta do is say, ‘Sam Wilson, new best friend, I need you and your expert advice’, and we’re in business.”

Bucky let out a short laugh. Sam stared up at him, completely serious. Bucky blinked at him for a moment, unsure of what to do. He nodded and turned to leave again.

“Not doing it,” he said with a shake of his head.

“Who are you going to talk to Barnes?” Sam called after him. “Tony? Rhodey? They’re not exactly neutral. Natasha will probably keep quiet for you, but you won’t go to her because she’ll tell you something that you don’t want to hear. You could go to Wanda I guess, but she can read your mind and absolutely will. Steve? For an Olivia problem? Even you’re smart enough to know that’s a bad idea.”

“I hate you Wilson,” Bucky grumbled.

“Oooh,” said Sam, with a low whistle, “that’s not what we agreed upon.”

Bucky turned back towards Sam, his eyes glaring down at him. He rolled his eyes and let out a long low sigh. He was right of course, there was actually no one else for Bucky to talk to. The only other person he’d actually considered was in fact Steve, but there was something off there. Of course, he knew that there was a complicated history. He hadn’t pried into it with either of them though, but any time he mentioned Olivia to Steve, Steve got tense and uncomfortable. Sam smiled brightly at him, waiting for Bucky to speak.

“Wilson, I need your advice,” he said flatly.

“Okay that’s not _quite_ right,” Sam teased.

“Wilson,” Bucky growled.

“Fine, it’ll work,” Sam said, gesturing for Bucky to sit in an armchair Sam had placed in his room for reading. “What’s up Barnes?”

Bucky sat and pushed his hair back as he gathered his thoughts. Sam watching him shift uncomfortably; he opened his mouth and closed it a few times. The man in front of him was so far removed from the one who’d ripped off one of his Falcon wings and sent him plummeting to his death, he could hardly believe that technically they were one and the same. Sam liked Bucky for the most part, but that didn’t mean he’d forgotten the Winter Soldier.

“I pissed her off,” Bucky said finally.

“Yeah no shit,” Sam scoffed, “I think everyone knows that.”

Bucky stared at him, his lips taught and eyes completely devoid of any enthusiasm. Sam thought it was funny, even if Bucky didn’t.

“Alright, alright,” Sam said with a laugh, “do you know how you pissed her off?”

“Uh,” Bucky scratched the back of his neck, “I think so.”

“What did you do Barnes?” Sam sighed, exasperated.

“That last mission…it was rough and it really got to me,” he replied slowly, “I might have had a bit of a panic attack and in the midst of it I may have told her that I couldn’t lose her.”

“I’m failing to see how any of this would piss her off,” Sam replied, shaking his head. Either Bucky wasn’t telling him something or Olivia was seriously ill equipped to handle Bucky in a heightened state. Both were entirely plausible, but he’d seen Olivia with Bucky many times and wasn’t convinced the second was true.

“Well it just sort of slipped out and I think she took it the wrong way,” Bucky added. “I didn’t want there to be any confusion so I clarified that I couldn’t lose her on Steve’s behalf, which she didn’t take well.”

Sam did his best to school the shock on his face, he wasn’t sure he was doing a very good job though. He didn’t think Bucky was stupid and yet, here he was, begging for Sam’s help in figuring out why Olivia would be upset with him over something so plainly obvious.

“Buck,” Sam said, licking his lips, “you told her that you couldn’t lose her. She heard you say that you couldn’t lose her. And then you basically took it back. Come on my guy, this isn’t really that complicated.”

“I didn’t take it back,” Bucky protested, “I clarified. Steve would be…I mean…he can’t lose anyone else. And he’s so attached to Olivia.”

“You mean you can’t lose anyone else,” Sam corrected. “More importantly, you can’t lose Olivia. And you’re the one who is attached to her.”

“No,” Bucky said, shaking his head, “that is not what I mean. And I am not attached to her, at all, I mean other than our connection.”

“Right,” Sam nodded, “the connection that Shuri, the smartest person in the world, couldn’t fix. She managed to reprogram your entire brain but couldn’t get that part out.”

“I’m not a huge fan of what you’re implying Wilson,” Bucky said, narrowing his eyes at Sam.

“You don’t have to be,” Sam shrugged. “I think you need to do some self-reflection Buck. From what everyone else on that mission says, Olivia was good, she had it handled for the most part, yet you had a panic attack at the thought of losing her.”

“From the pressure of keeping her alive for Steve!”

“Bucky you checked your phone every ten minutes and checked the clock every five when she was out on her date.”

“I’m the one who told her date in the first place Sam.”

“Okay fine, you can keep pretending like you don’t have feelings for her,” Sam said crossing his arms, over his chest, “it’s no sweat off my back if you do.”

“I don’t have feelings for her,” Bucky laughed, “and she certainly doesn’t have feelings for me. I think she’d prefer it if I quietly slipped out of her life forever.”

“Well that isn’t true,” Sam said, shaking his head.

Bucky raised an eyebrow at him. Sam started to see the problem; if Bucky did have feelings for her, he’d have a hard time admitting to himself, let alone anyone else. Bucky didn’t think he was worth her affections, he didn’t think he deserved to be treated with love. Sam had seen this before with other veterans he’d helped, it was a heavy load to bear. He couldn’t make Bucky see that he was worth it, and that Olivia definitely though he was worth it, but he could try.

“Olivia is soft Barnes,” Sam sighed, “she pretends that she isn’t, but she is. I don’t know what happened between you two during your shared time at HYDRA, but what I do know is that for some reason she risked her life to help you. And as much as she pretends to hate you, she’s actively spent a majority of her time here fighting to bring you back to Steve. I won’t pretend to know why, because genuinely, you two are the most confusing people I’ve come across. If you came here for my opinion, which you obviously did, I think she cares about you. I think she’s desperately trying to get you to like her and when you threw your fear of losing her back onto Steve, you confirmed for her the one thing that she’s been afraid of; that you don’t actually care for her.”

Bucky was quiet for a few minutes. Sam wasn’t sure if he’d gotten through Bucky’s thick head or if Bucky was trying to think up some rebuttal.

“I told her we could be friends,” Bucky said after a moment.

“You’re giving me a headache Barnes,” Sam moaned, rubbing his temple. “Look, you don’t have to tell me how you truly feel about her Barnes. Personally I think you do care about her maybe a little bit more than you’d like to admit and I think that’s why the thought of losing her sends you into a full blown panic attack, but you can keep that shit to yourself if you want. I do think you need to work through it with yourself though. If not for you, then for her.”

“Fine,” Bucky said curtly, “but for the record, I think you’re wrong about her. About her caring for me, it doesn’t make any sense. She shouldn’t care about it me.”

“But she does,” Sam said with a small smile.

* * *

Olivia stormed into the training room and breezed past Bucky. He was standing with his arms across his chest, glaring at her. Despite Sam and Clint trying their best with the two, Bucky and Olivia had both left their conversations with sour tastes in their mouths. Bucky watched her as she stood at the other end of the room, pulling her curls up into a messy bun, staring him down as she did so. He didn’t think that anything Sam had said was true, especially the part about her desperately trying to get him to like her.

“You’re late,” Bucky said curtly.

“No shit,” she shot back, “I lost track of time.”

“I don’t have all day Olivia,” he grunted.

“Oh really?” Olivia asked, striding towards him. “What else do you have going on?”

“Things,” Bucky muttered.

Bucky didn’t actually have anything else going on, but Olivia was often late, and he hated waiting for her. Her hands rested on her hips and her head cocked to the side, she pursed her lips and raised an eyebrow at him skeptically. His stomach clenched as a laugh escaped his lips. He shook his head, playing it off as though he were mildly irritated with her. He was in fact, mildly irritated with her, but the laugh didn’t come from that.

She rolled her eyes at him as she stretched out her limbs. Then, she lay down on the matted floor and waited for him. She placed her leg over his shoulder as he kneeled in front of her. Slowly, he thrusted her leg inwards towards her stomach. Her jaw set as he increased the pressure on her. The stab wound on her stomach had turned into a nasty looking scar, but the trauma it left behind beneath the skin still caused her pain. He hadn’t pointed out that the physical therapy they’d been doing didn’t seem to be helping much.

“Ow Barnes shit! It’s too much!” she exclaimed, wincing in pain.

He released her immediately, retreating a few feet away from her. His mouth went completely dry and his heart began racing. A panic attack threatened him as memories of the two of them in a HYDRA training room flooded his mind. This wasn’t the first time he’d hurt her, pushed her too far without realizing. He dropped his head in his hands and focused on his breathing, reminding himself that they were no longer there. He heard her shuffle towards him, she paused, lingering on her knees in front of him. When her fingers snaked through his hair, he sighed heavily. He was partially relieved at her touch; she wasn’t afraid of him. On the other hand, he was annoyed with her; she should be afraid of him.

“What are you doing Olivia?” he asked.

“I don’t know if those memories were yours or mine,” she said in a low, shaky voice, “but that isn’t who you are.”

“You saw them too?” he asked, looking up at her. She nodded silently. He groaned, hanging his head again, “I think they were mine.”

“That makes sense I guess,” she said gently, her hands still working their way through his hair. “I’m not sure though, they were pretty vivid for me too.”

“I’m sorry,” he said to her. The apology encompassed so much, the memories, hurting her, breaking down in front of her, all of it, everything.

“No apology needed Barnes,” her voice was soft, sweet, and even. It calmed him slightly, she calmed him. It wasn’t right, it was asking too much of her.

“You should go,” Bucky grunted.

Olivia’s heart sunk at his words. The worst part was that she knew that he meant it, he wanted her to leave. She made a move to go, but something held her back. He’d said the memories were his, but she couldn’t be sure of it, it was equally possible that the rush of memories they’d both been subject to were from her. It didn’t feel right leaving him alone in this state when she was possibly to blame for it.

“I’m not going anywhere Barnes,” she said, entwining her fingers in his hair again.

“Olivia,” he said, pushing her hands away from him, “please. You shouldn’t have to do this, the things I’ve done to you…and not just to you.”

“I don’t have to do this,” she said firmly, “but I want to. Those things, that wasn’t you. You didn’t have any control over it.”

“You don’t get it,” he laughed bitterly, “of course it was me. They didn’t change who I was, they just molded me to do their bidding. I am that person, that was me.”

Olivia sucked in a breath, forcing herself to keep her composure. Tears threatened her eyes as her heart broke for him. He was right, she understood what he was saying. The things she’d done, regardless of if she’d been forced into doing them, were still done by her. She sunk down to level herself with him, keeping her movements slow and cautious, so as not to startle him. He let her place her hands on either side of his face and lift his head to meet her eyes.

“I know,” she nodded, “but that isn’t who you are. They can’t get to you anymore. I won’t let them, or anyone get to you ever again.”

“You’re so small,” Bucky said, letting out a soft laugh.

“Hey now, I’ve taken you down more than once,” she smirked.

“C’mon Olivia,” he said shaking his head, “don’t be ridiculous.”

“Bucky I’m serious,” she said firmly, “I’m absolutely serious.”

He didn’t know how to believe her, but her golden eyes bore fiercely into his and he couldn’t imagine a world where he didn’t. She ran her thumbs gently over his cheeks. His eyes closed unwittingly against her touch; he’d been deprived of soft touches like this for so long. He wanted to stay there, with her forever, but it became too much for him. He didn’t deserve her soft touches, he didn’t deserve her fierce loyalty, he didn’t deserve her. A breath hitched in his stomach and he pulled away from her sharply.

“I can’t do this Olivia,” he exhaled.

Her head nodded up and down lightly. She wanted to help him, but she wouldn’t push him past his limits. A wave of gratitude washed over him as he watched her swallow her tears. She was so strong, but he knew he couldn’t do this to her forever. There would come a time when she stopped putting up with him, when she decided he was too much more to handle than he was worth. He felt nauseated at the thought.

“Tiny,” he said with a small smile, “thank you, for everything. You’re too good to me and I keep screwing it up. I’m sorry, I’m a mess.”

Olivia gulped and let out a little laugh. It made his smile grow, it fascinated him that she could muster any sort of amusement in this moment.

“What are partners for, right Barnes?” she asked, nudging his shoulder playfully.

He caught her hand in his and ran his thumb over her palm. Without thinking he brought it to his lips, kissing it gently. She trembled slightly as a shiver ran through her, her eyes widened as she took in his strange behavior.

“Bucky,” she whispered, resting her hand on his cheek.

“Don’t,” he said with a shake of his head, “don’t say anything. Just…um, I lied. I’m the one who can’t lose you, not Steve. It has nothing to do with Steve, it never did.” His brow furrowed with uncertainty as he spoke.

Slowly his eyes traveled up to meet hers. He was surprised to see that she was biting back a smile. Here he was, pouring his heart out to her and she was laughing at him. He rolled his eyes and laughed disbelievingly.

“No, Bucky, stop,” she said quickly, pulling his attention back towards her, “it’s just…I knew that, I mean, I’m not an idiot.”

“Of course not,” he scoffed, “I’m the idiot.”

“Buck, you’re not an idiot,” Olivia said in protest as he stood, “you can’t just leave.”

She scrambled to her feet and ran to cut him off. He looked down at her, amazed that Sam thought there was any way that either of them had feelings for the other. The only attachment he had to her was through their stupid connection. Maybe she made him feel a little less alone and little more human, but that was it. She was still the single most annoying person he’d ever met.

“You’re still the single most annoying person I’ve ever met,” he told her.

“Sure, sure,” she grinned, “but you don’t want me to die and that’s something.”

“I don’t want a lot of people to die.”

“Specifically, me though.”

“You are infuriating,” he grumbled.

“What a weird thing to say about your favorite person ever,” Olivia said, biting her lip and cocking her head to the side.

“Okay no…that is not a thing,” he scoffed.

She breezed past him with a laugh and grabbed her things. He watched her, dumbfounded, as she started to strut out of the training room.

“You can’t leave,” he said following her, “I was going to leave, you can’t just…”

“I didn’t know you had a monopoly on leaving Barnes,” she smirked.

“Olivia Harrington,” he said sharply, “we did zero training, we have to…I don’t know do something.”

“We did do something,” she shrugged, “we figured out that you’re a little bit of an idiot and that I’m your favorite person and you’d be lost without me.”

Their argument didn’t end outside of the training room though. In fact, their bickering continued on and off for the rest of the day. Even as he made dinner for everyone in the kitchen, Nat, Tony, Rhodey, and Steve, they continued to fight, but no one said anything. Instead they glanced around at each other with small smiles across their faces. Bucky was cooking again and Olivia was laughing, even it was in between spatting at Bucky.

* * *

Sam looked up at another knock on his door. He didn’t jump this time; he knew who it was. The door opened slowly, and Clint slipped in. They stared at each other silently for a moment, neither of them making a move. Sam tried to ignore the way his heart rate had quickened. He didn’t usually lose his cool, but these days Clint’s presence was forcing him to lose his cool.

“Hi,” Clint said, his cheeks tinted with pink, “I don’t think anyone saw, I did have to make up an excuse to leave Nat, but I’m pretty sure she bought it.”

A smile broke across Sam’s face at Clint’s rambling. He could listen to Clint ramble all day, but there was something else he wanted to be doing with Clint even more. He stood up and walked towards Clint, pausing just in front of him. Sam reached out and placed his hand behind Clint’s neck, then pulled the man into him. Clint smiled as their lips met, his arms wrapped around Sam’s waist.

It started the night of Tony’s party. Both men had drunkenly shared a cab home and later, drunkenly shared a bed. Sam’s bed. Sam knew that Clint had been flirting with him all night, but Clint was a flirty person, he’d flirt with anything if given the chance. So, Sam hadn’t thought anything of it, until Clint planted a messy kiss on his lips in the cab. Sam had been taken aback to say the least, he didn’t normally kiss men, save for once or twice in college. Which wasn’t to say that he wasn’t attracted to men, he just generally preferred to kiss women. Until Clint had kissed him of course. There had been a brief pause and an awkward apology on Clint’s part, then more kissing and then a lot more than kissing.

After the party it had taken Sam some time to come to terms with it. He’d always known he was attracted to both men and women, but this was the first time he truly wanted to be with a man. Plus, Clint was his friend and co-worker. It was messy to say the least. Clint was patient with him though, and more than that, he was understanding. He didn’t push Sam while they danced around each other for a month or so as Sam tried to figure himself out. When Sam finally came around, Clint was willing to keep it secret until Sam was ready. Sam didn’t think anyone knew or even suspected, other than Natasha because of course she suspected.

Clint pulled back from Sam’s kiss and grinned at him. He pushed Sam backwards onto Sam’s bed and climbed on top of him, bending down to press his lips against Sam’s again.

“As much as I want to do this right now,” Clint said, pulling away, “I actually came here for another reason.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Sam laughed, frustration tugging in his gut. He tangled his fingers through Clint’s hair, causing Clint to bite his lip.

“No really,” Clint groaned. “I did. I was going to tell you that I talked to Olivia finally.”

“I don’t care.”

Sam pressed his lips against Clint’s neck, wishing the man would shut up about their idiotic friends. After all, Clint was the one who threw Sam onto the bed, surely, he knew what he was getting himself into.

“Sam,” Clint breathed, “wait, hold on.”

“Okay, okay,” Sam nodded, dropping his head back onto his mattress, “tell me about Olivia and then, I’ll tell you about my stupid talk with Bucky and then maybe you’ll finally let me…” he trailed off, sliding his hand up Clint’s shirt.

“You’re such an ass,” Clint laughed, his body shivering against Sam’s touch. “Wait, you talked to Bucky?” he asked, his eyes popping open.

“Yeah,” Sam said, “he finally showed up asking for advice. I don’t think he’s ready to admit that he has feelings for her.”

“Well maybe he doesn’t,” Clint shrugged.

“No, he does,” Sam replied, “he definitely does.”

“I’m not convinced that she has feelings for him,” Clint sighed.

“I don’t know,” Sam said shaking his head, “I’ve seen the way she looks at him. Looks a helluva lot like what you look like looking at me.”

Clint narrowed his eyes down at Sam, a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. He leaned in slowly, brushing his lips along Sam’s neck. Sam groaned softly, gently pushing his body up against Clint’s.

“Oh really?” he asked softly in Sam’s ear. “You should see the way you look at me.”

“Mmhm,” Sam grunted, “I’m sure it’s great. Please tell me we’re done talking about those two idiots.”

“Yeah,” Clint laughed, “we’re done talking about them.”

It was Clint’s turn to slip his hands under Sam’s shirt. He pulled it off with ease, then leaned in, planting kisses along his bare chest. Sam’s heart had hardly stopped racing since Clint had stepped through the door, he loved these moments with Clint, there was no doubt about that. The moments that came after these ones though, the ones where they lay together, bare and vulnerable, talking about anything and everything, those were the moments he lived for. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I really hope you all liked this chapter! I've been wanting to do Sam/Clint for a while now, but I was kind of nervous about how people would respond to it. I decided to just go with it and let it happen. Don't worry, this is still Bucky and Olivia's story, but I wanted to add more elements to it as well to round it out a little bit. Thank you for continuing to read! I appreciate all of my readers so much! :)


	25. Peter Parker Joins the Team

When Peter Parker got bit by a radioactive spider, he figured at best he’d end up with a really funky looking bug bite, at worst he’d die a slow and painful death. What he did not expect was super cool superpowers. What he really, really did not expect was Tony Stark knocking on his door and inviting him to the Avengers Compound by way of a super fake internship.

It had taken some time for Aunt May to warm to the idea. Mr. Stark was charming, but he was no match for Aunt May’s over-protective nature. After many awkward meetings in which she forcefully and embarrassingly force-fed Mr. Stark an array of poorly made baked goods and one not so awkward meeting where Ms. Potts showed up along with Mr. Stark to kindly assure May that Peter would be in safe hands, Aunt May finally said yes to an extended weekend at the Avenger’s Compound.

Peter was nervous to say the least. He buzzed with jitters in the back of Mr. Stark’s very fancy car. Mr. Stark’s driver, Happy, had already snapped more than once at Peter for curiously poking at buttons. He couldn’t help it though; it was altogether too exciting, and he needed some sort of outlet. How could he not be excited? Not only was he going to spend an entire weekend with his mentor, but he was going to meet one of his personal heroes, Captain America, plus the other Avengers in the process.

When they finally pulled up to the compound a small “whoa” escaped his lips. It was difficult not to be impressed by the massive building. Mr. Stark stood out front with Ms. Potts and his friend, who Peter recognized as Col. Rhodes. He hopped out of the car and grabbed his backpack, slinging it over his shoulder.

“How was the drive kid?” Tony asked as he stepped forward to greet Peter.

“It was great Mr. Stark! Happy let me pick the music,” Peter replied cheerfully, “so I chose your favorite Led Zeppelin.”

Tony paused, looking at him questioningly, then glanced over to Happy. Happy was tugging Peter’s duffle bag and suitcase out of the trunk, grunting as he did so.

“Nope, not Led Zeppelin,” Happy muttered as he dropped Peter’s duffle and very heavy suitcase on the ground.

“Woah, Mr. Happy sir, there’s uh, some pretty important stuff in there!” Peter exclaimed. He rushed forward and dusted it off tenderly.

“You, uh, planning on moving in there Pete?” asked Mr. Rhodes.

“Oh, uhm, no Mr. Rhodes, I just thought I’d bring some tech I was working on,” Peter replied, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

“It’s Rhodey.”

“Oh okay, Mr. Rhodey.”

“No, I-uh…” Rhodey laughed a little as he looked at Tony, his eyebrows raised.

“What?” Tony said with a shrug.

“Peter,” Ms. Potts said stepping forward, “are you hungry?” she asked kindly.

“Oh yes,” Peter nodded furiously.

“Alright, let’s get you something to eat and then Tony can give you a tour,” she smiled, “how does that sound?”

“Um perfect yeah,” Peter said. He didn’t think she could have pitched him a plan that wasn’t perfect to be honest.

“Come on kid,” Tony beamed, clapping a hand on Peter’s shoulder, “let’s go meet some Avengers.”

Tony, Rhodey, and Pepper led Peter into the kitchen, and he had to suppress a small, excited gasp. He recognized the Vision straight away; it was hard not to. At the table next to him sat the Scarlet Witch, Black Widow, and Hawkeye. Rhodey moved from his side to take a seat next to them. Peter’s heart was racing excitedly, he’d seen them all on T.V. countless times, these were people he looked up to. When he woke up with super strength, agility, and an inexplicable new tingle that alerted him to danger, these were just a few of the faces that gave him the confidence to swing around Queens and fight crime.

“Alright Kid, this is Wanda, Natasha, Clint, and Vision,” Tony said, pointing to each one as he said their names. “Everyone, this is Peter Parker.”

“Wow, you weren’t kidding when you said he was a kid,” Clint said to Tony.

Peter could feel his cheeks flush. Suddenly his excitement felt more like nerves. His brain started spiraling with anxieties. Would Mr. Stark regret bringing him here? Would he be able to prove himself to his literal heroes? Even if he was able to prove himself, would they accept him despite his age?

Natasha slapped her hand across the back of Clint’s head. She gave Peter a warm smile, as did Wanda and Vision. It made him feel only slightly better.

“What were you doing at sixteen Barton?” Tony smirked.

“Fair enough,” Clint grinned, “it’s good to have you spider kid.”

“Oh um…” Peter started, “it’s Spider-Man,” he finished in a mumble.

“Well that should be interesting,” Natasha said to him, with a sly grin, “looking forward to training with you Peter.”

“Yes,” Wanda added, beaming brightly, “welcome to our dysfunctional little family.”

He knew they were trying to be helpful, but for some reason, they were just heightening his nerves. He chuckled uncomfortably, at somewhat of a loss of words.

“Dysfunctional?” he said, his voice cracking slightly. “Nah I don’t believe that.”

He jumped as an incredibly loud mix between a scream and growl came from somewhere behind him. Tony groaned and ran his hand over his face, meanwhile, the others watched on with mingled looks of amusement and boredom.

“Seriously Barnes you HAVE to stop fucking following me!”

“Right on cue,” Tony muttered.

“I can’t stop fucking following you when you still owe me twenty minutes in the training room!” 

Peter’s mouth hung open as a short young woman, with dark curls stormed into the kitchen. She passed them without a second glance and threw open the refrigerator. Rhodey hopped up from his seat at the table and walked over to the woman, whispering something in her ear. Her body tensed as she let out a soft gasp, then she turned to face him, an apologetic smile plastered across her face.

“Peter, this is Olivia,” Tony said, his voice strained.

“It is so nice to meet you,” the girl said rushing forward to shake his hand, “I am so sorry that you had to hear that. My partner over there can be a bit of dick.” She just out her chin, indicating to something behind Peter.

“Steve is so going to kick your ass when he hears you swore in front of a sixteen-year-old,” Clint said, teasing her lightly.

“Oh my god,” she said, her hand flying over her mouth.

“You just swore too dumbass,” Natasha said, nudging Clint.

“Okay!” Pepper cut in sharply. “Later we are going to have a meeting on language that is appropriate to use in front of the minor. Vision, Wanda, you two are excluded.”

“Hold on now Pep,” Rhodey protested, “I haven’t said anything inappropriate.”

“Yes, but I know you,” she countered.

“Anyway,” Tony said, “Olivia is one of the newer members of our team and one half of our most volatile partnerships.” Tony placed his hands on Peter’s shoulders and turned him slowly around, “This is the other half,” he said of the man standing behind them.

He knew his eyes must have grown five sizes at least and his mouth dropped open even further. James Buchanan Barnes, the Winter Soldier, was much more impressive in person than in any history book he’d read or internet research he’d done.

“You’re…um…the Winter Soldier,” Peter gulped. “I just did a school project on your life and my teacher told me we had to pick an actual hero, but I made my case for it. Anyway, I got an A+,” he said in a flurry of words.

The minute the words left his mouth he knew he’d made a mistake. Beside him, Tony tensed up and cleared his throat uncomfortably. Peter glanced around quickly at the wide eyes and awkward faces in the kitchen. He winced as he turned back to the intimidatingly large man in front of him.

“What did you say?” asked the Winter Soldier.

“Um what?” Peter squeaked.

“What did you say to get her to allow you to do the project?”

“Oh,” Peter nodded, “um I told her that not only were you Captain America’s best friend and an actual World War Two hero, but that you survived seventy years of brainwashing and torture and still came out of it fighting to make the world better, and I don’t know, but that seems pretty heroic to me.”

The room was incredibly quiet, and Peter was certain he was just a few short moments from being kicked out of the compound and sent back to Queens. James Buchanan Barnes had not responded to him in anyway, what was scarier was that he hadn’t even moved. He just stood, staring Peter down. Then, slowly, a small smile formed on his face and he offered Peter his non-metal hand to shake. Peter stumbled forward in disbelief and took it.

“I’m Bucky,” he said.

“Peter Parker,” he managed to choke out.

“Don’t ever call me the Winter Solider again,” he added.

“Of course,” Peter said quickly, “right of course.”

“And don’t worry about that one,” he said, nodding towards Olivia, “her bark is worse than her bite.”

“Well now,” Tony said, giving Peter’s shoulder a squeeze, “that wasn’t so bad was it? Meeting the scariest person on our team.”

“No offense,” Peter said turning back towards the table, “but I think Miss Natasha is the scariest person on the team.”

“Oh, kid I _like_ you,” Natasha smirked.

Peter laughed; his nerves were finally starting to wear off. Tony gestured for him to sit down at the table and Peter did so, somewhat uncomfortably. It was only mildly terrifying now to be sitting at a table with superheroes.

“Still hungry?” asked Tony.

“Yeah, pretty hungry,” Peter nodded.

“Barnes here makes the best grilled cheese,” Olivia said nodding to Bucky.

She turned her back on him and walked back to the refrigerator. Peter glanced over at Bucky; he was watching her; pink colored his face. She grabbed a pickle and made her way over to the counter, hopping up onto it. Peter couldn’t fully comprehend the look on his face, he wasn’t sure if Bucky was angry with the girl or in awe of her.

“We still have twenty minutes of training left Olivia,” he grunted.

“The boy wants a grilled cheese!” Olivia countered.

Bucky sighed and rolled his eyes; but he moved into the kitchen and began working on making Peter some food. Tony winked at Peter.

“So what you’re seeing here, is that these two absolutely despise each other,” Rhodey said, leaning in to Peter.

“But they also have this really creepy like…brain bond, so they’re constantly gravitating towards each other,” Clint added.

“Shut up Barton,” Bucky muttered.

“And Mr. Barnes here will often do whatever Miss Harrington asks of him,” said Vision.

Bucky and Olivia both tensed. Peter watched them make awkward eye contact, then quickly look away. Tony laughed sharply, while the others made every effort to keep from looking towards the two. Wanda bit her lip as she squeezed Vision’s knee and gave him a small shake of her head.

“Uh…brain bond?” Peter asked, trying to change the subject and relieve the attention from Bucky and Olivia. “What’s a brain bond?”

“Olive, would you like to show Peter your powers and give him a little rundown on your strange and unhealthy relationship with Barnes?” Tony asked, grinning up at Olivia.

“Not really no,” Olivia shrugged.

Tony glared at her and raised an eyebrow. Olivia sighed at him in response, but when she looked over at Peter, she was smiling cheerfully. Peter felt instantly at ease, his nerves, even the lingering ones were completely gone. He felt as though he could finally take a real, deep breath. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew that he was being manipulated. He looked up at her with wide eyes.

“Whoa,” he breathed.

“Pretty cool right?” she asked, wiggling her eyebrows at him. “Don’t worry, I won’t do that to you again unless you ask.”

“So, what’s a brain bond?” he asked looking between Olivia and Bucky.

“Well,” Bucky said, “due to some unfortunate circumstances, Olivia used her special gift on me while I was a part of HYDRA. Eventually though she decided that I was more than a weapon and used her power to help me with some lost memories. The effect left a permanent connection and now I can do what she just did to you, to her…amongst other things.”

“Woah,” Peter said again.

“That’s not…entirely…” Olivia was glaring at Bucky, “your version of the story sucks Barnes.”

“Enlighten us with yours then,” Bucky said as he placed a plate with a grilled cheese sandwich on it in front of Peter.

“I didn’t just…decide, there was a lot more to it than that,” Olivia spluttered. “Also, you conveniently left out the part where I was forced to work for them, and I paid a pretty hefty price if I tried to refuse. I risked my life for y-you know what, just forget it.”

Peter could see her eyes glint with tears; he looked down at his sandwich, feeling that perhaps this moment and their conversation should have been had in private. Olivia hopped off the counter and was halfway out of the kitchen, but no one seemed to stop her.

“Well done Buck,” Clint said, glancing up at him. “You’re getting exceptionally good at pushing her away.”

“Clint,” Wanda said softly.

“Shut up Barton,” Bucky retorted.

“Perhaps,” Vision said gently, “you should go after her and make some sort of amends.”

Bucky nodded slowly, then, with a heavy sigh, made his way out of the kitchen. Peter finally dared to take a bite out of his sandwich. Olivia wasn’t lying, it was the best he’d tasted. He resolved to tell Bucky that later and thank him profusely for making it in the first place.

“They aren’t always like that,” Tony said with a smile.

“No,” Natasha rolled her eyes, “just usually.”

“Yeah,” Rhodey nodded, “he doesn’t always make her cry.”

“No,” Natasha said again, “just usually.”

“Like I said,” Wanda grinned at Peter warmly, “dysfunctional.”

* * *

Peter had learned a lot about the Avengers and the Avengers compound between Friday evening when he’d got there and Saturday evening. He ruminated on them while he lay across a cushy bean bag, waiting as everyone filed in slowly for a movie night. The most important thing he learned was that Mr. Stark’s generosity seemed to have no bounds; he thought of the shiny new suit Tony had gifted to him. He’d also learned that trainings we no joke and that Captain America was just as intense in real life as he seemed to be on the news. When he wasn’t wielding the shield though, he softened quite a bit.

He learned that Natasha wasn’t all that scary at all and she somehow always had candy on her. Sam and Bucky had mad big brother energy, so did Clint, but he didn’t rag on Peter as much as Sam and Bucky did. He also learned that Clint was fluent in Sign Language, which was cool because Peter had taken a year of Sign and Clint promised to teach him more. It also gave him the chance to communicate in secret with Nat and Clint, since they were the only two who spoke it fluently.

Something that was immediately obvious to Peter was that Wanda and Vision were definitely romantically involved. They were always together, holding hands, or touching each other in some small way. It was sweet, and even though they both kind of intimidated Peter, he liked being around them. He couldn’t tell if anyone else was romantically involved, although he did notice that Clint and Natasha spent a lot of time together, but they seemed to just be best friends.

Bucky and Olivia were a whole other story. He noticed that the fight he’d witnessed the previous day between Bucky and Olivia was not an uncommon occurrence. Neither was the look on Mr. Rogers’ face whenever another one broke out. However, in trainings, they were always at each other’s side, perfectly linked and working as one. Olivia wasn’t always the one to storm out though, Bucky did his fair share of storming out on her. He also wasn’t always the one to start the arguments, she could be just as biting as he could be. It was hard to miss the way that Bucky looked at Olivia when he thought no one else was watching though. His eyes lit up when she entered a room. When she was around, he almost always had a small smile on his face, until they started fighting of course.

Oddly enough, they were the first to arrive to movie night, and they arrived together. Even more strange, they sat next to each other on the small sofa on the far side of the room. They weren’t too close though; they always maintained some sort of distance between each other. Steve came in next and sat in one of the armchairs. It didn’t seem to faze him that Olivia and Bucky were sitting next to each other, so Peter assumed it wasn’t weird.

“What are we watching?” Clint asked as he came in with Natasha. He sprawled out on the floor and Natasha threw him a pillow from the couch where she sat.

“Please, please, if you make me watch Fight Club again, I’m going to lose my shit,” Olivia said, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Liv,” Steve said sternly, “are you serious?”

“Yeah,” she nodded, “it’s not that good.”

Clint threw his cushion directly at her face. She moved to dodge it, but Bucky caught it with ease before it even came close.

“I think he was talking about your language,” Bucky smirked.

“I definitely was,” Steve chuckled.

“It’s okay Mr. Rogers sir,” Peter chirped, “I’m pretty sure I’ve heard…and probably said worse.”

Olivia gave Steve a satisfied smile, tossing her hair behind her shoulder as she did so. Her long curls hit Bucky in the face in the process and he looked over at her glaringly. Peter quickly glanced at Steve to check his face. Based on his expression, Peter knew there was a chance that this could turn into another blowout. He held his breath and waited patiently.

“You need to tame your hair,” Bucky mumbled, inching away from her.

“You don’t have to sit next to me,” she replied.

“Oh yes he does,” Rhodey said as he entered the room, “the rest of us are not trying to hear his questions and commentary throughout the movie. Your dumbass decided to engage rather than ignoring the first time, so now you get to do it every time.”

“Come on Rhodey,” Steve sighed. Rhodey looked over at him and shrugged incredulously. Peter stifled a laugh, not wanting to piss off Captain America.

“I don’t ask that many questions,” Bucky grumbled.

“You talk through every single movie Barnes,” Natasha drawled.

So that’s why Olivia sat next to him. She was the only one willing to put up with his talking throughout the movie. Peter wondered how they spent the entire length of any movie, close to each other, whispering in the dark, without ripping each other’s heads off. Maybe they didn’t actually despise each other as much as they said they did.

“It’s fine Buck,” Olivia said nudging him, “I don’t hate answering your inane movie questions, even if we are seconds away from finding out the answer.”

Bucky grinned at her and shook his head. Peter could feel the room silently pause to watch them, it was a rare moment where they actually seemed to get along and enjoy each other’s company. Plus, Olivia had said something to him that kind of resembled a nice comment. Peter knew enough to know these moments were few and far between.

“Well I answer your inane everyday questions, so maybe you owe me a little,” Bucky said, breaking the moment.

Olivia narrowed her eyes at him as the room erupted into a series of groans. It was Steve however, who protested the loudest.

“Oh Goddamnit Buck,” he said loudly to his friend, “that was almost a nice moment.”

“Steven Grant Rogers,” Tony barked as he came into the room, “that kind of language? In front of the kid?”

“You guys really don’t have to do that,” Peter said, laughing. He was finally starting to feel at ease around them, sometimes picking up on their inside jokes or the things they teased each other about.

“Oh no,” Tony said with a shake of his head, “Cap doesn’t like it when we use foul language, therefore, we are not to use foul language.”

“Tony,” Steve smirked, shaking his head, “you are really something else you know that?”

“Yes, I know,” Tony beamed. “Now, let’s get this movie started, I have shit to do.”

“Wait, we’re here!” Wanda said, pulling Vision into the room behind her. They settled onto the last empty armchair, Wanda sitting in Vision’s lap.

“Has anyone seen Sam?” Bucky asked.

“I haven’t,” Clint said shaking his head, “I don’t know why you’re looking at me.”

“Oh, um I wasn’t,” Bucky said, furrowing his brow in confusion.

“Right,” Clint said with a nod, “no it just looked like you were. Um, I’m actually not feeling well,” he added, standing up. “I’m just going to go to bed early.”

Peter glanced around the room, judging by the looks on the other’s faces he wasn’t the only one who was confused by the interaction. The only person in the room who hadn’t shifted at all was Natasha.

“What just happened?” Tony asked, looking around at the others.

“He was complaining earlier about not feeling great,” Natasha shrugged, “he’ll be fine.” She glanced over at Olivia and Peter suddenly remembered that not only could she influence people’s emotions, but she could sense their moods as well.

He didn’t miss Olivia’s wide eyes or Natasha’s sharp twitch of her head. He didn’t understand it, but no one else seemed to notice, so he dropped it. In fact, he wouldn’t think of it again for the rest of the evening, until the credits rolled, and everyone departed sleepily.

The compound was huge, and it was easy to get lost. Peter probably shouldn’t have stayed behind to grab a snack, but he did, and so he had to navigate his way back to his room alone. He knew instantly that the first turn he’d made was wrong. He doubled back and took a different turn, but that one was wrong too. There were muffled voices in the distance, he took a few steps forward, unable to make them out. Whoever they were, he figured they’d be able to help him out a little.

“I told you, I’m not ready.”

Sam Wilson sounded harsh and angry. Peter paused; judging by Sam’s tone, he was pretty sure the conversation wasn’t meant to be heard by anyone else. Curiosity got the better of him and he moved closer still and was finally able to see Sam and who he was talking to.

Sam was standing against the wall, his hands resting on Clint’s waist. Clint had his forehead pressed against Sam’s. Suddenly Peter remembered the way Clint had acted before the film had started, the look Natasha and Olivia shared. Peter slapped his hand over his mouth to keep the gasp he’d let out from reaching their ears.

“I can’t keep doing this with you Sam,” Clint said softly.

“Clint, please,” Sam said pleadingly, “do you know how difficult this is for me?”

“I know how hard it was for me.” Clint said, placing his hand on Sam’s cheek. “You deserve all the time you need, but I can’t hide who I am, and I can’t keep hiding this. It’s too important to me.”

Sam nodded his head slowly, he looked pained, completely conflicted. He pulled Clint’s lips against his; Peter looked away, the moment was too private, and he’d already stayed for far too long. He didn’t know what to do; if he should silently slip away or let them know that he’d heard everything. The choice, unfortunately, was made for him as Sam pulled away from Clint and caught sight of Peter.

“Fuck,” Sam groaned, dropping his head back against the wall.

Clint took a step back from Sam and turned to follow his gaze. His eyes widened at Peter, “Oh boy,” he sighed heavily.

“I’m sorry! I got lost on my way back and I heard voices and thought I could get help, I’m so sorry! I won’t say anything!” Peter spluttered nervously.

“It’s fine Peter,” Clint said gently.

“Fine?” Sam asked incredulously.

“Sam, relax, he’s not going to say anything,” Clint said. He placed his hand on Sam’s forearm, which Sam immediately yanked away.

“I’m sorry Clint,” he said, “I just can’t. Natasha is on to us, the kid knows. I’m not ready for this, for any of it.”

He slipped away from Clint and stormed off. Clint ran his hand over his face and dropped his head. Peter was too afraid to move, but he desperately wanted to. Finally, Clint turned back to him and mustered a small halfhearted smile.

“Let me walk you back to your room,” Clint said, nodding for Peter to follow him.

“I’m sorry,” Peter said in barely a whisper.

“No,” Clint said with a shake of his head, “this isn’t your fault. Sam just isn’t ready; he might never be, and I just have to come to terms with that.”

Peter couldn’t think of anything to say, so he nodded and followed Clint back to his room. He thought back to the brief moments that he had seen Sam and Clint engage, and couldn’t think of anything that would have given this surprise away. Then again, there were moments that had seemed slightly odd. Shared looks or smiles that seemed secret and not for anyone else. He wondered if anyone other than Natasha and now probably Olivia, had noticed.

* * *

Peter didn’t see Clint or Sam all day on Sunday. Neither came down for breakfast and he wondered if either would show up for the team meeting that Mr. Stark had called and asked Peter to join. He stood anxiously by the Conference Room door, hoping to catch at least one of them to apologize one more time. Tony and Steve were already in the room, getting things ready. Both had asked Peter if he wanted to come in, but he’d made up an excuse to keep them off his back.

Olivia was the first to arrive. Peter smiled awkwardly at her and gave her a little wave. She returned his smile as she walked past him. He breathed a sigh of relief, grateful that she hadn’t stopped to ask him a question. He’d breathed too soon though, at the door she paused and turned to look at him. Her eyebrows were knit together in concern.

“Peter?” she said questioningly, “Are you okay?”

“Uh, yeah, totally,” he lied.

“Okay, well, you aren’t. Your anxiety is palpable. It’s actually making me anxious and that usually doesn’t happen,” she said, crossing her arms over chest.

“It’s annoying when she does that isn’t it?”

Peter jumped at Bucky’s voice and snapped his head to look at the large, looming man. Olivia scoffed and rolled her eyes at him.

“I’m just trying to see if he needs any help Barnes,” she snapped.

“Let him come to you,” Bucky said, walking past Peter and stopping directly in front of Olivia. “Can you move so I can get in?”

“Can you ask nicely?”

“Fine,” Bucky grunted, “move please.”

“Um, I’m really okay Miss Olivia,” Peter said, jumping in, “I just didn’t sleep very well last night.”

Olivia poked her head out from behind Bucky and smiled gently at Peter, “Okay, don’t stress about the meeting yeah? It’s usually just Tony and Steve rambling for twenty minutes or so. Sometimes they bicker, it’s great.”

“Looking forward to it,” Peter smiled back.

“Come on Tiny, let’s go,” Bucky said. He wrapped his vibranium arm around her waist and lifted her off her feet with ease as he moved through the door.

Peter laughed at her shocked and annoyed facial expression. She didn’t struggle against him, but she heard her berate him through the closed door for the next minute or so. As the others showed up, he went through similar conversations. They’d ask why he was standing outside or if he was okay, he’d lie and make up an excuse, then they’d tell him not to worry and leave him alone.

When Sam finally showed up, he paused seeing Peter and briefly moved to turn around. He changed his mind though and walked forcefully towards him.

“I’m so sorry,” Peter said quickly as Sam reached.

“It’s fine kid, don’t worry about it, it’s not your fault,” Sam sighed. “I just…need you to keep it to yourself alright?”

“Yeah of course,” Peter nodded furiously.

“And…just…I’m not…,” Sam winced and scratched the back of his neck uncomfortably.

“Gay?” Peter’s eyes widened at his slip.

“Exactly,” Sam hissed, “so just…don’t think that I am okay.”

“It’s not weird you know,” Peter said. He knew it wasn’t his place, but he felt like it needed to be said. “I mean if you are you are. If you like guys and girls, that’s not weird either. It just is what it is and if you’re lucky enough to have found someone you’re happy with, well, I think that’s worth holding on to.”

He looked up at Sam nervously. Sam was staring at him with a look of awe and confusion. Peter felt his face flush; he tried to smile up at Sam through it.

“You’re not a normal sixteen year old are you?” Sam asked slowly.

“Well no sir,” Peter shrugged, “I shoot webs out of my wrists and climb walls…so you know…normal is kind of out of the question.”

Sam laughed lightly at Peter’s joke. Peter relaxed a bit knowing he’d eased some of the tension. He liked Sam, and he really thought it would be a shame if he’d made an enemy on the team within the first few days of meeting everyone.

“Look kid,” Sam said, clasping a hand on Peter’s shoulder, “I appreciate your little pep talk, but it’s just not really any of your business. I mean it’s all new territory for me and there’s a lot to consider. My best friend is quite literally from the 1940’s and I don’t think he’d really understand. I have family who wouldn’t know what to do, and let’s not forget that we are very much in the public eye and already get a lot of shit for other things that are out of my control. It’s just…too much.”

Peter hadn’t expected Sam to unload on him, but something about it made him feel good. Like maybe Sam felt he was trustworthy enough to hear it all. Or maybe Sam just needed to let it out and Peter happened to be in the right place at the right time, either way, it felt nice.

“Like you said, it’s not my business,” Peter said, “but I think your team is going to take care of you and love you no matter what.”

“Thanks Parker,” Sam laughed, shaking his head. “Let’s go in before they start this meeting without us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I wanted to add Peter into the mix and I thought this would be a fun way to do it! Next update we're back to Bucky and Olivia :) Thank you all for continuing to read! Please don't hesitate to leave feedback or any other comments!


	26. Not Making Assumptions

Bucky was the only person allowed in Steve’s room. However, no one really followed that rule for a couple of reasons. The most important reason being that Steve, other than Tony who had an entire floor to himself, had the biggest room on the compound. In fact, he basically had a one-bedroom apartment with a kitchenette and small living room area. It wasn’t uncommon for him to open the door to his bedroom to Sam, Olivia, Nat, and Clint, or any combination of those four, watching a movie or quietly reading in his living room. They’d usually scatter at Steve’s disappointed scowl, but sometimes Olivia or Sam would linger. Tony too would pop in from time to time and stay for too long, but he built and paid for everything, so Steve had a hard time enforcing the rule on him.

Bucky however, never had to ask to come in, and was never asked to leave. It had been unspoken at first, Bucky hadn’t even realized that Steve had a “no visitors” policy at all. Then one time as Steve was telling Olivia, Natasha, and Clint to leave, Olivia pointed that Bucky was never asked to go. Steve didn’t hesitate in pointing out that he and Bucky had a lot of missed time to make up for, and it was true, they’d spent enough time apart. That wasn’t all though, Steve knew that Bucky needed him, because he needed Bucky in much the same way. They were all each other had from their past. It was something that the others understood but couldn’t fully grasp.

Steve was sitting in his armchair, reading a book, when Bucky stormed into his room and threw himself, face first onto Steve’s couch. Steve didn’t have to ask where he’d just come from to know that he’d been most likely just been with Olivia. Bucky was always just a touch extra dramatic when he’d been with Olivia.

“How’s Liv?” Steve mused, barely looking up from his book.

Bucky’s only response was a loud, frustrated groan, muffled by his face still planted firmly in the couch cushion. Steve chuckled as he set his book aside. It amused him to see Bucky like this, unnerved and rattled by a girl, or anyone for that matter.

“Stop laughing, jerk,” Bucky grumbled.

“I’m sorry,” said Steve, “I can’t help it. I’ve never seen you like this.”

“Seen me like what?”

“In complete shambles, unable to successfully talk to a woman, you know…this.”

Bucky shot his head up, his mouth opening and closing in defiance. He sighed and snapped his jaw shut, then dropped his head back down. Bucky was rarely rendered speechless, but Steve had noticed more than once that Olivia had that effect on him. Others on the compound had their opinions about why that might be, but Steve didn’t indulge them. He wouldn’t make any assumptions about his two best friends.

“What is it about her Buck?”

“There is nothing about her.”

“Okay,” Steve said picking up his book again.

Bucky sighed as he rolled over, “She just happens to be the single most annoying…frustrating, human being I’ve ever met in my entire life.”

“What was the fight about this time?” Steve asked.

“I don’t even know,” Bucky grunted, glancing up at Steve. He rolled his eyes at Steve’s raised eyebrow, “Fine,” he muttered, “I told her the movie we were watching wasn’t very good. I might have used different verbiage, she took offense, started yelling. It got out of hand, somehow I brought up HYDRA.”

“You can’t keep doing that Buck.”

“I know, I know. Sometimes it just slips out though.”

“I don’t get it,” Steve said, shaking his head.

“Don’t get what?”

“You say you can’t stand each other, but you watch movies together, train together, make food for each other…if you aren’t here with me…you’re usually with her,” Steve explained.

“Not true,” Bucky replied, “she hasn’t baked me anything since I told her I’d made up all the criticisms of her desserts.”

“Bucky,” Steve let out an exasperated laugh.

“What?” he asked incredulously. “Sam’s been gone in D.C. and Clint rarely leaves his room these days, Olivia just happens to be around.”

“Alright, well, you know you aren’t supposed to insult your friends, right?” Steve asked.

“First of all,” Bucky laughed, “we aren’t friends. Second of all, you insult me all the time.”

“That’s different,” Steve grinned, “you’re actually an idiot and someone has to keep you in check. And Buck, it kind of seems like you two are friends.”

“Well we aren’t,” Bucky replied. “We’re simply two people who are not only forced to work together, but also to hangout for lack of better options.”

“Okay, whatever,” Steve laughed softly. “I’m actually glad you’re here, you still haven’t made a decision about tomorrow night.”

“Tomorrow night?” Bucky asked.

“The birthday party Stark is throwing me?”

Bucky puffed his cheeks out, letting out a long breath. Steve knew that Bucky wasn’t going to go; the party was in the city and the city made Bucky anxious and uncomfortable. He wasn’t upset about it, Steve himself hardly wanted to go. He hated being the center of attention, but Stark assured him it would be lowkey.

“Yeah, Steve, I don’t think I can,” Bucky said shaking his head, “you know how I feel about the city and parties…and people.”

“I remember when you used to drag me all over the city, to parties, with people,” Steve smirked.

Bucky nodded, a small smile across his face. Steve knew Bucky didn’t always like to talk about what things were like for them in the forties. It was a reminder that he’d been irrevocably changed, that parts of him were possibly lost for good. They were both changed, but Steve could see all the old parts of Bucky along with the new ones too. He wanted to remind his friend of who he had been and who Steve knew he still could be.

“If it’s important to you then I will go,” Bucky said earnestly, “you know that.”

“I know,” Steve nodded, “it’s okay Buck, I’m just jealous that you’re getting out of it.”

“Yeah well, you could always fake sick,” Bucky grinned.

“You know I can’t,” Steve laughed, shaking his head.

“I’m serious Steve,” said Bucky. “I’ll go for you.”

Bucky had proven time and again that he’d do anything for Steve, follow him anywhere. Steve couldn’t ever repay him for what he’d been through for Steve’s sake. It was something Steve would forever feel guilty about, even if Bucky didn’t see any of it that way.

“That’s the important part Buck,” Steve smiled. “You’re okay, really. I know the city makes you nervous.”

“Thanks Steve,” Bucky said, “I appreciate it.” 

There was a knock, on Steve’s door and they both turned their attention towards it. Bucky got up and pulled it open a fraction.

“Oh of course you’re here,” came Olivia’s voice from behind the door. Steve could hear the annoyance in her voice, but he knew she wasn’t actually surprised.

“What do you want?” Bucky asked.

“I need to talk to Steve.”

“I’m sorry, he’s busy.”

“Barnes, I am so close,” Steve heard Olivia grumble.

“So close to what?” Bucky asked, leaning his head against the door.

“Steve,” she called into the room, “if you want to keep Barnes, you need to tell him to lay off.”

“Are you going to kill him Liv?” asked Steve. “Because really that would probably be a little messy for everyone.”

“I don’t know,” Bucky shrugged, “it might be pretty easy to cover up.”

“Great!” Olivia exclaimed. “It’s settled then, I get to murder you!”

“Buck, let her in,” Steve laughed. “I’ve spent way too much time getting you back into my life and I’m not convinced that she’s joking.”

Bucky let the door open and Olivia pushed past him. She sat on Steve’s sofa, kicking her legs up across it so that there was no room for Bucky.

“Move,” he said to her.

“Steve,” Olivia said, ignoring Bucky, “about your party. I’ve been thinking-”

“Wait,” Bucky cut her off, “you’re going to Steve’s party? She’s going to your party?”

“Well yes Barnes, what did you think I was going to do, sit around here alone like a complete loser?” Olivia asked.

“Liv,” Steve groaned, dropping his head back.

Olivia glanced back and forth between Steve and Bucky. Bucky glowered down at her, unmoving. She’d stopped feeling threatened by him long ago though, his unnerving stillness no longer had the effect on her that it had on most people.

“Oh, is that what you’re doing?” Olivia asked Bucky.

“No,” Bucky said, “no, of course not. I mean, Steve is my best friend so obviously I am going.”

“You are?” Steve asked, raising an eyebrow at his friend.

“Yes Steve,” Bucky said through gritted teeth.

“Okay well, great,” Steve said, beaming from ear to ear.

“Great,” Bucky grunted. “Are you leaving now?”

“I haven’t asked Steve my question,” Olivia retorted. “I was about to, until someone rudely interrupted me and made the conversation all about them.”

Bucky sighed and rolled his eyes. He nudged Olivia’s legs with his knee and crashed into the sofa as she reluctantly moved to make room for him. She snorted at him as he stared blankly ahead, a scowl planted across his face.

“What did you want to ask Liv?” Steve smirked. “I can’t promise I’ll have an answer, Tony might be better equipped to help you.”

“I was just wondering what the dress code was,” she said.

“There’s a dress code?” Bucky asked, looking wildly between Steve and Olivia.

“Oh no Barnes, whatever will you wear?” Olivia asked with mock concern. “You’ll have to choose between a black button up or a…black button up!”

Without hesitation, Bucky gently swung the couch pillow he was holding and hit her square in the face. There was little force in his swing, he didn’t want to actually hurt her. She blinked in shock for a moment, then flung herself at him. Steve watched as he allowed her to tackle him to the ground, then, turned on her, pinning her beneath him. He had to repeat “I will not make assumptions” to himself in his head over and over. When Bucky grinned down at her, holding down her hands above her head, Steve whispered it to himself under his breath. Then Olivia actually _giggled,_ and Steve pushed himself out of his chair.

“Not making assumptions,” he said firmly.

“What?” Bucky asked.

They’d both turned their attention towards him. Steve let out an awkward laugh realizing they were both staring at him with confused looks on their faces.

“Nothing,” he said quickly.

Bucky glanced back down at Olivia and their eyes met briefly. Then they scrambled to their feet, struggling against each other. The horrified looks plastered across their faces were too much for Steve; he couldn’t help but snicker.

“I’m just gonna-” Olivia sputtered.

“Okay bye,” Bucky said, avoiding her gaze.

She nodded and moved to leave, but Bucky chose the exact same moment to also move. Bucky grunted as they slammed into each other. They moved side to side, unintentionally blocking each other. Steve chuckled again at their awkward dance.

“Barnes,” Olivia finally snapped, “what the fuck are you doing?”

“Trying to sit, but you’re in my way,” he said, glaring down at her.

“No,” Olivia said, “you are in my way.”

“You’re in mine,” Bucky said with a shake of his head.

Olivia opened her mouth to challenge him. She was cut off by Bucky grabbing her and throwing her over his shoulder. He carried outside of the door and placed her gently back on her feet. She glared at him open-mouthed as he walked back into Steve’s room and slammed the door in her face.

“She’s very annoying Steve,” Bucky said, sitting on the sofa again.

Steve bit his lip to keep from telling Bucky that he didn’t think Bucky actually found Olivia annoying at all. Bucky found the remote control for Steve’s television and clicked it on. He kept his focus firmly on the screen and away from Steve, an indication in Steve’s mind that Bucky was hiding something from him. Steve sat back in his chair; he wouldn’t push Bucky today.

* * *

It didn’t take Bucky long to get ready for Steve’s party. Much to his displeasure, Olivia had been right about his lack of clothing options. Luckily, he had Clint, and Clint was more than happy to let him borrow a deep red button down, dress shirt. The only problem was that Clint was at least a size smaller than he was and he felt like the shirt was too tight. Clint didn’t seem to think it was an issue and assured him that he looked great. Still, Bucky was sure he’d be uncomfortably tugging at it all night.

He was walking down the hall, back to his room, when he passed Olivia’s. Her door was wide open, otherwise he wouldn’t have stopped. She was sitting at the desk in her room with a table mirror propped up, putting makeup on, and singing loudly to the music she had playing in the background. Her long curls were left untouched, cascading down to the middle of her back.

Bucky laughed lightly as she paused her makeup to do a little dance in her chair. She jumped and turned to look over at him. A series of emotions flashed across her face ranging from shock and annoyance, to an expression that he couldn’t quite make out.

“Barnes,” she said turning back to her mirror, “I see you went with something other than black. Interesting.”

He glanced down at himself, trying to ignore the heat rising in his cheeks. She often had that effect on him, it drove him crazy. Mostly because he didn’t seem to have the same effect on her. She seemed completely unfazed by him at all times.

“It’s too tight,” Bucky said automatically.

“Bucky, it isn’t too tight,” she said with a small smile, “it fits you perfectly. You just aren’t used to it.”

“You mean to tell me that none of my other clothes fit?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

She stood and made her way over to him. He took a slight step back once she reached him. It was subconscious movement at her close proximity to him, but she didn’t let it phase her. Instead she reached down and took his hand, lifting it up towards her. She unbuttoned the sleeve and rolled it up to his elbow. When she finished, she took his other hand, his vibranium one, and did the same thing with that sleeve.

“You look good Barnes,” she said, “don’t get in your head about it.”

“You’re being nice to me and it’s very unsettling,” he said to her.

“Yeah, well, I have ulterior motives,” she shrugged. She turned her back towards him and collected her hair, pulling it over her shoulder. “Zip me up?”

Her soft, light blue dress was unzipped in the back. Bucky blinked at her bare skin; it was dotted with freckles. He gulped as he moved closer and reached for her zipper, unsure of why his breathing had become uneven. She shivered as the coolness of his vibranium hand brushed against her skin.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, withdrawing his hand.

“I’m sorry,” she said quickly at the same time.

“What are you sorry for?” he asked.

“I…uh…wait what are you sorry for?” she asked as she glanced over her shoulder at him.

“Cold hand.”

“Oh, I wasn’t…um. No, it’s…you’re fine.”

He didn’t say anything else; he was confused by the interaction. Instead he stood, frozen and disoriented. Her back was still turned to him, but he made no move to help her again. 

“Barnes,” she said finally, “I need this zipped today please. We have to leave soon.”

“Oh, right,” he said, snapping out of his daze.

He pulled the zipper up to her dress; she turned around and gave him a grateful smile. Then the bounced off to her closet and pulled out a pair of black Converse. She sat at the edge of her bed and slipped them on.

“You’re wearing Chucks with a dress?” Bucky asked with a laugh.

“Yes,” she replied. “Problem?”

“No,” he said shaking his head, “I mean it’s probably just the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen but…whatever works for you.”

“Look in that mirror,” Olivia said indicating to the mirror on her desk, “and you’ll see the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“That’s fair,” Bucky nodded as she smirked up at him.

She stood and breezed past him. He caught her hand gently and spun her back around to face him. She looked up at him, her eyes searching his. As their eyes locked it felt as though brilliant current passed between them. He could feel her heart racing…or was it his own?

“You don’t look stupid,” he said, “I don’t know why I said that.”

“You said it,” she said slowly, “because I was nice to you and it made you uncomfortable.”

“Why do you do that?” Bucky asked, his voice barely a whisper.

“Because sometimes I need to make sense of you for myself,” she replied.

* * *

Clint was not having a good time at Steve’s party. The food was delicious, as it always was when Tony threw a shindig. The drinks were flowing, again, as they always were at Tony’s parties. Tony had found a chic restaurant in the city, which he’d rented out in its entirety for the occasion, and Clint had to admit that it was impressively decorated.

The issue, however, was that Sam, was there. He hadn’t seen Sam since the night that Peter had found them in the hallway. Sam had left the next evening, back to his home in D.C. and avoided Clint whenever he was asked to come back. Now, he was here at the party, very openly flirting with numerous women.

Clint had pushed him too far too fast; he knew that. He’d asked for too much of Sam, but he was tired of hiding them. He was tired of keeping such a large part of himself a secret. When Clint had come out to Natasha, the most important person in his life, he’d been terrified. It hardly phased her though, she never treated him any different and she accepted him completely and without any hesitation. He didn’t so much come out to the rest of the team, more or less figuring that they could probably put the pieces together themselves. Things were different for Sam though; he had his family to worry about, and Clint knew telling Steve made him anxious. Clint understood it, but he couldn’t keep hiding who he was, or that he was falling in love with Sam.

What he couldn’t understand was why Sam felt the need to flaunt his flirting directly in front of him. He didn’t need to see it to know that they’re fling was finished. Sam had made that abundantly clear. Clint took a long sip of his drink, glaring at Sam and the latest blonde he’d begun talking to.

Olivia wandered over to the high table that Clint sat at and hopped onto the stool next to his. He didn’t immediately acknowledge her presence. He was unsure of how much she knew. Sam had made it a point to avoid being in the same room together with her, fearing that she’d sense there was something going on between them. Clint could feel her eyes lingering on him now, he must have looked just miserable enough for her to notice.

“This party sucks,” she sighed next to him.

Not the first thing he expected her to say. Either she was saying it to get out of him why he felt it sucked, or she actually meant it. He scanned the room quickly, falling on Barnes being chatted up by a pretty girl with deep auburn colored hair. So, Olivia actually did think the party sucked. Clint glanced over at her with a small smirk across his lips.

“What?” she asked. “It sucks and you know it. Otherwise you wouldn’t be sitting her all alone, you’d be out there talking up some girls…like Barnes over there.”

Ah, Clint nodded to himself, it was a bit of both. He realized he’d never explicitly had this conversation with Olivia. She was fishing for answers and commiserating at the same time.

“He’s not talking anyone up Livvy,” Clint laughed, “she’s talking his ear off and he clearly hates it. Look at his body language-”

“I’d rather not,” she interrupted.

“He’s completely closed off to her,” Clint continued. “And I think you know I would be chatting up men, not women,” he added.

“Yeah,” she said with a small smile, “but you hadn’t said anything, and I don’t like to make assumptions.”

“I can appreciate that,” Clint said, returning her smile.

“So,” she said, eyeing him, “why are you sitting here, alone and grumpy? This party certainly isn’t lacking in attractive and eligible people.”

“Stark’s parties never are,” Clint laughed.

“True,” she shrugged.

He could feel her continuing to watch him from the corner of his eye; he wasn’t sure if he wanted to talk about it. The truth was that he did want to talk about it, but he wasn’t sure that Sam would appreciate it. Despite Sam’s current flagrant displays of flirtation directly in front of him, Clint still didn’t want to hurt him.

“I’m okay Livvy,” Clint said to her. Apparently, he wasn’t convincing enough because she raised her eyebrows at him skeptically. “I’m just not really in the mood for a party, that’s all.”

“Clint,” she said gently, “sometimes I can’t help but feel what others are feeling, not matter how hard I try and block it out.”

“I can’t really talk about it,” Clint said. He took a long swig of his drink. He couldn’t really talk about it, but he suspected that Olivia probably knew more than she was letting on.

“I understand,” Olivia nodded. She glanced out at the crowd and scrunched her nose up in disgust, “For the life of me I can’t figure out what Sam is doing. He has absolutely no intention of taking any of these women home. I mean he hasn’t actually been interested in a single one.”

She took a sip of her drink and glanced at Clint as inconspicuously as she could. His shoulders shook lightly as he laughed quietly to himself. Olivia knew there was something between them, but she wouldn’t say anything. Not to him, not to anyone. He looked up at her and nodded, grateful for her observation. He knew it was for her benefit that she’d said it.

“Let’s get out of here,” Olivia said abruptly.

“Aren’t you Steve’s best friend?” Clint asked, his eyes narrowing at her.

“No,” she said with a shake of her head, “Bucky is. Besides, Steve is pre-occupied.”

Clint glanced around, finding Steve in the middle of a large group of people, Sharon by his side. Then he looked around for Bucky. Sure enough, he was still talking with the red headed girl by the bar. She laughed at something he said, placing her hand delicately on his forearm. Clint heard Olivia scoff lightly beside him.

“She’s trying too hard,” Clint said, “he’s so obviously uninterested and she thinks that getting physical will help.”

“That’s hilarious,” Olivia said dryly, “Bucky does not do physical contact well.”

Clint turned back to her; a knowing smile spread across his lips. Olivia pulled her eyes from Bucky to look at Clint. She pursed her lips at him, seeing the grin on his face.

“Oh stop,” Olivia said, laughing in disbelief. “It’s just a fact. I am far from the only person who knows it.”

“Maybe you should give her some pointers,” Clint said.

“Pointers? On what?” Olivia scoffed.

“On how to get Barnes interested,” he replied.

“You’re hilarious Barton,” Olivia said shaking her head, “really you are. Barnes can’t stand me. He tells me every day how annoying I am.”

“Well you are annoying.”

“I just really don’t think you have any room to talk on who is annoying and who isn’t.”

Clint laughed loudly at her joke. Sam’s head snapped over towards them at the sound of Clint’s voice; their eyes met momentarily. Clint could see the remorse in Sam’s eyes, they were almost pleading with Clint. Then his face hardened, and he turned his attention back to the girl he was talking to.

“Yeah, we should get out of here,” Clint nodded.

Olivia smiled and turned to slide off her chair. Bucky intercepted her, sitting down at their table with a heavy sigh. He was looking at Olivia, his face full of frustration.

“Where have you been?” he asked her sharply.

Olivia glanced over at Clint, confused. Clint shrugged at her; he certainly didn’t have any answers. It certainly hadn’t seemed like he’d been looking for her.

“Um,” Olivia said slowly, “I was getting a drink at the bar, then I was talking to Tony and Pepper, and then I came over here and talked to Clint.”

“You left to get a drink and hour ago, and I was forced to listen to Jessica’s entire life story,” he sighed, running his hand through his hair. “She touched my arm.”

A small smile played at Olivia’s lips as she listened to Bucky’s short rant. Clint shook his head; it seemed like they’d both rather die than admit that they had feelings for one another.

“I’m sorry Barnes,” Olivia said, “I didn’t realize that you wanted me to hang around.”

“Well I certainly didn’t want you to leave me alone with Jessica,” he replied.

“I can’t believe she touched your arm,” Olivia smirked.

“I know,” Bucky said, shaking his head seriously. Olivia started to laugh, and he looked over at her, annoyed. “Oh okay, you think this is funny.”

“I’m sorry Barnes,” she said, covering her mouth. Her hand over her mouth did little to stop the fit of giggles.

“Okay I’m going home,” Bucky said, standing.

“Oh, stop Barnes,” Olivia said, jumping up too. “Clint and I were just about to head out and do some exploring. Come with us.”

“There’s a 24-hour donut place around here, their donuts are immaculate,” Clint chimed in.

Bucky looked between the two of them, his gaze resting on Olivia. Clint knew that Bucky rarely turned Olivia down, but he seemed to have his mind set on this one.

“You know how I feel about the city Tiny,” Bucky said, “it was hard enough for me to even make it here tonight.”

“Yeah,” she nodded, “of course. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have even asked.”

Bucky groaned at her and dropped his head back in frustration. Olivia moved forward and placed her hand gently on Bucky’s forearm, giving him a soft smile. He softened at her touch and Clint could almost see the tension leave him. Apparently, he did fine with physical touch when it came from Olivia.

“Bucky,” she said gently, “stop, don’t stress.”

Bucky smiled at her, a genuine smile that Clint didn’t see on him very often. Other than when Olivia was dying in Bucky’s arms, Clint didn’t think he’d seen a kinder interaction between the two. He wondered if they were aware of their walls coming down for each other, he wondered too why they were fighting it so aggressively.

“I have really been craving donuts lately,” Bucky said. “They better be the best damn donuts I’ve ever tasted,” he added to Clint.

* * *

“Okay,” Bucky said, popping the last bit of his donut into his mouth, “these are the best damn donuts I’ve ever tasted.”

“I’d never lead you astray Barnes,” Clint said, starting in on his third donut of the night.

“It’s so good,” Olivia said gazing adoringly at the half eaten pink sprinkled donut in her hand, “but I seriously can’t take another bite.”

“Weak,” Bucky said, snatching it from her.

“No,” Olivia said, leaning her back against the table behind her, “you just missed me scarfing down the first one.”

“One and a half donuts,” Bucky said to her, “weak.”

“I hate you Barnes,” Olivia groaned.

She placed her hand gently on her stomach. She didn’t care if she looked weak, her stomach felt like it was about to explode. They ordered a dozen donuts for the three of them, Clint had pitched two dozen, but Olivia was firm that she wouldn’t be able to eat more than two maybe. Clint sat beside her at one of the small outdoor tables, chowing down on donuts. Bucky was sitting on the table, his feet up on the bench beside her.

The small donut shop was actually more of a donut stand, without any sort of indoor seating, so they were forced to sit outside. It was a nice night though; they were lucky that Steve’s birthday was in July. A breeze blew past them and Olivia shivered slightly. Bucky passed her the hoodie he had across his lap.

“Thanks,” she said as she put it on. She tried to block out the memories of the last time she’d worn his jacket. The night at the beach was not a night she liked to remember.

A young couple, crossing the street caught her attention. Her heart sunk into her stomach as she recognized the young man. New York was a popular city, apparently popular enough to bring in her ex-boyfriend and his stunning girlfriend. Once they crossed the street, they turned towards the donut shop and Olivia’s heart dropped faster.

“Oh no,” she breathed, sitting up rigid.

“What’s wrong?” Bucky asked, looking down at her anxiously.

“That’s my ex,” she said, indicating towards them.

“Wesley?” Bucky asked.

“No,” she said shaking her head.

“The gay one?” Clint asked.

“Does he look gay to you?” Olivia seethed.

“Nope,” Clint said, as Olivia’s ex leaned down to plant a kiss on his girlfriend.

“Exactly,” Olivia said. “No this is the one I wasted two years of my life on, just to get dumped by him over the phone. He didn’t even have the courtesy to do it in person.”

“He dumped you over the phone?” Bucky said, glaring up at the young man.

“Fuck,” Olivia spat as he glanced over at them.

He squinted his eyes at her, then stood up straight, waving at her with a smile. Olivia did her best to control her eyes from rolling too far back in her head.

“Olivia?” he asked, walking towards them.

“Why would he come over here?” she asked through gritted teeth.

Bucky moved behind her, placing his legs on either side of her. He leaned in against her and draped his arms around her shoulder. Then he pressed her lips against her hair.

“What are you doing?” Olivia asked, keeping the fake smile plastered across her face.

“Just go with it Tiny,” he said in her ear, “do that annoying giggle thing that you do.”

“I don’t giggle,” she hissed.

“Yes, you do,” he said, “it’s adorable…and annoying…it’s mostly annoying.”

Olivia did as he said and giggled, leaning into him. He brushed her hair back off her face and grinned as he kissed her cheek. Clint shook his head as he laughed, thinking that they made this fake relationship look way too easy.

“Olivia, I thought it was you!” the young man said as he reached them.

“Jason, hi!” Her voice shot up three octaves at least.

“Wow, it’s really good to see you,” he said, smiling at her. The blonde at his side tugged gently at his sleeve and he turned to her, grinning broadly. “Olivia, this is my fiancé, Emily.”

“Oh fiancé, wow,” Olivia said, plastering the smile to her face. She stood to shake the girl’s hand, “That is so exciting!” she said, faking the joy in her voice.

“It is,” Emily said smiling sweetly.

“Who are your friends?” Jason asked, nodding towards Bucky and Clint.

“I’m Clint,” Clint said with a wave, “Barton.”

“Do I know you?” Emily asked, blinking at him.

“Uh, probably,” Clint laughed.

Bucky nudged his arm to shut him up. Clint nodded, it wasn’t the time or the place. Bucky stood and walked over towards Olivia, Emily, and Jason. Olivia was struck by how easy he looked walking towards them. He was good at faking things, that was for sure.

“I’m-”

“James,” Olivia cut in quickly, “this is James.”

“James,” Bucky said, shaking Jason’s hand, “Olivia’s boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend?” Jason said, letting out a shocked laugh. “Wow, okay, you’re um…huge.”

“Weird thing to say,” Bucky chuckled. He placed his hand around Olivia’s waist and gently pulled her against him.

“Where did you two meet?” Emily asked, giving Jason as small, sharp glare.

“Uh,” Olivia breathed.

“Mutual friend,” Bucky said. “Actually,” he added with a laugh, “we couldn’t stand each other at first, if you can believe it. I couldn’t stop thinking about her though. I just…wanted to be with her all of the time.”

Olivia’s head snapped up to look at him. He was already looking down at her. She hadn’t realized how good at acting he was or how quickly he thought on his feet, but damn were those some nice words. They would have fooled anyone, they almost fooled her.

“That’s so…sweet,” Emily said, eyeing them awkwardly.

“I don’t know if ‘sweet’ is the word I’d use,” Olivia said, smirking up at Bucky, “he’s definitely something though. Always keeping me on my toes, that’s for sure. And his smile…when he smiles,” she hesitated, watching his cheeks flush with color, “he literally takes my breath away.”

She knew he was going to kiss her before his lips met hers. He cupped her face in his hands and when their eyes met, she knew it was going to happen. She didn’t move as he leaned in, pressing his lips softly against hers. His lips were warm and gentle, she couldn’t help but smile against them. Olivia felt uncontrollable, intoxicated by him. She shivered as he moved his hand down and across her lower back, like she’d shivered in her room when she’d first felt him against her the skin of her bare back. She hadn’t been cold, just surprised at how it had made her feel. She wrapped her arms up around him, her hands slid down, lingering at the nape of his neck, drawing him closer. He moved his hands down to her waist and pulled her body into his. He parted his lips against hers, kissing her deeper.

“Um…guys?”

Olivia and Bucky’s lips parted as Clint’s voice rang out in their ears. His hands were on her face again and their foreheads were pressed together. Olivia was vaguely aware that her entire body was trembling slightly. He smiled at her and breathed out a small laugh.

“Your ex and his fiancé are gone,” Clint said awkwardly.

Bucky’s eyes widened at Olivia; her mouth dropped open. They pushed away from each other, remembering why they had kissed in the first place. Bucky ran a shaky hand through his hair as he turned away from her. Olivia pressed her hands to her cheeks, trying to cool them off and hopefully reduce the bright red color she knew they were.

“James? Really?” Bucky snapped, his back still turned to her.

“Well, I couldn’t very well tell them your name was Bucky,” Olivia laughed.

Bucky glared at her over his shoulder, then went to snatch the donut box off the table. He began to walk off, Clint and Olivia trailed after him.

“Bucky wait,” Olivia called catching up to him.

“Oh, so now Bucky is an acceptable name?” he said, glancing down at her.

“I have to ask,” she said, with a small smile, “when was your last kiss before that one?”

“Oh no,” he said shaking his head, “you absolutely don’t have to ask that.”

“I don’t know Barnes,” Clint teased, “I think you should answer it.”

“Fine,” he said, “my last kiss before that one was Jessica, in the hallway by the bathrooms right before I came to look for you. Happy?”

Olivia halted on the sidewalk. She was not happy, in fact for some reason, his response made her blood boil. She wasn’t sure if she was angrier that he’d actually kissed Jessica, or that he’d kissed Olivia so soon after he’d kissed another girl. She had to remind herself that she had no claim on Bucky and that he was free to kiss whoever he wanted, as often as he wanted.

“Wow,” Olivia said, “I guess mine was a lot longer ago. Months ago even, when I kissed Steve.”

Bucky spun on her. She couldn’t make out his expression, so she dropped her wall and reached out to him through their connection. He shook his head at her slightly, she could feel him forcefully pushing her away.

“You kissed Steve?” Bucky said in a low voice.

“Yeah,” she nodded, “the first time though, he kissed me.”

Bucky’s jaw clenched. He turned back around and started off again. Clint lingered beside her as she let Bucky get far ahead of them. Finally, he turned to her and shook his head lightly.

“What the hell Livvy?” he asked.

“What?” she asked incredulously.

“Why would you tell him about Steve?”

“What does it matter? Why would he even care?”

“Because he has feelings for you,” Clint said.

“No,” Olivia said with a shake of her head. “The things I did to him Clint, they’re hard to forgive. He reminds me of them all the time. It's easy to care about a person, especially when you work with them so closely the way we do. We can pretend to be friends and fake cordial conversations for the sake of the team, each other…Steve. But those things…they don’t just go away.”

"I think you're wrong," Clint said, shaking his head. "I mean look at how he reacted to you and Steve."

"He's probably angry that Steve didn't tell him," she sighed. "Trust me, he's made it abundantly clear that we're nothing more than friends of convenience. Besides," she added sadly, "I would have felt it. It's hard enough to keep the connection at bay when we make physical contact. That kiss...made it near impossible. He's a good liar, my ex believed it, you believed it, that's it."

Clint placed his hands on Olivia’s shoulders and gave them a gentle, reassuring squeeze. She swallowed back her tears. Punishing herself in this way didn’t seem unfair for all the pain she’d caused Bucky. She didn’t deserve his forgiveness.

“Come on Livvy,” Clint said, taking her hand in his, “let’s get you home.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Thank you all for continuing to read and please don't hesitate to leave comments, questions, ect. Much love! :)


	27. Happy Birthday Steve

It was late when Steve got home. His plan had been to get in bed and crash immediately, it had been a long night and he knew it would be easy for him to fall asleep. Something felt off when he walked into his quarters though, so he clicked on the lights in his living room. Bucky was sitting on Steve’s sofa, he looked up at him, squinting slightly as the lights went on.

Steve hesitated by the light switch; Bucky didn’t usually just sit in the dark, something must have set him off. He remembered seeing Bucky leave with Clint and Olivia. Something probably had happened with Olivia now that he thought about it, it was the obvious answer. He had figured that having Clint around would curb some of their arguing, allegedly not.

“Uh, you okay Buck?” Steve asked gently.

Bucky glanced up at Steve upon hearing his voice. He shook his head lightly and gave Steve a small inexplicable smile.

“I uh…just…why didn’t you tell me that you were in love with Olivia?” he asked. “I mean, here I am telling you everything and you’re keeping this huge thing from me.”

“I’m not in love with Olivia,” Steve said. He wasn’t entirely unsurprised by Bucky’s question; he’d knew it’d come up eventually. He’d gotten lucky before, dodging it entirely when he’d asked about Olivia, but he knew eventually Bucky would put things together.

“Steve,” Bucky sighed, “I need you to just be honest with me, please.”

“I am being honest with you Bucky,” Steve said, finally moving to sit in the armchair. “I am not in love with Olivia. I was in love with Olivia, but she never quite returned the sentiment. It hasn’t been easy, but I had to move on. So, no Buck, I am not in love with Olivia.”

Bucky nodded, he looked like he was working hard to process Steve’s words. If Bucky thought he could stake out for Steve in his room to ask him questions about his love life without Steve coming back with questions of his own, he had another thing coming. Steve waited though, allowing him time to work through Steve’s words.

“You kissed her,” Bucky said.

“Yes,” Steve nodded, “we kissed twice.”

“Why didn’t you tell me Steve?” Bucky asked, groaning through his words.

“A couple of reasons Buck,” Steve said. He ran his hand through his hair as he searched for the right words. “For one thing, I didn’t think Olivia would appreciate my going around telling people about it, least of all to you. And for another, I just wasn’t sure it was something that you’d want to hear.”

“What are you talking about?” Bucky laughed.

“C’mon Buck-”

“Steve-”

“No, Bucky listen,” Steve said sharply, “you didn’t just show up in my room in the middle of the night to ask me about my relationship with Liv for no reason. I’ve been honest with you, now it’s your turn.”

Bucky stood abruptly and stormed towards Steve’s door. Steve didn’t move, instead he watched Bucky hesitate by the door.

“I need a break from her Steve,” Bucky said without turning to look at Steve.

“Why Bucky?”

“Steve.”

“Bucky, why do you need a break from Olivia?”

“It’s too much for me Steve,” Bucky shot, finally turning to face him. “It’s too much to be around her, everything is so complicated.”

“Bucky are you in love with her?” Steve asked.

“No,” Bucky said firmly. He sighed and pulled his hair back, “I don’t know. I’ve never been in love Steve. Is constant infuriation a symptom of being in love with someone?”

Steve chuckled, he didn’t know what to tell Bucky, because honestly, the “constant infuriation” seemed like a cover for something else. To be fair, Steve was unsure himself if Bucky was in love. All he knew was that he’d watched his best friend interact with countless women and he’d never seen Bucky act the way acted with Olivia towards any of them.

“I don’t know Buck,” Steve shook his head.

Bucky gave him a half-hearted smile. He shrugged his shoulders; Steve was still getting used to seeing his friend so unsure of himself.

“It doesn’t matter anyway,” Bucky said. “I’m not right for her. Everything about me is toxic and it bleeds into our friendship, if you could even call it that.”

“Bucky, please, give yourself more credit,” Steve said gently. “You don’t see what everyone on the outside sees. She looks at you like you light up the room. The connection you two share, surely you can feel her.”

Bucky’s cheeks flushed lightly. Of course, he didn’t know that Olivia looked at him that way. Bucky couldn’t tell that Sam thought he was unironically one of the funniest people he’d ever met, or that Tony and Rhodey would choose his cooking over a fancy restaurant any night. He didn’t realize that Peter quite literally idolized him, he didn’t know that Natasha looked to him for fighting tips. Bucky didn’t even see that he was quite literally Steve’s world. So of course he wouldn’t see the way Olivia lit up whenever he entered a room, the smile she had for Bucky and Bucky alone.

“I wouldn’t disrespect her privacy like that,” Bucky scoffed, “you know I wouldn’t.”

“Yeah,” Steve nodded, “I know. I think you should talk to her. You should have a real honest conversation with her. No fighting, no arguing, let your guard down and talk to her.”

“Space Steve,” Bucky said finally, “I need space from her.”

Steve sighed as he stood. He wouldn’t convince Bucky of anything; he wasn’t even sure if Olivia could at this point. He made his way over to his desk and pulled open a drawer. There was a set of keys at the bottom, when he found them, he pulled them out and walked them over to Bucky, placing them in his hand.

“They’re to the flat I rent in Brooklyn,” Steve said as Bucky examined them. “I haven’t used it in a while, you’re welcome to stay there as long as you want. If we need you for a mission, I’ll let you know. We’ll pair you up with Sam or Clint until you’re ready.”

“Thanks Steve,” Bucky said, smiling sadly at his friend.

“For the record, I don’t think this is the right move,” Steve said.

“I know,” Bucky nodded. “Will you just…take care of her?”

“Yeah Buck,” Steve smiled, “yeah. You know I will.”

"Oh," Bucky said, before turning to leave, "Happy birthday Steve, I hope I didn't completely ruin it."

Steve laughed and clasped a hand on Bucky's shoulder.

"Don't worry Buck," Steve grinned, "you can make it up to me with an amazing birthday present."

"Got it," Bucky laughed. "Thanks Punk."

"Jerk," Steve winked.

* * *

Steve wasn’t sure if Olivia was still awake. He knew it was late, and that most likely she was asleep, but something in his gut told him that his night was far from over. When he got to her room, he pressed his ear against her door. There was a sharp thud and a rustling sound, she wasn’t asleep at all. He knocked lightly and waited, listening as she made her way to open the door for him.

After swinging the door open, she took one look at him, nodded slightly, then made her way back to the center of the room where she chucked a knife directly into the wall. She wasn’t surprised to see him; she probably already knew that Bucky had left. Steve sighed heavily as he stepped through her doorway and took a seat on her bed.

“Tony is going to lose his shit when he sees what you’ve done do his wall,” Steve said teasingly, trying to make things light.

“Why are you still awake?” Olivia asked, ignoring him completely.

“Couldn’t sleep,” Steve lied.

“Right,” Olivia nodded. She picked up another knife and threw it hard into the wall, grunting as she released. “Well, happy birthday Rogers, hope it was a good one.”

“Rogers, wow,” Steve said, “you must really be pissed at me if you’re using my surname.”

“I’m not,” she said shaking her head, “I just don’t know why you’re in my room at three o’clock in the morning, when you’ve just had a wild birthday party.”

“Why are you still up?” Steve asked.

“Shouldn’t you be with your girlfriend? Why didn’t you go home with her?” Olivia asked sharply.

“Sharon isn’t my girlfriend,” Steve sighed, “we’re just feeling things out. And she lives in Washington D.C. That’s why I didn’t go home with her.”

“Did Sam go back with her then?”

“I don’t know Liv.”

“He’s being an idiot you know,” Olivia said, plucking her knives from the wall, “running away from his problems.”

“Well, he won’t talk to me about it,” Steve said. He rubbed the back of his neck, unsure if Olivia was talking about Sam or Bucky. Either way his statement was true. “Kind of seems like that’s the theme of most of my friendships these days.”

Olivia turned to look at him, placing her hand on her hip as she did so. He thought she looked mildly annoyed, but something in her eyes softened as they met his. She placed her knives down and moved to sit next to him.

“Bucky’s gone,” Steve said.

“Yeah,” she nodded, “I know.”

“Did he tell you?”

“Not exactly. He feels far or…um distant, I guess. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s cut me off entirely by tomorrow. Are you okay?”

Steve chuckled as he shook his head. She was more concerned about how Bucky’s leaving affected him, while he had been worried about how she would handle it. He sighed, dropping back onto her bed. She followed suit, staring up at her ceiling beside him.

“I’m fine Liv,” he said, “are you okay?”

“I don’t know,” she said slowly, “I don’t think so.”

“Yeah,” Steve nodded, “that’s fair.”

“It’s my fault. I pushed him too far this time.”

“I don’t think it’s your fault. Bucky’s struggling Liv, you have to understand how difficult it is assimilating to this new life. He didn’t wake up in a world where he was America’s hero.”

“No, I know. Still, I make him so angry and I don’t know how to stop. I know what to say to make it worse though. I told him that we kissed.”

Steve didn’t tell her that Bucky had already told him as much. He didn’t think Bucky would want him to divulge that information.

“Why Liv?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” she breathed. “I was angry with him…jealous, I guess. He kissed that girl he was talking to all night.”

“He was talking to her for a total of twenty minutes Liv. He was with you most of the night, you’re the one he left with,” Steve told her.

“Steve, it doesn’t matter,” she said through a bitter laugh, “none of it matters. He left and it’s because of me. He can’t handle me. So even if what you’re implying were true, and he did have feelings for me, he’ll never admit it to himself because he can’t handle it.”

Steve rolled over on his side to face her. A string of tears escaped her eye and fell gently down her cheek. He reached over, brushing them away with his thumb.

“You’re both so stupid,” he said softly.

Olivia laughed and wiped her other cheek. She sniffled as she turned to face Steve. He brushed her hair behind her ears, giving the most reassuring smile that he could manage.

“I’m serious,” Steve said, “I’m pretty sure all of your problems would be solved if you to just talked to each other.”

“Oh yeah okay,” Olivia said sarcastically, “as if Barnes and I could stop arguing long enough to actually talk to each other for any length of time.”

“Well then my point still stands,” Steve laughed, “you two are stupid.”

This time Olivia didn’t laugh, she mustered a small smile, but her eyes had grown sad. Steve went back to stroking her hair, her eyes closed against his touch. A soft ache tugged at his chest; he wished that they’d been able to make it work. It wasn't meant to be though, and he was finally okay with it. There was little that was more important to him than Bucky's happiness, and as much as he didn't want to speculate about his friends, he knew that Olivia made Bucky happy. He was too scared to see it though, but he would...hopefully. 

“Do you think he’ll come back?” she asked softly.

“I hope so,” Steve nodded. “I think eventually he will.”

“Good,” Olivia smirked, “I’m going to kick his ass when he does.”

“Damnit Liv,” Steve laughed, rolling back onto his back.

Olivia giggled beside him, but he knew she wasn't joking entirely. She wiggled beside him and placed her head gently on his chest. He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her against him. 

"Happy birthday Steve," she whispered, "hopefully next years doesn't suck as much."

"Thanks Olivia," he chuckled lazily, "my birthday isn't actually until next week though, so you still have time to get my birthday present in."

"You're an idiot," Olivia said, letting out a sleepy laugh.

She fell asleep against him quickly, and eventually, Steve fell asleep too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter was short, but I wanted to put something out before the next story driven, more action packed chapter. Thank you all for continuing to read! I appreciate you all sticking with me, I know I'm putting you through it with this slooooow burn ;) I promise it'll be worth it! Love you guys! Hope you all enjoyed!


	28. Buildings Tend to Crumble When They're on Fire

It was cold on the rooftop, but Bucky was used to the cold. Sam, however, wasn’t as used to it as Bucky was; he shivered lightly beside Bucky. Typically, New York nights in early mid-October were breezy, but as the night slipped into early morning, the temperature dropped significantly. They’d been working on this mission together for weeks. While it had also been the primary focus for the rest of the team, they seemed to have made little headway.

Bucky and Sam had been on countless stakeouts at this point, but there was one thing they didn’t talk about. Olivia. Sam hadn’t actually been living at the compound either, so even if Bucky had wanted some information, he’d have little to give. Bucky knew that Sam still dipped in from time to time though and that if he really wanted to know how she was doing; he’d be happy to answer. Bucky couldn’t bring himself to ask though, he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear that he’d made her miserable and irreversibly pissed off or that she was doing great without him; he wasn’t sure which would be worse to hear about.

Sam yawned; his breath formed wisps as he breathed out. Bucky glanced over at him, then handed him his unfinished coffee cup. Sam took it, but didn’t sip right away, instead he raised a confused eyebrow at Bucky.

“What?” Bucky asked.

“You’re just…giving me the rest of your coffee.”

“Yeah.”

“Barnes, I know how you are about your coffee.”

“Well…your shivering and yawning is super distracting. I just figured you could use it more than me.”

“Barnes.”

Bucky sighed at Sam’s skeptical gaze. He shifted slightly, allowing his tense muscles a brief reprieve; he’d been sitting still for too long.

“Fine,” he said curtly, “it’s making me anxious tonight.”

“Alright well you have cooties so…” Sam said holding Bucky’s coffee cup back out to him.

Bucky laughed as he shoved away Sam’s hand. Sam grinned and took a sip; moments like this made Bucky appreciate Sam’s company on evenings like these ones. He had a way of making people feel at ease, and if Bucky couldn’t have Olivia, Sam was top of the list of people Bucky felt comfortable working with.

“How’s D.C.?” Bucky asked Sam.

There was a brief pause where Sam shifted uncomfortably next to Bucky. He took another sip of coffee, which seemed more like an attempt to give himself a little extra time to compose himself.

“I moved back onto the compound about a week ago,” he said, eyeing Bucky cautiously.

“Why are you being weird about it?”

“Dunno,” Sam shrugged, “I guess I thought you’d be pissed that I didn’t tell you.”

“You didn’t tell me why you left either and that didn’t piss me off.”

“I guess.”

“Sam, what is it,” Bucky sighed.

“Nothing Buck,” Sam shook his head unconvincingly. Bucky narrowed his eyes at him, and he threw up his hands in defense. “Alright fine, I just think that maybe you should think about moving back too.”

“Oh,” Bucky chuckled. “Yeah, no, I’m not ready.”

“Steve misses you,” Sam said, “Tony misses your cooking. Liv hasn’t had a decent cup of coffee since you left, it’s made her miserable to live with.”

Bucky’s body tensed at the sound of her name. Sam had broken their unspoken contract to not mention her name. He’s been doing a spectacular job of pretending like he hadn’t been thinking about Olivia constantly. Now that Sam had brought her up freely, Bucky couldn’t just bottle it back up.

“Sam,” Bucky sighed, dropping his head, “why would you bring her up?”

“She misses you too,” Sam said softly. “At least I think she does, I’m not entirely sure because she also talks a lot about how much she hates you.”

“So, nothing’s changed,” Bucky smirked.

“I know you think you’re slick, but we all see the way you look at her. Maybe it’s time to stop all this schoolyard bullshit and tell her how you actually feel,” Sam said as he nudged his shoulder into Bucky’s.

“Did you ever consider that I left because I didn’t have feelings for her, and I didn’t want to hurt her?” Bucky asked, raising an eyebrow at Sam.

“No not really,” Sam said, shaking his head firmly.

“Well,” Bucky laughed, “maybe you should have.”

“Not buying it.”

“Whatever feelings she thinks she has for me; she needs to get over them,” Bucky said. “I mean, we can’t even be in the same room for longer than ten minutes without biting each other’s heads off. And let’s not forget that I actually tried to kill her at least once. She should be with Steve. Clint, she likes him. Or…you know, you. Just…anyone other than me.”

“You’re an idiot,” Sam said with an exasperated laugh.

“It’s toxic Sam,” Bucky said, “I’m not good. I’m barely a whole person. Once she realizes that, once she realizes that I can’t be everything that she needs me to be, she’s going to leave and hate me more for allowing it to happen.”

Bucky avoided Sam’s stare. He could feel it, it was piercing, and judging, and he absolutely could not look. Sam was the first person he’d really gotten into all of this about. It was too hard to talk to Steve about it. Steve put him on a pedestal and had the tendency to forgive the transgressions of Bucky’s alter ego too quickly. Bucky knew that Sam held him more accountable for those things, Sam understood that Bucky and the Winter Soldier were intwined forever, that they were the same person and could not so easily be separated.

“Barnes,” Sam said gently, “you aren’t the Winter Solider, you aren’t what they made you do. She knows who you really are.”

Never mind. Bucky pressed his lips together, apparently, he couldn’t rely on anyone to understand where he was coming from.

“Damnit Sam,” Bucky groaned.

“And none of us are whole. We all have our demons; do you even know Liv’s?” Sam asked.

“It’s different,” Bucky said firmly.

“Alright Buck,” Sam sighed. “She’s not going to be with Steve though, she isn’t in love with him. And she won’t be with Clint either.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes, I do know that.”

“Sam, come one you can’t possibly know that.”

“Clint doesn’t like girls Bucky.”

A smile spread across Bucky’s lips as he was reminded of the two young men he’d seen on the beach. He didn’t know how, but Sam’s revelation just made sense. He glanced over at Sam, who’d suddenly become incredibly interested in the Styrofoam cup in his hands.

“That makes sense,” Bucky said with a shot nod. “You moved out because of Clint, didn’t you?”

“Yeah,” Sam nodded. He looked up at Bucky, fear in his eyes.

“You love him?”

Sam was quiet for a few moments; Bucky was uncertain if he’d crossed a line. Sam didn’t usually bring up his love life, in fact Bucky had never heard him talk romantically about anyone. Bucky remembered back to the night when Clint had snapped at him for asking where Sam was, had they been involved with each other for that long?

“Yeah,” Sam sighed. “I am, I’m in love with him.” Sam released a small breathy laugh, “Wow, I haven’t actually said that out loud.”

“You mean he doesn’t know?” Bucky asked.

“No,” Sam said, glancing downward.

“What happened Sam?” Bucky questioned his friend. He wasn’t one to press, but it occurred to him that Sam hadn’t actually talked to anyone about all this. Sam was free to tell him to shove off and mind his business, he wouldn’t be offended.

“I don’t know,” Sam said shaking his head, “this is all new to me. I’ve never been with another man. The thought of telling…anyone terrified me and that wasn’t fair to Clint. He couldn’t keep hiding it and I wasn’t ready for anyone to know.”

Bucky nodded as he listened. He’d never been in love, and he’d certainly never had to hide any of his relationships from the rest of the world. There was little that Bucky could say that would be helpful for Sam. He was surprised that Sam had chosen to tell him. Maybe Sam was just sick of keeping things to himself or maybe he truly trusted Bucky, either way Bucky appreciated it.

“Sam,” Bucky said, apprehensively placing a hand on his friend’s shoulder, “if you really love him, I don’t think you should just…let that go.”

“It’s not that easy though Buck,” Sam said shaking his head. “I’m actually surprised that you’re taking this so well.”

“Why?” Bucky laughed.

“You’re from the forties,” Sam deadpanned, “not really a time where this kind of a thing was widely accepted.”

“No that’s true,” Bucky nodded, “but it wasn’t as uncommon as I’m sure you think it was.” He chuckled lightly, but Sam stayed stoic. Bucky pressed his lips together, finally understanding one of Sam’s biggest concerns. “You don’t have to worry about Steve,” he said gently, “Steve respects the hell out of you, you mean the world to him.”

“I know,” Sam said unconvincingly.

“Do you?” Bucky asked.

“Yes,” Sam said, a little more firmly this time, “that doesn’t change who he is or how he grew up.”

“I disagree,” Bucky said with a shake of his head, “Steve wants to see you happy and that’s it. That’s all he wants for any of us. He doesn’t care who you’re with, trust me.”

Sam was quiet for a long moment. He was staring so intently at the building in front of them that Bucky thought maybe he’d seen something of interest. When he looked out though, there was nothing there, so Bucky waited.

“None of this matters anyway,” Sam sighed, finally, “I fucked things up with Clint. It’s over, he won’t even look at me.”

“Talk to him,” Bucky said, trying to reassure him.

“Talk to Liv,” Sam smirked.

“Completely different situations,” Bucky grunted turning from Sam.

He heard Sam snort beside him, but he didn’t acknowledge him anymore. They turned back to their silent surveying. Bucky’s anxiety creeped back over him, he’d hardly realized that it had dissipated during his and Sam’s conversation. Now that it was over, his heart began to beat irregularly again, his focus became muddled as his stomach ached. For a brief moment he wanted nothing more than Olivia’s presence beside him. Her presence alone would have been enough to calm him.

“Man, I’m so tired of this,” Sam groaned softly, “I wish these HYDRA guys would give us something…crumbs at least.”

“I’m never going to be rid of them, am I?” Bucky sighed.

It was an offhanded comment, he’d hardly meant to say it. He could feel Sam’s eyes on him though and knew that Sam was concerned. The entire thing had been triggering for him, how could it not be? Bucky didn’t sleep for days after Steve had told him that they’d caught word that there was a new leader of HYDRA and they were gaining traction. The team was split, working on finding out various details, most importantly who their new leader was. Steve and Tony were convinced that they were working on something of their own, but they couldn’t figure out what. Bucky didn’t want to say out loud what he feared to be true, that they were looking for him.

“Hey,” Sam said, placing a hand on Bucky’s shoulder, “you know you can ask to be put on leave, right? You can sit this one out and no one would fault you for it.”

“Yeah,” he nodded, “I know. I’m not going to do that though.”

“Of course, you aren’t,” Sam laughed, shaking his head. “You know, Steve tried to get Liv to sit this one out too.”

The pit in Bucky’s stomach grew. He had no idea that Olivia was working on this mission as well. It probably should have occurred to him that she would be, she was a skilled member of the team after all. He just didn’t think that Steve was dumb enough to include her on a mission where she was likely to be a target. 

“I’m sorry,” Bucky said with a slight shake of his head, “you said he tried?”

“She’s an adult Buck,” said Sam, “and she’s safe.”

“Safe?” Bucky retorted. “What part of this do you think is safe?”

“She’s with Steve,” Sam told him, “and Nat and Clint. So, I mean, she’s about as safe as she can be.”

Bucky nodded, while all of that was mostly true, Bucky knew she’d still be safer with him. Another thing crossed his mind and he silently kicked himself for not thinking about it sooner. If HYDRA was looking to get Bucky back, they were probably trying to get Olivia as well.

“Damnit Sam,” Bucky groaned, “why would you tell me this?”

“You needed to know,” Sam shrugged. “Come on Buck, you know Steve isn’t going to let anything happen to her.”

“Right,” Bucky said shortly, “no, yeah for sure. Steve’s got this.”

Scoffing and grunting, Bucky pulled out his phone to text Steve, his thoughts on the matter. He produced a scathing text and hit send immediately. Three small dots popped up as Steve attempted to respond. They stopped and started more than once, then stopped altogether with no message at all. Bucky growled at his phone, he hated it, the stupid dots, it was a stupid contraption designed to agitate its owners beyond belief. He was just about to tell Sam as much when his phone buzzed aggressively in his hand. The number that flashed across his screen was one he didn’t recognize; he glanced over at Sam, who raised an eyebrow at him.

“Don’t answer it,” Sam said.

“What if it’s Steve?”

“Okay it probably isn’t.”

“What if it is and he’s in trouble or what if something happened to Olivia?”

Bucky’s mind began to race as the buzzing in his palm seemed to get more and more aggressive. Sam held his gaze, his eyes cautious, warning Bucky not to answer the phone. Finally, it stopped, together Bucky and Sam seemed to release a sigh of relief. Not a moment later was it buzzing again. Sam shook his head lightly.

“I’m sorry Sam,” Bucky said sliding the screen to answer. “Hello?” he asked, pressing his phone to his ear.

“We have her in the building you’re casing. You have two minutes to give yourself up, or she dies.”

Bucky clenched his jaw as he looked up at Sam. He didn’t recognize the voice, but he knew that whoever it was, was talking about Olivia. The other line clicked; Sam focused his eyes on the building across the way.

“Don’t do anything stupid Buck,” Sam cautioned him in a low voice. “It could be a bluff.”

“What if it isn’t?” Bucky said, showing Sam his phone. The mysterious number had sent a message, a timer, counting down two minutes.

“Why would they kill her Buck?” Sam asked. “They probably want her just as much as they want you.”

“I don’t have time to think about it,” Bucky said, grabbing his things as he stood.

“Bucky wait,” Sam gripped Bucky’s arm, “we have to think this through, call her, call Tony or Steve or…I don’t know…anyone.”

Bucky slid his phone open and hit Olivia’s number. Her phone didn’t even ring before going straight to voicemail.

“That could mean anything,” Sam said sharply.

“Let go of me, Wilson,” Bucky said, yanking his arm from Sam’s grip. “Make your calls, I don’t have time for this.”

Sam hissed sharply as Bucky took a running jump off of the rooftop. He looked over the side of the building, to where Bucky had landed with a thud. Bucky sprinted off towards the building across the way as Sam pulled out his phone and dialed Steve’s number first. When there was no answer, he called Natasha next.

“What Wilson?” she asked sharply.

“Tell me you have Olivia,” Sam breathed.

“She’s right next to me, why?” Natasha asked.

“Shit, shit, shit!” Sam exclaimed. He popped his wings open and glanced around for Bucky, but there was no sight of him. “Why isn’t she answering?”

“She lost her phone two days ago,” Natasha said, “Sam what is going on?”

“Put her on the phone,” Sam barked.

“A please would be nice,” Natasha drawled.

“What’s up Sam?” came Olivia’s voice.

“Nothing,” Sam lied, “just don’t hang up okay?”

Sam leapt off the roof, he scanned the dark streets as he flew over, looking for any sign of Bucky. The minute he spotted Bucky, Sam dove to land beside him. A blast from the building, sent them both flying backwards. Sam’s ears were ringing, and he struggled to catch his breath. He sat up, gaging his surroundings. The building was on fire, his phone was on the ground next to him, presumably still on the line with Olivia, and Bucky was running full stop, dead ahead directly into the flames.

* * *

Bucky’s head was throbbing, his chest felt heavy and his lungs burned with every breath he took. He hurt everywhere, dull aching in some places, in others he felt sharp, agonizing pains. It took him a solid minute or two to pry his eyes open. Steve sat in a chair beside him, glancing down at his phone. He looked up, wide eyed at Bucky as he heard Bucky rustle.

“Buck,” he breathed, “how are you feeling?”

“Where’s Olivia?” he groaned, “Is Olivia okay?”

“Bucky,” Steve laughed, his voice soft, “yes. She was never in any danger. Sam tried to warn you, but it was too late.”

“Sam,” Bucky said, trying to sit up. The movement sent a sharp pain across his abdomen and he inhaled sharply.

“Sam’s fine,” came Sam’s voice on the other side of him. He reached out his hand, placing it on Bucky’s shoulder and pressed him back down against his pillow. “Sam had to pull your ass out of a burning building, but he lived and so did you, so I guess we’re okay.”

“Here,” Steve said, handing Bucky a glass of water. “You lost the privilege of picking your partner by the way.”

“No,” Bucky scoffed with a shake of his head, “I can’t work with her again.”

“Well, you should have thought about that before you decided not to listen to anyone else,” Steve replied, raising his eyebrows at Bucky. “Don’t worry, you won’t be getting back out there for a while.”

“Guess I didn’t get that accelerated healing then,” Bucky grumbled.

“Oh no,” Tony said entering the room, “you’ve definitely got it. Otherwise you’d for sure be dead. You my friend have four broken ribs and a smattering of second and third degree burns. Your shoulder dislocated, don’t worry, Wilson popped that right back in for ya, but it’s probably going to hurt for a bit. And let’s not forget about the lung damage you’re suffering right now from the smoke inhalation.”

“Awesome,” Bucky groaned, “no let’s not forget that.”

“You’ll probably be in here for about a week,” Steve said, squeezing Bucky’s arm reassuringly. “We don’t know for sure; you and I heal at different rates.”

“How the fuck did I break my ribs?” Bucky asked.

“Good question,” Tony quipped, “Sam?”

“Well Buck,” Sam sighed, “buildings tend to crumble when they're on fire.”

“Shit,” Bucky groaned.

He bit his lip, as he turned to look at Sam. It felt like a lot of effort on his part to get his neck to turn his head all the way to the side.

“I’m sorry Sam,” he said, “I should have listened to you.”

“Yeah,” Sam nodded, “you should have.”

“Thank you for pulling me out,” Bucky added, giving him a small smile.

“Next time I run into a burning building I expect you to pull me out and then we’ll go ahead and call us even,” Sam grinned.

“You should probably get some rest,” Steve said.

Sam nodded at Steve and they both stood to leave. Tony lingered by the door; his face twisted into an uncomfortable grimace.

“Yeah, he’s not going to be able to rest just yet,” Tony said, scratching the back of his neck.

“Tony,” Steve groaned. “What was the one thing I asked you to do?”

“Okay, well, she can literally feel him all the time,” said Tony, “and it’s not like you’re any better at getting her to…you know…not do things.”

“Is she angry?” Bucky asked. Bucky knew they were trying to keep Olivia from seeing him, he also knew it was likely because she was furious with him. He was exhausted and in so much pain, the last thing he wanted to do was argue with Olivia. She also happened to be the only person he wanted to see at present.

“Angry?” Tony asked in a high pitch tone, “No I wouldn’t say angry. It’s hard to be angry with someone who ran into a burning building for you…even if you weren’t actually in it.”

Steve opened his mouth to say something but was cut short by Olivia slamming the door open. She stood in the doorway, glaring at Bucky. Her small frame rising and falling as she caught her breath from all the storming about. Bucky felt the corners of his mouth turn up; he could never understand how someone so little could hold so much rage inside of them. He felt it though, pouring off of her. She was having a hard time controlling herself and Bucky had zero energy left to spare, there was no chance of blocking their connection.

“What the fuck Barnes?”

Her voice cracked as she spoke, and her entire body softened with it. Bucky could feel her relief, he could also feel her fear. He realized that she hadn’t known what to expect when she’d burst in the med wing. Whatever it was, she must not have expected him to look as bad as he did.

“I think maybe a ‘thank you’ is a little more appropriate,” Bucky muttered.

“I wasn’t in the building you idiot,” she said, her lip quivered slightly.

“Well I didn’t know that.”

“Sam did!”

She threw her arm out, gesturing to Sam. His eyes widened as he glanced between them and he threw his hands up defensively.

“Do not put me in the middle of this,” he said quickly.

"I didn't know that Sam knew either!" Bucky exclaimed.

His outburst threw him into a coughing fit, which in turn made his ribs ache. He clutched his abdomen as he struggled to return his breathing to some kind of normal. Olivia was staring at him wide eyed, her body was tense, as though she were stopping herself from rushing to his side. 

“Come on Liv,” Steve said, placing his hand on her waist, to usher her out of the room, “Bucky doesn’t need this right now, you can yell at him when he’s in a little less pain.”

Bucky knew his eyes lingered too long on the hand Steve had on Olivia’s waist when Steve snatched it away quickly. Olivia nodded, her eyes still glued to Bucky, he tried to give her a reassuring smile to let her know he was okay.

"I'll be right out," Olivia said to Steve, Sam, and Tony.

Each of them nodded and filed out of the room one by one. When they were gone, Olivia turned back to Bucky. He could tell that she was doing her best to not breakdown completely. Her body trembled slightly and her eyes glinted from unfallen tears. 

"Are you going to be okay?" she asked softly.

"Stark assured me that I would be," Bucky nodded.

She moved forward slowly and stopped at the side of his bed. For a few brief moments she stood awkwardly, looking down at him. Her hand twitched at her side; Bucky felt that she wanted to reach out and touch him. It was then that realized that there wasn’t much of him that wasn’t bruised, burned, or bandaged. Her hand stayed at her side. She situated herself gingerly beside him on the bed, careful not to aggravate any of his wounds. Then, she very cautiously moved forward, pressing her forehead gently to his. Their noses brushed, her lips were close enough to kiss. Bucky knew that wasn't her intention though. Still, she was making it very difficult for him to catch a breath. 

"You're a very stupid man," she told him, "but I am glad that you are alive." 

"Thanks," Bucky grinned.

"Don't think that any of this gets you off the hook Barnes," she added sternly, "I am very angry with you for a multitude of reasons, and mark my words, once you're better, I'm going to kick your ass."

"Got it," Bucky nodded. He suppressed a laugh, afraid to throw himself into another coughing frenzy. His ribs still throbbed from the last one. 

"For now though," she said, "I'm just glad that you are alive."

"You mentioned that," he said, smirking at her.

"You're a dick Barnes," she laughed as she pulled away from him. 

He wanted her to stay, but he didn't have it in him to ask. She lingered beside him and for a split second Bucky wondered if she could feel his unspoken desire. Her eyes searched his and she opened her mouth, then closed it quickly, rethinking whatever it was that she intended to say. Silently she reached out and ran her hand through his hair, brushing it gently back, then she leaned down and kissed him lightly on the cheek. She left the room without another word. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a bit late! I've been working on it as well as working on two classes and just a million other things. Thank you so much for continuing to read my story and I hope you enjoyed the chapter! As always, don't hesitate to leave any thoughts, comments, or questions! 
> 
> Much Love!


	29. Late Night Fights, Some Suffering , A Revelation

“I didn’t have my fucking phone Barnes! I lost it remember?”

“How exactly was I supposed to know that? And how did you just lose your phone?”

“Well maybe if you hadn’t fucking left for three and a half fucking months without contact anyone, you would have fucking known!”

“I did contact people; I just didn’t contact you!”

“Fuck you Barnes!”

Steve didn’t even flinch at the loud slamming of Olivia’s door.

“You know it starts to lose its meaning when you say it every other fucking word!”

Steve did flinch slightly at the sound of Bucky’s door slamming, but only because it sounded like he may have broken it. Tony grumbled something beside him; their eyes met briefly, before being interrupted by Natasha throwing Steve’s office door open and glaring at them furiously. Wanda stood sleepily behind her, looking less than enthused.

It was late evening…maybe even early morning and this was not the first time in the past couple of days that Bucky and Olivia had woken up the other members of the team. Before long, Sam and Rhodey had joined them, and finally, Clint squeezed his way in.

“Clint? You too?” Tony asked with a tone of surprise. Clint was the only one who could sleep through their screaming matches. He cited it as one of the benefits of his deafness and being able to take out his hearing aids.

“I was trying to watch a movie,” Clint mumbled.

In total, it had been nine days since Bucky’s dramatic return to the compound. Bucky had left the med wing within a few days of being there, despite Tony’s warning and Steve’s protesting. He insisted that he was fine, but of course he wasn’t. He still winced anytime he moved and spent a majority of his days sleeping off fatigue or headaches. Somehow though, he still found the energy to wind up Olivia and the strength in his lungs to scream at her until he succumbed to fits of coughing.

“You have to do something about this Steve,” Natasha growled. Steve was mildly surprised at how tired she looked. She was usually calm and collected, but there was a rage behind her eyes that frightened him a bit.

“What exactly would you have me do Nat?” Steve asked, pressing a finger to his temple.

He of course was exhausted from it too, and it didn’t help that he and Tony had been spending late evenings together, pouring over and processing information from their latest mission. It was far from over, and Bucky’s encounter with the unknown number and exploding building, presented more questions. The yelling and scream at odd hours made it impossible for him to focus.

“I don’t care what you do,” Natasha snapped, “I want to sleep.”

“Why does it always have to be at one in the morning is what I want to know,” Rhodey said, leaning back against the wall behind him. He closed his eyes and let his head drop lightly to the side.

“It’s not just at one in the morning,” Wanda yawned, “it’s anytime they’re in the same room together for longer than five minutes.”

“What are they doing in the same room together at one in the morning?” Rhodey asked incredulously.

“I don’t know,” Steve sighed. “It’s almost like despite how much they despise each other, they also can’t stand the thought of being apart. I think she feels guilty, so she checks up on him to make sure he’s okay, which of course he isn’t, but he won’t let her see that. They fight, she leaves, he feels guilty for turning down her help. It’s a mess.”

“I thought we were past this,” Sam grumbled. “I thought they were making progress, moving forward. I was convinced they were at least on their way to being friends.”

“People backslide,” Clint said.

Sam’s head snapped over to Clint in response, but Clint kept his head down, refusing to meet Sam’s eyes. Instead Clint dropped into one of Steve’s chairs and kicked his feet up on the desk, leaning back on the chair’s back legs.

“Do you think it’s safe to go back to bed?” Rhodey mumbled.

“Possibly,” Steve replied.

“It’s also entirely possible that one of those idiots texts the other something stupid and the fighting starts again,” Tony chimed in.

Like clockwork the sound of a door swinging open was heard in the hallway. It was Olivia’s, the sound of her storming was much softer than the sound of Bucky’s. They all listened as she threw his door open. He said something to her, but for once he wasn’t yelling so they couldn’t make out his words.

“Barnes, I swear to God, you’re being such a fucking asshole,” Olivia said in a loud angry voice. “No,” she said in response to something he’d told her, “you can’t just text me asking for a favor when you’ve just spent the last half an hour refusing my help and screaming at me!”

Steve smirked, because apparently Bucky could do exactly that and she’d comply. The rest of the team was still and silent, listening to their conversation, hoping it would end the fighting and they’d be able to go back to bed.

“You were screaming at me!” Bucky protested.

“Oh shit, here we go,” Rhodey groaned.

“No, I’m done,” Natasha said shaking her head, “I’m tired and I want to go to bed.”

She slipped out of the room as Olivia started in on Bucky again about various transgressions. Everyone waited with bated breath at her footsteps down the hallway.

“Alright that’s enough,” they heard Natasha say sharply. “You two need to shut the hell up. Barnes just take the goddamned pain meds…stop talking, you can’t take your meds while you’re talking. Liv go back to bed…no I don’t want to hear it, get the hell out of Bucky’s room. Now, stop texting each other and go the fuck to sleep!”

Two doors shut a little quieter this time and moments later Natasha slipped back into Steve’s office. She glanced around at the awed faces of her teammates. A smirk spread across her lips and she gave them a little shrug.

“That fixed tonight, but seriously Steve, you need to figure something out,” Natasha said, “I’m not doing this with them every night.”

“Well…neither of them will talk to me.” Steve flicked a balled-up scrap of paper from his desk to avoid sounding too annoyed.

“No offense Steve,” Rhodey said, “but you’re not really the one they need to be talking to.”

Steve tried to keep his face in check as he glanced up at Rhodey, but the frustration rising in him made it near impossible. Rhodey lips pressed together and raised his eyebrows at Steve, he shrugged slightly. It was one of those looks that Rhodey often gave when he knew he was right and the person he was talking to needed to know it. Steve hated it because Rhodey was usually right.

“Rhodey’s right Steve,” Sam spoke in a low voice. They all knew they were in sensitive territory with Steve now. Steve decided not to acknowledge them for a moment.

“Steve…” Tony pressed.

“Yes, I know,” Steve said, sharply cutting Tony off.

There was something Steve and Tony hadn’t told the team yet, something that was eating at Steve; he hadn’t really slept in days because of it. Telling the team was one thing, telling Bucky and Olivia was going to be something else entirely. He wasn’t ready to talk about it; the look he gave Tony said as much. Tony nodded, understanding Steve’s meaning.

“What’s going on?” Natasha asked, raising an eyebrow at Steve and Tony. She hated being left out of the loop, and for good reason. She was as much a team captain as Steve or Tony.

Tony looked up at Steve for approval to tell. He sighed and nodded, they were going to know sooner or later. It was probably best to tell them early, so that they could brace themselves for when they eventually told Bucky and Olivia.

“Well,” Tony started, “Soon Olive and Barnes are going to have all the time in the world to talk.”

* * *

As the room cleared out, Clint brushed past Sam. His heart skipped a beat as he breathed in Clint’s familiar scent. His hand twitched as he had held it back from instinctively reaching out to catch Clint’s hand in his. Clint kept his eyes forward and off of Sam. Sam glanced around, Steve and Tony had gone back to their work, talking in hushed voices. The rest of the team had dissipated, but Clint, who had chosen to sit the farthest from the door and had been the last one out, trailed off to his room alone.

There was absolutely no hesitation as Sam moved to silently follow Clint. Their rooms weren’t far apart, if anyone saw, there wouldn’t be much to think about. He kept his distance, hanging back a few feet, partly because he didn’t want to startle Clint, partly because he wasn’t entirely sure why he was following him, or what his plan was.

Clint stopped just outside of his bedroom door. Sam watched as his shoulders fell and his head dropped back. Clint sighed heavily, then turned to face Sam.

“What are you doing Sam?” he asked, shaking his head softly.

“I don’t know,” Sam replied honestly. “Following an impulse, I guess.”

“Why did you come back to New York?” Clint’s voice was low, uncertainty laced every word. He watched Sam cautiously, keeping the distance between them.

“I thought that was obvious,” Sam said. He took a slow, calculated step towards Clint. Clint held a hand up, forcing him to stop.

“It wasn’t,” Clint said simply. “Don’t feel too bad though, I thought it was obvious that I wanted nothing to do with you.”

“No, that was obvious,” Sam scowled. “Clint I’m sorry, I was so stupid.”

“Was?” Clint asked, his head cocking to the side. “Have you told Steve then?”

Sam pressed his lips together, huffing out a heavy breath. His head dropped a little as he shook his head ‘no’. Clint laughed in disbelief. He crossed his arms over his chest and bit his lower lip.

“So, nothing has changed,” Clint said, “and what exactly do you want me to do with this? With you? You’re the one that ended things, you’re the one who left. And now you come back with secret sad eyes and longing looks. What exactly were you expecting?”

“I don’t…I mean…Clint,” Sam sputtered.

“Oh,” Clint nodded, “did you want me to just forget everything and run into your arms…in private of course? Should I just let it go that you paraded countless women in front of me at Steve’s party? Made a point to prove to me just how uninterested you were.”

“Clint, please,” Sam pleaded, “I was stupid…I was such an idiot. I fucked up big, so big. And it doesn’t matter that I was absolutely terrified, that isn’t an excuse. It was just…so dumb…please.”

Clint’s eyes softened a bit. His body remained tense and alert though. More than anything he wanted to forgive Sam, and maybe he could have if Sam had handled things differently. The leaving, the women, it was all too much for Clint. Now, Sam was standing in front of him, doing the bare minimum and he couldn’t fathom forgiving him, not yet.

“I can’t Sam,” Clint breathed, “you hurt me. The breakup was one thing, I could have handled the breakup. But the leaving, the women, the way you still can’t tell your best friend about us…I can’t be your dirty little secret Sam and I’m sorry but this display is just too little too late.”

“I told Bucky,” Sam said quickly.

“Great,” Clint chuckled bitterly, “you told the only other person in the world who might be as romantically constipated as you.”

“Have you met Tony? Or Steve for that matter?” Sam asked, grinning slightly. He knew it wasn’t the time for jokes, but he couldn’t resist. Besides, it was hardly a joke.

“Okay we’re done here,” Clint said.

He turned abruptly away from Sam. Without thinking Sam reached out and grabbed Clint’s hand, he spun Clint back around. Clint didn’t protest, staring Sam down fiercely instead. Sam slid his hand up Clint’s sinewy arm, smirking as Clint shivered at his touch. He rested his hand at the base of Clint’s neck; Clint breathed out unevenly his own hands on Sam’s waist, pulling Sam’s body against his. Slowly, Sam leaned in, waiting for Clint to tell him to stop. Sam’s lips had barely grazed Clint’s when he heard a door, somewhere behind them open. He pulled himself away from Clint and jumped back, putting more distance between them than before.

“Wild night huh guys?” Rhodey asked as he walked past them. He paused at the elevator and turned towards them; an eyebrow raised. “What are you two still doing up?”

“We were just going to…uh finish that movie Clint was watching,” Sam lied, “but I don’t know, I’m almost tapped out for the night.”

Rhodey nodded, but Sam wasn’t sure he bought it. “Well, I was just going to grab a midnight…two in the morning snack, you know…normal stuff.”

“Right,” Sam said, “enjoy.”

Sam kept his eyes locked on Rhodey as he entered the elevator and the elevator doors closed. His heart raced and the thought of turning back to face Clint. He hated himself for what he’d just done, and he was terrified of Clint’s reaction. When he did turn finally turn back around, he was met with an empty hallway and Clint’s closed door.

* * *

Olivia glanced down at her phone on her bed next to her. It had buzzed twice sharply, indicating a new text message. This was the second time in five minutes that it had buzzed, the first time had woken her from a peaceful nap. She groaned as she read Tony’s text messages, surely, he didn’t need her downstairs right this minute. Her eyes had barely closed before her phone buzzed again, Tony had sent her a very aggressive “NOW”, which meant that he apparently did need her downstairs right this minute.

She rolled out of her bed and pulled on a black knit sweater over her dark blue tank top and black yoga pants as she departed from her room, annoyed that Tony hadn’t given her time to change. The elevator was already occupied when she reached it. Bucky was leaning against the back wall, his head dropped against the stainless steel, eyes closed. The gray, short sleeve shirt he wore showcased the dark bruises the littered his arm. A bright red burn mark traveled up from his elbow, beneath his sleeve. She knew that it went up to his shoulder and covered most of the right side of his back, where a burning piece of building had fallen on top of him. His face was bruised too, the stitched up cut on his left cheek was deep, but it looked like it was starting to heal. It was hard for her to look at him, every wound was a reminder of her culpability in the situation. The whole thing was her fault and so she overcompensated with him, becoming frustrated when he refused her help.

Olivia entered the small space as quietly as she could, he’d obviously had a rough night. She wondered if he’d actually taken the pain meds after Natasha left, or if he’d ignored her as well. Her finger slid across the touchscreen, telling the elevator where to take her, then she moved to stand beside him.

“Going down Tiny?”

His voice made her jump, she thought she’d done her best at being quiet, apparently not. She glanced up at him, his eyes were still closed, and smirk played on his lips.

“Yes,” she replied, “I’m sorry Barnes I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

“You didn’t,” he said, rolling his head from side to side.

“Oh…okay…well good.” Her eyebrows knit together in confusion and she looked back up at him. “How did you know it was me?” she asked.

“Your scent,” he replied.

Olivia was surprised by his answer. At any other time, she probably would have pressed him further, but his face was pale, completely drained of color. He looked uncomfortable and tired, his short answers told her that he was probably saving his breath and energy to keep him standing, so she didn’t push it. He slid his back along the wall so that he was right beside her, then leaned his body against hers. She grinned and snorted but buckled her knees and braced herself to hold him up.

“Sorry about last night,” he mumbled.

“It’s fine Barnes,” she replied, “I’m sorry that I’ve been…on you. Obsessively trying to make sure that you're okay.”

“I’m not.”

She snapped her head up to look at him; his eyes were still closed though. His response had surprised her, mostly because he had been acting like she was the bane of his existence. He refused her help at pretty much every turn and told her to go away almost all the time. The tip of his tongue slid across his bottom lip; she watched his Adam’s apple bob in his throat as he gulped.

“Don’t get me wrong,” he added, “you are incredibly annoying. But…um…it’s nice that you care.” He paused, his lips pressing together as he grimaced. “That all came out wrong.”

The elevator stopped and the doors opened in front of them. He finally opened his eyes to look at her. He watched her reaction carefully, afraid that he'd gone too far this time. Her face remained unchanged though, she kept her honey eyes dead ahead, avoiding his gaze altogether. 

“That came out wrong Tiny,” Bucky said again, nudging her lightly.

“Barnes if I move, you’re going to fall over,” she said, ignoring his words entirely, “and I have to get off this elevator now. So…”

“Right,” Bucky nodded. He winced, pulling himself up and off of her.

They moved for the elevator doors at the same time, accidentally blocking each other from exiting. Bucky stood back and gestured for her to head out first. He was still watching her, his eyes had gone from curious and cautious to apologetic, but she still ignored him. If she responded, it would turn into an argument, and she knew he wasn’t physically capable of arguing at present. The last thing she wanted was to be responsible for any more of his pain.

“Did Steve need to see you too?” Bucky asked, following Olivia towards the briefing room.

“No,” she said, halting abruptly. She turned to face him raising a quizzical eyebrow on him. “Tony needed to see me.”

Bucky’s forehead creased, eyes narrowed, as he looked ahead. He moved forward, placing his hand gently in the small of her back, shifting her to the side as he passed her. She inhaled sharply at his touch, which he seemed to take no note of. It was jarring how physical he was being with her, leaning on her in the elevator, and now this. Small touches like these, she’d learned, were just another way that Bucky apologized. He wasn’t good with his words, so he used physical acknowledgement instead.

He continued onward into the kitchen, and she followed quietly behind him. Steve, Natasha, and Tony were at the briefing room table, waiting patiently. Bucky didn’t sit immediately upon entering the room and Olivia followed suit, standing beside him in solidarity.

“Whatever this is,” Bucky said gesturing to the empty table in front of him, “I really don’t have the energy for it.”

“Gee, if only someone had warned you about the dangers of leaving the med wing before you were ready,” Tony said flatly.

“Stark,” Bucky said warningly.

“Yes Barnes?” Tony asked. “You look like crap by the way, like you’re gonna tip over at any given moment. Maybe you should sit.”

“Tony,” Steve groaned.

Bucky glared at Tony, but waivered slightly where he stood. Olivia noticed that his breathing had become shallower and more labored, an indication that the pain in his ribs was getting worse. The longer he stood without any support, the more excruciating the pain would become. She wrapped her hand around his cool metal wrist and pulled him towards a chair.

“I’m fine Olivia,” he grunted, pulling his wrist from her grasp.

“Just sit,” she said through gritted teeth, “before you pass out.”

“I’m not going to pass…” The sharpness of his tone and fervor with which he came at her, caused his breath to hitch in his stomach. He groaned in pain as he doubled over, bracing himself on the chair in front of him.

Olivia took a silent step forward, resting her hand gently on his forearm. He turned his head towards her, giving her another apologetic look. She wasn't always this patient with him, but she was always this ready to help him. He felt ashamed at the way he'd treated her the past few days. If he hadn't been so worried at her seeing him in moments of weakness, perhaps the fighting would have been at the very least, less.

“Come on Bucky,” she said, helping him sit in the chair.

“Well that was a bit dramatic,” Tony said.

“Shut up Stark,” Bucky grumbled.

He had doubled over against the table and was resting his head on his metal arm. Olivia lifted herself onto the table, forgoing a chair. She'd never seen Bucky look more defeated or vulnerable. A surge affection caused her to scoot herself beside him and place a hand softly on his back. When he didn’t make any move to protest, she gently dragged her fingers back and forth, careful to avoid the space where she knew he was burned. He shivered slightly, causing him to hiss in pain and she pulled her hand back quickly away from him. He reached up lazily and caught it, bringing back towards his back.

“Uh, okay, so we’re friends today?” Tony asked. He shrugged incredulously at Steve’s harsh, disapproving look.

“Watch it,” Natasha told Tony in a sharp voice.

“Just get on with it Tony,” Olivia said dryly, “you woke me up from a perfectly good nap. One that I would really like to get back to.”

Steve glanced at Tony and Natasha. They both responded by giving him small nods of their heads, Natasha also added a small reassuring smile. He turned back to Olivia and Bucky, his eyes falling on his dilapidated looking friend.

“You good Buck?” Steve asked. Bucky nodded in response, his eyes were closed as he tried to manage the pain and return his breathing to normal. “Alright,” Steve said, letting out an uneven sigh, “as you know, HYDRA is back in a pretty big way, gaining traction quickly. Tony and I think we know who might be partly responsible for heading this endeavor. We think it’s Zemo.”

Olivia felt every muscle in Bucky’s body tense at the name. Her hand slid down his back as he sat up slowly. She left her hand on his forearm, hoping it did even the smallest bit to calm and reassure him.

“I thought he was locked up in some underwater prison in the middle of the Atlantic,” Bucky rasped. His mouth had gone dry, he was trying not to let the panic overwhelm him.

“Not anymore,” Tony said with a shake of his head. “There was a security breech. Look Barnes, that phone call, the burning building, we don’t think it was a ploy to get you back on their team.”

Bucky squinted at them, shaking his head in confusion. His eyes locked with Steve’s; the sheer alarm told him everything he needed to know. He nodded his head slowly at his best friend, understanding what Tony was saying. Olivia on the other hand was still looking at both of them, her eyebrows cinched in perplexation.

“I don’t understand,” she said with a shake of her head, “if they don’t want Barnes, then why did they lure him into that building?”

“They blew up the building Olive,” Tony said, each word slow and deliberate.

A small gasp escaped Olivia’s lips; her hands flew to cover her mouth. Bucky was completely frozen beside her; he’d rather be dead then go back to being HYDRA’s number one asset, but that didn’t mean he found the revelation that they were trying to off him any less terrifying. He knew how effective they were when they wanted something done, and somehow, they already knew his weakness was Olivia.

“What do we do?” Olivia asked in a firm, determined voice.

“ _We_ take care of it,” Natasha said gesturing to Tony and Steve beside her, “with the rest of the team. You two go into hiding, somewhere remote.”

“What?” Olivia said, shaking her head. “No, that’s ridiculous, I’m not going anywhere. That doesn’t even make any sense.”

“Liv,” Steve said gently, “why do you think we brought you down here with Buck? This isn’t just about him, it’s about you too.”

Olivia opened her mouth again to argue with Steve. Bucky put his hand on her knee and gave it a mild squeeze, pulling attention towards him. She looked down, furiously into his eyes. He met her glare with a firm look of his own.

“Olivia, they want me dead,” Bucky said. “They want you back.”

“Okay, whatever,” Olivia said furiously, “that doesn’t matter. What matters is that they’re trying to kill you and the more people we have to counter that the better our chances. I’m staying and working the mission.”

The corner of Bucky’s lip turned upward as he listened to her. The warmth and gratitude he felt towards her in the moment was astounding. He dropped his forehead onto her knee, overwhelmed by her headstrong attitude towards keeping him safe. Her fingers were interlaced in his hair immediately; she didn’t understand his head on her knee, but she was overwhelmed herself with the fierce need to protect him.

“Olive,” Tony said, “I appreciate you, we all do, but we can’t risk losing you either. If something happens…if they get their hands on you-”

“Isn’t the risk part of what I signed up for?” Olivia asked cutting Tony off. “It’s just an occupational hazard.”

“You’re more vulnerable Liv,” Steve said, his jaw set. “HYDRA isn't actively trying to capture any of us to use as a personal mind manipulation tool.”

“Oh, come on Steve,” Olivia scoffed, “like HYDRA wouldn’t be thrilled to murder anyone of you. As if we aren’t all on their hit list.”

“Bucky got the call,” Tony said, “none of us did. And what happened to your phone y the way? Do you know? Because I tracked it to a HYDRA base. They now have all of your information. Your personal messages, photos, all of it.”

“It’s how they knew you and Bucky are close,” Steve said.

“We are not close,” Bucky mumbled against Olivia’s thigh, “we’re work partners and that’s it. It’s different.”

“Okay, whatever,” Tony shrugged, “but the pictures on both of your phones tell a different story. It’s easy to assume.”

Olivia’s face went bright red as she remembered the pictures from the beach that she had downloaded onto her phone. The one she'd chosen for his contact photo was especially incriminating, as it was one of the pictures that had been taken of the two of them. She was on Bucky's back, their heads were turned towards each other laughing together. Bucky huffed into her leg, she wondered briefly what pictures he had on his phone that could have possibly been as bad.

“I don’t have any pictures,” Bucky mumbled again.

“Oh my god,” Tony said, dragging his hand over his face, “Steve, a little help? Please?”

“Right,” Steve said jumping in, “look, the bottom line is that somehow, HYDRA figured out that Bucky would run into a burning building for you Olivia. And I wouldn’t be surprised if they had plans to use Bucky’s death to lure you to them somehow.”

“Again, an occupational hazard,” Olivia shot, “any of you could die fighting HYDRA.”

“Olivia, stop,” Bucky groaned, his head still down against her leg. “You’ve hardly left me alone since I ran into a burning building because I thought you were in it; I assume from guilt. Can you imagine what it would do to me if something happened to you while you were out there fighting for me?”

“What would it do to you Barnes?” Olivia asked sharply.

He tilted his head up towards her, staring at her like a deer in the headlights. She raised her eyebrows at him expectantly.

“I’ve already told you once that I can’t lose you,” Bucky muttered, “do I really have to say it again? Or can we just assume that nothing’s changed?”

“We could, except you left for four months and didn’t bother to keep in contact, so it’s natural for one to assume things had changed.”

“I ran into a fucking burning building for you,” he retorted. Olivia opened her mouth to speak. “I swear to God Olivia if you tell me that you weren’t in the building one more time-”

“Well I wasn’t!”

Neither Bucky nor Olivia noticed the looks that Natasha, Steve, and Tony were exchanging. They ranged from exasperated to amusement. Moments ago, Bucky and Olivia were engaged in just about the purest form of affection any of them had ever seen from the two. Now they were fighting again, only, Bucky’s head was still in Olivia’s lap and her fingers were still entangled in his hair, so it was hard to take them seriously.

“Alright, as fun as this is, we still have a lot to go over, and I think we’ve all heard this one before,” Steve said, interrupting them swiftly.

“Yeah, at least fifty times this week,” Tony added.

“And at all hours of the day,” Natasha smirked.

Olivia’s mouth snapped shut, mid thought. She had pretty much forgotten that she and Bucky weren’t alone. 

“Fine,” Bucky sighed. “What’s the plan? where are you sending me? When do I leave?”

“Well,” Steve said, watching them both cautiously, “we said earlier, you both need to go into hiding. So, you’ll both be leaving tonight.”

“I’m not going,” Olivia said firmly.

“Olive you’re going, end of discussion,” Tony snapped.

“Wait,” Bucky said, struggling to lift himself upright. He blinked as his head adjusted to sitting up. “Go back to the part where you were talking about both of us leaving tonight.”

“Right,” Steve nodded, “we’re keeping you two together. It’s more than enough space for the both of you.”

“You’re joking right?” Olivia laughed disbelievingly.

“No,” Natasha shook her head, “we aren’t. You two are safer together.”

“That’s not even true,” Bucky started.

“YOU RAN INTO A FUCKING BUILDING FOR HER BUCKY!” Steve hollered in frustration.

All eyes in the room were wide and on him. Tony broke first and laughed the loudest, Natasha and Olivia followed shortly. Bucky however didn’t laugh, he just continued to stare wide-eyed at his best friend. Steve hadn’t yelled at him like that since they were stupid teenagers on Coney Island and Bucky had spent all of their money on some girl. Of course, he hadn’t sworn back then, this was a more recent development in Steve’s personality.

“I’m sorry,” Steve groaned, dropping his head in his hands. “It’s just…Buck…to be completely honest with you, if you weren’t enhanced by HYDRA’s imitation serum you would be very dead from your little stunt to save Liv. It was so stupid and so reckless Buck."

“Thank you!” Olivia cheered.

“No don’t get me started on you,” Steve snapped at her. “You were miserable to live with while he was gone. It took, Natasha, Clint, and myself to keep you in check during our missions, no one else was on a team with three other people. You’re reckless and stupid too.”

Olivia’s mouth dropped open at Steve’s lecture. Bucky smirked and snorted triumphantly causing Olivia to glare daggers at him.

“So,” Natasha said finally, “the bottom line is that you two idiots are safer together. Olivia, you just spent the last half an hour advocating to protect Barnes, so here you go. Think of yourself as his personal little bodyguard. And Barnes, as we all know, you’ll run into a burning building for her even if she isn’t in it, so we know if HYDRA finds you, there’s little you won’t do to keep her safe.”

“I wouldn’t have gone in if I knew she wasn’t in there!” Bucky exclaimed. He groaned lightly, clutching his ribs.

“Don’t overexert yourself there Barnes,” Tony quipped.

“Oh, fuck you Stark,” Bucky chuckled deeply.

Tony just grinned and gave him a wink. Olivia made an annoyed growling noise and slid herself off the table, starting towards the door. Bucky turned his head to follow her. The other three watched her, disapprovingly. 

“Where do you think you’re going Olive?” Tony asked.

“If we’re leaving tonight then I need to pack some shit up,” Olivia said. “Are we not done? Or was there more suffering you had planned to inflict upon me?”

“You’re so dramatic,” Bucky snorted.

“Oh, I would not be talking about the dramatics of others if I were you,” she countered sharply. Her eyebrow raised at him; her mouth twisted into a playful grin.

“Wow I can’t wait to be stuck in hiding with you indefinitely,” Bucky said sarcastically.

Olivia raised a middle finger at him as she pushed the briefing room door open with her other hand. He laughed lightly, shaking his head as she disappeared. Steve glanced at Tony and Nat, nodding his head slightly at the door. They took his hint and departed wordlessly. Steve took a deep breath in, bracing himself for the conversation he knew it was finally time for.

“How you doing Buck?” Steve asked casually.

“Oh apart from being targeted for murder and forced to live in solitary confinement with the most annoying person in the world? I’m doing great. Except the excruciating pain in my abdomen, lungs, back, head…you know everywhere,” he replied.

Steve chuckled, shaking his head. “Yeah,” he nodded, “I don’t really know what I expected your answer to be other than that.”

“It’s a great time for Bucky Barnes,” Bucky mused, dropping his head backwards onto the headrest behind him. He closed his eyes, focusing on his breathing. Deep breaths hurt the most, but shallow ones made him lightheaded and dizzy.

“I don’t think it’s going to be as bad as you think,” Steve said carefully choosing his words. “Yes, you keep saying she’s the most annoying person in the world, but your actions say otherwise.”

Bucky peered out at Steve through one eye, not bothering to open the other. He was right, Olivia wasn’t the most annoying person in the world, it was Steve.

“Don’t you dare bring up the fucking building again Steven,” Bucky warned.

“I’m not,” Steve laughed, “I’m not. Although…” he trailed off, raising his eyebrows at his friend.

“I would have done it for anyone, you know that,” Bucky grumbled.

“No,” Steve said shaking his head. “You wouldn’t have. If it were anyone else you would have heeded Sam’s advice, you would have thought before acting. You would have looked before you leapt.”

“I wouldn’t have _heeded_ anything,” Bucky grinned.

“Bucky you’re in love with Olivia,” Steve said bluntly. He was tired of dancing around the subject and he was really tired of watching Bucky lie to himself.

Bucky’s eyes snapped open. They widened at Steve for a moment, then his face turned skeptical, he snorted and shook his head. Sam had gently suggested that Bucky had feelings for her. This wasn't even the first time that Steve had brought the subject up. It was the first time, however, that anyone flat out old him he was in love with her. The fact was, that he wasn't. He didn't have feelings for her, he just couldn't bare the thought of losing her, which wasn't exactly the same thing.

“No,” Bucky said shaking his head. “I am not. We’ve been over this. I have never been in love, but whatever I feel for Olivia…isn’t it.”

“Okay, I hear you,” Steve said, nodding his head lightly. “Will you do me a favor and just…amuse me for a moment anyway?”

“Fine Steve, go ahead.”

“You’ve never been in love, but I seem to remember a very charming Bucky Barnes dancing the night away with a variety of women,” Steve started. "You never wanted for a date, women came incredibly easy to you, and you seemed to thoroughly enjoy it."

“That was a lifetime ago Steve,” Bucky laughed. “And I wasn’t in love with any of them. Dancing with girls was fun, so was kissing them, but I never felt anything more for any of them.”

“Sure, but you know what it’s like to be interested in someone,” Steve said. “You know what attraction feels like.”

“Fine,” Bucky sighed, “yes, I do know what that is like. I guess I would be lying if I said I didn’t find Olivia attractive. Happy?”

“Not quite,” Steve said, “not yet. You said you didn’t have any pictures on your phone, but I’ve seen your contact photo for Olivia.”

“What about it?” Bucky shrugged. “It’s a good photograph. The lighting was great.”

“Friends don’t have pictures of their friends like that Buck,” Steve implored.

“Oh, come on,” Bucky scoffed, “what are you talking about?”

“It’s…um…intimate,” Steve said. “It is so clearly a moment between the two of you…and just the two of you.”

Bucky laughed at him incredulously and pulled out his phone to look at the picture. He didn’t have to though; he had the picture in question memorized. The sun setting behind her in the little yellow dress. The wind blowing her curls gently around her soft face. She was reaching out for the camera, her eyes crinkled with laughter.

“Alright,” Bucky said, tilting his head to the side, “it’s a little intimate.”

“Mhmm,” Steve said, his lips pressed together. “There’s something else. The touches, the small physical touches.”

“Oh, like just now?” Bucky asked. “I was just…no…look,” Bucky sputtered, letting out a short breathy laugh, “I appreciated how adamant she was about protecting me. It was cute.”

“So, you put your head on her lap?” Steve asked.

“Yeah,” Bucky nodded. “It isn’t a big deal.”

“You don’t let people touch you Buck. Since HYDRA, you don’t let anyone touch you. Everyone knows to keep physical contact limited with you. Liv was rubbing your back, playing with your hair,” Steve said, raising his eyebrow at Bucky.

“Right,” Bucky said shortly, “no, yeah, that is weird.”

“So?”

“So, nothing, I was in pain and she was comforting me,” Bucky sighed. “And I didn’t react because, I didn't want to hurt her feelings, she was doing something nice for me. It was nice. Besides, she’s so non-threatening. ”

“And I am?” Steve smirked.

“No,” Bucky said through gritted teeth. “I don’t know Steve. It just…she feels comfortable, warm…safe. I just feel safe with her.”

“So it wasn't about not hurting her feelings then?" Steve asked. "Her physical affection actually was comforting you and making you feel better. You aren't just tolerating her touches, you actually enjoy them."

“Okay, calm down Steve. I am not in love with Olivia. If anything, it’s probably just because of our connection,” Bucky said with a wave of his hand. "I feel safe with her because of our connection."

Steve pressed his lips together and looked at Bucky, his eyes narrowed, eyebrows raised incredulously. Bucky knew that Steve was challenging him. He sighed, gazing at his friend, annoyed beyond belief. Of course, he was going to have to come clean about it at some point. Of course Steve knew, he’d probably always known.

“I told Shuri not to remove the connection,” Bucky muttered. “How did you know that? Have you known the whole time?”

“I suspected,” Steve nodded. "Why'd you ask Shuri to keep it."

"Because," Bucky sighed, "the connection made me feel less alone. And I couldn't stomach the thought of losing something that connected me to her."

"Oh," Steve nodded, "so this goes way back."

“What does any of this matter?” Bucky said, laughing wildly, “I am not in love with Olivia. Do I think she’s attractive? Yes, obviously, because she is. Anyone can see that. Does she make me feel safe? Yeah, sure. She’s always felt safe. She saved my life though, so that’s probably why. Do I want to be around her all the time? Yes. Absolutely. Despite our constant fighting, yeah, I do. Have I thought about kissing her again every day since the night of your birthday party? I guess so, yeah. Did I miss her for the three and a half months I was gone? Yes, Steve, okay? It was painful how much I missed her…so yes, I did…I did miss her…oh fuck,” Bucky ended his rant, his wide eyes staring blankly ahead.

His hand clutched his abdomen, and most of the color had drained from his face. Steve knew his little speech had taken a lot out of him, but the revelation he’d just come to was probably hitting harder. Finally, Bucky looked up at Steve, swallowing hard. 

“I am in love with her,” Bucky breathed. “I thought I was leaving for her sake, doing her a favor by removing myself from her line of sight, but I was running from my feelings for her.”

“That sounds about right,” Steve nodded.

“Why would you do this Steve?” Bucky groaned. “I was perfectly happy without realizing my full feelings for her. Now I have to be alone with her, indefinitely.”

Steve considered his best friend. He knew that the conversation had been a risky one. Steve also knew that if Bucky didn't work it out, if he went into that safehouse not realizing his feelings for her, things could backfire on them. The fights could be explosive. Bucky, in all his erratic predisposition could run again, out of fear. If Bucky went in knowing that he was in love with Olivia, he'd have a better hold on himself, he'd understand his reactions better. Steve knew that he'd made the right choice in provoking Bucky into realizing his feelings for Olivia. 

“I wanted you to work through it now, so that you didn’t have to there, with just Liv,” Steve said, “I was afraid you would keep pushing her away and I didn’t want you two to be miserable out there. Now you know how you feel, and you can choose how to act on it.”

“I can’t tell her Steve,” Bucky said shaking his head. “She’s too good for me, it’s why I left, so that maybe she’d see that she deserved something better. I have nothing to offer her.”

“Look,” Steve said, “I’ve never asked her how she feels about you, but I’m not blind. I think you need to let Liv decide who she wants. Just, take it easy, take it one day at a time. Talk to her, you both have so much that you need to work out, together and separately.”

“Yeah,” Bucky nodded. “Take it easy, that’s a good idea.”

“For what it’s worth Buck,” Steve said smiling reassuringly at his friend, “I think Liv deserves the best, and you might not think that’s you, but I do. And I’m pretty sure she does too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I just want to thank you all for continuing to read my story! I truly appreciate every hit, kudos, and comment. I know I'm burning this one very slowly, but I'm really excited about where Bucky and Olivia are headed. I hope you all enjoyed the revelation in this chapter! I added a little Sam and Clint, so that everyone can see where they're at too. I have something really special planned for them as well, but while Bucky and Olivia are at the safehouse, they'll be on a temporary hiatus. 
> 
> Okay, I think that's it! Let me know what you think!


	30. Friends?

When Steve had told Olivia and Bucky that they’d be staying in a safe house, somewhere in a remote location, Olivia had imagined somewhere in upstate New York, maybe somewhere in the Mid-West or even Northern California. What she hadn’t expected was the bitterly cold and gloomy English Countryside. Admittedly, if it hadn’t been pouring rain, and if she hadn’t had a series of uncomfortable knots in her stomach, she would have thought the place quaint, charming even.

The truth was, the dull, rainy skies, fit her mood perfectly, and the tiny cottage that stood before them, felt more like a prison than a safe house. They sat in the car, Olivia in the driver’s seat, Bucky in the passenger’s seat, for a few solitary moments, listening to the windshield wipers move back and forth. They’d hardly spoken since Nat had dropped them off in London. Bucky hadn’t bothered asking how Olivia knew how to drive on the opposite side of the road. She didn’t tell him that she had to learn pretty quickly while she traced him through Europe. He didn’t seem up for talking anyway, it seemed to be taking a lot of concentrated effort on his part to not pass out from the pain. Any turn she made or bump they hit caused him to his or even groan in pain. His knuckles were white from holding on so tightly to the door handle. She could tell he was tired too, neither had gotten the chance to sleep, they’d left just hours after the conversation in the briefing room, and all of the moving around had seemed to aggravate his injures even more.

Eventually she turned the ignition and the car sputtered off. He winced as he shrugged off his jacket and placed it in her lap. She opened her mouth to protest; she had a perfectly good jacket of her own and had no need for his.

“So, you don’t get wet,” he told her, picking it up off her lap and plopping it gently on her forehead. He winked at her as she looked up at him.

The interaction made her smile, but she pulled it off her head an handed it back to him. He gave her a questioning look, confused as to why she would deny his generous offer.

“Did you know that broken ribs put you at risk for pneumonia?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at him. He rolled his eyes at her but shook his head ‘no’. “Yeah that’s what I thought,” she said, “I’m not going to let you go out there and get soaking wet and aggravate your chances.”

“I’m fine Olivia,” Bucky sighed.

“Let go of the door handle and tell me how your hand feels,” she said, indicating her head towards his white knuckled fist.

He slowly pried his hand off the handle and winced as he opened and closed it a few times. She gave him a satisfied “humph” and pulled herself out of the car. There was absolutely no out running the downpour, so she didn’t even try. Instead she walked casually to the front door and slid the mat over, exposing the key.

The front door opened to a small entryway and a cozy sitting room. There was a fireplace next to a television; the sofa was small but looked incredibly cushy. To the right was a kitchen with a small dining area attached. There were two doors to the left of the sitting room, which Olivia assumed were the bedrooms. The bathroom, the one bathroom, she could see was off towards the back.

Bucky stumbled in behind her, drenched and pale. He dropped his backpack and her bag onto the ground, then winced as he took an a, long, deep breath.

“I could have gotten those,” Olivia said eyeing the bags.

“Well I got em,” he said through a half smile.

He swayed where he stood and began to crumple. Olivia rushed forward wrapping one arm around his waist and slinging his arm over her shoulder. Her small frame buckled under the weight of him, but she clenched her teeth and strained to keep him upright.

“I’m fine,” he mumbled, pushing lightly against her.

“Oh my god Barnes you are not fine,” she spat, “you have to stop saying that.”

Together they made their way towards one of the bedrooms. Olivia grunted as she reached forward to open the door, still keeping Bucky upright. She ushered him over to the bed, he groaned loudly as she helped him down onto the mattress. He kicked his shoes off and lifted his legs up onto the bed before she could help him, but she did manage to pull him out of the damp jacket he’d offered her.

“So much for accelerated healing,” he grumbled, leaning back on the pillows.

“It’s been just over a week Barnes,” Olivia scoffed, sitting beside him at the edge of the bed. He shivered lightly, wincing again. His had made a fist and he slammed it against the mattress in frustration. “Hey, easy,” she said, placing her hand tentatively on his, “you need to give yourself a break. I mean you looked bad enough in the briefing room and we haven’t stopped going since. You just need some sleep and a couple of days where you do absolutely nothing.”

“Yeah,” he said, nodding his head, “you’re probably right.”

“I am right,” she smirked.

Without another word, she stood and left the room. He struggled to sit up, but when a sharp pain shot through his chest and across his back, he settled back down. She came back in and placed his backpack on the foot of the bed.

“I can’t believe that’s all you brought for an indeterminate about of time,” she chuckled lightly, shaking her head.

“Well I don’t need a lot,” he smiled lightly.

“Can you get yourself out of your wet clothes and into something dry?” Olivia asked, her voice sounded strained, like she was forcing her cadence to stay normal and even.

Bucky snapped his eyes open to watch her. She didn’t look tense, but he could see the pink flushed in her cheeks. The corner of his lip tugged up as he considered what she would say if he told her he couldn’t. She rolled her eyes at him and scoffed, shaking her head.

“Okay, I’m going to make some tea,” she said hopping up off the bed. “You just…sort yourself out and if you need help…I’ll just…well you figure it out,” she sputtered, her face flushing fuller than before.

When Olivia came back, she had changed out of her wet clothes and was carrying two warm mugs with her, she also seemed to have regained a bit of her composure. She gave him a reluctant grin seeing that he’d managed to change into something dry as well. He wore a black tank top, with a black hoodie over it, and dark grey sweatpants. Admittedly, he did look worse off than she’d left him. His head was against the headboard, his eyes closed, face twisted into a painful grimace. He was completely still, other than what seemed to be labored breathing. She felt a twinge of guilt, realizing with as much pain as he was in, he probably could have used the help. His eyes pried open at her presence and he smiled out of the corner of his mouth.

“Well look at you, you did it,” she teased sitting beside him. He chuckled, shaking his head at her, as she handed him a mug.

“Thanks, Tiny,” he said.

“How are you feeling?” she asked, softly. “So help me god if you say ‘fine’ I’m going to lose my shit,” she warned him.

“Okay, alright,” he nodded, “I don’t feel fine, I feel like complete shit. My head is pounding, my chest is throbbing, I’m cold.”

“Well what are you doing on top of the blankets you idiot?” she laughed, as she stood walking around to the other side of the bed.

She pulled the blankets down forcefully and he snorted at her fervor as he maneuvered himself underneath them. There was a brief moment where he looked up at her and their eyes met. She opened and closed her mouth, searching for something to say. Without another moment’s hesitation, she crawled into the bed beside him. They both leaned against the headrest behind them and he looked over at her and smiled softly.

“Drink your tea Barnes,” she said, nudging him gently.

“On the plus side,” Bucky said, taking a long sip from his mug, “we haven’t yelled at each other…in what…at least…hours.”

Olivia snorted at his disjointed, sleepy speech. He wasn’t wrong, they hadn’t so much as snapped at each other in hours. Of course, he’d been quiet for a majority of the time. Maybe his silence was the key; she thought better of bringing up that theory.

“How’s your pain?” Olivia asked, sipping her tea inconspicuously.

Bucky looked down at his empty mug, then back up at her. His face scrunched in confusion as he lazily turned his head to look over at her.

“Did you…put pain meds in my tea?” he slurred.

“Are you asking me if I spiked your tea Bucky?” Olivia asked.

“Oh my god you spiked my tea,” he said with a little gasp.

“Alright,” she nodded, “it wasn’t my finest moment. You need to sleep tonight, and you were in so much pain, I knew you wouldn’t be able to and I just really didn’t want to fight you, ” she said in a flurry of words.

“Hey,” he said, dropping his forehead onto her shoulder, “just breathe.” She did as he said, resting her cheek lightly on his head. “Honestly, I can’t even be angry with you because I can actually breathe for the first time in days,” he mumbled.

“Oh, weird, almost like I was right,” she teased.

He chuckled and scooted himself down so that he was laying flat on his back. Olivia slid down too and rolled over onto her side to face him. The tension that she’d been holding throughout her entire body had finally released, seeing him lying peacefully next to her. She had been more worried about him than she’d been willing to let on. He lolled his head to the side and opened an eye at her.

“I’ll go,” she said quickly, throwing the blankets off of her.

She felt Bucky’s cool metal fingers on her wrist, and she paused to turn back to her. His eyes were sleepy, glazed over from the relief the meds were giving him. She breathed out a tiny laugh, as her hand instinctively brushed through his hair.

“You could also just stay,” he told her, his voice raspy and tired.

“Um,” she breathed lightly.

“I could die in the middle of the night,” he said eyeing her very seriously.

“Barnes, you’re ridiculous,” Olivia snorted, “and extremely high on pain meds. You’re not going to die, and I don’t want to bother your sleep.”

“Fine,” Bucky said, his lips forming a thin disgruntled line, “but I also I’m freezing and…consider this…I don’t ask you for anything, ever, but I’m asking you for this.”

It wouldn’t be the first time they’d shared a bed. She remembered the night before their first mission together when she had spiked a fever and Bucky had let her use his vibranium arm to cool her off all night. This time felt different though, like they’d been through too much. Her feelings for him fluctuated on almost an hourly basis at this point, and it took everything in her to keep them from going too far. On the other hand, he had a point, he never asked her for anything.

“Bucky, I don’t know,” she said slowly.

“Okay,” he nodded.

Olivia grumbled deep in her throat as she climbed back into the bed. She scooted close to him and slid her arm beneath his head, pulling him into her. His head rested heavily on her abdomen, but she didn’t care. 

“Who knew what a giant baby you could be Barnes?” Olivia smirked, twisting his hair between her fingers.

“Four broken ribs, Olivia,” Bucky mumbled, “four. Like a third of my body is covered in burns.”

A shiver ran down Olivia’s spine and through her body; Bucky didn’t budge but she wasn’t certain that he hadn’t noticed. Bucky could complain all he wanted about his less than stellar accelerated healing, but it didn’t escape Olivia that if he wasn’t enhanced, he wouldn’t have survived.

“Can I ask you a question?” he asked lethargically.

“Yes, yeah, absolutely,” she said, relieved to change the subject.

“Who’s a better kisser, me or Steve?”

“Oh my god Barnes!” Olivia groaned.

She started to pull herself away from him, but he wrapped his arms tightly around her. His low chuckle indicated that he had been joking, still they had been avoiding the topic of their kiss since it had happened. Under normal circumstances, she knew he wouldn’t have dared to bring it up.

“I was joking, please don’t go,” he said, pulling her into him.

“You’re an idiot,” Olivia told him. She tried not to let the smile threatening her mouth break free, but it did and with it, came a small giggle.

“I told you, you giggle,” Bucky said. His words sounded smug and somewhat triumphant. Olivia recalled the moment, he had told her that, he’d also told her it was adorable. She hadn’t forgotten that.

“Did you have a real question Barnes, or did you just want to annoy me a bit?” Olivia asked, ignoring the pounding in her chest.

She hadn’t thought much about the night that Bucky had kissed her, which was to say that she had actively tried not to think about it. That kiss had challenged everything she thought she knew about Bucky and it challenged everything she thought she understood about their relationship. The moment his lips touched hers, she realized that her feelings for him had the potential to be so much more than platonic if she let them get that far. He’d left though, and then she knew that he didn’t feel the same way about her.

“I have a real question,” he said. He rolled off of her and back onto his back, then turned his head to face her. His sleepy eyes looked serious, so she slid herself down beside him. He gave her an indiscernible look and brought his hand to her face. His thumb traced along the length of her jaw, down to her chin.

“Bucky,” she whispered, swallowing hard.

“Right,” he shook his head slightly, “my question.” He hesitated briefly, smiling out of the corner of his mouth. “Are we friends?”

Olivia’s eyes widened at his question. She was shocked at his vulnerability; his guard was completely down and it was entirely likely that he was too drugged up to remember that just 12 hours earlier they’d been screaming at each other at the top of their lungs. It was also possible that he had no idea how hurt she’d been by his leaving with no word and no contact for three months. What she was sure of was that Bucky had no idea that she had her own hang-ups around being friends with the man that she’d manipulated for year or that every day she struggled to keep herself from loving him. Of course, they weren’t friends, but she didn’t know how to tell him that.

“Why don’t we just make it through tonight Buck,” she said, chewing on her bottom lip. She watched his eyes fall and she immediately hated herself for disappointing him. “Hey,” she moved in, pressing her forehead against his, “there’s a lot to unpack here Buck and you really need to sleep.”

“Right,” Bucky nodded. “Yeah, that makes sense. Will you still stay?”

It was another mark of his vulnerability in the moment. Bucky would never have asked this of Olivia if he was in his right mind. She brushed his hair back off his face; his forehead was warm to the touch. A fever, of course, his body was over-exhausted from fighting the pain.

“Yeah Buck,” she said gently, “I’ll stay.”

* * *

Bucky groaned lightly as the sun streamed in through the window. His eyes felt heavy and his head still ached dully. As far as the rest of his body went, the pain was still present, but definitely not as bad as it had been the previous day. He rolled his head over, searching for Olivia, but the bed beside him was empty.

He hit his palm to his forehead as the conversations from the evening prior flooded his memory. Stupid things, he had said some very stupid things. Additionally, he had been way too aggressive about asking her to stay the night. He would have to deal with the repercussions of that as soon as he could bring himself to get out of bed. His stomach grumbled loudly; it would be sooner rather than later.

Olivia was in the kitchen, making breakfast by the time he stumbled out. He’d thrown his hood on over his head to dull some of the sensitivity to the light. Still, his head felt head felt fuzzy and it wasn’t long before he had to sit again. He suddenly remembered the tea, the pain meds, her sneaky methods of getting him some relief. It would have been easy to be angry with her, but he knew how much the meds had helped.

“Good morning Bucky,” she said, giving him a small smile. She placed two slices of toast on a plate and walked over to set it in front of him.

‘Bucky’, he ruminated on her use of his nickname. She didn’t use it often, opting more frequently for his surname. ‘Bucky’ was reserved for special occasions: guilt, persuasion, moments when he thought they’d broken their barrier and slipped into friends. ‘Friends’…’Are we friends?’, he remembered the words falling from his mouth and he groaned.

“What’s wrong?” she asked. He could hear the anxiety in her voice.

He pushed himself out of his chair and met her in the kitchen, leaning himself against the island in the middle of the room. She watched him from the stove, where she was scrambling eggs. How he was going to have this conversation was beyond him, but he needed to say something before she completely panicked.

“You’re going to overcook those,” he said, nodding towards the eggs. _No…not that…_ he sighed at his stupid comment.

She lifted the pan off the burner and dropped it loudly onto the counter, eggs splattering out. Always so volatile, he smirked at her and licked his bottom lip. Bucky hated Steve for making him realize his affections for Olivia, because of course, how he felt about her didn’t change the way he felt about himself. However, he did have a rare chance, after a night of involuntary vulnerability, to possibly initiate a friendship.

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly. “They look great.”

“How are you feeling?” she asked, ignoring him entirely.

“Decent,” he tilted his head, “you know, considering you drugged me.”

“For your own good.”

“Somehow I don’t think that would hold up in court.”

“Well you still look like shit, so my plan must not have worked that well,” her tone was snappy, they were entering dangerous territory.

“Olivia, I’m sorry,” he said, his eyes catching hers.

It was the wrong thing to say, he knew it as the words left his mouth. Her eyes fell as she nodded curtly and turned away from him. She didn’t want an apology; he hadn’t made her uncomfortable. Possibly, he’d been closer to a semblance of friendship with her last night than he was right now.

“Olivia,” he started again.

“I knew this was going to happen,” she laughed an exasperated laugh. “I knew you were going to be weird about this.”

“Okay, wait, let me just start over,” he said with a shake of his head. “I don’t want to fight; I can’t fight with you. Last night…it was…I’ve never slept better.”

“I tried to tell you that if you took the pain medication-”

“It wasn’t the meds Tiny,” he cut her off.

Her shoulders tightened at his words, in fact her entire body tensed. Slowly she turned back around to face him. He gave her a small shrug. It was incredible how queasy he felt at the smallest amount of exposure he’d just shown her. Telling her how he truly felt about her was laughable, a complete impossibility.

His words hardly seemed to phase her, at least that’s how she made it look. He could tell she was holding back a grin and he had to convince himself that she wasn’t laughing at him. She moved towards him and stopped in front of him.

“Well then,” she smirked, “I guess I forgive you for that stupid question you asked last night.”

It took him a moment to realize that she wasn’t referring to the ‘friends’ question. He groaned, followed by an embarrassed laugh. The laughter made his ribcage ache sharply and he winced against the pain. She looked up at him, her eyes full of concern. Tentatively, she pulled down the zipper on his hoodie and pushed it open. Then, she lifted his shirt, eyeing him to make sure she wasn’t overstepping any boundaries. She hissed at the deep purple skin on his abdomen. Her fingers brushed delicately across his ribcage, causing him to shiver. He crumpled slightly, relying more on the island he leaned against.

“I’m sorry,” she said, pulling her hand back.

Instinct made him reach out to catch her hand in his. He didn’t want her to apologize and he really didn’t want her to stop touching him. But that moment had passed. They stared intently into each other’s eyes, neither knowing what to say.

“Let’s unpack this,” Bucky said finally, calling back to Olivia’s words from the night before. She nodded, understanding his meaning.

“Why did you leave?” she asked.

His eyes closed. He sighed in frustration. “Can we start somewhere else?” 

“If you’re not ready-” she said, pulling her hand against his lightly.

“No,” he replied. “No. Okay, I left because you scare me. I didn’t know how to handle it...you. I don’t know now if I know how to handle it.”

“I scare you?” she breathed. Her eyes turned melancholy; he knew immediately that she had mistook his meaning. “Because I manipulated for three years?” she asked.

“What? No! No, why would you think that?” he replied. His head shook in confusion.

“You bring it up all the time,” she said flatly.

Bucky sighed heavily. He winced as he lifted his hand to run his fingers through his hair; his nervous tic wouldn’t be stopped by a healing dislocated shoulder, a couple of broken ribs, or some severe burns.

“Yeah,” he nodded, “that’s because I’m an idiot.”

“No kidding,” she smirked softly.

“Well it isn’t that,” he said shaking his head, “it’s the way you look at me. You look at me like I’m…I don’t know…not a monster.”

“You aren’t,” she said simply.

“You know better than anyone that I am.”

Olivia cleared her throat and took another step towards him. There was absolutely no distance between them now. He could feel her body move against his as she stood on her tiptoes. He scowled as she removed her hand from his, but her alternative was just as nice. With her hands on either side of his face, she pulled his forehead to hers.

“Do you trust me?” she asked softly. He nodded his response. “Okay, this might be weird.”

Her eyes closed, and almost instantly Bucky was overwhelmed by their connection to each other, he’d never felt it so strongly. There was little to distinguish himself from her. His eyes closed too, and he was flooded with images, memories, his memories. Young Bucky meeting Steve, finding him in yet another alleyway, nursing him back to health when he was sick. There were memories of the two laughing until they cried over silly things, roaming the streets of Brooklyn making up stories about their future.

Then there were his sisters, Becca was closest in age to him, her face was prominent. They were playfully teasing each other or bickering over something stupid. He saw himself in uniform, looking out for the men in his squadron. He saw the moment Steve had saved his life and was overwhelmed by a deep affection for the young man. Bucky saw himself laughing with Sam and Clint, cooking for the team, holding Olivia’s hair back as she drunkenly threw up in a bush, laughing with her on the beach. He saw himself lean in to kiss her and then Olivia jerked her forehead away from Bucky’s.

His eyebrows knit together, wishing he could finish that memory. He wanted to know how she felt about that kiss. When he finally opened his eyes, he looked up at her to see that her cheeks were pink, and her eyes were glossy with tears. She beamed at him, giving him a tiny shrug.

“What was that?” he panted.

“I manipulated you for a year before you started fighting back Buck,” she said slowly. “I don’t know if you sensed that I wasn’t all bad, or if you were just rolling the dice hoping I’d help you, but you started to show me memories. They were so weak at first, but over time they got stronger. You showed me who you were, who you really were. I spent the next two years learning you, trying to figure out a way to help. We got lucky with Steve,” she paused her, intaking a small shaky breath, “you weren’t going to last much longer.”

Bucky nodded, slowly, understanding washing over him. “And the rest of it? The things that came after?” he asked.

“A few of my more recent memories of you,” she said, her face flushing. “I didn’t mean to show you those,” she added.

“I liked seeing them.” His eyes were wide as he looked into hers. Maybe he could tell her he loved her, maybe he should. She pulled her forehead away from his and the thought vanished. There was still too much, he wasn’t ready. His fear was paralyzing.

“I’m sorry I did those things to you Buck,” she said, her eyes welling up with tears. “But now you know that I didn’t just decide out of nowhere, and now you know that I could never see you as a monster.”

He took her face in his hands and thumbed away her tears. There were not enough words in the English language, or any language for that matter, that he could use to express his gratitude for her. So, he did the next best thing and dropped his barrier just enough for her to feel the things he was feeling. She laughed tearfully, nodding in recognition. He wrapped his arms around her, and she buried her face into him.

“So," Bucky said into Olivia's hair, "can we try this friends thing?"

Olivia's body shook with laughter against his. "Yeah Buck," she mumbled into him, "let's try it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> had a rough night(I'm in America if that gives you any idea) so I distracted myself with writing instead. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter :) Thank you for reading!


	31. Halloween

Olivia was surprised at how easy it was being Bucky’s friend. Of course, it had only been about a week since their conversation in the kitchen, and Olivia was cautious, waiting with bated breath for the moment it would all crumble. Bucky was different though and that didn’t escape her notice. He didn’t fight her when she insisted, he rest or take a break. He also seemed more patient with her, allowing her to feel and release the intense emotions she often felt without reacting in a polarizing way. He did, however, refuse every cup of tea she made him, despite her assurance that she had not and would not spike his tea again.

It was 7:00 AM when Olivia pulled herself from her bed. In total they’d had a few hours of sunny skies spread out over their first week. Normally the cloudy, overcast skies made her sad and anxious, but they seemed to fit the day perfectly. Halloween was Olivia’s favorite day of the year, next to Christmas, and despite being separated from almost all of her friends, she was determined to have a good day.

Bucky wasn’t in the tiny cottage, but Olivia knew he wouldn’t be. The minute the bruising around his ribs had yellowed and deep breaths no longer hurt to the point of almost passing out, he started going for runs. Olivia protested, but he insisted he was okay and in return, took the pain meds anytime the pain flared up again. He did seem to be doing much better and his morning runs brought the color back into his face. It helped too that he spent the rest of his days relaxing and doing absolutely nothing, allowing Olivia to take care of him.

By the time Bucky got back, Olivia was halfway through her second cup of coffee, though hardly more awake then she had been when she’d woken up. She glanced up at him when he came through the door, her heart palpitated excitedly at his presence. It was a minor annoyance that she mostly ignored. Underneath his black hoodie, his white t-shirt clung to his body with sweat. His hair was hidden beneath his hood, but she could tell it was pulled back, it always was for his runs. He smiled at her as he slipped his shoes off and came to sit on one of the stools at the island.

“What is that smell?” he asked, sniffing the air around them.

Olivia’s timer dinged as he said it, and she jumped, then made her way towards the oven. She pulled out a loaf of bread and set it on the stove to cool.

“I made pumpkin bread,” she told him cheerily.

Bucky chuckled at her, nodding is head in understanding. “Oh, pumpkin bread. And is that anything like the pumpkin scones, muffins, cookies, or cupcakes you’ve made in the last couple of days?” he asked.

“Shut up Barnes,” she laughed. “It’s literally pumpkin season. Besides, I didn’t hear you complaining when you ate eleven pumpkin scones, over half of the muffins and cupcakes, and all put two cookies.”

“Well, they were good,” he admitted.

His smile made her face flush and she turned away from him quickly. Her pumpkin bread was still just a little too hot, but she needed something to busy herself with, so she began to gingerly remove the loaf from the pan. Her hand, safely tucked inside an oven mitt, slipped as she lifted the pan and, in an attempt, to avoid dropping her creation on the floor, she reached out her bare hand to grab it. The heat from the pan burned her fingertips immediately, but it took a second or two before the realization hit her. 

“Ow shit,” she hissed, pulling her hand back, dropping her pan back onto the stove in the process. “Fuck,” she breathed, closing her eyes in frustration. She held her burned had against her chest, trying to keep her mind off the stinging.

“Let me see,” Bucky said spinning her around to face him. He took her hand in his and lifted her fingers to examine them carefully. “It doesn’t look too bad,” he said, pulling her towards the sink.

He thrust her hand beneath a stream of cold water, she sucked in a breath as the pain sharpened, then slowly dissipated. As the mild adrenaline began to wear off, she could tell that he was right and that it wasn’t that bad. Bucky still held her wrist firmly under the water, his entire body tense.

“Bucky,” she said gently, “thank you…it feels much better.”

“Right,” he nodded. He breathed a laugh and released her wrist. Shoving his hands into the pockets of his hoodie, he nudged into her, “I told you it wasn’t that bad.”

“Oh okay,” she said, nudging him back, “because you didn’t seem panicked at all.”

“I don’t panic,” he nudged her again.

“How are those ribs doing? What about the giant ass burn on your back?” she grinned, proving her point that he did in fact panic, and that he recently had…in a big way.

He laughed again, shaking his head at her. It was always a pleasure, making Bucky laugh. She was furious with herself for denying herself this simple little joy for so long, choosing instead to fight with him. Her own face broke out into a smile and she laughed along with him. He turned the water off and grabbed a dish towel, then gently dried her hand. When he finished, he brought it back up to examine it again. Olivia’s heart quite literally stopped as he pressed his lips softly against her fingertips. Realization at what he’d just done spread across his features and they stared at each other, wide eyed and unmoving.

They both hopped back, away from each other as he dropped her hand. Olivia went back to her pumpkin bread, Bucky scrambled around the kitchen island, back to the stool he had occupied previously. Without making eye contact, Olivia dropped a plate with a slice of bread in front of him. She tried to keep her hand steady as she did so, not wanting him to see the trembling throughout her body.

“Here you go,” she said, her voice coming out altogether too high and squeaky.

“Thanks,” Bucky muttered, his hooded head down over his plate. “It’s great Olivia…tastes great,” he added, still keeping his face hidden.

“Okay well…great.” It was all she could think to say.

* * *

On one hand, being friends with Olivia was as easy as breathing for Bucky. There were moments though, like this one, where the thought of being just friends with Olivia was completely unbearable. He knew his face was bright red at his slip up, so he continued to hang his head over the plate she’d given him. It also helped him avoid her reaction, which he was sure was probably some mix of annoyed and angry. Over the past week, Olivia had been cautiously opening up herself to him, taking their newfound relationship slowly. He wasn’t sure if it was for his benefit or hers, and most of the time he appreciated it, but sometimes he found it infuriating.

He’d observed Olivia in her friendships with the others. She seemed to dole out small, affectionate physical touches to Steve, Clint, Tony, everyone else she called “friend” with such ease. With Bucky it was different. She’d sit close to him during movies, but not too close. If their fingers brushed in passing, she’d quickly pull back. And hugs were completely out of the question, although sometimes he could see her body twitch with the urge. It bothered him, but he also knew it was probably for the best, because honestly, he couldn’t handle more physical touch. Obviously he couldn’t, the first chance he’d gotten at some sort of physical contact he’d completely crossed every boundary that she’d set up for him.

“Bucky,” Olivia said, snapping him out of his own head.

He breathed in and slowly lifted his head to look at her. Relief washed over him, seeing her soft expression, a reassuring smile across her lips. She wasn’t angry with him, which was…beyond him, but he’d take it. Her eyes searched his, but he couldn’t imagine what for.

“I um…thank you for helping me,” she said, her cheeks flushing lightly.

Bucky wanted to say something, anything, but he couldn’t think of the right thing to say. So, he forced a tight smile and nodded slightly. He felt a jolt of panic and met her gaze, realizing it was coming from her and not from him. Something he had done had caused her anxiety and he needed to correct it.

“As much as I love your pumpkin flavored everything,” he said, taking another bite of her bread, “is pumpkin season almost over?”

She let out a small, relieved laugh, “Yeah Buck,” she nodded. “It’s Halloween, so…I guess tomorrow I can start venturing into holiday treats.”

“I didn’t even realize it was Halloween,” Bucky said shaking his head.

“Yep,” she nodded, pressing her lips together. “My favorite day of the year.”

“Really?” he asked. “Okay…why?”

When she didn’t answer him right away, he snapped his head up look up at her. She was looking at him, her face scrunched up as if she were considering how to word her answer. Her phone buzzed loudly on the counter. Bucky watched as she reached for it and slid it open to answer it. Something in the way she looked at him puzzled him, but he would have to wait for their conversation to continue.

“Hi Steve,” she said into her phone. Her face lit up at something Steve said, and Bucky’s chest tightened unwittingly. “Thank you,” she replied. Another pause while Steve spoke, her eyes darted to Bucky, “Um…no…I don’t think so.” Bucky wondered what they were talking about, whatever it was, wasn’t his business. “No, Steve, it’s okay. It’s not a big,” she sighed heavily, “…Steve seriously don’t. Thank you, okay. Bye. Hi Tony…thank you.”

Bucky watched her as more confusion sunk in. Why was she thanking Steve and Tony? His own phone buzzed in his pocket and he reached in to grab it. It was an unknown number, but he knew it was likely someone from the compound. They’d only been calling from burner phones since Bucky and Olivia left. Bucky raised an eyebrow at Olivia as he slid his phone open to answer the call.

“Hello?”

“Hey Buck.”

“Steve,” Bucky replied.

“Hey, uh…how’s it going?” Steve asked.

Bucky heard Olivia laugh loudly at her phone call. His face scrunched in confusion as he got up and retreated to his bedroom, not wanting to bother her.

“It’s fine…what is going on?”

“Okay, don’t freak out,” Steve said slowly.

“Asking me not to freak out makes it just a little more difficult to not freak out.”

“Today is Olivia’s birthday.”

Bucky’s heart plummeted. Everything started to make sense, why her favorite day of the year was Halloween, why she’d been unsure of how to answer his question, her conversation with Steve and Tony. He groaned and ran his hand through his hair. It was too late to pretend like he’d known all along, she had definitely already realized that he didn’t know her birthday.

“Why didn’t you tell me yesterday…or like…any day?” Bucky asked sharply.

“Mhm, yeah, I definitely should have,” Steve said quickly, “we’ve just been really preoccupied with…well HYDRA and it slipped my mind.”

He couldn’t fault Steve for that. They were, of course, working hard to make sure that Olivia wasn’t captured, and Bucky wasn’t murdered. So, it wasn’t surprising that birthdays weren’t the first things on the list of things they thought about.

“What am I going to do?” Bucky sighed, panic settling in.

“Well first, you’re going to calm down,” Steve said firmly, “this is Olivia we’re talking about; she’s not overly demanding when it comes to her birthday.”

“She said Halloween was her favorite day of the year,” Bucky replied flatly.

“Okay,” Steve said pushing out a heavy breath, “well…Buck…I don’t know what to tell you. Honestly, she probably isn’t expecting much from you. I’m sure she knows that you aren’t aware that it’s her birthday.”

Steve’s words were like a punch to the gut. However true they were, he didn’t want Olivia to not expect much from him. More than that, he desperately wanted to make the day special for her, partly to make up for earlier, but mostly because he wanted to see her happy.

“How are things going with her by the way?” Steve asked, trying to keep his voice nonchalant. Bucky saw right through it.

“She drugged me out first night here,” Bucky replied. Steve snorted in his ear. “Beyond that…I think we’re actually friends now.”

“Wow Buck,” Steve said, “that’s great. And it only took a week?”

“Well no,” said Bucky. “We had a bit of breakthrough our first morning here and we haven’t fought since,” he added.

“I won! Pay up!” Steve hollered.

“You bet on us?” Bucky asked furiously.

“Again,” Steve said to Bucky, “we’ve all been working really hard to make sure you don’t die.” Bucky could hear the grin in Steve’s voice. “Give me a little credit, I gave you two a couple of days. Really you should be angry with Sam, he didn’t think you’d come back as friends at all.”

“I’ll beat you both up when I get back, and anyone else who was part of that bet.” Bucky laughed.

“You’re going to have to take on the entire team,” Steve chuckled.

“How’d you know it wouldn’t take long?” Bucky asked.

“Because I know my best friend,” Steve replied simply. “You don’t do anything halfway Bucky. You never have. When you’re in, you’re in. Once you realized how you felt about her, it was only a matter of time.”

“Well, you’re wrong there,” Bucky sighed, “I still haven’t told her how I really feel.”

“Friendship is goo start Buck,” Steve said, “you don’t need to do it all at once. Take your time, you two deserve a little time.”

“Sure,” Bucky nodded, “yeah…you’re probably right about that Steve.”

“Look, as far as today goes,” Steve said, “don’t overthink this. It’s Olivia. Just wish her a happy birthday and I don’t know…make her dinner or something.”

Bucky nodded, despite knowing that Steve couldn’t see his response. “Yeah…okay…thanks Steve, for letting me know…and you know, everything.”

“Of course Buck,” Steve replied, “sorry I was a little late. Remember, don’t overthink it.”

* * *

Olivia snapped her head up as Bucky emerged from his room. He’d showered and changed out of his running clothes; except he still wore his black hoodie. He was shoving his vibranium arm into his brown leather jacket as he passed her and headed straight for the door. When he reached the entryway, he paused, unraveling a navy-blue scarf.

“Where are you going?” she asked him.

“We’re out of…some things,” he replied curtly.

Olivia looked up at him skeptically. He breathed in and pushed his breath out heavily, then smiled down at her. It was a fake smile, she could tell, and she narrowed her eyes at him. For a moment she was afraid that she was losing him again, that his misstep in the kitchen had caused him to pull back again. But his look softened and his mouth turned slightly upwards.

“I won’t be gone long Tiny,” he said. “Besides, I’m sure you have some more pumpkin treats to occupy your time with,” he teased.

She playfully glared up at him, as she pulled the scarf from his arm and threw it around his neck. His eyes were on her as she adjusted it around him. He placed his tentatively on her hip to steady himself while she looped the scarf. She forced herself to not to react, afraid that if she did, he’d remove his hand from her. It was entirely possible that she purposely dragged out the whole affair just to have his hand on her for longer, then again, her heart really was racing, and she was actually incredibly distracted. When she finally finished, she paused and pressed her nose against the scarf, it smelled intoxicatingly like him. Bucky froze beneath her and she pulled back, her face flushing.

“I’m sorry, that was weird,” she said, shaking her head in embarrassment. “Your scarf, it just…it smells so much like you…but also…different.”

“Well,” Bucky chuckled, “it is on me…so…”

“Right, yeah,” she nodded, “okay…well…I’ll see you later.”

She did her best to hide her disappointment as he moved past her and disappeared through the door. It crossed her mind that she probably should have mentioned her birthday to him, she probably should have mentioned it a couple of days ago, but she didn’t want him to think he had to do something special just because they were suddenly on the path towards friendship. After all, they’d only stopped screaming at each other and storming out rooms when the other entered a week ago, they were both still learning the relationship.

Olivia chucked her body onto the sofa and kicked up her legs over the armrest. The scent of his scarf still lingered in her nose. It had smelled aggressively of Bucky, and it wasn’t just because he had been standing directly in front of her. She also couldn’t stop playing the moment he’d kissed her fingertips in her head, and then his hand on her hip. They’d both thrown her off completely while at the same time making it incredibly difficult to keep her feelings for him from boiling over. At one point in time she thought it a possibility that Bucky had feelings for her, but the instant he kissed her he left. Now, his friendship was the most important thing to her, and she wouldn’t mess it up just because she was very possibly completely head over heels for him. She drifted off, wondering if things would have been different had she approached him differently from the beginning.

Bucky stumbled through the door sometime later, waking Olivia from her nap. She sat up as he entered the cottage, shaking off the moisture from the damp outside air. He looked at her briefly, then moved forward to grab a blanket from a basket of throws by the fireplace. With one hand, he tossed the blanket across her, then headed towards his room. Olivia scrambled beneath the knit throw, wrapping it around her shoulders as she stood to follow him.

“Go back to sleep,” Bucky said firmly.

“Wait, but…” she started.

She stumbled backward as he closed the door on her face. Of all the ways she imagined spending her birthday, this was not one of them. She stood at his door, blinking back tears. The door swung open again and Bucky stood in front of her.

“Why are you crying?” Bucky asked, his voice panicky. He placed both of his hands on her shoulders and bent his knees slightly to search her eyes.

“I’m not,” she said, shaking her head quickly.

“Okay,” he nodded. He gave a her a skeptical look but didn’t push her. “Tiny, why didn’t you tell me that it was your birthday?” he asked.

Her mouth dropped open and she looked up at him, wide eyed. “Oh…um…today is my birthday,” she sputtered.

“Yeah,” Bucky nodded with a laugh, “Steve told me. A little late I might add, but I uh…I think I figured something out.” He pulled a brown paper bag from behind his back and handed it to her. “It’s not much and I wasn’t sure how to wrap it but...”

“Bucky what?” Olivia laughed.

The gesture was overwhelmingly sweet, and coming from Bucky, Olivia was completely unsure of how to take it. It didn’t matter that he hadn’t wrapped it, it didn’t even matter what it was, the fact that Bucky had even felt the need to go out and get her something was massive on his part. It left Olivia completely without words.

“Here, come here,” he said, ushering her back towards the couch. They sat down together, and she looked up at him grinning broadly. “I’m sorry I left you,” he said, running his hand through his hair, “but I couldn’t let you go empty handed on your birthday.”

“Oh, I didn’t, go empty handed,” she smirked up at him, “Tony got me a new car. It’s just waiting for me back home.”

Bucky’s eyes widened in horror, “Okay, my present sucks I’m taking it back,” he said reaching for the brown paper bag.

“Bucky no!” Olivia said pulling it from his reach. “You went out in the rain to get me this, I have to know what it is.”

“Fine,” he grumbled, “but it’s stupid. And actually, the more I think about it the more I absolutely despise myself for getting it, so just put me out of my misery and open it up.”

Olivia gingerly opened the bag and pulled out her gift. It was a picture frame, which was surprising on its own, but the picture inside was what really shocked her. The picture inside the frame was from the set of pictures of them from the beach, not the one she had on her phone, but a different one. In this picture Olivia was still on Bucky’s back, instead of looking at each other, they were both looking out at the camera, laughing easily.

She released a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. The picture itself was honestly one of her favorites, but then again, so was every picture from that day. It was the perfect gift, except that it threw her back into that day, it was the first time she’d ever considered that maybe she had feelings for Bucky and maybe he’d felt a little something for her. A little later in that day had been the first time that she was certain that Bucky absolutely did not have feelings for her. Of course, Bucky had no clue about either of these things and a part of her really did love it. On the other hand, receiving this picture, from him, felt like a gut punch.

“I thought…you know…because we’re friends now that it would be…” Bucky trailed off. He was watching her, trying to decipher her reaction.

“Bucky, it’s really thoughtful,” Olivia said, smiling up at him as genuinely as she could.

“It was a bad idea,” Bucky said shaking his head. “Sam said it was a good idea when I asked him, but I shouldn’t have listened to him. What does Sam know?”

“Bucky,” Olivia said, placing her hand on his arm. “It was a good idea, it just…surprised me, that’s all. I didn’t even know you had access to this picture.”

“You sent them to me,” Bucky replied, his eyebrows furrowed as he spoke.

“Yeah, months ago. Like…back when way back when we took them.” she laughed.

“Yeah,” Bucky nodded, “I remember. I saved them, to my phone. I mean I had to ask Sam and Clint how to save them, and they bullied me and called me an old man…but yeah, I saved them.”

“They bullied you?” Olivia breathed, trying to hold back a laugh. He rolled his eyes at her through a smirk and nodded. “I’m sorry Buck,” she said, giving his arm a squeeze. It did something to her, knowing that Bucky had these pictures on his phone, that he wanted to keep them.

“They’re assholes,” Bucky smirked, “but they did help.” Olivia breathed a laughed, shaking her head slightly. “There’s one more thing in there by the way,” Bucky added nodding towards the bag.

“Oh!” Olivia exclaimed. She reached in the bag and pulled out Bucky’s navy-blue scarf. It was, if possible, even more surprising than the picture. She raised an eyebrow at him. “This is your scarf,” she told him.

“Yeah,” he nodded, “well…I mean…now it’s yours.”

“Why?”

Bucky’s face flushed slightly at her question. He winced and ran his hand through his hair. The longer they sat on the sofa together, the more questions Olivia had. A framed photograph and a scarf were harmless gifts, and yet somehow, they felt weighty, like they meant more than anything she’d ever received. It was unclear if Bucky had put the same weight on them.

“What you said earlier, about it smelling like me…but not…I knew what you meant, I just didn’t have time to explain,” he said. Something in the way his body twitched as he spoke told Olivia that he was anxious about something. “It’s from…uh…well it’s from before…everything.”

Olivia looked down at the navy-blue fabric in her hands, then back up at Bucky. “Before everything?” she asked, shaking her head.

“Yeah,” he nodded, “it was mine when I was…younger. When you’re Captain America’s best friend and you end up dead, everything you’ve ever owned becomes a commodity. I guess when they unfroze Steve some museum gave him a box of my old things and that scarf was in it. He gave the box back to me when I came to live at the compound.” He paused for a moment, chewing on his lip. “My sister, Becca, made it for me for Christmas one year,” he added.

“Bucky,” Olivia breathed, “this is…I can’t take this.” She reached out, handing it back to him. He pushed it gently back towards her.

“I need you to keep it,” he said slowly. “It’s a part of my past and it feels important to me that you have something from my past. After everything you did…everything you risked getting me out of HYDRA, knowing why, the memories that you saw…I just need you to have it.”

Olivia nodded softly. She didn’t fully understand, but she didn’t think that it mattered if she understood. Bucky’s scarf was suddenly her most important possession. She placed the brown paper back, framed photograph, and scarf on the small coffee table in front of them.

“I’m going to hug you now,” she told him, “if that’s okay.”

He exhaled sharply, nodding his head up and down. Slowly, she moved towards Bucky. His eyes followed on her, but his body stayed completely frozen. She wrapped her arms around his neck, but maintained a bit of distance in between them, not wanting to overwhelm him. His face nuzzled into her curls as his arms pulled her into him. It sent a wave of relief through her body, he wasn’t going to backslide on her, she wasn’t going to lose his friendship.

“Bucky,” she said softly, “thank you.”

He released her and she began to pull back from him. His hand found her cheek and he smiled at her, sliding his thumb against her face. She wanted him to kiss her, more than anything she wanted him to kiss her. His eyes closed and he sighed heavily as he pressed his forehead against hers.

“You confuse me,” she breathed, saying the words without thinking.

“Yeah, I confused me too,” he nodded his head against hers, “I’m sorry Olivia.” His eyes were genuine and sad when he reopened them. “Please forgive me. I don’t mean to confuse you.”

“There’s nothing to forgive Buck,” Olivia replied gently.

“Forgive me anyway?” he asked.

“Okay Bucky,” she said with a soft laugh, “I forgive you.”

“Thank you,” he smiled. He lifted his head off of her and pressed his lips softly against her forehead. “Happy birthday Tiny.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very pleased with myself that I managed to get a Halloween chapter out as the 31st chapter. I know there wasn't technically a tone of Halloween in it, but this chapter sort of took on a mind of it's own. I hope you all enjoyed it! Very excited for the next couple of chapters...for some obvious reasons and some maybe not so obvious reasons ;)  
> As always, thank you for your continued support of this story, I'm very pleased with it and I always love seeing your comments! <3


	32. A Turkey, Some Snow, A Kiss

“I bought a turkey!”

Bucky’s head shot up from the couch cushion he was resting his head on, to see Olivia standing in the doorway holding a very frozen turkey triumphantly in one hand and a brown paper bag of other groceries in the other. Her dark curls sprung out from underneath a maroon beanie and Bucky felt his stomach do a full flip as she shrugged over her dark red pea coat uncovering his scarf wrapped tightly around her neck. He let out a deep laugh as he rolled off the couch to help her.

“You know Thanksgiving is a week away right?” Bucky asked, raising an eyebrow at her. He took the turkey from her so that she could pull her other arm out of her coat. “And that they don’t celebrate Thanksgiving here?”

“Yes of course I know that Bucky,” she scoffed, untangling the scarf from around her neck. He watched her walk it to her room, then come back out to bring the brown paper bag into the kitchen. “But I was thinking, since, you know…we’re stuck here, we might as well make the best of it and have our own little Thanksgiving. Make it feel a little bit more like home.”

Bucky put the turkey in the freezer, then turned to watch her. Being away from everyone had taken its toll on both of them, but Bucky knew Olivia felt it more. He was used to being on his own, Olivia wasn’t, and despite the semblance of a life they’d built in the cottage together, Bucky knew it wasn’t enough for her.

“Okay,” Bucky nodded. “We can definitely have our own little Thanksgiving,” he grinned, repeating her words. She bit her lip at him as she pulled a stalk of celery from the brown bag. “I assume you’re going to make me do all the cooking?”

“I can help you,” she shrugged. He gave her a skeptical look, he knew she was good at baking, but he wasn’t sure he trusted her cooking skills. “Okay and I’ll bake a pie,” she grinned.

“Just please, anything other than pumpkin,” he laughed.

“Fine,” she said, bumping her hip against him to move him out of her way, “I’ll make apple or something.”

“Perfect,” he grinned.

Bucky stood back, watching her finish up with the groceries. He contemplated, for what to be the hundredth time that week, telling her how he really felt. It passed quickly though, quicker than usual. No matter strong the urge got, he always stopped himself. Before the cottage, before their kiss back in July, he was sure Olivia had feelings for him. But he’d left with every intention of helping her rid herself of those feelings and he was sure now that he’d succeeded. She was more than happy being his friend, and he reasoned with himself that he was okay with it too. He was still positive that he couldn’t be what she needed him to be and disappointing her was not something he wanted to try.

When she finished, she turned to him and placed her hand on her popped him, cocking her head to the side. He’d been caught watching her, not for the first time either. It was becoming increasingly difficult thinking up excuses for being completely unable to take his eyes off of her.

“What?” she asked him.

“Nothing,” he said shaking his head. “I…you just…well you put the vegetables in the fruit drawer so no I’m going to have to go in and change that.”

Bucky placed his hand on her hip and gently moved her out of his way. He took any opportunity he could at initiating any sort of physical contact. She’d moved on from withdrawing from their brief touches and began leaning into them instead. It thrilled him beyond words, but he maintained the boundaries they had for each other, resisting another slip up.

“How many times do I have to tell you,” she laughed, “it’s a fruit or vegetable drawer. You can literally put either or in there.”

“There are labels Olivia!” he scoffed in protest.

“Okay Bucky,” she said, grazing her fingers across his back.

He shivered, but she didn’t notice. She’d already moved past him and into the living room. He kept his head in the refrigerator just a little bit longer, pretending he was still fixing her mistake. In reality, he was just trying to steady his breathing.

* * *

**One Week Later**

“What is that?” Bucky snapped at Olivia. She was mincing onions, poorly, and crying as she did so. “Get out,” he said, pulling the knife from her hand.

“Bucky it’s fine!” she wailed, wiping her cheek with the back of her hand.

“Fine?!” he protested. “Your tears are falling into my onions. You know what? No, these are your onions, I’m not taking any responsibility for these. Have you ever even minced onions before? Don’t answer that, it’s clear that you haven’t.”

Tears were still clouding Olivia’s vision, but she was now doubled over, laughing hysterically at Bucky. He stood glaring down at her, his metal hand resting on his hip. After a moment, she brought herself back up, forcing herself to regain some sort of composure. Her body shook slightly as she tried to hold back more laughter. He rolled his eyes at her as he slid her massacred onions into the trash.

“Hey! Those were good onions!” she shrieked.

“They were a disaster, you are a disaster,” he muttered, slapping down a fresh onion onto the cutting board. “In the kitchen,” he added, “you’re a disaster in the kitchen.”

“You’re too much Bucky,” she snorted. “They’re just onions.”

“If you’re not going to respect the process,” he said firmly, “then you can get out.” He gestured with his knife towards the living room.

Olivia snickered and broke out into another fit of laughter. Bucky calmly set down his knife and walked over to her. He bent down and grabbed her, slinging her over his shoulder. He carried her into the living room and placed her on the sofa, where she continued to laugh. When she finally stood up and moved towards the kitchen, Bucky threw out his hand towards her.

“Nope, I do not need or want your help,” he said firmly, “you can have the kitchen when I’m finished.”

“Alright, alright,” Olivia conceded. She disappeared into her room and came back out wrapping Bucky’s scarf around her neck. “I’m gonna step outside for a minute then, those onions are literally killing me.”

“Yeah, they’re killing me too,” Bucky grumbled.

“What was that?”

“Nothing! Have fun outside!”

She grinned at him as she threw her coat on over her cream-colored knit sweater dress. He didn’t think that her black tights and brown boots were enough to keep her warm, but he was too busy busting out a Thanksgiving dinner for her to say anything. She was still outside when he finally finished up with everything. All that was left was to wait for everything to finish cooking, so he moved into the living room and started a fire.

“BUCKY!” she hollered, slamming the cottage door open.

He jumped up, his body tensing at her loud re-entrance. She didn’t look hurt or like she was in any danger, which calmed him, but only slightly. Her face softened as she noticed the panic that was spread across his own.

“I’m sorry!” she said quickly, rushing over to him. “I didn’t mean to scare you, I just got excited.”

“It’s fine,” he assured her. “Excited for what?”

“It’s snowing,” she grinned.

“Okay?”

“Bucky, it’s the first snow of the season,” she urged, “this is exciting!”

Bucky opened his mouth to protest, knowing that she wanted him to go outside with her. Before he could speak though, she took his hand in hers. It was freezing from being outside with no protection, but her excitement flowed through it, into him. He grinned, rolling his eyes, and allowed her to pull him up and through the front dorr.

There was indeed a light dusting of snow on the ground, and flakes fell softly from the sky. She bobbed excitedly up and down beside him, watching the snowfall around them. Bucky’s hand twitched as she dropped it, his heart sunk lightly too. 

“Okay tell me you’re not enjoying this,” she challenged.

“Olivia,” he chuckled.

“That’s right, you can’t, because the first snow of the season is special and exciting and you know it,” she grinned triumphantly.

“It’s cold,” he grumbled beside her.

The back of her hand brushed lightly against his as she laughed. He was unsure if she had done it on purpose or on accident, either way it made his heart beat faster. It was a split-second decision, taking her hand in his, but he couldn’t resist any longer. She didn’t retract her hand from his, she didn’t even move, but he could feel her heightened edgy energy beside him.

“Bucky,” she said softly.

“Yes?” he tried to keep his voice nonchalant, but it sounded foreign and uneasy, even to him.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Nothing,” he shrugged, “you seemed cold.”

He pulled his hand from hers and shoved both of his inside the pockets in his jacket. She made a small huffing noise, then turned and stormed back into the cottage.

* * *

Olivia had spent a lot of time dissecting every word Bucky said to her, the small touches, the looks. She probably had spent far too much time dissecting those things, and at a certain point she was sure that she was allocating meaning where there was none. As she stormed back into the cottage, she knew she was overacting, after all he hadn’t truly done anything wrong. If Sam had taken her and to warm it up, she probably would have said ‘thank you’ and thought nothing of it. It wasn’t Sam though, it was Bucky, and she was in love with Bucky, so it felt like it meant more, even if it really, really didn’t.

She had started pulling out ingredients to make her pie when she heard the door open and close behind her. Occupying herself with baking would keep her from completely losing it on him. They’d been on such a roll with the whole ‘not fighting’ thing and she certainly wouldn’t be the one to break it. He hadn’t moved, she knew because she hadn’t heard his footsteps. She could almost feel him watching her and for the first time since they’d arrived at the cottage, she desperately wished she were trapped there with anyone else.

“Olivia,” he said slowly. “I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to cross any lines.”

“You didn’t,” she said shaking her head. She kept her back towards him as she began slicing up the apples for her pie.

“Then why are you angry?”

“I’m not.”

“I think we’ve had enough arguments for me to recognize when you’re angry.”

“Do not push me right now Bucky,” she said sharply.

“I’m not trying to push you,” he sighed, “I’m just trying to understand why my actions outside offended you enough to leave.”

The knife dropped from her hand as she finally moved to turn on him. His eyes widened as she minimized the space between them. He took a few reactionary steps backwards, right into the door behind him.

“Do I look crazy to you?” she snapped.

“Right now? A little,” he nodded.

She growled at him and stormed off into her room to snatch the framed picture of them off her dresser. He hadn’t moved from his spot against the door but watched her with wary eyes as she raised up the photograph in front of him.

“What is this?” she asked incredulously.

“It’s a picture of us,” he shrugged.

“You don’t just platonically give someone a framed picture like this, for any reason,” she said, “we were literally faking a relationship in this picture. This is a fake couple picture!”

“I was scrapped for ideas Tiny,” he told her.

Scoffing at him, she threw the picture onto the sofa behind her. She couldn’t tell if he was being serious or if he was just trying to cover up his feelings for her. Again, she felt crazy, as though she should have realized all along that the framed picture of them was nothing more than a last-minute gift that meant absolutely nothing.

“Fine, the picture meant nothing, but the scarf? You can’t just give me your scarf like that?” she said furiously.

“I don't understand,” Bucky said, uneasiness rising up in his voice. He was avoiding eye contact with her, focusing on everything except her. Again, she couldn't tell if he was deflecting or if he was genuinely that stupid.

“Then let me make it perfectly clear,” she said in a low even tone, “you can’t just hold my hand and you can’t keep staring at me with that sly smile and those annoyingly blue eyes. You really, really, have to stop placing your hand on my hip whenever you want to move me out of your way and if you put your forehead on mine one more time without the intention of actually kissing me than I am really going to fucking lose it.”

“Olivia,” Bucky gulped.

“No, I’m not finished. I want to be friends with you Bucky. I desperately want to be friends with you, but you kissed me, and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since.” The words fell from her mouth before she could stop herself.

He was watching her with wide eyes, his shoulders moved up and down as he breathed in and out heavily. Slowly, he peeled himself from the door and moved towards her. She threw up her hands for him to stop and he obeyed, swaying lightly where he stood. He would try and comfort her, as he always did, and that was close to the last thing she wanted from him in the moment. 

“Stop,” she said softly. “You don’t have to say anything, and you don’t have to do anything. You certainly don’t have to comfort me right now.” She pressed her palm to her forehead and squeezed her eyes shut, feeling as though she had absolutely ruined everything.

“Olivia,” Bucky said again.

“No, Bucky stop, really you don’t have to say anything,” she said, cutting him off. “I know the kiss was just…you know…you helping me out in front of my ex. I will get over this, it’s nothing. I just…I let my feelings for you get out of hand, but it’s like…hello…we’re trapped in this tiny cottage together, so I couldn't exactly help it.” 

She could hear herself continue to exhale a stream of excuses and apologies. The last thing she wanted was to ruin the friendship they had built, but it had become too much, keeping her feelings to herself. Now that she'd let it slip, she couldn't stop herself. It was all bubbling to the surface, pouring uncontrollably out of her, and she couldn't stop it. 

“Olivia for the love of God please stop talking,” Bucky growled.

Her mouth snapped shut and her eyes widened in shock. His body jerked slightly, as though he was about to move towards her but thought better of the idea. Olivia couldn’t read his expression, although she assumed he was angry. How could he not be? They’d both worked so hard on the friendship and she’d blown in it in the span of five minutes.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“I thought we decided it was my turn to talk,” he said, eyeing her warily. She gave him a silent nod in return. “Olivia, I didn’t kiss you to help you out. I’d pretty much forgotten your ex was there, I’m not even sure I knew Clint was there. I kissed you because I wanted to kiss you and then I left because that terrified me and so did the thought of you having feelings for me. I thought my absence had taken care of that, I thought your feelings for me had passed.”

“What?” Olivia breathed. She subconsciously took a few more steps forward, bridging the gap between them just a little more.

Bucky moved forward too, closing the gap completely. He looked down at her questioningly for a brief moment, his body twitched slightly with intention, but he kept his hands at his side. Olivia's heart raced at their proximity. She was trying and failing to process his words. 

“You still have feelings for me?” he asked, his eyes full of concern.

“Bucky,” Olivia sighed, “I think I have always loved you. Our connection, my inability to undo it, I think they are just side-effects of how much I love you. I've never been able to recreated it with anyone else, but I haven't loved anyone the way I love you.”

Saying the words out loud, she knew they were true. It felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, telling him that. Then the embarrassment began to set in. He wasn't saying anything, which made her nervous. She glanced up quickly at him, to gage his reaction. He was unhappy with her answer. He took her face in his hands and looked down at her, his brow furrowed in confusion.

“I’m not good enough for you,” he said, his voice trembling as he spoke. “You should love someone else, anyone else.”

“Well I don’t,” she challenged. 

He leaned in and pressed his forehead against hers. Olivia held the frustrated scream in her stomach, she knew he hadn’t forgotten so quickly her request to keep his forehead from hers. His vibranium hand slid around her waist to her lower back. She shivered slightly as his other hand slipped under her jaw, his fingers tangling gently in her curls. His eyes closed and his forehead creased as he spoke his next words.

“What if I told you that I don’t feel the same way?” he asked. “Could you love someone else then?”

Olivia reached her hand up to his face. He opened his eyes to watch her, she could feel an entanglement of complicated, messy emotions wave off of him. He was having problems controlling their connection. 

“I don’t think that’s the case Buck,” she replied.

“But if it were the case…” he trailed off. His words hitched in his throat as she moved her hand over the back of his neck, wrapping her arm around it and pulling herself into him. She could feel his abdomen clench against hers as he breathed out heavily. His body twitched as she slid her free hand just beneath his shirt, resting it gently on the bare skin of his lower abodmen. “You are not playing fair,” he rumbled.

“I’m just calling your bluff,” she whispered against his ear.

“Goddamnit Olivia.”

The force of his lips pressing against her sent her stumbling backwards. He caught her and held her tightly against him, then lowered them both onto the couch behind her. Her hands wove into his hair as she leaned back onto the sofa, pulling him down with her. Their bodies moved rhythmically against each other, as their lips parted desperately for one another. She tugged his hoodie off of him and ran her fingers up the skin his arm, stopping at his bicep. He paused, shivering slightly against her touch.

“I’m going to fuck this up,” he breathed. His eyes were scared, full of uncertainty.

She ran her fingers through his hair, brushing it out of his face. He closed his eyes against her touch. Her thumb trailed over his cheek, then down, across his jaw. She moved up to his lips, tracing them gently with her fingertips. She placed her lips on his, kissing him soft and deep. He breathed out heavily when she pulled away.

“Take your time Bucky,” she told him. “I’m not going anywhere.”

He nodded and leaned in to kiss her again but was stopped by a sudden knocking on their door. They looked at each other, confusion spreading across both of their faces. She could feel Bucky’s body tense on top of hers, he was immediately on guard. Bucky jumped off of her as the door swung open.

“Happy Thanksgiving nerds,” Natasha said, walking through the doorway.

Clint and Steve trailed in behind her, followed shortly by Sam, Tony, and Rhodey. Olivia sat up, staring at them in shock. She and Bucky exchanged a quick glance, then pulled their eyes apart. Olivia hopped that the blush in her cheeks wasn’t as obvious as the red in Bucky’s.

“Oh good, you’ve already started cooking,” Rhodey said, waltzing towards the kitchen. He bent down to check the oven, nodding in approval.

Steve raised an eyebrow at them as Tony planted himself firmly in between them both. Natasha too seemed to have caught on to their uncomfortable aura. Her arms were crossed, and she was watching them with a sly smirk. Clint had followed Rhodey into the kitchen but had gone straight for the refrigerator and pulled out a carrot. Sam’s eyes lingered on Clint, but he hung back, by the front door.

“Well this is…unexpected,” Bucky muttered.

“We were in the area,” Steve told him, trying to hold back a grin. Bucky glared up at him and shook his head slightly. “Not that you two needed the company of course,” Steve added.

Tony kicked his feet up on the coffee table as Bucky sighed heavily at his friend. Sam, seemingly caught on and grinned broadly at Olivia, wiggling his eyebrows. Tony was still blissfully unaware that they’d all walked in on a very private, very intimate moment between the two.

“Is it hot in here?” Tony asked, glancing at Olivia. “It feels hot in here.”

Sam snorted; Steve reached out to backhand him against his chest. Olivia groaned and pushed herself up from the couch. She moved to the kitchen, smiling broadly at Clint and Rhodey, giving them each a hug. Tony looked over to Bucky, his eyebrow raised.

“What’d I say?” Tony asked.

“Nothing,” Bucky laughed, shaking his head. “Don’t worry about it Stark.”

"This should be a fun Thanksgiving," Sam said, grinning down at Bucky. 

"Yep," Bucky nodded sarcastically, "great...so happy to have you all."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up is actual Thanksgiving dinner and some wild shenanigans. Hope you're all ready! As always thank you for reading and showing my little fic some love. Appreciate you all and your lovely comments! <3


	33. Too Many Cookies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Sorry for the late posting! November was insane for me, I made a huge move from the LA are to the SF area, had a covid scare, and have been working through classes. I also started a new fic, because I was inspired by a new idea. But! I am back! And here is the newest chapter! Sorry for the jump, I was excited to dive into some Christmassy themed ideas. We're gonna get a little cheesy in the next few chapters, but it's the holiday season and it feels right :) I hope you all enjoy! Thank you to everyone who is sticking with me and stay safe out there!

When Olivia thought back to Thanksgiving in the small cottage, what she remembered was warmth and laughter. She remembered Tony bringing in extra food, because of course he had come prepared. Sam and Bucky made jokes, Clint and Rhodey helped her bake her pie. Steve made a fire and Natasha pretended like she was put out by having to spend time with people.

Then, she remembered other things too, things that should have tipped her off. Steve fidgeted anytime Bucky and Olivia made eye contact, Tony kept unusually near to window, Clint and Rhodey stayed too close to her, Sam laughed too loudly, Natasha smiled too much. Olivia should have been able to pick up on the nervous energy in the room. She should have been able to, but she didn’t, because she was too happy, too distracted.

They waited until after dinner, until after pie to tell Olivia and Bucky. Tony spoke first, Zemo had disappeared, it had been too long, they couldn’t be sure of where he was. Steve went next, they were sure now that the target was Bucky and there was nowhere at their disposal that was safe enough for him. He had to be moved, specifically to Wakanda, where no one could find him. This time, Olivia would not be going with him. She didn't need to, she was safe enough with Tony and Steve.

Olivia felt like the ground had been ripped out from beneath her. Bucky sat next to her the entire time, he didn’t say a word, but when she started to fight, he took her hand and held it tightly in his. It wasn’t fair. She had just told him she loved him, they were finally past all of the fighting and the bullshit. It was so fresh though, not even a day old. Olivia was too afraid of what might happen if they were separated for too long. 

Tony was sorry, Steve was sorry, they were all sorry, but if she wanted to keep Bucky safe, he needed to be in Wakanda. And she would be more useful with them, with Steve, Tony, and the rest of the time. They packed their things, and everyone made themselves scarce, sensing the Bucky and Olivia needed a moment alone.

_****_

_"This isn’t forever,” he told her._

_“Right,” she nodded, “no I know.”_

_He moved forward and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to him. His forehead pressed lightly against hers. Olivia smiled sadly._

_“I don’t know what to say,” he said, his voice sounding gruff and strained._

_“It’s fine Buck, you don’t have to say anything,” she told him. “Like you said, this isn’t forever. You’ll be back soon enough.”_

_He nodded his head against hers, then kissed her forehead gently. She knew he wasn’t going to kiss her; she knew it wouldn’t feel right if he did. Instead he held her chin in his hand and ran his thumb across her lips. Snow fell lightly on them, a few small flakes caught on the lashes of his melancholy eyes._

_“Just…don’t go falling in love with anyone else while I’m gone, Tiny,” he said, trying his best at a nonchalant laugh. It caught in his throat and he pressed his lips firmly together to control it._

_“Okay,” Olivia laughed tearfully. "Bucky I..."_

_"Please don't say it again Olivia," he said, pressing his forehead against hers again. "I can't hear you say it right now."_

_Nodding her head, she closed her eyes. He pressed his lips to her forehead one last time. When she opened her eyes again, he was gone, but she knew he would be. He’d left with Sam and Steve. Clint was beside her, he took her hand led her back into the cottage, where the others were waiting to take her home._

_****_

* * *

“One of you has to talk to her.”

“I really think you should be the one to do this Nat.”

“Me? Clint, you’re her best friend.”

“No, Steve is her best friend.”

“Well he isn’t here right now.”

“Maybe you should do it Rhodey.”

“I have zero qualifications!”

Olivia had her back to Clint, Nat, and Rhodey in the kitchen. They didn’t realize that she could absolutely hear them. Not that it mattered, Olivia wasn’t about to let on that she could hear them, she was ignoring them. She was busy, baking cookies. Baking cookies, because baking was Olivia’s way with dealing with stress or anxiety or a broken heart or whatever.

She was fine, really she was. It wasn’t like Bucky was going to be gone in Wakanda forever or like she couldn’t have any communication with him at all. In fact, there were at least five or six unread text messages from him on her phone at the moment. They were superficial check ins, probably carbon copies of what he was sending Steve. So, she was ignoring those too.

The problem was that she had told Bucky that she loved him, and he wouldn’t or couldn’t say it back. He wouldn't let her tell him she loved him again. Hell, he hadn’t even kissed her goodbye. She didn't know why he had told her not to say it again. She wasn't sure if she should have even said it in the first place. There was a whole laundry list of unknowns. None of them mattered though, because Bucky was still gone, Olivia was still raw, and until she saw him again, she wouldn’t truly know how he felt. So, Olivia was ignoring her friends, ignoring her phone, and ignoring the knot in her stomach that told her this was all her fault.

Clint walked over to her, slowly so as not to frighten her, or at least that’s what she assumed he was doing. He hopped up on the counter where she was pouring the ingredients for gingerbread cookies into a bowl. Nothing said “Christmas” like gingerbread cookies, and Olivia was determined to have a damn good Christmas at the very least.

“Livvy,” Clint said eyeing her cautiously.

“What Clint?” she snapped, not bothering to look up from her baking.

“I just…well I mean we were just…wondering if maybe this was going to be your last batch of cookies,” he told her gently.

“We?” she asked, barely looking up from her mixing.

Clint glanced over to where Natasha and Rhodey had stood, at the edge of the kitchen. Evidently, they’d left him to handle Olivia on his own, without letting him know. She of course had sensed them leave, but it was much more fun letting Clint scramble.

“Oh goddamnit,” he growled. He huffed, then turned his attention back to her. “Okay look, you’ve been baking for days and while you know that we all love everything you make…we’re…I’m just not sure that there are enough of us to eat…well all of that.”

He gestured his hand around the kitchen and Olivia paused briefly to follow his gaze. Cookies covered a majority of the counter space and the entire kitchen table. She’d even set a batch atop the refrigerator when she realized that space was running low. Olivia stopped mixing and glared up at him.

“It’s Christmas Clint,” she said slowly.

“Well, in two weeks yeah,” he nodded, scratching his head nervously.

“What says ‘Christmas’ better than cookies?” she asked.

“Oh I don’t know,” he shrugged, “lights, carols, Christmas trees, spending time with your-”

“Do not finish that sentence,” she growled.

“Hey you asked,” he winked.

He gave her a devilish grin and dipped his finger in her bowl of batter before she could stop him. Olivia snatched her mix away from him, glaring angrily at her friend. He slipped his finger into his mouth, chuckling lightly.

“Come on Livvy,” Clint said, nudging her. “What happened with you two anyway? Why are you aggressively baking when you know you’re going to see him again?”

“There’s no telling how long it will be before we see each other again,” she said, focusing her attention back on mixing her batter.

Clint opened his mouth to speak, then abruptly snapped it shut, his eyes leering at the edge of the kitchen. Olivia could feel the mood in the room shift and she knew that it was Sam. She looked up at Clint, his jaw was clenched, in fact his entire body was tense. She reached her hand out slowly to rest on his arm, but he snatched it away from her. He slid off the counter, Olivia turned to watch him walk towards Sam.

“Clint, wait,” Sam said, desperation coating his voice.

Clint didn’t wait, he didn’t respond. Instead he breezed past Sam. He pulled out his hearing aids as he walked past and waved them in the air, indicating that whatever it was that Sam had to say, he was no longer listening.

Sam sighed, nodding his head in resignation. Olivia watched as he dropped into one of the kitchen chairs. She didn’t stop him when he went for his first cookie, his second, or third. When he reached his fourth in under three minutes, she moved from her gingerbread mix to sit next to him at the table. He glanced up at her, his dark eyes were exhausted and sad.

“We haven’t been in the same room since October,” Sam told her, biting into his cookie. “The cottage at Thanksgiving was the closest we’d been in weeks and he let me know every chance he got how despicable he found it.”

“What happened Sam?” Olivia asked softly.

“He didn’t tell you?” Sam asked.

“No,” she shook her head. “Not really. I mean I am incredibly intuitive, so I knew there was something going on.”

“Oh, we’re calling it intuitiveness now?” Sam laughed sharply.

“Call it what you want,” Olivia smirked. “Anyway, he didn’t say anything Sam. I think he was respecting your privacy.”

“I fucked up,” Sam said plainly. “I’ve never been with a man before Olivia.”

“Clint wasn’t understanding of that?” Olivia asked, trying her best to hide the shock in her voice.

“He was,” Sam nodded, “It was my fault, everything. It was new and real, and I was terrified. The minute someone found out, I panicked and I pushed him away, in just the worst way possible. And then, because I’m and idiot or an asshole, I came back, thinking I could make it work. Rhodey walked in on the middle of something, he didn’t see anything, but I panicked. Clint hasn’t spoken to me since.”

Olivia nodded, listening intently to Sam’s story. She’d known, of course she’d known that there was something going on between them and that whatever it was had ended in a mess. She pushed the plate of cookies towards him as he polished off his fourth. Olivia didn't have to use her powers of perception to know how Sam was feeling. Entirely different scenarios, same result. Two heartbroken people, sitting in front of a kitchen table full of cookies.

“I guess I baked these for you,” she said, giving him a small smile.

“Yeah,” Sam chuckled sadly, “thanks.” He took another and devoured it quickly. “What is this all about anyway?” he asked, raising another cookie at her. "You only bake when you're upset."

“Oh,” she sighed, “well…I just…it’s Christmas and you know how cookies and Christmas go together.”

“I’m not that stupid Harrington,” Sam said, raising an eyebrow at her. “What happened in that little cottage Liv?”

Olivia hesitated, she wanted desperately to talk about it. Then again, she didn’t want to ever think about it again. She glanced up at Sam, who had just poured his guts out to her. If anyone deserved the story, it was Sam. Sam had been with her at the very beginning of all her Bucky bullshit, he'd rescued Bucky from running into a building for her, he'd earned it. A heavy sigh escaped her lips and she reached out for her own cookie.

“Well,” she started, “about point five seconds before you all walked in to wish us a very happy Thanksgiving, Bucky and I were tangled up on the couch in the middle of a very steamy make out session.” She could feel her cheeks reddening as she spoke. Sam’s impish grin did not help her case. “Stop looking at me like that,” she groaned.

“I’m sorry,” he laughed, “it’s just…you have no idea how long every single person in this building has been waiting for this.”

“Well, whatever it was…it was a fleeting, in the moment, a onetime thing,” Olivia grumbled.

“Yeah, I’m not buying that,” Sam snorted.

“I’m serious Sam,” she said. “We made so much progress, we were even friends for a bit there. Then I ruined it, I told him that I was in love with him. He kissed me and then tried to convince me that loving him was a bad idea.”

“You think you ruined it by…telling him that you’re in love with him?” Sam asked.

“Yeah.”

“But after you told him you loved him, he kissed you?”

“Yes Sam.”

“Okay, I’m sorry, I’m not seeing how you ruined it,” Sam shook his head, leaning back in his chair.

“He didn’t say it back Sam,” Olivia said. “He kissed me and told me I shouldn’t love him. I pushed it, I pushed him and when he said he was going to mess it up, I told him to take his time. And then you all showed up and when we said our goodbyes, all he could say was ‘don’t go falling in love with anyone else’,” she did her best impression of him.

“Olivia,” Sam scoffed, “come on, the man is so clearly head over heels in love with you. He asked you not to fall in love with anyone else. It was poor timing, and he is just so incredibly insecure, but he loves you, I’m sure of it.”

Olivia groaned as she dropped her head to her hand. It was easy for him to say. It was so easy for any of the others to speculate about their relationship, but the truth was, only Bucky and Olivia were in it. 

“You don’t understand Sam,” she said slowly. “Everything about our relationship is so incredibly fragile and I pushed him, I pushed us. You might be sure, but I can’t be. I don’t know if whatever happened between us before you all showed up, was just him reacting to me, or if my feelings were so overwhelming, they got the better of us both.”

“You think your emotions affected him,” Sam nodded.

“I am afraid that in that moment, he couldn’t tell the difference between my feelings and his,” Olivia said, her voice breaking.

She hadn't realized it until she said it out loud. But it was entirely possible that she loved Bucky so much, that when she'd told him, he was overwhelmed by her feelings. He could have mistaken hers for his own. She didn't know and she couldn't ask him. 

“I hear you,” Sam said, “but I just don’t think it’s reality.”

“The reality is,” Olivia laughed bitterly, “that Bucky isn’t here to clear it up for either of us and I don’t know when he will be.”

Sam offered her another cookie. She laughed tearfully as she took it. They sat in silence for a few moments, digesting their woes and their treats together.

“You know,” Sam said finally, “if this was a Christmas movie, we’d both get super cheesy, romantic happy endings.”

“Yeah,” Olivia laughed, “someone running through an airport to profess their unyielding love.”

“Kissing under some mistletoe,” Sam added.

“Oh, don’t forget a romantic New Year’s Eve kiss, just as the clock strikes twelve and all hope has seemingly run out,” Olivia grinned.

“Lame,” Sam chuckled.

“Yeah,” Olivia nodded. She laughed softly, mostly to herself, thinking of all the cheesy endings she’d watched. Bucky couldn’t be with her; she wouldn’t get her holiday happy ending. She glanced at Sam, narrowing her eyes at him.

“What?” he asked, noticing her looking at him.

“I can’t get my super lame, super romantic, Christmas movie ending,” she said, “but what if you could get yours.”

“Come on,” Sam scoffed, “don’t be ridiculous. Clint won’t even listen to anything I have to say.”

“Are you ready to be with him?” Olivia asked. “Like for real are you ready to really and truly be with Clint?”

“Yeah,” Sam nodded. “I want to tell the world that I’m in love with him, ideally I would let him know first though.”

“So, let’s do it,” Olivia said brightly.

“Do what Harrington?” Sam asked exasperated.

Her eyes glinted up at him. Clint wasn't an entirely unreasonable man, and she knew that he still had feelings for Sam. Clint would be indifferent to Sam's presence by now, if his feelings were truly gone. Besides, Olivia could feel the love Clint still had for Sam seep out of him every time Sam entered a room, but that was an invasion of privacy. 

The corners of Sam's lips twitched upward as he watched Olivia working through things in her head. What a perfect distraction it was and at the end, maybe two of her best friends would find happiness. She grinned broadly back at him. 

“Let’s get you your cheesy holiday happy ending Sam Wilson."


	34. Cheesy Christmas Endings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, a Cheesy Christmas ending. I know, it's super corny, that is the point! I hope you all love it!

Christmas Eve Eve

Olivia stepped out of the steaming hot shower and wrapped her towel around herself. Her phone sat on the bathroom counter, playing music through the fancy Bluetooth speaker that Tony had given her for her birthday. She still barely knew all of its functions, playing music was enough. The phone screen lit up and from where she stood, she could see at she’d missed quite a few notifications. She knew that none were from Bucky. He’d stopped sending her messages earlier in the month, after she’d kept her responses short and his calls went ignored and unanswered. They’re connection wasn’t doing her any favors either. She could feel him still, his conscience present in her being and hers in his, as they always had been, but neither had been reaching out to strengthen it.

Sam had brought up, more than once, that she was being unreasonable. Truthfully, he was probably right. Olivia and Bucky had, after all, been working on their friendship before the incident. It would be completely normal for them to continue on that path, even it was just through text messages. Olivia didn’t know how though; she didn’t know how to move backwards. The more she ruminated on the events of the entire evening the more embarrassed she was. She’d practically thrown herself at him. And yes, he had kissed her, a lot, but without any confirmation, she became less and less sure that he felt the same.

Out of the bathroom, Olivia changed into dark was jeans and a light blue sweater. She threw on a pair of Christmas socks, adorned with old fashioned Christmas lights. It didn’t matter that she wasn’t in the Christmas spirit, she would force herself into it if she had to. Besides, she had work to do for Sam, and she was banking on a happy ending for him.

She was in the middle of towel drying her curls when someone knocked on her door. Olivia chucked the towel onto her bed and crossed to her door to open it. Steve stood on the other side; his hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans. He wasn’t always easy for Olivia to feel, but his insecurity hit her so hard that she had to catch her breath.

“Hey Liv,” he said, smiling awkwardly at her.

“Hi Steve.” She attempted a smile back, but the air was uncomfortable. Shaking her head slightly she opened the door a little wider. “Come in,” she told him.

It didn’t come as a shock, his awkwardness and uncomfortably. Olivia knew that he hadn’t been on any missions, which meant that his avoidance had been intentional. In truth, Olivia had neglected to handle his absence altogether. She was barely handling the loss of Bucky, trying to decode Steve’s dismissive behavior as well was altogether too much for her.

As she made her way back over to her bed, she half expected Steve to disregard her offer to join her in her bedroom, opting for lingering awkwardly by the door. He did follow her inside though and lingered awkwardly in the center of her room instead.

“What’s up?” she asked, scrunching her hair in her towel again.

“I uh…nice socks,” he said, catching sight of her decorative feet.

“Thanks,” she replied, “I’m trying to force some holiday spirit.”

Steve pressed his lips together, scowling slightly as he nodded. He pulled his hands out of his pockets as he sat down in her plushy armchair. This surprised Olivia and she chucked her towel into her hamper, then sat down across from him on her bed. 

“I guess I should apologize,” Steve said, after a short moment.

“For what?” she pressed, staring him down. She already knew what he was apologizing for, but she wanted to hear him say it.

“I’ve been avoiding you,” he told her. “You and Bucky, I expected it, I have been expecting it. Hell, I was even rooting for it. Still, it caught me off guard.”

“There is no ‘me and Bucky’ Steve,” Olivia said sharply.

“Right,” Steve nodded. “Have you talked to him?”

“Have you?”

“He’s my best friend Olivia. I talk to him all the time.”

Olivia’s heart skipped at Steve’s response. What had Bucky said to Steve that he hadn’t said to her? What did Steve know that Olivia didn’t?

“Is he…how is he?” Olivia asked.

“Olivia,” Steve said, leaning forward to place his elbows on his knees, “I love you and I love Buck, but whatever is going on between you two…well it’s between you two.”

“I can’t,” Olivia breathed. “Steve, I can’t. I’m too fucking scared. He couldn’t say it back or he wouldn’t say it back. I told him I loved him, and he begged me to love someone else.”

“Is that all he said Olivia? Or is that all you heard?” Steve asked.

Olivia curled her legs up and crisscrossed them in front of her. She set her elbows on her knees and dropped her head into her hands. He _had_ asked her to love someone else, but his last words to her were a plea to not go falling in love with anyone else. She remembered his terrified eyes as he told her he was going to fuck it up. When all was said and done, she’d been the one to push him away. Olivia had been the one to fuck it up. It was all so confusing, and she was exhausted from reliving every second of that evening.

“I don’t need this right now Steve,” she grumbled. “I am really busy right now, trying to make Christmas happen for people.”

She felt the bed beside her sink. Steve’s shoulder nudged into her. Sighing, she lifted her head to look up at him. He was smiling down at her.

“I don’t know what he wants and at this point I’m too afraid to ask,” she admitted softly.

Steve sighed and wrapped his arm around her. “You two are going to figure this out Liv,” he told her, squeezing her gently.

“Well aren’t you a little optimist,” Olivia snickered.

“C’mon Liv, it’s Christmas,” Steve nudged her, “who isn’t an optimist around Christmas? Speaking of which, who are you trying to make Christmas happen for?”

“You’ll see,” Olivia said smirking. “But that does remind me that I do have to go take care of some things.”

“Oh fine,” Steve laughed. “Before you go though, I have to ask. What do you want for Christmas?”

“Steve it’s Christmas Eve Eve and you’re not finished Christmas shopping?” Olivia asked, absolutely horrified.

“There’s plenty of time,” Steve said, laughing her off.

“You’re crazy,” Olivia grinned, shaking her head at him. “I don’t want anything Steve, really. Don’t worry about it.”

“That’s a lie,” Steve said. “I wish I could get you what you really want Liv.”

Olivia smiled up at him with a grateful nod. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head gently, gave her one more squeeze, then stood and left her.

* * *

Christmas Eve

Clint had never really cared for Christmas. It wasn’t just that his year he’d had his heart broken…no…mangled in just the worst way possible. It certainly didn’t have anything to do with the fact that the Heart Mangler was living in the same close quarters as him, constantly walking into rooms that Clint was occupying and monopolizing the time of Clint’s friends. No, Clint had always been unenthusiastic about the entire holiday season. People got over excited for what? Some lights and sappy music? Overpriced presents and baked goods that were far too sweet? Worst of all were the horrendous Christmas that Olivia had been shoving down his throat whenever she wasn’t sneaking around with Sam. Basically, Clint thought Christmas was overrated, every part of it, and absolutely none of that had anything to do with Wilson.

Olivia was pushy though and she came into his room with a plateful of cookies, not too sweet because she was also manipulative and knew how to get her way. He tried to fight her. A Christmas Eve movie night with the rest of the Avengers, Heart Mangler included, did not sound like his idea of a good time. He fought hard; Olivia fought harder.

“Please Clint,” she begged giving him sad eyes.

“No Livvy,” Clint said. He bit into an Iron Man gingerbread cookie. “I don’t feel like watching some sappy Christmas movie where everyone gets their happy ending. It’s first of all, not realistic, and second of all…it’s lame.”

“You are such a Scrooge Barton,” she rolled her eyes at him. She collapsed onto his bed and interlaced her fingers atop her stomach. “Look, Tony put up a projector on the roof. He’s got heaters and blankets and hot chocolate. It’s a whole big thing. You have to come.”

“You got Tony to put a projector on the roof?” Clint asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

“He feels bad for me, I used it to my advantage.”

“You’re unbelievable.”

“Are you coming or not?”

“Not. Pay attention, we just went over this.”

Olivia huffed and bolted upright. She stormed over to Clint, at his desk, and snatched the plate of Avengers gingerbread men from him.

“I brought you cookies,” she sneered.

“You’re being dramatic,” Clint told her flatly, “you don’t need me there. You have everyone else, plus Sam…your new best friend.”

“Are you angry with me for hanging out with Sam?” Olivia asked, narrowing her eyes at him.

“No,” Clint lied. He was angry, annoyed that Olivia had been spending so much time with Sam, knowing that he that had hurt Clint so intensely.

“You’re a bad liar,” Olivia told him.

“Yeah, well, that’s Nat’s expertise,” Clint grumbled.

“Clint,” Olivia said gently, “I am so sorry if my spending time with Sam hurt you. I care about you both and he needed a friend, so I offered up my time.”

“No, it’s fine,” Clint sighed, “just because I hate him, doesn’t mean everyone else should. I guess if a person tried really hard, they could find some good qualities in him.”

Olivia smirked slightly. She handed Clint the plate of cookies and went back to his bed. Clint picked up the Falcon cookie and bit it’s head off. He almost couldn’t believe she’d included him in the line-up in the first place.

“I fucked up with Bucky,” Olivia told him suddenly. “I fucked up really bad and now I don’t know what’s going to happen.”

“That man is so in love with you it’s not even funny,” Clint snorted. “Whatever you did, he’ll forgive you, trust me.”

“Well,” Olivia laughed lightly, “I wish I could. But I’m not convinced I should be taking advice from you on forgiveness.”

Clint’s head snapped up to meet her gaze. She was good, it was impossible to deny that. Her body leaned forward, watching him intently. A small, satisfied grin played across her lips.

“It’s different,” Clint said, shaking his head.

“When it comes down to it, it’s not,” Olivia shrugged. “All I’m saying, is that whenever I do see Bucky again, I hope he’s at the very least, willing to listen to what I say.”

Clint glared at her momentarily. He picked up the gingerbread cookie that was decorated to look like her and bit it’s head off too.

“If I agree to go to this stupid movie night will you shut up about Sam?” he asked.

“Yes, fine, yes,” Olivia said shortly. “Now get ready, you have an hour. It’s Christmas…look like it’s Christmas.”

She didn’t wait for Clint to ask what she meant by ‘get ready’, he thought he was ready. And what did ‘look like it’s Christmas’ mean anyway? He considered ignoring her entirely, his presence was enough. But he couldn’t exactly remember the last time he showered, and he had definitely been wearing the same pair of sweatpants for at least a couple of days. He certainly didn’t want Sam knowing that he’d been living like a bum in his off time. So, he dragged himself into the shower and spent at least thirty minutes after, searching for the right outfit.

By the time Olivia had come back, he’d settled on a pair of dark was jeans and a dark green sweater, the closest thing to Christmas attire he could find. He narrowed his eyes at Olivia, who hardly looked Christmassy herself, in short, long sleeved, black velvet dress and black tights. 

“You don’t look very ready for a holiday movie night,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Well to be fair neither do you, but I suppose it’ll work,” she said, walking over to his closet. After a moment of rummaging, she pulled out his black peacoat and a maroon scarf. “Here,” she said, handing him the jacket, “it’s freezing up there.”

“You’ve already been up there?” he asked as she wrapped the scarf around his neck.

“No,” she said. Her eyes distinctly avoided meeting his. “I’m just assuming. It is December in New York after all.”

“Right,” Clint nodded, “where’s your jacket?”

Olivia huffed, pushing herself away from him. Her hands shot to her hips as she stared him down furiously. Clint had to hold back a snort as her toe started tapping angrily.

“Well Barton, I forgot it because I had to come collect your ass, otherwise I knew you’d bail one me,” she told him sharply. “Come on, let’s go, I’ll just text Nat to bring me one.”

Clint nodded, biting back his smirk. He followed her out of his room, shutting his door behind him. As they trailed through the compound, Clint’s nerves began to get the better of him. Since their disastrous ending, Clint had only really been around Sam a handful of times. He’d also been, for the most part, avoiding everyone else in the compound, other than Natasha.

“Maybe I don’t have to do this,” Clint said, as the ascended the stairs to the roof.

Olivia turned on him, her eyes soft. She reached out and put her hands on his cheeks, smiling at him gently. He breathed in with her and as they breathed out, his anxieties dissipated slightly.

“Clint,” she said gently, “it’s going to be okay.” She smiled again, then pushed open the door. “No one is here yet,” she said, turning back to him, “go pick get a seat, I’ll grab my jacket.”

“I thought Nat was bringing you one,” Clint mumbled.

“Yeah, I don’t think I can wait,” Olivia laughed. She reached out, then brought her hand back in, showing him a palmful of snow.

“Fine,” Clint smirked. “Don’t take forever Livvy. If Sam gets here before anyone else, I’m leaving and not coming back.”

“Understood,” she nodded.

He walked past her out onto the rooftop. It was indeed snowing lightly; a dusting of white covered the roof. Fairy lights were strung above him. A smattering of fluffy blankets and pillows were strewn over a single loveseat in the center of the rooftop. Sam stood, leaning casually against the back of the loveseat, watching him nervously.

“What is this?” Clint asked, cautiously.

“Clint,” Sam started.

“Was Olivia in on this the entire time?” Clint asked sharply.

“Yeah,” Sam nodded.

Clint turned on his heel and tugged at the rooftop door. He knew it was going to be locked before he even tired, still he kicked the door hard when he couldn’t get it open. He stormed furiously over to Sam, stopping dead in front of Sam’s face. Sam didn’t budge, didn’t even flinch, he did take in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“Let me off this roof,” he growled.

“I just need you to hear me out Clint,” Sam said. His deep umber eyes pleaded with Clint.

“I don’t want to hear you out Sam,” Clint said sharply.

“I know I fucked up,” Sam said, pushing himself from the couch, edging even closer to Clint’s face. Clint closed his eyes briefly, taking in Sam’s scent, focusing on why he hated this man so much. “If you’ll just give me a chance,” Sam said softly.

Clint took a step back, glaring at him furiously. “I gave you a second chance Sam, you fucked it up almost instantaneously. So no, I don’t want to listen to you,” he spat. “What I want is for you to let me off this roof.”

“Clint please,” Sam said, moving towards him again.

Clint let out a sharp, bitter laugh, taking another step back from Sam. He pulled out his hearing aids and shoved them into his pocket.

“Talk all you want Sam!” he said angrily. “I don’t need to hear it.”

To Clint’s surprise, the corner of Sam’s mouth ticked upward slightly. Clint blinked hard, making sure he wasn’t losing his eyesight too. Sure enough, a small smile was playing across Sam’s lips. Sam took in a deep breath, closed his eyes, and released it slowly.

“ _I am so sorry Clint,”_ he signed slowly. “ _I am so stupid for losing you. I am the biggest idiot in the world. I love you, Clint Barton.”_

“What are you doing?” Clint laughed, in disbelief.

 _“I knew you wouldn’t listen,”_ Sam signed, shrugging lightly.

Clint stared at him, mouth agape. Sam’s signing was messy, he had lazy fingers and zero nuance. Clint was also pretty sure that he’d practiced those choice sentence for weeks now and probably didn’t know many others. He reached into his pockets and slowly, put his hearing aids back in.

“You are an idiot,” Clint nodded.

“I know.”

“You learned to sign?”

“I’m working on it.”

Clint moved forward, closing in the gap between them. “Good,” Clint said, smirking slightly, “your signing needs a lot of work.”

“YouTube only works so well,” Sam shrugged. He gave Clint a nervous smile, “It would be really helpful if I actually had a real person to learn from.”

“I’ll ask around,” Clint told him.

Sam groaned and dropped his head backwards. Clint laughed, he wrapped his arms around Sam’s waist and pulled the man against himself. Sam touched his head to Clint’s, he smiled sadly.

“I am so sorry,” he said softly. “I was scared…I mean I still am scared…but I shouldn’t have let that come between us.”

“Sam, it’s okay to be afraid,” Clint said, “I get it. It’s big for you, that’s okay. But if we do this, you need to trust me with that fear. We can work through it together.”

“Okay,” Sam nodded against him.

Sam’s hands trailed up Clint’s back and rested at the nape of Clint’s neck. Clint’s eyes closed as their lips met, he’d missed Sam’s lips.

“I told Steve,” Sam said, briefly pausing their kiss.

“How’d he take it?” Clint asked.

“Uh…apparently we were never as slick as I thought,” Sam chuckled lightly.

Clint nodded, grinning broadly, then he pressed his lips into Sam’s again, kissing him deeply. Sam smiled into their kiss and pulled back again. Clint almost groaned in displeasure, but Sam’s eyes were serious as he tucked his forefinger under Clint’s chin.

“I love you Clint Barton,” he said gently.

“You already said that,” Clint smirked.

“Yeah well, I needed you to hear it too,” Sam told him.

“I love you too,” Clint replied. He let out an unabashedly loud laugh, too happy to contain himself. “I really hate cheesy Christmas endings,” he said, “but I guess this one isn’t so bad.”

Sam grinned broadly. He leaned in, kissing Clint deeply once again.

* * *

Olivia listened at the door until she could no longer hear yelling. Once the yelling at stopped and their muffled voices went silent, she knew that her work with Sam was finished. He’d gotten his stupid, cheesy Christmas ending. She descended the stairs, smiling to herself, trying not to feel too bad about her own Christmas ending…or lack thereof.

She was snapped out of her melancholy by Tony, who stood at the bottom of the stairs, arms crossed over his chest. He was watching her with narrowed eyes and pursed lips.

“Okay couple of questions,” he said, as she reached the last step, “where have you been? Is my loveseat on the roof? And are Wilson and Barton canoodling on it in the snow?”

“Well…yes and probably to the last two questions,” Olivia said, “and the answer to the first, is that I was putting your loveseat on the roof and trying to make that canoodle business happen.”

Tony nodded, sufficiently appeased by her answer. He dropped his arms to his side, throwing one around her shoulder and leading her out of the hallway.

“Alright, well, good for you, making their Christmas merry and bright,” he grinned. “Here’s the thing,” he told her, steering her into the living room, “I have your Christmas present, but it’s just…well it’s too damn big to fit under the tree and just too awkward to warp.”

“You couldn’t pay someone to wrap a giant, awkwardly shaped present for you?” Olivia asked, smirking up at him.

“Just…shut up and stand here,” he said, placing her beside the Christmas tree.

The room was dark, other than the lights emanating from the tree and from various places in the room around her. Tony smiled at her, squeezing her shoulders gently.

“I told you I didn’t need anything,” Olivia sighed. “Is it a giant TV? I don’t need a giant TV.”

“Shut. Up. Olive.” Tony said shortly.

“Oh good, you found her,” Steve said, coming into the room. He grinned broadly at her, “Listen, Liv, I didn’t know what to get you and Tony said I could just go in on this gift with him. So…I hope you don’t mind, but it’s joint gift from the both of us.”

“Fine,” Olivia said shaking her head, “whatever, I told you both I was fine. Why are you looking at me like that?”

“It’s just…Tony…you’re such an idiot,” Steve laughed slightly.

“Oh shucks, I mean really, I am so stupid,” Tony said, his eyes glancing towards the ceiling above Olivia.

“What?” Olivia sighed, following his gaze.

She groaned, seeing a sprig of mistletoe hanging above her. Steve and Tony were watching her, trying to hold back laughter. Olivia crossed her arms and started to walk out from under.

“You can’t do that Olive!” Tony shouted, “It’s bad Christmas luck!”

“Tony,” Olivia groaned, “come one. I’m not kissing either of you idiots, so please, just let me go to bed.”

“Uh…what if you didn’t have to kiss either of them?”

Olivia’s eyes widened at Bucky’s voice. She looked up at Steve and Tony in complete shock. Tony winked at her.

“Merry Christmas Liv,” Steve said, giving her hand a small squeeze.

They both backed up, then turned and walked away, leaving her under the mistletoe. Slowly, Olivia turned to face Bucky.

“Hey,” he said, smiling softly.

“What are you doing here?” Olivia breathed.

“Well, you wouldn’t talk to me and Steve didn’t know what to get you for Christmas,” Bucky said.

“How long are you staying?” she asked, tears welling up in her eyes.

“Not long,” Bucky admitted.

“Bucky,” she began, starting to move towards him.

“Wait,” Bucky said, holding up his hand to stop her. He pointed his finger upwards, “Mistletoe,” he smiled.

Olivia’s breath hitched in her chest as he moved towards her. He stopped in front of her and tucked his hand under her jaw, pulling her face up towards his. Her body tingled with excitement as their lips touched and his energy flowed into her. When they finally released, Olivia looked up at him. She let out a giddy laugh and dropped her head against his chest. His arms wrapped around her, pulling her in tightly.

“Merry Christmas Tiny,” he whispered into her hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas loves! Thank you all for reading, I hope this chapter was fun and cheesy enough for you. This will be me last post before Christmas, but hopefully not before the New Year! I have a New Year's Eve chapter planned out, so hopefully it gets posted before Jan 1st. Love you all! Thank you for your continued support and love for this story!
> 
> P.S.  
> I know this whole chapter was super corny, but I am going to be headed in a bit of a darker direction. So I wanted to give you all a little bit of fluff before shit hits the fan. :)


	35. Maybe Tonight Can Be Easy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this took so long! The holidays happened and then I was going through some things. But here it is! I hope you all enjoy it. I know this chapter and the last were a little cheesy cheeseballs, but I'm going to be going in a different direction and I had to give a little first. Enjoy!

“Merry Christmas Tiny,” Bucky whispered in Olivia’s ear.

Her body shook against his as she laughed lightly into him. Bucky was still reeling in shock from her warm welcome. The way he’d left things, her deafening silence, all made him think that his short return would likely be met with a less than enthusiastic Olivia. He had braced himself for a fight, but there were things he needed to say to her, apologies to make. Now that she was pressed so firmly against him, radiating bliss, he had to rearrange his thoughts and his approach.

“Come on Olivia, we don’t have a lot of time,” he said, sliding his hand into hers. She nodded and let him lead her up to his room.

Things were different in the bright light of his bedroom. An awkward energy fell over them without the magic of the Christmas lights. They parted and moved to opposite sides of the room, clinging uncomfortably to the walls. The excitement and joy she’d been projecting began to wane, in its place nerves and anxiety seeped from her. Bucky could feel his own nerves mingle with hers. Her dark eyes watched him, warily.

He deserved it. The trepidation, the apprehension. They’d been doing this for what felt like forever, tiptoeing towards each other, then taking massive leaps back. Bucky was tired of it; he could see that she was tired of it as well. There were exactly two ways for this to go and he had to make sure it went the right way.

“When are you leaving?” she asked.

He knew that was key, how much time they had. There was a lot to say, so much to fix before Steve hauled him away again. In truth, it wasn’t much.

“Tomorrow night,” he told her.

She inhaled sharply, wrapping her arms around her waist. He could see her struggling to not cry, her quivering lip gave her away. Olivia was strong though; she swallowed her tears and met his eyes intently.

“Okay,” she nodded.

There was another moment of silence. He could see her mind racing, he knew he should say something, anything, but words were failing him. Her eyes met his again, sad and pleading.

“Will this ever be easy for us?” Her voice shook as she asked the question. It was an honest question, raw, and Bucky had no idea how to answer.

“I don’t know.”

It wasn’t the answer she wanted, it wasn’t the one he wanted to give, but it was all he had. It was the truth. Things had stopped being easy for Bucky decades ago, he didn’t have much hope that anything would ever be easy for him again. Olivia was no exception.

“Maybe,” Bucky sighed heavily, and ran his fingers through his hair, “maybe tonight, can be easy.”

“Okay,” Olivia nodded again, “yeah. Tonight.” Another pause as she collected herself, “I’m sorry we kissed, I shouldn’t have…my emotions got the better of me and they influenced you.”

Bucky blinked at her, a small, disbelieving laugh escaped his lips. Surely, she couldn’t be serious. He wanted to kiss her that night, he wanted to kiss her every time he was within a few feet of her, Bucky wanted to kiss Olivia always. Evidently, he hadn’t been clear enough with her.

“Olivia,” Bucky said slowly, “do you think you…manipulated me into kissing you?”

“Well…yeah,” she said. Bucky couldn’t help but scoff at her. “Buck, come on, you kissed me, then tried to convince me not to love you.”

“Yeah,” Bucky nodded incredulously, “because I am a complete disaster of a human being and you deserve so much better! I thought you knew that!”

“I don’t want anyone else Bucky, I want you!” she retorted.

“Okay, fine!” he caved. “Why are you yelling at me?!” This was not how he wanted their conversation to go.

“Because I keep pouring my guts out to you and you keep responding with shit like ‘you shouldn’t love me’ or ‘okay fine’! I don’t know what you want Bucky and I can’t for the life of me figure it out!”

“I told you not to fall in love with anyone else Olivia! I said that! I thought you understood what I wanted! I called you and texted you and you ignored me, but I was trying to fix it!”

Bucky stopped abruptly. He needed to regain his composure. Olivia was too overwhelmed; her emotions were like shockwaves running through him. If this was going to be productive in anyway, he was going to have get a hold of his own emotions first. He turned away from her and took a deep breath in, then released it slowly.

“Olivia, I am trying to fix it and it feels like you won’t let me,” he added softly.

There was silence behind him, but he felt the onslaught of emotions slow down. He heard Olivia exhale slowly. Something like regret comes over him. It was coming from her.

“I’m sorry,” Olivia said gently. “I told you I wasn’t going anywhere and then I checked out. I was…I am confused.”

Bucky turned back to her. A smile played across his mouth. “The kiss under the mistletoe didn’t clear things up for you at all?” he asked.

“It’s tradition,” Olivia said, biting her lip.

“Do I strike you as the type to care about traditions like that?” he said.

“No,” Olivia laughed lightly, “I guess not.”

Bucky launched himself towards her cautiously. She watched him, unmoving. He was so tired, tired of fighting her, fighting his feelings for her. He was also terrified. She’d asked him if things would ever be easy, he couldn’t promise her they would be. If it didn’t matter to her, it didn’t matter to him.

When he was within an arm’s reach from her, he stopped. Her eyes widened as she looked up at him, her lips parted slightly. Bucky’s heart raced, he swallowed hard, hoping she couldn’t hear it. His fingers reached out and gently brushed the soft skin of her cheek.

“Tonight, was supposed to be easy,” she said meekly.

“I know,” Bucky nodded. “I’m sorry Olivia. Things are rarely easy with me.”

“You’re telling me.” Her tone was playful, but Bucky knew there was truth behind her words. She gave him a sad smile and pressed her hand against his.

“Olivia, there’s only one way I know how to do this,” Bucky breathed. His voice hitched in his throat, his nerves making it difficult for him to catch a breath. “So just…hold tight Tiny.”

Confusion clouded her face, Bucky didn’t explain, he didn’t want to waste any more time on words. Words failed him, constantly. Maybe at one point in his life he’d been charming enough to get by on words, but that time was long gone. Olivia was the only person in the world who could feel what he felt. Finally, Bucky dropped every barrier he’d put between them, letting her in fully and completely.

Her deep eyes bounced back and forth, trying to focus on his. A small gasp escaped her lips as she slowly began to realize the true extent of Bucky’s feelings for her. She grabbed his face, pressing her lips firmly against his. It was magnetic, he knew nothing in the world could stop her from kissing him in that moment.

Bucky staggered back slightly at the full force of her crashing into him. His body relaxed into hers and he wrapped his arms tightly around her waist. He laughed as she released him, feeling truly hopeful for the first time in a long time.

“Bucky,” she sputtered, grabbing a hunk of her own curls, and staring up at him wildly. “You…how have you been keeping that from me.”

“I guess I’m just better at using your powers than you are,” he shrugged playfully.

“Shut up,” she chuckled.

Her cheeks flushed bright red in embarrassment from her uncontrollable reaction. She pressed her face sheepishly into his chest.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t say it back Olivia,” Bucky said, resting his cheek atop her head. “You are insanely intimidating for such a tiny person, with all of your intense emotions and feelings.”

Olivia snorted and shook her head. She kept her face hidden in him, unable to face him just yet. Bucky nudged her head with his nose, gently asking her to look up at him. She complied, though rather reluctantly. Her cheeks were still tinged with pink and Bucky held back a laugh.

“I love you Tiny,” he told her.

“Yeah, no shit,” she replied, grinning broadly.

“I guess I deserve that,” he laughed.

Olivia laughed too, nodding her head furiously. She stood on her tiptoes and softly touched her lips to his. Bucky recognized it as the first time that she had initiated a kiss. It was gentle, apprehensive. He returned the kiss, sliding his hand up her back and resting it at the nape of her neck. Bucky stumbled backwards as she pushed her body flush against his.

Her arms reached up and laced together behind his neck. A small, high pitched gasp, escaped Olivia’s mouth, as Bucky lifted her off the ground. Her legs wrapped around his waist and her lips were back on his, claiming his mouth again. Bucky moved backwards slowly, until his legs found the bed, then he sat, resting her on top of him. Her kiss was no longer soft and apprehensive. Her mouth moved desperately across his. When he responded in kind, she greedily took what she’d been craving for so long. 

Bucky let her pull off his shirt. He shivered as her fingertips trailed down his bare back. Her touch sent tiny bolts of electricity throughout his entire body and he wanted more. His hands slid down her and rested on her thighs, grasping them tightly. Their lips parted together again, fervently, too fast and their teeth hit. Olivia pulled back; her face flushed.

“I’m sorry,” she said quickly.

“For what?” Bucky asked. It came out in a pant and he realized he hadn’t been breathing properly. “It’s fine, I’m okay…are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Olivia nodded. An air of embarrassment sat heavily between them. “The teeth…I didn’t mean…I just got a little--”

“—carried away?” he finished for her. She laughed and her head bobbed up and down. Bucky tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “Yeah, me too. We don’t have to…rush into things.”

“Right,” Olivia said. She bit her lip.

Bucky reached for his shirt, but she put her hand over his, stopping him. He looked up at her questioningly. Her face was pink under her freckles, there was a glint in her eye. A playful grin pulled at the corners of her mouth.

“What is it Tiny?” he asked, grinning slightly himself.

“It’s just…we only have tonight.”

“Yeah,” Bucky leaned in, kissing her, “that is true. I won’t be in Wakanda forever though.”

“Yes,” Olivia sighed. “Well, here’s your shirt then.”

She handed him his shirt and began to slide herself off of him. Bucky wrapped his arm around her waist and twisted her onto her back. She giggled as he climbed on top of her.

“I have to tell you,” he said breathlessly, “I am wildly out of practice.”

“Shut up Bucky.” She laughed, then twisted her fingers in his hair and pulled his lips to her.

* * *

There is a moment, just before Bucky gets on the jet with Steve, where Olivia feels like she isn’t going to see him ever again. He looks down at her, with his intense blue eyes and brushes a strand of hair from her forehead.

“Hey,” he says gently, “this isn’t forever.”

“I know,” Olivia nods. He’s said these words to her before, but the feeling is relentless. She has to clench her jaw to keep from crying.

“I am going to be back Tiny,” he smiles. There is hesitation in his eyes, and then he says, “And when I come back…I’m going to marry you.”

The feeling persists, but it is overridden with a new, giddy feeling. Olivia can’t help but laugh, she can’t help the tears that well up in her eyes either.

“Is that a promise?” she asks.

“Is that a yes?”

“Usually there’s some sort of ring involved.”

Bucky laughs and gives her a nod. He runs a hand through his hair, pushing it back out of his face. Olivia places her hand against his cheek, laughing with him.

“Admittedly this is all a little last minute,” Bucky shrugs.

Olivia doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t have to; he knows how she feels. She stands on her tiptoes and gives him one last kiss. It’s a hard, urgent kind of a kiss. The fear rises up in her again, that this might in fact be their very last kiss. She shakes it as his lips press into hers fervently. He forces himself to pull away.

“I love you Olivia,” he says, touching his forehead to hers.

"I love you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the tense shift at the end is intentional and I apologize if it's jarring. Also, I have been working on another OC/Bucky fic and if you wanted to check that one out too, I would be so thrilled! I'm really vibing with it right now. It's called Blindsided. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading! I appreciate you all so much!


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